New and Scared

[mcfan]

Dear all,
I have just had a job catastrophe happen to me and I've been looking at Youtube for answers and saw this group. I am afraid and finding it hard to take a step in ANY direction. Does anyone have any comments to help me. This may be the only lifestyle that I can do at 59 years of age.

Thanks
mcFan

 

[WanderingRose]

Deep breaths.

If you’re feeling immobilized, perhaps find someone to talk to and go over your situation and options with, such as family member, friend or crisis center.

Good luck.

 

[RoamerRV428]

job catastrophe happen? sorry for your troubles and that suks. Nothing like a giant slap in the face when ya aren't expecting it to go down like that.

Is this a lifestyle you do want? Cause if it is just a fix in a way it might not work out so well, maybe something else would float your boat????

So if you want this lifestyle......then don't worry. You want it and even if crappy stuff came your way, it is a true goal you can walk forward to and feel like you are doing what is best for you.

I have no clue on your financials etc. with your post and not knowing you at all but at 59 absolutely sure you can do this!!

Breathe! And I mean that. Do not panic. Let all that wash over you and go into 'fix/action' mode now and take your time, check financials, check lifestyle you want, check what you can sell, how you want to live and write it down and find all the pros to this lifestyle and how you can move forward.

It is hard to take a step in any direction right now. You need thinking time Time to take it all in, re-evaluate, find a path and get on that path of what you need to do and want. That takes a bit of time. Work thru the emotions of it all, grab it all by the tail and fix what needs fixing and put yourself on the forward movement path! You got this!!

best of luck to you and it sounds like if you take your time, get past the shock of it all, follow the truth of how you need to fix your lifestyle and get what you want out of it, you will be OK!!

 

[cyndi]

Deep breaths. Talk to people who know you well. Don't jump into anything.

Start making lists, of Everything.
What you want and don't want
Priorities
All your options, temp and permanent
Financial responsibilities

At some point the lists will begin to cross over

 

[glasschick66]

Welcome mcFan!
write down all your options for living and start brainstorming....what can and will work, what won't...what you really can see yourself being able to do. I think it will help you see that they are many options available to you, whether it is living in a vehicle or something else. Let people know where you are, what you can do and I am sure you will get some great advice.
Think of this as a new chapter in your life and embrace it instead of being scared of it! Good Luck to you.

 

[highdesertranger]

Welcome mcFan to the CRVL forums! To help you learn the ins and outs of these forums, this "Tips, Tricks and Rules" post lists some helpful information to get you started. We look forward to hearing more from you. highdesertranger

 

[RoamerRV428]

At some point the lists will begin to cross over

love this thought, after we re-evaluate it all the list does cross over and into the path we kinda know we want to head, I really like this thought

great posts on the board for ya from everyone!

 

[Moxadox]

Welcome, mcfan! So much good advice here, I'm just adding my good juju in your direction. Keep breathing.

The Dire Wolfess

 

[travelaround]

This sounds like one of those situations where when one door closes another one opens. Last time I had a job catastrophe I felt such a sense of relief that the stress of that situation was over. I hope you have that freeing feeling as well as you recover from this.

If you're truly attracted to the idea of living in a vehicle, it could be a good answer for you. But if you think of it as "rock bottom" in life, why bother? Either life is an adventure or it is not. Do you want a boring, ordinary life, or an adventure? Those are the choices. Remember, poverty is a state of mind. I can say, from having lived without much money for a lot of years, that there are other powerful blessings that make up for a lack of money. One could be - not having to go to work every day.

Job slavery is just that - a form of slavery ... we exchange our time (seriously, our lives and life energies) ... usually to benefit some rich people who don't care about us - they only care about what we can do for them. Our wages and salaries barely cover our daily needs, so we will stay hooked on going to work every week day, to help enrich them. Our time slips away as we give, give, give to them, in exchange for money to support our sticks and bricks dwellings and lifestyle. All that is intended to help us make it to work the next day again. It is hard to become wealthy while working for someone else.

Anyhow, welcome to the forum. I trust that your future is bright.

 

[mpruet]

Any change in your life can be frightening - especially when it is a surprise event. 

I don't know your financial position so can't give any specific advise.  Generally when folks reach 59 they are starting to prepare mentally for their life after work. They start making adjustments and coming to grips with what life will be once they leave the work force.  It is pretty difficult when they are forced to leave the work place when it is not on their terms.

First of all, the worst thing to do is to panic.  You have to tell yourself that you can survive just fine.  Yes - you will have to make adjustments and that is normally something that happens gradually by folks as they approach their retirement age.  But first you need to decide if you need to continue work or not. 

At 59 you still have several years that you could work.  I don't know what your skill set is, but I do know that one of the most important things about getting any job is confidence that you can do the job that you are seeking.  If you let fear get in the way then no one would be interested in hiring you.  So it if very important that you get control of your fear and convince yourself that there is no reason to be afraid.

