together so he can't poke the numbers on his phone and order things off infomercials. We both like to cook, but I don't need every bloody gadget known to man. He does. He uses it for a couple weeks and it never comes out again after that. A box just came. An overpriced Emeril Air Fryer. Where the heck am I supposed to put that? He already filled a big part of the counter with his Keurig last month.
Need Advice on How to Duct Tape DH's Hands
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highdesertranger
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"An overpriced Emeril Air Fryer"
I saw one of those at a thrift store a couple of weeks ago. well to tell the truth I saw the box, I don't know what was in it because I didn't look.
aren't those like an electric oven with a fan?
you see a lot of coffee makers at thrift stores even Keurig.
highdesertranger
I saw one of those at a thrift store a couple of weeks ago. well to tell the truth I saw the box, I don't know what was in it because I didn't look.
aren't those like an electric oven with a fan?
you see a lot of coffee makers at thrift stores even Keurig.
highdesertranger
Instead of duct tape put a rubber (elastic) band on his wrist. Give him this set of instructions for its use. "when you are tempted to buy us stuff we don't really need but only want then snap it instead of clicking the buy now button. Rubber bands are great behavior modification tools, it really does work to distract the brain and reduce unwanted habits.
Works for reducing constantly checking Facebook, works for reducing those nagging repetitive thoughts about worry, past events you want to quit thinking about, for things such as stop biting your nails, clenching our teeth etc. It is a mild negative reinforcement that works by interrupting the brains train of thoughts. But remember it takes about 21 days to reprogram and break a bad habit and the reduction of the unwanted behavior takes a curve shape but with some peaks and valleys to it.
Works for reducing constantly checking Facebook, works for reducing those nagging repetitive thoughts about worry, past events you want to quit thinking about, for things such as stop biting your nails, clenching our teeth etc. It is a mild negative reinforcement that works by interrupting the brains train of thoughts. But remember it takes about 21 days to reprogram and break a bad habit and the reduction of the unwanted behavior takes a curve shape but with some peaks and valleys to it.
highdesertranger
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on some people you would need an electro shock. what was that movie? Through Cat's eyes, or something like that. highdesertranger
jimindenver
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Just agree that you both have to approve each others purchases. It worked with my ex because while he thought he should have say over what I buy, me having say over what he bought was out of the question. That was the end of THAT conversation. lol
jokes aside understanding the causes of behavior leads to ways to channel the behavior away from things such as excessive shopping.
Humans do have an ingrained instinct for hunting and gathering and also nuturing. Modern times have redirected that instinct into ways of generating income and the hunting and gathering has become much more about shopping then acquiring that targeted prey. Of course skills are involved too the most successful hunters have good skill sets.
When a person retires and no longer is engaged in the activities that generate income then sometimes they do turn to excessive shopping for the sense of accomplishment. While there is indeed a reward of acquisition it can have way to many downsides.
So you need to find substitute activities that feed that impulse to hunt and gather. Hobbies can give us those. One easy but challenging and rewarding hobby for nomads is digital photography. Ordinary looking things can become exotic and exciting looking, real works of art. If you publish the photos on social media you can gather lots of rewards in the way of compliments about your skills. Tribal approval instead of approval by a corporate system. There can even be monetary rewards if one wishes to pursue that. There are online communities devoted to gaining the skills to getting extroidinary photos using the cameras built into cell phones combined with free apps for modifying and enhancing photos. Because the results can be stored on very small memory cards it is in many ways the ultimate hobby for a van dweller who is storage space challenged.
Of course if you want to capture a mans attention and lead them into such a hobby make it a challenge such as which one of you takes the best photo of the day. Then have a little reward for that, you will think of something, it can be something very simple such as a giving a back rub, having the other person make breakfast or wash the dishes.
Some people bird watch and keep records, others do vegetation hunting, identifying plants and flowers. Some go mushroom hunting or rock hounding. All of those activities are related to hunting and gathering and come with the reward of "acquisition".
There are also other hunting activities such as target shooting with arrows, slingshots, pellet guns, those are more direct hunting activities but hitting the target is the reward, the acquiring of skills is the reward rather than actually killing something. Fishing is in the category of active hunting and gathering.
So get busy and switch him over to a substitute activity for the rewards that he was getting from online shopping. But do have a discussion about what online shopping was bringing to him and why it would be a good idea to make a change to something different.
Humans do have an ingrained instinct for hunting and gathering and also nuturing. Modern times have redirected that instinct into ways of generating income and the hunting and gathering has become much more about shopping then acquiring that targeted prey. Of course skills are involved too the most successful hunters have good skill sets.
When a person retires and no longer is engaged in the activities that generate income then sometimes they do turn to excessive shopping for the sense of accomplishment. While there is indeed a reward of acquisition it can have way to many downsides.
