How do you deal with gift giving during the holidays?

[gypsychic]

I was thinking about this topic several weeks ago and I'm surprised it come up already. Due to this thread and from following Bob's recent blog posts I'm curious how others handle the gift giving protocol during the holidays. Either whether you consider yourself a minimalist or just for practical reasons that you have limited space to put things.

My family does not take kindly to lists or any sort of guidance. The attitude is You get what I want to get for you and you'd better be grateful. They view it as following tradition but I view it differently. I've tried to opt out several times and it's not well received. Take for example an Easter from my adolescence. I had gained some weight rather rapidly one year. Being that I was a teenager and no longer believed that the Easter Bunny delivered my easter basket to me, I asked for make-up instead of candy. I thought it was practical, the candy wouldn't go to waste (or my waist) and I would find value in what was given to me. Nope, I received candy in my basket, same as every year and a lecture. I don't understand.

I'm not looking necessarily for solutions to help navigate my own family's traditions. I'm just curious how other people celebrate and whether they chose to participate in gift giving traditions.

Thanks for sharing.

GypsyChic

 

[Kevin H]

Most all of our family are middle age adults now. We talked and agreed to no gifts. We make donations in each other's names. Works out great - no pressure and everyone is happy.

If someone insists on giving a gift, tell them the best thing they could give is cash or gift cards.

If we were to receive gifts from someone, hopefully it would be something we could use. If not, return to store, sell or give it away. Lots of people don't understand this lifestyle and the concept of minimalism. Most often gift giving is really about the giver feeling fulfilled. Tell them thanks and do with it what you want.

 

[VanLifeCrisis]

Gift receiving? it doesnt happen for me anyway beyond an occassional food item token. We had a secret santa thing at work and i got gloves and ski mask i still use like 5 years later, but 2 people cried they couldnt afford it so they stopped. there was no min gift, they coulda bought a dollar store mug. some people.
i usually am a generous giver but this year, i just cant splurge like that so its the 'thought counts' gifts from uncle marty this year lol

i believe in carefully tailoring gifts to the person if possible, it shows how much you know or consider them

 

[Reducto]

My family stopped making a big deal out of holidays a few years back. Between the travel, in-laws not getting along, and the fact that we're all adults with money it just became too stressful. It's a pretty terrible time to visit them anyway with crowded roads and airports combined with bad weather.

Now I just call home for the holidays. In the spring or fall I'll spend a week or more with my parents. The weather is good so I can help around the house or we can go out and do things. Much better than 2 days for thanksgiving and 2 days for xmas.

We do give lots of gifts but only when the perfect thing comes up, not because we're supposed to on a particular date.

 

[SternWake]

For me Xmas is about spending time with the family. I dislike receiving gifts and I despise shopping for them, and I get annoyed with the whole commercialization of the holiday.

I get really annoyed with Xmas music in grocery stores, not so much at the music itself, but the intent behind pumping it in there.

So I'm a grinch, Nobody gets Nuttin, and nobody gets me nuttin, and thats how I want it.

Everybody else can fund a wasteful consumer economy , buying disposable chinese crap.

Bahhumbug

 

[Theadyn]

For me Xmas is about spending time with the family. I dislike receiving gifts and I despise shopping for them, and I get annoyed with the whole commercialization of the holiday.

I get really annoyed with Xmas music in grocery stores, not so much at the music itself, but the intent behind pumping it in there.

So I'm a grinch, Nobody gets Nuttin, and nobody gets me nuttin, and thats how I want it.

Everybody else can fund a wasteful consumer economy , buying disposable chinese crap.

Bahhumbug

^^ that haha!!

My family is hit or miss... one year it is dirty santa type, then they turn around and say nothing this year, still waiting on the final word.

My daughter, on the other hand, is getting pressured from her other family to buy, buy, buy.. and they can least afford it. It's stressing her out something terrible. I've been helping her come up with creative homemade gifts. She knows I don't want anything. Her boyfriends family isn't so bad. But it's her real dad's family is the 'buy everyone something' type. I mean really!! The grandparents are 70 and don't need for crap! I feel the meaning is so lost out there.

And going into stores is just pure TORTURE!! for me. I hate shopping with a purple passion to begin with, but now, argh!!! I'm with Stern on this one, Bahumbug!

 

[rvwandering]

I used to love Christmas when everyone in my extended family had young kids and no one was making very much money. It was easy to buy stuff for the kids because they didn't have a ton of toys. Toys were made in the US,they were well made and not that expensive. Now all of the young kids have rooms that look like toy stores. They have so much junk that they don't even play with. We still have a few kids that we buy presents for and it's tough to come up with anything.

We all decided early on that the adults won't exchange presents so that made everything pretty easy. The only adults that received presents at family get togethers were our parents. Since we've been traveling if somebody still wants to buy us a present we've asked for edible things or books that can be passed along after we're finished reading them.

 

[mockturtle]

Amazon.

 

[GotSmart]

My kids got money, and debt forgiven. I had better get a phone call.

I do not know where I will be this year, but I will be having a KFC pot pie for a splurge if I have to buy it early and warm it with the camp stove.

