Feeling Overwhelmed with Downsizing

[TrainChaser]

XFILE, I'm in W. WA.


AbuelaLoca: "The families that want certain things live many miles away so I either have to deliver it or mail it".

How about THEY pick it up, or THEY pay the shipping? My sister wanted stuff delivered for free. When I told her she could pay for shipping, she didn't seem to want the stuff so much. Works for me!

 

[Suanne]

I just finished downsizing to live full-time out of my Prius. I used several strategies. First I made "piles" -- donate, sell, give away, trash, and keep.

For something to be in the donate pile, it would have value. But, it wouldn't be something that would be easy to sell. Clothing was the primary stuff in this category.

To sell things, I used several marketplaces. eBay for collectables, local Craigslist or Nextdoor for the more expensive items, the Trading Post in this forum for items that directly related to vandwelling, and garage sales for everything else.

I used several methods to give things away. One was through listing items on Craigslist or Nextdoor, another was to put out a free pile at the curb after each garage sale. My favorite way was the free pile at get togethers like the RTR or in Tillamook just recently. Sometimes instead of a free pile after garage sales, I'd donate the leftovers with value to charity.

I didn't put too many things in the trash. Of note, however, were some beloved old photos that I scanned and then trashed. I also scanned and shredded/trashed some important papers.

My keep pile started off much bigger than it ended up. I could only fit so much into a Prius. Most everything I kept is very practical, except for a very small box of momentos. I try to have every item I keep serve more than one purpose. For example, coconut oil can be eaten and used topically. Or, a small tent can be used for storage while being a snowbirds, house a camp guest, or be a second place for me to sleep when my car is being worked on.

I started downsizing several years ago. But, when I went to full time last December, I got rid of the most stuff. The most intense, however, was during the first part of this month when I sorted through and got rid of most everything I had in storage (about 25 square ft).

To say the least it was exhausting emotionally and physically. It did my heart good, however, when something was purchased or given away and I knew that item would be appreciated and used. Mostly I feel relief right now, with a little elation as I turned over the last of my stuff on Sunday.

I've never been responsible for so little.

 

[Whitey]

If your place burned down, what would you go out and buy again today? I'm out of my place and into my van by Friday at noon so I know how you feel.

 

[frater secessus]

It is hard to give away paintings I remember hanging on the walls as a child.   Somehow those memories are harder to let go than all the stuff I simply sent to auction more than 20 years ago.

I have heard that taking a picture of items of sentimental value like that can help let them go (physically).  We can look at the pics again any time we want!  

 

[waldenbound]

I just got rid of some excess books. Books are always the hardest. I'm going to clear off my patio after summer and then I'm pretty much down to what I need in the house for the next 6-9 months. The stuff going in the van is mostly all in the bedroom, the staging area. I'm reluctant to get rid of my power tools right now, even though my van is 100% finished.

 

[MrNoodly]

I've been reading about the Anasazi. Even though they built cities, they were primarily wanderers. When it was time to move on, to go where water and game were, they would burn their homes in sort of ritual of leaving. I can totally relate. I got to the point I was so done with home ownership and everything that goes with it that I could've burned it all down. (Except I needed the money from the sale of the house.)

My parents lived in 23 different homes because Dad was transferred a lot. Mom said, "When it comes to getting rid of stuff, three moves are as good as a fire." Maybe we need more fires -- real or metaphorical -- in our lives, burning it down and starting fresh.

 

[waldenbound]

Interesting about the Anasazi and burning down everything before leaving. Sure would be easier that toting everything to Goodwill!
But yeah, a good metaphorical burn...it's just stuff, mostly stuff we don't really need.

 

[FreeToBe]

I just downsized from a 3400 sf house to a two bedroom apartment.  I decided to have an Estate Sale, which got rid of about 75% of the stuff I didn't and couldn't take with me.  After that, the Estate Sale people knew a guy who came and cleaned out everything left over for a few hundred dollars.  He makes most of his money through selling what's left, but he cleaned everything else totally out, including the trash.

So, I currently only have about 3% or 4% of the stuff I had in my house (maybe even less than that).  Here's the thing:  I don't miss any of what I no longer have and just want to get rid of more (and plan to on my next phase of downsizing).

