Hi PartGypsy. I wish I knew some magic words to try and help alleviate some of your pain. I can't imagine losing my better half. I tear up thinking about it and there's even times I hope I go first. I have to remind myself that if I go first, she will be in the same pain that I wish to avoid. I don't want that for her.
Helping others is what helps me. It helps me so much, that I almost have to question my motives. Doesn't have to be volunteering regularly somewhere, I just try to leave myself open to the possibility. Sometimes it's a big thing and other times just little stuff.
As for working, if you don't have too, get a hobby that's time consuming and fun.
The loneliness can be tough. When I get into a funk, I try extra hard to get out and about. Go to a park, stop at a random ball game and just watch, take a walk, or do something that at least gives others a chance to interact with you. Put yourself out there, that's on you.
What do you want to do? What do you really want to do? Don't consider what others want you to do, what do YOU want to do?
I hope you hang out here and give someone(s) a chance to connect with you. There is a subforum here called "Matters of the Heart". It also has like a place to let others know a little about you and that you're open to a relationship. Think that ones called "Dating Resumes" or something like that.
Best of luck with everything.