How to tell your friends and fam?

[Imladris]

I definitely understand this dilemma, primarily in respect to my dad. While I love the rest of my family, I respect the hell out of my dad. Part of the reason I will have a difficult time telling him is because I do believe that he wants what is best for me and I don't want him to worry. So my plan is simply not to tell them. At least not until I have already been on the road a little while. Then I can show them it isn't so bad and I can deal on my own.

 

[4x4tour]

<FONT face="times new roman, times, serif" size=3>If you don't have a history of this, I sure do hope you father doesn't have a heart condition.... With all these recent kidanapping cases, I would FAREEEEEK out if my daughter did that (waiting to not tell).&nbsp;</FONT><BR><FONT face="times new roman, times, serif" size=3></FONT>&nbsp;<BR><FONT face="times new roman, times, serif" size=3>She's only 7, so I refuse to even think about it...lol&nbsp;&nbsp; </FONT><BR><FONT face="times new roman, times, serif" size=3></FONT>&nbsp;<BR><FONT face="times new roman, times, serif" size=3>Anyway,&nbsp; research the areas before you camp out.&nbsp; For example, most people think Arizona is a great place to hang out, but not many know that the Phoenix area&nbsp;leads the nation is kidnappings...&nbsp; Just sayin'....</FONT><BR><FONT face="times new roman, times, serif" size=3></FONT>&nbsp;<BR><FONT face="times new roman, times, serif" size=3>I'm one of those "the best defense is a good offense" type of guys, and I would hope you get into a similar frame of mind...&nbsp; </FONT><BR><FONT face="times new roman, times, serif" size=3></FONT>&nbsp;<BR><FONT face="times new roman, times, serif" size=3>I just gave you "bribe talk" for pops.&nbsp; Let him know you're researching areas, checking crime areas online, preparing for anyone who may try to take advantage of you etc... </FONT><BR><FONT face="times new roman, times, serif" size=3></FONT>&nbsp;<BR><FONT face="times new roman, times, serif" size=3>Personally, if I was your father, Id buy you a Delorme pn60w handheld NAV with MySpot satellite text messaging wordlwide.&nbsp; On/Offroad navigation and the ability to send text messages (not receive)&nbsp;to anyone, anytime, in ANY location.&nbsp;&nbsp; </FONT><BR><FONT face="times new roman, times, serif" size=3></FONT>&nbsp;<BR><FONT face="times new roman, times, serif" size=3>I have the set-up. and the piece of mind is pricless.&nbsp; Maybe your dad will wanna buy it for you, for HIS piece of mind...lol</FONT><BR><FONT face="times new roman, times, serif" size=3></FONT>&nbsp;<BR><FONT face="times new roman, times, serif" size=3>AJ</FONT><BR><BR><BR><BR><BR><FONT face="times new roman, times, serif" size=3></FONT>&nbsp;<BR><BR>

 

[butterfly]

<P><FONT size=3 face="Tahoma, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif">Imladris, Does your family not live nearby?&nbsp; &nbsp;what&nbsp;happens when&nbsp;one of&nbsp;them decides to&nbsp;pop in unexpectedly for a visit?&nbsp;&nbsp; and you are off nobody-knows-where.....I think they'd worried sick &amp; be hurt that you didn't trust them enough to confide.&nbsp; I'm sure your family&nbsp;can reach you by cell phone but I can see keeping it a secret coming back to bite you. jmo</FONT></P>

 

[dragonflyinthesky]

<P><b>To Imaldris-Good advice coming from aj and butterfly.&nbsp; I understand how hard it is for a young (or old) woman to stand up to relatives, please stand your ground in the open with them so they know whats going on. </b></P>

 

[karl]

<font size="4">Good advice</font>.<br><font size="4">A bit of discomfort in the beginning will save lots in the long term.....If you indeed respect your Dad - you both deserve honesty in your( and every) relationship.<br></font><br>

 

[Imladris]

Lol. Yes my family lives nearby, but they are not the types to just drop in. Only my dad knows where my place is, and I've lived here almost two years now. My family is a traditional southern family that likes to think they are close, but that doesn't change the fact that I just found out that my 30-yr old brother has been suicidal since he was 15. I would tell them where I would be and tell them I was staying with friends or had my own place.

 

[fwiw]

I'm homeless because I can't live with my family.&nbsp; They have no idea where I am right now and I like it that way.<br><br><br>

 

[triumph]