Other folks have already mentioned making a list of all of your expenses and your assets.  You need to add to that the new expenses that you will encounter.  You need to be realistic in what your expenses will be.   Unfortunately you are too young for medicare so you will have an added expense of health insurance.  You are at the age where medical expenses can rise so health insurance is not something you can skimp on.  After you do an objective analysis of your situation you may or may not decide to pursue work.

Once you have a list of your expenses, you need to examine each item to see what can be dropped.  Do you need cable?  I switched to over the air and am doing just fine. Do you need that land line?  If you have internet would it be cheaper to add an unlimited data plan to your cell and drop cable?  Are you paying into a life insurance policy that can be cashed out or dropped?  These are all things that every person should periodically do even if they are employed because it is amazing how quickly those hidden expenses can mount up.  I know that I was able to drop about $300/month when I reached 60, and that's $3600 a year.

So don't view this event as a life disaster.  View it as an event which is forcing you to take control of your life and you'll do just fine.

 

[AMGS3]

Welcome to the forum Mcfan.

Since you describe your situation that happened as a job catastrophe, I'm assuming that somehow, suddenly, you find yourself with drastically reduced income, possibly none.

I'm sorry this happened to you. I know that this sucks.

This next part, the what you do next part, is where you probably feel powerless. You probably didn't plan for this catastrophe to happen. But there are definitely things that you can do.

Make the lists mentioned above. They help you see what you actually spend $ on. (A lot of people, oddly enough, spend a great deal of money on little things that really add up to big $ without realizing it.) They help you organize your needs v. wants. They help you brainstorm ideas. They help you plan what's next.

Also, possibly just as helpful, lists or brainstorming scribble sheets help you get the worry out of your head and onto paper. Studies have shown that people who make a simple to do list at night for the next day sleep better than those same people on different nights when they don't make the list. I had a counselor share that nugget with me once.

You need to prioritize. There are ways to cut your expenses and still have similar things. Maybe you decide that cable and internet at home is a luxury you no longer need (see how that sounds better than "a luxury you can't afford"). So you go to your local library for the free internet access (either their WiFi or to use their desktops) and borrow movie/TV show discs there to take home and watch. Maybe you start listening to your favorite sports games on the radio instead of watching on the cable package you used to have.

This next part may be scary - but please bear with me -

Our list of basic needs as humans is actually really short.
-Shelter from the weather (both a structure and clothing)
-Water
-Food
-A way to keep warm in winter
-A way to keep cooler in summer
-Medicine

We do not actually need a lot of what people think are "necessities".

I do not know where you live but I am assuming it is in the US. There are social services programs that can help you out if you find yourself suddenly laid off.

Do you qualify for unemployment?

Does the area you live in have a job placement or job training assistance program?

If you are in need of food, please visit your local food bank. They can help.

Do you now qualify for food stamps (EBT)? This is important. Many people qualify but feel weird about receiving food assistance.

Do you now qualify for medical assistance?

If you own your own home or are renting and planning on staying through the winter -- are you worried about being able to pay to heat your house this winter? Ask about heating assistance. Do this NOW (don't wait) as it is a need based program and funds are distributed based on need, they go quickly.

Lots of local organizations offer help to the needy in a variety of ways. It makes sense to use what money you have on things you can't find help for, than to just spend it as you might normally spend and be left with less for everything. Does that make sense? I mean, if you qualify for food assistance, but spend your cash on groceries. Or if there's a coat drive where you can get a winter coat, hat, and mittens, but you spend your cash on buying those things at a store... Then you have less in the long run for things that you have to pay out of pocket for. Try not to do that.

The last thing I'll say for now is this. It really doesn't matter how this catastrophe with your job happened. People lose their jobs due to natural disasters, unexpected layoffs or firings, or even things like the business failing, or arson. All of those people are in the same boat. Suddenly experiencing a drastic drop in income. The biggest hurdle in many ways will be changing your mentality. Perhaps you fear bring poor? Many people do. But really the only difference between a "poor" person and a "middle income" person is money, and money doesn't make you what you are on the inside. It isn't what is inside our hearts and brains. If you feel weird or uncomfortable receiving help from the programs I mentioned above, try not to let that stop you. If you qualify for help, then you need it. If you need help, then you really can't afford turning away assistance just because it makes you feel needy. Again, there is no difference between the worth of a poor person and a middle income person. This financial state of limbo you currently find yourself in is temporary. If you feel guilty about accepting assistance tell yourself that you will pay it forward when you are back on your feet. And do it. Donate money to your local food bank, or donate time to the local animal shelter, or volunteer at some other place you find once you are in a more secure place yourself. But do not let any possible feelings of guilt prevent you from accepting the help you need right now.

Peace,
~angie

Sent from my VS501 using Tapatalk

 

[AMGS3]

Oops, I forgot to mention that where I live there is something called emergency housing assistance program. It is made for people who are suddenly without income. The state oversees it and basically they can help with monthly housing costs for 2 months. It's income based, and there are limits to the amount monthly they pay and lifetime limits (they don't pay your rent forever). But it's worth asking about.