My recommendation is to have an Estate Sale, if possible, and tell them to sell everything.  They do it without you being there, so you don't have a chance to rescue stuff from the sell.  You'll make a little cash and a lot of things will be gone from your life.  After that, have someone take the rest of it or get a dumpster and start chunking.

I won't say it was an easy process, because it definitely wasn't and very time consuming, but worth it in the end.

For me, the things that I didn't think I could part with and had sentimental attachment to were, come to find out, not important to me in the least.  Just let it all go - you'll feel much lighter and happier in the end.  And, you'll have more time and freedom to focus on the things in life that are most important to you.

 

[CityWoman]

Disentangling our emotions from our stuff can be difficult and overwhelming. That's why there are so many people who make a living helping ssomeone downsize. Sometimes it helps to hire someone who can guide you in making decisions, like a professional organizer. I work with one from time to time, and she has been a blessing! Or you can hire someone to hold an estate sale for you - you'll be surprised at what people will buy! It could behoove you to look into it.

 

[GEAUX- PRIUS Cowboy]

Calculate what it will cost to pay for 2 years storage get that true number then ask yourself is any of this stuff worth X ? Had some friends that decided to travel the world they spent 10 years on that returned to their storage unit and said most of the stuff was so outdated they ended up leaving it they never planned to be traveling that long. They were hobo type travelers they were minimalists.

 

[FreeToBe]

I totally agree about not getting a storage unit, if you can help it.  I thought about it and went to talk to a facility close by.  I realized that for what I would end up paying for one for several months, I could just rebuy the few things from the unit I would use.

It's like a bandaid - it's hard but you just have to rip it off.  Plus, for me, I really, really, needed help to do it (I had a limited amount of time to get out as well).  If I had tried to do it by myself, it would have taken several months, if not years.

 

[DLTooley]

I did several rounds of sorting, and a bunch of selling from the storage unit itself. The cost of the storage unit is a monthly motivation and measure to make those decisions. Ebay and craigslist, as appropriate. Pawn shops may take some smaller garage sale type items. Give the rest away.

 

[Van Man Dave]

I took digital photos of things I was having trouble getting rid of. I figured if I missed that item bad enough, I could look at a photo of it. Digital photos take up no space at all! Surprisingly, I have not looked at any of those photos since taking them.
Own your stuff, don't let it own you! Best wishes during this liberating process!!

 

[A Wing and a Prayer]

Thanks everyone! I was seriously considering hiring an estate seller. Otherwise it is going to take forever. Right now the plan is to take a 3 month or so trip around the u.s. and then decide if I need to have a home base or not. I.am selling my SUV to Carmax since I haven't had luck selling it on my own. I hope to take off next Tuesday. I'm a little nervous but I'll start a new thread about all that.

 

[mpruet]

I'm not sure if you are having to sell your home due to financial reasons or if you just want to downsize.  It also sounds like you are unsure of your future plans and goals.  Maybe you shouldn't make any permanent changes until after your travels.  Perhaps you will have a better idea of your long-term goals then.

 

[FreeToBe]

The only other thing that I'll add to this discussion is that I'm now a few weeks away from the downsizing and don't miss anything that I got rid of (I probably only have 3% to 4% of what I started with).  In fact, I'm looking forward to the next phase of downsizing where I get rid of most of the rest of it.  All that stuff (including the big house and equipment to take care of it) was getting in the way of doing the stuff I really want to do.  It feels like a weight has been lifted from my shoulders (although the house closing keeps getting pushed back, which is adding stress).

 

[A Wing and a Prayer]

I'm not sure if you are having to sell your home due to financial reasons or if you just want to downsize.  It also sounds like you are unsure of your future plans and goals.  Maybe you shouldn't make any permanent changes until after your travels.  Perhaps you will have a better idea of your long-term goals then.

I know for sure I want to get rid of this house. It is much bigger than what I need and I can't see spending so much of my time on upkeep and not to mention the maintenance expense. I'm just not sure yet if I need to have a small home base, which is why I decided to go on an extended trip first. That way if I decide to sell this and get something smaller I will keep some things that I will need in the smaller home. It's mainly time I am trying to free up (although money is also a consideration since I am not working at the moment.) I will be working on starting a business whether I am traveling or staying in one place. I want to be in a position that even if I have to work, I can get away with working part-time so I can spend most of my time on my business, which also happens to be something I love doing.