So you need to find substitute activities that feed that impulse to hunt and gather. Hobbies can give us those. One easy but challenging and rewarding hobby for nomads is digital photography. Ordinary looking things can become exotic and exciting looking, real works of art. If you publish the photos on social media you can gather lots of rewards in the way of compliments about your skills. Tribal approval instead of approval by a corporate system. There can even be monetary rewards if one wishes to pursue that. There are online communities devoted to gaining the skills to getting extroidinary photos using the cameras built into cell phones combined with free apps for modifying and enhancing photos. Because the results can be stored on very small memory cards it is in many ways the ultimate hobby for a van dweller who is storage space challenged.
Of course if you want to capture a mans attention and lead them into such a hobby make it a challenge such as which one of you takes the best photo of the day. Then have a little reward for that, you will think of something, it can be something very simple such as a giving a back rub, having the other person make breakfast or wash the dishes.
Some people bird watch and keep records, others do vegetation hunting, identifying plants and flowers. Some go mushroom hunting or rock hounding. All of those activities are related to hunting and gathering and come with the reward of "acquisition".
There are also other hunting activities such as target shooting with arrows, slingshots, pellet guns, those are more direct hunting activities but hitting the target is the reward, the acquiring of skills is the reward rather than actually killing something. Fishing is in the category of active hunting and gathering.
So get busy and switch him over to a substitute activity for the rewards that he was getting from online shopping. But do have a discussion about what online shopping was bringing to him and why it would be a good idea to make a change to something different.
RoamerRV428
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do what I would do, get right in his face and say the next time you buy some darn useless gadget I will be shoving up your …………. hee hee…...my hubby is a buyer. I finally over the years shut down most useless spending with him thru being on his butt about it 
because I am a super minimalist type and honestly it drove me batty to have junk surrounding me. I can't stand useless junk just sitting in my space, clogging up my cabinets he has finally gotten the point and he buys less now, but not when it comes to his fishing gear etc tho LOL
because I am a super minimalist type and honestly it drove me batty to have junk surrounding me. I can't stand useless junk just sitting in my space, clogging up my cabinets he has finally gotten the point and he buys less now, but not when it comes to his fishing gear etc tho LOL
eDJ_
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Perhaps you could take him yard saleing ? Then he could buy this same stuff at a much reduced price and add the value of getting things for cheap.
When I worked in Industrial Design & Packaging I saw so many "contrived" products that were made for the Christmas Gift Giving Season. Many of these "gizmo's" would never be taken out of the box and used and were destined for the first yard sales in April. Essentially....manufactured junk with no clear problem solving function to serve he owner. (except to take up valuable cabinet space and collect dust there) Much of this kind of stuff is manufactured offshore and only serves to ramp up the profitability of the company marketing it.
When I studied ID at Design School some of the students got summer jobs working for Municipal Trash Collection. It wasn't for the money.....but to see what people threw away and to observe how new it was.
Today I still enjoy walking thru what Walmart calls it's "Action Alley's" around Thanksgiving to see the new gift giving junk. Then by March & April....hit the yard sales/flea markets to see how many of those items are on display there.
In fairness, yes the stuff will work but it's like reinventing the wheel and giving it yet another new look. As a product on a shelf the magic is gift giving season sales. If at other times it may take polished Pitch Men & Women relying on their fake Euro accents.
When I worked in Industrial Design & Packaging I saw so many "contrived" products that were made for the Christmas Gift Giving Season. Many of these "gizmo's" would never be taken out of the box and used and were destined for the first yard sales in April. Essentially....manufactured junk with no clear problem solving function to serve he owner. (except to take up valuable cabinet space and collect dust there) Much of this kind of stuff is manufactured offshore and only serves to ramp up the profitability of the company marketing it.
When I studied ID at Design School some of the students got summer jobs working for Municipal Trash Collection. It wasn't for the money.....but to see what people threw away and to observe how new it was.
Today I still enjoy walking thru what Walmart calls it's "Action Alley's" around Thanksgiving to see the new gift giving junk. Then by March & April....hit the yard sales/flea markets to see how many of those items are on display there.
In fairness, yes the stuff will work but it's like reinventing the wheel and giving it yet another new look. As a product on a shelf the magic is gift giving season sales. If at other times it may take polished Pitch Men & Women relying on their fake Euro accents.
Years ago, we started giving gift certificates for restaurants, movies, ice cream shops, video rentals, fancy gourmet grocery stores, ice rinks, etc. Few people need more junk in their lives, but everyone can use a nice outing or some gourmet treats.
ZoNiE
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Nailed it here! Great post!maki2 said:
RoadtripsAndCampfires
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Perhaps go to your credit card recipts and give him a total for the last several months. Tell him if he stops watching the channel for those same # of months he can have the equivalent in cash to buy what he wants provided it isn't from the internet.
If you are going to eventually van or RV life you'll have to get rid of a lot of it most likely. And those K cups are EXPENSIVE.
I once did a lot of ordering from TV. It's easy to get hooked in. That was years ago. Once the RV life started becoming real and near downsizing became new hobby.
Christine
If you are going to eventually van or RV life you'll have to get rid of a lot of it most likely. And those K cups are EXPENSIVE.
I once did a lot of ordering from TV. It's easy to get hooked in. That was years ago. Once the RV life started becoming real and near downsizing became new hobby.
Christine