And depending on where you live some of the social services and human services programs will not be available. Food stamps are available nationwide. So is heating assistance.

Keep in mind, if you never ask the answer will always be "no".

~angie

Sent from my VS501 using Tapatalk

 

[mpruet]

good advise...

 

[Smitty716]

First thing is don’t panic , this is hard but things will get better . When I was 44 I was diagnosed with a rare lung desease and my lungs started collapsing. I was instantly disabled after 38 years as a mechanic. I was told by my local hospital to go home And die. I hit the bottle hard for 2 days when a friend of the family came by and drug me to another hospital. They recommend another hospital . After emergency surgery I was left with a flat lung and a 2 inch hole in my side. Ten years later they finally removed the old lung and hopefully I’ll be able to attend RTR this year. Sorry this is so long of a post but , it’s proof if it doesn’t kill you it will get better. Depression often happens after being told you can’t work or you suddenly lose a job. Get a hobby it will help. Things Will Get Better

 

[Mazer]

McFan - Sorry to hear about your employment issues. I think you really need to start asking yourself some hard questions.
Can you get another job readily?
Are you happy where you live?
Do you have any experience in road tripping or camping?
How does your community tolerate people living in their vehicles?
How reliable is your current vehicle? ** If not very reliable, do you have enough resources to purchase a better one?
What is your monthly expenses?
Are you tied to your current community? IE - Do you need to go to see a doctor more than once a year or once a month???
How many of your things would be be ready to part with permanently? or put into storage - Can you handle that monthly expense???
ALL that typed I have a suggestion.
You do kind of have perfect timing. I suggest you head down to the Desert Southwest for a week and talk to the peeps who are there. Get a better idea of what you are up against and you might find information and ideas which can help free you up.
I feel for you, Please don't despair, keep us posted and hang in there.

 

[mcfan]

I have looked at my situation and here is my thought: I was completely happy prior to choosing this "career" and all my misery is the result of being in this career. I have literally experienced all the misery in my life since entering this career. I have tolerated my feelings in this career for 10 of the 24 years I've been in this career. I knew it wasn't for me but I wanted to please others i suppose and I became dependent on the income. I didn't realize i was burned out or if I did I thought I'd be able to endure. That was a huge mistake.

I stopped growing at the point I entered this profession. I stopped growing because I entered this career BECAUSE of my personal deficiencies. By doing that I lost 24 years of spiritual/personal growth in the service of status and working year after year BREAKING EVEN. I made NO MONEY in this profession. Every year I thought I needed diversity, hedges, whatever, but couldn't step away and do it because I was afraid of getting off the gerbil wheel.

I am afraid because it is so new, but this weekend I realized it isn't. I've had to "start over" several times in my life. But each time I didn't have the responsibilities I do now, so that is a new issue.

I have looked at RV'ing lately because it would detach me from Wage Slavery. I would return me to a lifestyle profile that I occupied in complete ignorance prior to me entering The Career. I lived simply without know that's what I was doing. It just seemed natural to me, but now i know that it is the way I'm supposed to be.

I need to figure out how to maintain connection with my kids who love me very much. I have to figure out how to serve them and me. Now I know I need to serve me as well. Just how, that's the issue, the how.

My "plan", evolved this weekend, based on Wells's suggestions, is to do the following:
I have skills, I can craft them into an annual plan IF i can get an rv that is paid for. So issue one is to get the RV put together.

1) Get the RV
2) Connect the year into jobs on a path from here, to job 1, then job 2, and so on.
3) Incorporate my kids in some meaningful way
4) Economically I should be able to include several jobs and in several years SSI, into a plan.
5) I don't think I'll be able do this without friends, but I've lost that ability. I'm encouraged by the number of people I see on Youtube who seem interested in each other. I hope to find some (i'm not soliciting pity, just speaking openly about my fears) in the future.

 

[mcfan]

good advise...

Thanks very much. I'm on it.

 

[mcfan]

Welcome mcFan!
write down all your options for living and start brainstorming....what can and will work, what won't...what you really can see yourself being able to do. I think it will help you see that they are many options available to you, whether it is living in a vehicle or something else. Let people know where you are, what you can do and I am sure you will get some great advice.
Think of this as a new chapter in your life and embrace it instead of being scared of it! Good Luck to you.

I like this concept. Reframe to adventure from dark tunnel. I think the reframe is that all the bad reasons I got into my career cascaded on me and now I have to find that place I was looking for all along.

 

[travelaround]

Reframe to adventure from dark tunnel. . . .now I have to find that place I was looking for all along.

Pretty exciting stuff when you stop to think about it. Opportunities now exist for you that weren't there before.

 

[GypsyJan]

Sometimes we have to be hit over the head with a 2x4 in order to re-evaluate and go where we are meant to be. The firm I was with for nearly 3 decades filed bankruptcy. I had to find another job at age 64. I plan to work a few more years then retire and travel as a minivan dweller. You, too, will be fine!