Healing

[skyl4rk]

If you were going to try to recover from 20 years of stressful work in a hostile work environment, would you head out to some remote place or would you try to find a social situation?

I am thinking about 40 days and 40 nights at the top of a mountain or alone in a desert somewhere.  Maybe work through some issues, although I don't know if solitude really helps anything.  I really want to be around nice, fun people, but I may need some time to become human again. 

 

[Magicwolf]

Why not maybe some of both, if it suits your personality?

I understand and know exactly how you feel. I plan to allot myself some solitude time to try and re-orient my thinking again when I escap....err, leave my current job, but I'd be okay with the occasional social situation with the right folks also. "Non-hostile" being key.

Do initially what you feel in your gut that you need to. You will be free and the great thing is you can always adjust your own plans as needed.

 

[GrantRobertson]

If you were going to try to recover from 20 years of stressful work in a hostile work environment, would you head out to some remote place or would you try to find a social situation?

I would go where there are a few, like-minded, people, all out in the wilderness, who will understand if you need to take a day or two completely on your own, yet welcome you back when you step out of the woods or step out of your van.

Perhaps some place like Bob's camp.

I'm sure that is exactly why he always invites people to join him there.

 

[akrvbob]

No one can answer that for you, but my first thought would be that stressed-out people caused your stress, so the way to heal from it would be to get away from stressed-out people.

I've found that getting into nature and allowing it to change me is what works for me.

There is also a surprisingly large community of vandwellers out here who have already lost their stress. Being around relaxed people will help you relax and feel more safe and secure.
Bob

 

[CrazySister]

I am finding I need more time in solitude, be it doing something constructive or simply regrouping myself. I am looking at alone time in my van as recharging my batteries so when I am around people I can enjoy them and the time together. Honestly alone is so comfortable and healing for me I could get addicted to it. Hope you find the balance that is right for you.

 

[akrvbob]

No one can answer that for you, but my first thought would be that stressed-out people caused your stress, so the way to heal from it would be to get away from stressed-out people.

I've found that getting into nature and allowing it to change me is what works for me.

There is also a surprisingly large community of vandwellers out here who have already lost their stress. Being around relaxed people will help you relax and feel more safe and secure.

Come on in--the water is fine!
Bob

 

[raygun]

I love being alone. I work on the phone all day dealing with some super-nice and some super-crabby people. Unfortunately the super-crabby ones are the people that stand out to me. I like to go for a drive out in nature either by myself or with my dog if I need to de-stress. I will say, 40 days and 40 nights alone sounds tempting but you may get lonely and crave some human contact. I agree with Bob. Spending time with like-minded non-stressed out people might just be exactly what you need. Good luck!

 

[gypsychic]

As others have said, it depends on what feels right to you. A clue might be if you know whether you are an introvert or extrovert. Introverts get there batteries recharged by spending time alone while extroverts get their batteries charged by being around other people. The opposite of each side takes energy to cope with. I am a strong introvert and being around others takes energy that I can recharge when I'm alone. That doesn't mean I don't like to be around people, I do. I know extroverts who like the energy and vibrancy of a crowd. That's how they recharge. The same energy drains me.

I read a great description on this forum not to long ago that was a pretty classic example. The husband was saying he gets pumped up from showing off their vehicle to others and answering questions while his wife just wants to take a nap by the end.

I agree that nature is healing. I would venture to guess it's healing for everyone. Sunshine is a great disinfectant, both literally and figuratively.

Along with whatever mix of solitude and people you decide to prescribe yourself, also help to facilitate your healing by being gentle with yourself as things come up. Good food and clean water help to heal the body and the body and mind are intimately connected.

Good luck on your healing journey.

Peace & love to you.

 

[Almost There]

When I need to recharge it's not a question of whether I'm with other people or not because I can always wander off on my own or go take a nap or do something that is of a solitary nature like read a book. I can be alone in the middle of a crowd if need be.

I need good healthy food and exercise, lots of it. Doesn't matter if it's paddling a canoe/kayak or hiking. Hours and hours of exercise combined with fresh air, good scenery and most of all, no ongoing stress around me.

It's like a detox diet for me.

Although 40 days and 40 nights in the wilderness sounds wonderful, I don't think I could pack enough fresh food and water to last that long. Maybe try for 7 nights at a time, restock and do another set.

 

[marigold]

I recommend trusting your instinct above all else. There are many ways to heal! Are you looking for a rebirth by fire or loving embrace kind of healing? Are you wanting to reconnect with yourself or with others? Are you wanting to feel high and triumphant or safe and sound? Deserts are incredibly healing, very safe, but they can be harsh. It is that harshness that promotes new growth and helps to shed what's old. Being at the top of a mountain is a different feel, more of an accomplishment and somewhat lonelier, being higher than the rest. Mountains are very inspiring. What sounds best?