For me being a relatively young van-dweller in a big city makes this a little easier. &nbsp;See in Manhattan there's a veritable cornucopia of fine "hipster" women who are already convinced that living an alternative lifestyle is punk rock and oh-so-cool, yet they can't conceive of actually giving up their condo (and who can blame them?). &nbsp; They don't want to date an actual squatter punk either because they smell bad and that's dangerous. &nbsp;I swoop in there and teach them that being with this particular van dweller may very well be the perfect compromise. &nbsp;<div><br></div><div>Their yearning to temporarily set aside their bourgeoisie lifestyle draws them into my sphere where they are bedazzled by my anarchist convictions and minimalist yet exceedingly comfortable dwelling. &nbsp;By the time they realize that I'm really just bourgeoisie&nbsp;petite they're already hooked on this sweet loving, and I have a free place to shower :&gt; &nbsp;My friends back home gave me all the van by the river jokes until I sent them back the first set of snapshots..&nbsp;</div><div><div><div><br></div><div>My parents are a different story... It helps to remind them of all the horrible twists and turns that my life could have taken. &nbsp;What's surprising is that I suspect being in jail or being a heroin addict would &nbsp;be more socially acceptable and easier for them to deal with than me living in a van. &nbsp;After all almost half the US population is in jail. They hide this well though and they are always supportive of me no matter what. &nbsp;</div><div><br></div><div>-triumph</div><div><br></div><div>p.s.</div><div><br></div><div>- disclaimer -&nbsp;</div><div><br></div><div>I'm exaggerating and potentially fabricating everything I've written here of course but by how much is a closely guarded secret. &nbsp;The details have been changed to protect the innocent&nbsp;<img src="/images/boards/smilies/smile.gif" border="0" align="absmiddle"> &nbsp;&nbsp;</div></div></div>

 

[Lyric]

I've been contemplating the quote, "Silence is often misunderstood yet never misquoted!"&nbsp; The more I think about it, write it, or say it, the more it just makes plain sense.&nbsp; Additionally, I'm about simplicity wherever possible, thus it's nobody's business really.&nbsp; I suppose I've always been guarded about where I lay my head.&nbsp; The "need to know basis" is what I consider when it comes to many things.&nbsp; If you don't put your business out there you don't have to concern yourself with who thinks whatever they think.&nbsp; I dunno, just makes sense to me.&nbsp; Especially for the types that feel some kinda of way; i.e., needing approval or whatever word you use on what/how they live their lives.<br>

 

[Lyric]

Triumph!,<br><br>Now THAT'S what's up with ya sweet lovin' self.&nbsp; LOL!<br><br>

 

[Seraphim]

Present them with a done deed lol. "oh, BTW, did I mention I've been living out of my van for the past three months" lol.

I'm afraid I can't offer personal experience on this one, but I'll tell you what I told my son: it's your life to life to live - no one else's. You choose your own goals and go for them . Choose what you think will make you happy. If that doesn't work, choose again. One day you'll get it right.

 

[sl1966]

"I'm homeless, I'm mobile, get used to it!"<br><br><img border="0" align="absmiddle" src="https://vanlivingforum.com/images/boards/smilies/rofl.gif"><br><div><br><div><br></div></div>

 

[WanderingRonin]

I think as long as they are assured that you are taking care of yourself and that you don't look the part of the hobo, it'll be fine.&nbsp;

 

[WanderingRonin]

The jealousy aspect has been covered before, but I thought I'd share a few things the other postings have triggered in me.<div><br></div><div>I think at some level, the jealousy aspect and the idea that we are getting away with something (not paying through the nose for living quarters being one), irks some people for sure. And of course, the powers that be want us all to be in one spot where we are handing out portions of our checks to them each month. It keeps us docile and obedient ... controllable.</div><div><br></div><div>In my experience, I get away with it as long as I explain that this is something I just want to try out. Anytime, I can always go back to an apartment. But what I don't tell them is I don't plan to, anymore. As long as I am moving forward with my plans to get larger and larger vehicles, .... yo ho ho, the Pirate's life for me!</div><div><br></div><div><br></div><div>Anyway, it's my 2 cents. Gotta stop yakking now. <img src="/images/boards/smilies/biggrin.gif" border="0" align="absmiddle"></div>

 

[Guest]

I told my mom I'm buying a camper n running away lol...

 

[lampliter]

Give them this---<br><br>Whose woods these are I think I know.<br>His house is in the village though;<br>He will not see me stopping here.<br>To watch his woods fill up with snow.<br>My little horse must think it queer<br>To stop without a farmhouse near<br>Between the woods and frozen lake<br>The darkest evening of the year.<br>He gives his harness bells a shake<br>To ask if there is some mistake.<br>The only other sound's the sweep<br>Of easy wind and downy flake.<br>The woods are lovely, dark and deep.<br>But I have promises to keep,<br>And miles to go before I sleep, <br>And miles to go before I sleep.<br><br>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; Robert Frost<br>

 

[bobbert]

The jealousy aspect has been covered before, but I thought I'd share a few things the other postings have triggered in me.<div><br></div><div>In my experience, I get away with it as long as <b><u>I explain that this is something I just want to try out. Anytime, I can always go back to an apartment.</u></b> But what I don't tell them is I don't plan to, anymore. As long as I am moving forward with my plans to get larger and larger vehicles, .... yo ho ho, the Pirate's life for me!</div><div><br></div><div><br></div><div>Anyway, it's my 2 cents. Gotta stop yakking now. <img src="/images/boards/smilies/biggrin.gif" border="0" align="absmiddle"></div>

<div><br></div><div><font size="5">Excellent way &amp; method to go about telling someone!</font></div>