God Help Me!!!

[Lifes a Peach]

Hello, I left my dwelling 2 days ago to try living in my 2016 Dodge Grand Caravan. I tried first to go to a campground in my state but it started raining and I mean down pour 6 inches in 35-40 minutes. It was humid and i was trapped! I completely lost my mind and instead of sticking it out I left. When I got to the nearest town water had taken the roads over! I just drove through it (stupid I know) but everyone else was. It rained almost the whole way back to where I originally lived.
What is wrong with me? Is what I kept asking myself. I have to get a bigger van that I van move around in. All I kept telling myself is I’m a failure, an *****, and loser.
I like being outside with nature, listening to leaves blowing and wind blowing, a chance to maybe see wildlife.

Help in Missouri (MISERY)

 

[Camper]

God will help you, but you have to do your part also. Best wishes.

 

[WanderingRose]

Living in a vehicle requires flexibility, the ability to pivot and punt, to think on your feet, process information and problem solve sometimes quickly.

I sat out the remnants of a hurricane a few years ago, in the highest ground I could find. We were safe, we were dry, we waited it out and moved on the next day.

I would say that you were not quite ready for this, and the universe spoke loudly and clearly, giving you a smack down and sending you back from whence you came.

Tho this felt awful for you, there was no harm but that to your ego and self esteem, so it could have been much worse.

So, take some time to regroup and try again, if you really want to do this.

But if it does not feel right, if you can’t overcome your fear, perhaps this is not for you.

And, that is okay, too.

Good luck.

 

[maki2]

There is nothing wrong with you. You just did not like feeling vulnerable. Most people don’t like being in severe weather.

Maybe it is good you found out early on what it is like to be in a bad storm inside a vehicle. Now you can make an informed decision about some of the worst of what the lifestyle can throw at you.

 

[john*thomas]

Living in a van is not easy. It's why I do not do it full time (and understand I am lucky to have the option). The one thing that helps me when things aren't great it telling myself it will soon be 6 months from today and what I thought was bad really isn't in hindsight.

 

[Morgana]

Not sure I'm reading you right. Was this (1) an experimental trip (your first) and you still have a sticks-and-bricks to go back to? Or (2) are you now stuck living in the van and it seems awful and impossible? I think it's #1, right?

If #1, then call it a resounding success because you learned some important things. Also, trust me, somewhere between approximately 6 and 15 months from now, you will be laughing about it.

If #2, then you've got way more important things to do right now than beat yourself up; focus on survival.
Actually, if #1, then you've still got way more important things to do right now than beat yourself up.

And now you know how tempting it is to drive through a flooded road, so you're prepared and you will NEVER EVER DO THAT AGAIN EVEN IF EVERYONE ELSE DOES, RIGHT?

If you hate it, it's OK to drop it. If you're still intrigued, then slow way down and take it one step at a time. Sometimes the stuff that's hardest at first is most fun in the long run. Plan the cr@p out of it next time. Some people talk about setting up the exact-size space in their living room and seeing if they can live within it. Check the weather report. Find a buddy to camp with. Read some how-to books and websites. The more you fail the more you learn, you know.

Good luck whatever you do!

 

[jacqueg]

Hello, I left my dwelling 2 days ago to try living in my 2016 Dodge Grand Caravan. I tried first to go to a campground in my state but it started raining and I mean down pour 6 inches in 35-40 minutes. It was humid and i was trapped! I completely lost my mind and instead of sticking it out I left. When I got to the nearest town water had taken the roads over! I just drove through it (stupid I know) but everyone else was. It rained almost the whole way back to where I originally lived.
What is wrong with me? Is what I kept asking myself. I have to get a bigger van that I van move around in. All I kept telling myself is I’m a failure, an *****, and loser.
I like being outside with nature, listening to leaves blowing and wind blowing, a chance to maybe see wildlife.

Help in Missouri (MISERY)

Nothing is WRONG with you. You have learned that you weren't quite ready. That's OK, and it is easily remedied. First of all, since you apparently do have a sticks & bricks to go back to, just spend some time camping in the driveway / back yard. If I'm misunderstanding you, and you don't have a sticks & bricks, find a friend and ask to camp out in their driveway. Or - just try a campground again in better weather.

Calling yourself names won't help a bit. So discipline yourself to not do it. When you are tempted to do it, just remind yourself that you were under-prepared, which is something that is easily fixed. It's not a permanent condition, like being born stupid. (Which I'm quite sure you're not.)

Now personally, I like my cargo van. But plenty of folks are full-time in their Dodge Caravans and prefer them. Don't be in a rush to replace your vehicle. Repeat after me: IT ISN'T THE VEHICLE THAT MAKES IT FUN. If you enjoy camping, you'll enjoy it on a bicycle with two panniers and a tarp. If you don't like camping, even the fanciest rig won't take away your desire to be back in a sticks & bricks. Give yourself a little time.