 

[XFILE36]

The only other thing that I'll add to this discussion is that I'm now a few weeks away from the downsizing and don't miss anything that I got rid of (I probably only have 3% to 4% of what I started with).  In fact, I'm looking forward to the next phase of downsizing where I get rid of most of the rest of it.  All that stuff (including the big house and equipment to take care of it) was getting in the way of doing the stuff I really want to do.  It feels like a weight has been lifted from my shoulders (although the house closing keeps getting pushed back, which is adding stress).

I can so relate to how the stuff gets in the way...good luck with the final count down...I am right behind you. 

 

[mpruet]

I know for sure I want to get rid of this house. It is much bigger than what I need and I can't see spending so much of my time on upkeep and not to mention the maintenance expense.  ...  It's mainly time I am trying to free up (although money is also a consideration ...

OK - understood.  I suspect that most folks will agree that the more stuff you have the more that stuff owns you instead of you owning it.  But still it sounds like you are not in the situation where you have to make an immediate drastic change because you are being kicked out of your home.  So you still might want to try it a bit before committing to it.

I was fortunate.  While I am now retired, I worked for a major software company (IBM).  I always worked from home, but during the summer months I worked from a condo that I own in the Colorado mountains.  My work as a software developer required a lot of bandwidth.  While working from home I had FIOS high speed internet, but in the summer while in Colorado, I only had DSL which was very slow and unreliable.  Things that I did at home in 30 minutes would take over 6 hours in Colorado. The last year of my career, I lived in an RV in Houston with even weaker wireless.  The best performance I got was by using my cell tethered via USB to my laptop. 

While you can get wireless connectivity in a lot of places, it is not predictable and not always with a good bandwidth - especially in BLM and forests. Not only that, but if you need wireless connectivity for any work, you will probably need multiple carriers.  In a recent video, Bob pointed out that just a slight change in location could make a huge difference in wireless availability. 

Depending on your requirements it could be rather expensive to get into a data plan which has good coverage, good bandwidth, and unlimited caps without major throttling.  While working in my RV it was not unusual for me to have over 800 Gig of data transfer a month. I was fortunate in that I had an unlimited data plan with Sprint, and Sprint performance in Houston is pretty strong.  But of course, Sprint does not have wide coverage, so I have a Verizon jetPack plan which is currently set to 10 Gig a month as a backup.  I'm currently car camping in my Prius in the southwest and since I am retired no longer have a high need for a lot of monthly bandwidth.  10 Gig a month is fine.  But if I were to try to start streaming through my jetPack, I would quickly exhaust my monthly limits. 

There is currently a 'data plan war' going on between the wireless carriers, but I think it is a bubble that is just about to burst.  There are a lot of signs that tower capacities are being reached and that will result in increased contention and throttling.  So before making any commitment, it would be wise to understand what your needs are going to be.

Good Luck...

 

[CityWoman]

I just want to add that I am in the process of de-cluttering and downsizing now, and at times it is very overwhelming. For me, its the sorting and organizing and physical work that is most challenging. Y'know, going through every closet, drawer, and cupboard, to deal with so many bits and pieces. It's so draining and time-consuming.

I only have a small apartment, but I have been living here for many, many years. I have no desire to put anything in storage, and I will give some things to a couple of cousins (such as my documentation of all the genealogical research I've done). There isn't much that I am sentimental about, but there are lots of things I can sell. However, different categories require different platforms for selling in order to reach an audience interested in that particular category.

And right now I'm totally broke and need to find a better job to support myself while downsizing. I don't want the proceeds of selling everything to just keep going to my rent instead of funding my escape (although I'm quite familiar with the need to sell my furniture in order to pay my rent - did that a few years ago when I almost lost the apartment), and selling everything will take time - once I slog through all my crap.

I guess I am just venting. For a few years now, my goal has been to start over and not be a prisoner of my stuff. I've let go of a lot, but it wasn't about getting rid of everything to go off and live a nomadic life. I only wanted to embrace some sort of minimalism and stay where I am. But I never got to that minimalist stage! I can't believe how much stuff I have sometimes, all crammed into a 400-sf apartment. It's only been in the last year, after a series of traumatic events in my life, that I realized I want to get out of here and travel.

Oh well, back to sorting and cleaning and tossing and setting aside what to sell and looking for a job... I just wish it wasn't so tedious.