 

[Terry]

Xmass suks since my oldest died and even more so since my wife passed. My last son has a step family that I'm just getting to know. All I ask in the way of a present is for them to quit smoking cigarettes. Although I do love anything they would happen to get me, it's generally something I don't need. Being they are relatively new to me as well as being over 200 miles away, I do try to get them a $20 gift card. I have a brother that I'm trying to become "family" with that I'll probably treat to a meal out somewhere. That's all for me.

 

[Patrick46]

I'm pretty much a Bah-Humbug kinda person.

I think this holiday is way over the top, (plus I have no religious affiliations)

I AM gonna ride in the local "Bykes for Tykes" run, which is a motorcycle ride that raises money for buying bicycles for underprivileged kids during the Holiday season.

but I do enjoy my grown kids & the Grandkids, so I look foreward to hangin' out with all of them.

If it's halfway nice out, we'll have one of our big bonfires in the backyard....those are always fun!!!

 

[Almost There]

The adult children that matter to me are on the other side of the continent so a phone call is it and then not on Christmas day itself since none of us celebrate it from a religious standpoint.

My mother used a pity card this year and guilted me into being there for the day (it's 4 to 5 hours of driving round trip). If the neighbor and daughter are coming for dinner, I'll cook a turkey for us, otherwise she gets roast chicken. I refuse to haul a turkey both ways (her dinner plate is a half full sandwich plate).

Last year I managed to escape family dysfunctional xmas celebrations by going to Florida for 3 weeks...I'm putting that vacation money towards the van improvements this year so no escape for me.

There is nothing that mom needs at 88 and she's housebound so she doesn't shop for me. I'm buying myself my much needed satellite phone for a solstice gift for me and calling it good!!

 

[LeeRevell]

I don't know from "Xmas"..... That isn't a holiday.
My immediate family does do Christmas, just the four of us. Myself, Mom, Sister and BIL. Gifts are kept to a decent minimum, and not too expensive. We have a nice family dinner. We don't watch the Christmas drivel on telly. Too commercialized. Fortunately this year the Christmas music on the radio seems more subdued and less 'in your face' than prior years.

 

[gypsychic]

Gift receiving?

LOL You are correct Sir

i believe in carefully tailoring gifts to the person if possible, it shows how much you know or consider them

My thought exactly

Now I just call home for the holidays. In the spring or fall I'll spend a week or more with my parents. The weather is good so I can help around the house or we can go out and do things. Much better than 2 days for thanksgiving and 2 days for xmas.

We do give lots of gifts but only when the perfect thing comes up, not because we're supposed to on a particular date.

That sounds like a great way to do it. Much more quality time and less stress also.

For me Xmas is about spending time with the family...I get annoyed with the whole commercialization of the holiday.

I get really annoyed with Xmas music in grocery stores, not so much at the music itself, but the intent behind pumping it in there.

I hear ya

My kids got money, and debt forgiven. I had better get a phone call.

I do not know where I will be this year, but I will be having a KFC pot pie for a splurge if I have to buy it early and warm it with the camp stove.

I hope you get that phone call while you're enjoying that pot pie warmed on the camp stove and looking over beautiful scenery!

Xmass suks since my oldest died and even more so since my wife passed. My last son has a step family that I'm just getting to know. I have a brother that I'm trying to become "family" with that I'll probably treat to a meal out somewhere.

It can be a hard time of year. I'm sorry for your loss. Holidays can reopen old wounds. I'm glad you have some family to spend it with.

I AM gonna ride in the local "Bykes for Tykes" run, which is a motorcycle ride that raises money for buying bicycles for underprivileged kids during the Holiday season.

but I do enjoy my grown kids & the Grandkids, so I look foreward to hangin' out with all of them.

If it's halfway nice out, we'll have one of our big bonfires in the backyard....those are always fun!!!

Sounds like a great a great cause. Bonfires and motorcycle rides. Sounds like a great way to celebrate, even if it may be untraditional.

My mother used a pity card this year and guilted me into being there for the day (it's 4 to 5 hours of driving round trip). If the neighbor and daughter are coming for dinner, I'll cook a turkey for us, otherwise she gets roast chicken. I refuse to haul a turkey both ways (her dinner plate is a half full sandwich plate).

I'm buying myself my much needed satellite phone for a solstice gift for me and calling it good!!

So hear you with regard to the pity card and understand about the turkey/chicken thing. It's something I bring up when talking about holiday food but I'm usually outvoted. This year I said I wasn't cooking (I usually do most if not all the cooking). I'll be amused if we go smaller this year.

Sounds like a great present for yourself.

Happy Holidays to all, however you choose to celebrate or not. May you spend this time of year with people you hold dear and in ways that fit your life and values as they are today.

GypsyChic

 

[Ballenxj]

When people push the subject and ask what I want for Christmas right after I told them I don't celebrate it, I tell them all I want is for them to hush up about it. You should see the looks on their faces.
I may further explain that I don't wish to celebrate it because people have bastardized the meaning by making it a commercial holiday.