BTW, tell us about your vehicle and your general set-up. And welcome to the gang!

 

[rruff]

Sorry about your rude introduction to van living! That's a harsh one. You didn't make a mistake and you definitely aren't a failure unless you quit. You'll figure it out, I'm sure.

I don't have any advice, and you didn't ask for any... but I thought I'd share a story of my first winter living in my truck way back in '90 I think. I was in southern CA and I had it scoped pretty well. Found a nice place to park with a great view where I could park at night; it was in an abandoned luxury home development. Got my health club membership. Had an unfortunate encounter with the sheriff, but that ended well. Made a few friends. All was good... and then it started raining. Day after day, all day. Mud everywhere. Not exactly what I was expecting, but I could deal. Then I got the flu from hell... which was challenging. Coming out both ends with a vengeance. Note, I was in a wee pickup with a wee camper shell, packed with two bicycles inside, a bunch of equipment and tools, and all my other worldly belongings. There was just a small empty space where I could crawl in and sleep. No toilet or washing facilities or anything. I moved my truck to a different spot where I could hide better. My days and nights were spent trying to sleep and failing, getting up and going outside frequently to spew fluids from some orifice, getting more soaking wet and cold, and more dehydrated, crawling back into the truck and into my wet sleeping bag, repeat. What a mess! It was just a few days though, and I survived and the sun eventually came out, and all was well and beautiful again.

I tried different places, but eventually settled on the area around Yuma as my favorite winter spot. Hardly ever rains there and it's the warmest place in the west. Very beautiful rocks formations north of town close to the CO river. Summers I'd go into the mountains. If you stick to the Cascades and northern Rockies it hardly rains in the summer, yet everything is green from winter rains.

Being out in nature all year is pretty awesome when you can move around and explore and find your favorite spots. Best wishes!

 

[Frood]

There is a reason why the guide has it "inscribed in large friendly letters on its cover." it is the most important (and most accurate) advice you will ever get for any possible situation. We all forget it at times though. We are only humans after all.

 

[abnorm]

DON'T PANIC

 

[Texas Gypsy]

What you describe reminds me of a PTSD response

 

[RoamerRV428]

What is wrong with me? Is what I kept asking myself. I have to get a bigger van that I van move around in. All I kept telling myself is I’m a failure, an *****, and loser.

Help in Missouri (MISERY)

Not a darn thing wrong with you.....far from a failure, ***** and loser on this one....cut yourself a bit break here please

Yes you may need a bigger vehicle if you feel you were trapped in a small one. It just shows it might be time to consider what you do need to be on the road more comfortable? Just take time to think it over, you will be fine I am sure! Best of luck moving forward as you need!

 

[rruff]

Yes you may need a bigger vehicle if you feel you were trapped in a small one.

Maybe... but I suspect the trapped feeling is an amalgamation of many things that won't be solved by more space.

Didn't we all experience some fear and trepidation about such a big change? I my case it was mostly prior to taking off. The timing was right though, and I absolutely loved it once I hit the road. But there were challenges! Very first night I damn near flipped my truck (not exaggerating, it was on 2 wheels) while getting too adventurous on a trail. A couple weeks in, my water pump started leaking while I was deep in the boonies. Things happen. If you tend to worry or fret it will take a while to adapt to such a life.

 

[BelgianPup]

Look... You started a different life and got into a bad situation. It was different. It was scary. You weren't sure of your options. But you were able to get out of it without harm. FANTASTIC!

VanLife is a learn-as-you-go experience. Really! Nothing permanently bad happened. You learned a few things. GREAT!

And you'll be learning more with every move or change you make. WEATHER is a big deal when you're living in a vehicle. Always check the longer-range weather report. Don't go to high elevations when there's a possibility of snow. Choose high ground if heavier rain is a possibility. Heat requires shade and some air movement. Weather is variable, so be prepared. Store some water and food and TP onboard for surprises.

Read much? If not, pick up the habit. It's good for killing time. Puzzle books. How-To books. Travel books. Fiction. If talking cats sound fun, check out the Joe Grey books.

Just remember that you DON'T know everything about everything, all the time, under all circumstances. No one does. It's a whole different life!

 

[Morgana]

 

[Willow4303]

Hello! I am fairly new to living in an RV full-time, and still feel trepidation about some things. I think it's great that you went with your instincts. As others pointed out, it was a learning experience and you're safe. Those are good things!

I believe I've only traveled about 3500 miles in my home on wheels so far and I really dislike driving in the wind!! I have done most of that driving in Colorado, New Mexico, and Arizona; all three tend to have areas that are constantly windy. I slow to a safe speed (one that allows me to control the rig easily) and focus on the things that I love about living in a home on wheels--the beauty of the landscape, the freedom to change the view out my windows any time I choose, and having a few things that I enjoy with me where-ever I go.

