Hello!

[MT RV Dreamer]

Hello! Just wanted to introduce myself and say 'hello'. This is my first forum membership so please bear with me if I'm rambling or out of context. Have so much on my mind and am so excited and encouraged by what I read from everyone. 

A bit about me...I am a very happily married momma of 2 with 2 grand babies and 2 dogs. My dream of RV living started a few years back when the bottom fell out and my husband's employer of 16 years went belly up. It was extremely difficult as you might imagine. We had to sell our house at a loss which totally wiped out our sons college fund and maxed our credit cards. I was ready to live full time in our truck, workout and take showers at the Y, and save every dime we could. 

My husband, being old school and wanting to provide for me in the traditional sense, sent me to live with family in AK and he went to work in the oil fields of ND. After 9 months of being apart I had had enough. I didnt spend 25 years of my life loving a man that I could no longer share my daily life with because of money. So I moved back to MT. I had the perfect opportunity to try stealthy living at that point but I chickened out as I got quite a bit of pushback from my family, but it was I that made the decision not to and I do regret it.

 So I found an 800sf house that we could afford to live in together. Much smaller than our previous 2900sf house and I love the simplicity of it.Things now are very good work wise for us, but I have no delusions the bottom could fall out again and I still dream of living the nomadic lifestyle and may one day be brave enough to put my foot down and make him help my dream come true.

 I was told I was insane and that it could not and should not be done, and I truly thought at the time that I must be crazy, no one else thinks this way...and then I found CRVL and I found my tribe! I spend time on here every day reading your stories, smiling, dreaming, and planning. Its definitely not a have-to for us any longer, but the dream of being free of the confinements and conventions and being the master of my life call to me every day. I want so badly to break the chains of status quo of 'what I should do' or 'what people expect me to do'. If things go belly up for us again it may be the most wonderful thing that could happen as I would be free, and I wouldnt chicken out again now that I've found the encouragement in these posts and Bob's blogs. I will be making strides and start slowly, so I dont complete lose my family, and I'll start living in a van for a few months at a time, I'm hoping to start next summer. 
Please keep posting your wonderful stories and safe travels!

 

[ArtW]

may one day be brave enough to put my foot down and make him help my dream come true.r. 
Please keep posting your wonderful stories and safe travels!

Do not do this
he will resent you for the rest of your lives
Welcome to CRVL, we're always glad to have new members, but you have to remember that YOUR dream may not be HIS dream
I think you'll find very few folk on here willing to encourage 'forcing' your spouse to do anything, and in any case, you don't 'force' someone you love to do anything
If you want the nomadic life, please find a path to it that does not involve the enslavement of others

 

[BobBski]

Welcome and wish you all the best.

 

[rvpopeye]

Welcome aboard Dreamer!
I wish you success finding a way to live your dream and many Happy Trails.
If there's anything you need to find out along the way , ask the tribe.

 

[MT RV Dreamer]

Do not do this
he will resent you for the rest of your lives
Welcome to CRVL, we're always glad to have new members, but you have to remember that YOUR dream may not be HIS dream
I think you'll find very few folk on here willing to encourage 'forcing' your spouse to do anything, and in any case, you don't 'force' someone you love to do anything
If you want the nomadic life, please find a path to it that does not involve the enslavement of others

I definitely get where you're coming from as I have not enjoyed being placed in that 'enslavement' situation you speak of and told not to do what I've wanted to do, I can completely understand that and I dont want to place him in that position, very good point. However, I love him very much so I've viewed what he wants to do as something I do for him because I want him to be happy. And I would hope he would view being a nomad with me the same way, that he would go with me because he loves me and wants to help me achieve my dreams in life as much as I hope I've helped him achieve his. Marriage is a give and take and I would hope that my dreams would mean as much to him as his do to me. I appreciate the feedback and will take that to heart and keep it in mind as I move forward.

 

[rvwandering]

Welcome to the CRVL forums Dreamer! We have a few married or otherwise committed couples who do not travel together due to non interest by one half of the couple. They make it work! Tell your husband how you feel. He may surprise you and agree to try it out or you may be able to satisfy your need to travel by taking sort trips on your own. Good luck with all of your plans and decisions!

To help you learn the ins and outs of these forums, this "Tips & Tricks" post lists some helpful information to get you started. We look forward to hearing more from you.

 

[ArtW]

yes, Marriage is a give and take, or should be, and all I meant was not to force it on him
Maybe you can start out part timing, then get him part timing, and he might see the wisdom of the lifestyle
And he might, if you explain to him the way you have here, listen more (or maybe you already did this, I don't know)
If my spouse put it to me that way, I'd at least give it a try, In fact I changed my entire life around to suit her repeatedly and she was still never happy, and some of my own resentment for that might color the way I read your post
Which sort of illustrates my point
Our marriage was give and take, but mostly I gave and she took
So I know all about spousal resentment, and i encourage you to not only to put it to him as you did to me, but to show him my posts, because the resentment thing goes both ways, too
if he can't find understanding for your wishes, you will grow to resent him, unless you each allow each other the freedom you both need
I sincerely hope the two of you can find a compromise, or you can convince, not force, him to give your dream a change
you might mention that nomads generally have to work less, hehehe
or at least so i'm told

 

[renovader]

 You had a pair of kids, grandkids, dogs but only one husband which is good

You have gone small once, you can do it again. I went from almost 1600 sqft to 600 sqft. The RV is roughly 170 sqft which may be a challenge but I can do it. The secret of course is to use the shelter when you need to and enjoy the outdoor life. It tells your RV neighbors you are sociable. Good luck and above all else, have fun.
-=Mike=-