I've always found that solo time in nature is one of the most rejuvenating things I can do for myself. I take a solo every so often over the years when I need a reboot, my very first one was in the desert at age 14! They say 40 days is what it takes to jumpstart a new habit, but it's also a pretty long time to be alone. It could be a very incredible experience to do something like that, make sure you push through at least one low point, and also trust your gut about to be done.

Good luck!

 

[flying kurbmaster]

So my options are 40 days in exile, or hanging with nice, fun people....lets see??? ahhhhh do these fun nice people have ice cream?? :s  

 

[SoulRaven]

I enjoy going to the van and RV rallies. Lots of like minded people, yet I can spend as much time in my van alone as I like as well. Perfect combination.

 

[skyl4rk]

I don't really need the spirit quest thing of 40 days, it just sounds kind of interesting. You might walk down from the mountain as an enlightened being, or as a lunatic.

Probably a week away from work, with no big responsibilities would get me into a state of being able to be kind to others. Right now I am conditioned into being a growling raccoon backed into a corner, and I am looking to become a kind, graceful person with ability to have insight into things and people. There must be a better way to communicate at a higher level with people, I hope to find it.

A strong dose of nature and open spaces are definitely needed. Solitude, maybe a day or a few hours now and then would be enough.

I am counting down the months until I will be able to have some free time, and if done right, I could turn it into permanent free time away from work.

 

[cdiggy]

I disappear regularly and, for me, three weeks seems to be my limit. I did 25 days inside Grand Canyon with a reapply of food at phantom ranch. After 7 days alone I looked forward to the 'civilization' that the ranch supplied. Being totally alone for days at a time in the beautiful places like GC really does seem to cleanse the soul.

 

[HarmonicaBruce]

If you were going to try to recover from 20 years of stressful work in a hostile work environment, would you head out to some remote place or would you try to find a social situation?

I've been tempted to just go off in the woods, or go live in a cave, or whatever, so I could get away from people.  People are idiots, so much so that I'm embarrassed to be human.  But, I realize we are social beings, we are designed to be social and we don't function correctly in solitude.  I guess one can socialize via the internet.  But on the internet, for whatever reason, there is name-calling, insulting, such as would never occur in person.  So my advice is find a social situation where people are happy.  Florida is good, as there are many retired people and people on vacation. I'm a big fan of music festivals, as music enables me to stop thinking for awhile.      

 

[cdiggy]

Isolation breeds depression in a lot of people. I enjoy the solitude but only to a certain extent. They say happiness is only real if shared. Don't know if that is true or not but it works for me. I don't know how people can be hermits for so long without going bat shit crazy after a while. Some people can do it though and actually prefer it.

 

[flying kurbmaster]

I don't really need the spirit quest thing of 40 days, it just sounds kind of interesting.  You might walk down from the mountain as an enlightened being, or as a lunatic.  

Probably a week away from work, with no big responsibilities would get me into a state of being able to be kind to others.  Right now I am conditioned into being a growling raccoon backed into a corner, and I am looking to become a kind, graceful person with ability to have insight into things and people.  There must be a better way to communicate at a higher level with people, I hope to find it.

A strong dose of nature and open spaces are definitely needed.  Solitude, maybe a day or a few hours now and then would be enough.

I am counting down the months until I will be able to have some free time, and if done right, I could turn it into permanent free time away from work.

Skylark I think you are already very insightful, obviously something is bothering you or just happened and you want to change, which also makes you kind, you are expecting a lot if you think you can fix 20 years of conditioning in 40 days of isolation, patience. No man is an Island, you need other people to guide you on a new path, people who have been there, just keep asking.  That saying you can't teach an old dog new tricks is Bullshit, people are constantly changing, I think you are on your way now that you have acknowledged an issue. It will happen if you keep your toes pointing towards it. Happy trails ... 

 

[dragonflyinthesky]

I've been out alone traveling for 2 weeks come tomorrow. Part of the time alone, now I'm at the little Florida gathering. Enough room to get away from others and the opportunity to be with others. Couldn't ask for anything more. I have been loosing my stress but I do still have business obligations via the pc and phone. I will be happy when I can sweep those under the carpet, I dread hearing the phone and checking emails.
I know why people sometimes just loose it and take off.
I have taken better care of myself as far as exercise and food goes than I have in a long while.

I walk and run my dogs several times a day, shoot the bull with the other campers, go take a nap when I want to. I now think I will live. It feels good to not wake up worrying about what all haven't finished.

I hope you are able to get away for as long as you need to clear your head and sooth your soul.

 

[mockturtle]

Solitude works for me but it's not for everyone.

 

[SoulRaven]

I thought I'd be wanting to get away from civilization so long as I maintained communications and internet access. Nature and solitude does wonders for me. However, I happened to stumble upon a really positive community that did wonders for me in other ways, and decided to stay. For now.

I think you won't really know what your healing path needs until you begin to embark on it. My advice would be to try some of this, some of that, feel out what different options do for you. Some people find that committing to a certain experiment for a particular length of time works well for them; I personally find that healing is a delicate process which requires immense respect for intuition and the flexibility to follow wherever it leads.