While being flexible is a must for living on wheels, planning is something that I find calming . . . and by planning, I mean planning the route (and back-up routes) I'm going to take, making sure I have stocked up on what I need, inspecting my rig, topping off fuel and propane, and ensuring I have a few things to keep me entertained inside the rig during rainy days/weeks.

Soon I will be heading to South Dakota and Wyoming--also windy drives, LOL. But I've planned for everything that I know how to plan for, and sought the advice of the wonderful folks in this forum about driving those mountain roads . . . For me, that bit of preparation has me ready to hit the road when my departure date gets here.

Be kind and patient with yourself during the learning process, I'm guessing no one here knew everything they needed to know when they first made the transition to living on wheels full-time. Be safe!

 

[sithigh]

God will help you, but you have to do your part also. Best wishes.

I choose to believe that means the weather may be favorable for the crops you planted and watered in the soil you previously prepared for it. It does not mean "Jesus take the wheel" is anything but foolish. Giving up often makes failure certain.

 

[sithigh]

Hello, I left my dwelling 2 days ago to try living in my 2016 Dodge Grand Caravan. I tried first to go to a campground in my state but it started raining and I mean down pour 6 inches in 35-40 minutes. It was humid and i was trapped! I completely lost my mind and instead of sticking it out I left. When I got to the nearest town water had taken the roads over! I just drove through it (stupid I know) but everyone else was. It rained almost the whole way back to where I originally lived.
What is wrong with me? Is what I kept asking myself. I have to get a bigger van that I van move around in. All I kept telling myself is I’m a failure, an *****, and loser.
I like being outside with nature, listening to leaves blowing and wind blowing, a chance to maybe see wildlife.

Help in Missouri (MISERY)

Oh, one more thing. Life is all about making decisions to handle what you get from where you are with what you have. Not replaying a self-deprecating mantra instead of working out how to go forward. Quit beating yourself up over past mistakes and choose to do something that might be good enough.

 

[RonDean]

Something that helps me stay out of trouble is to constantly remind myself that I no longer have to keep anyone else's schedule. Like Willow, I don't particularly appreciate driving in high wind or bad weather, for that matter. So I pull over at the next safe spot when conditions are bad. And pulling out a book is a great pastime. Although I had to downsize my library when I hit the road. I now carry an entire library on my cell phone.

Mistakes and failures? I've made a few. Maybe more than most. But, boy did I learn from them. I figure I must be getting into the genius category after all I've learned from making mistakes. And I've had a bit of fun along the way. Can't ask much more than that.

 

[Cajunwolf]

Hello, I left my dwelling 2 days ago to try living in my 2016 Dodge Grand Caravan. I tried first to go to a campground in my state but it started raining and I mean down pour 6 inches in 35-40 minutes. It was humid and i was trapped! I completely lost my mind and instead of sticking it out I left. When I got to the nearest town water had taken the roads over! I just drove through it (stupid I know) but everyone else was. It rained almost the whole way back to where I originally lived.
What is wrong with me? Is what I kept asking myself. I have to get a bigger van that I van move around in. All I kept telling myself is I’m a failure, an *****, and loser.
I like being outside with nature, listening to leaves blowing and wind blowing, a chance to maybe see wildlife.

Help in Missouri (MISERY)

Rent a full-sized van for a week and see if that's enough room not to feel claustrophobic or trapped when you can't just step out in the open. I wouldn't say I like that either, and I had a Dodge Caravan and loved it, but I wouldn't try to live in one. Too small and too low; you can't stand up. Rent before you buy. A full-sized van for many folks who can and, in some cases, like to live on the bare minimum is okay. I found an older (1988) 27-foot class C motor home about three years ago, and it works for me after I gutted and made it wide open. I was lucky to borrow a full-sized extended Ford E350 from a painting contractor friend; he was selling the van and didn't mind me using it for a couple of weeks. It was empty in all of its voluminous glory until I packed it with my stuff; I mean, it was tolerable for 2 - weeks, but it wore on me if I couldn't go out in the open when inclement weather or the parking situation didn't permit when the walls were closing in on me. I got the motor home for $4000 cash. It was cute as a bug, too—twin beds in the back, over the cab bunk, 4-burner propane stove. Toilet, shower, and I put a new 15k BTU on the roof because I got a deal. It was okay at first, but cramped until I stiped the interior down to basic accommodation for one person, and now I can walk around standing up; life is good. I tow my 2000 Jeep Grand Cherokee 4x4 behind it and most often stay at maw and pop RV parks on a monthly rate. Averages, depending on location and season $350 to $400 per month. I have a 10Kw 400 amp battery bank at 25.6 VDC and 2k watts in solar for boondocking. In other words, @Lifes a Peach, I have a rolling house and car, and you might want to keep your eyes peeled for a good older class C RV because I think you're like me and many others who need a little room in our lives.