Charting a new course.

[Headache]

I left just before Romer vs. Evans(amend 2). Thankfully it fixed a very large piece of trash legislation.

I think this thread just became one of my favorites! Lots of love and progress all up in here. Jim you are awesome and good luck with your new future! I hope to meet you!

 

[jimindenver]

Thank you. I look forward to meeting you too and so many more.

I've been checking into storage. All of this is taking so long that I'm going to have a hell of a time doing what I need, selling off what I should so I think I'm going to have to store some of it until I'm back this a way in the summer for health issues. That will make it so it's not so over whelming. Well that and even just my stuff takes up some space. At least I'll feel like I'm moving forward.


BTW My doctor decided to can the pill mill I have been going to for my back. Thank goodness because I just can't take them all. It takes a weeks pill planner just to sort out one day. I had them cut back when I was taking 12 pills a day but it's been ticking up there again. (pill mill accounted for half)

 

[Almost There]

I did the same thing Jim - ran short of time and energy and still had too much stuff that needed to be dealt with.

Most of mine was headed for yard sale but it was too late in the year for one here. Fortunately I had a cargo trailer that was going in to storage at a friends place for the winter so it didn't cost me anything.

I tried loading it first with the things I was planning on keeping but didn't need with me over the winter and then tossing in the yard sale stuff. Hahaha, that plan didn't work so well because I needed this item until the day I moved out but didn't need that thing etc. etc.

In the end it all got shoved in there and I sorted it out in the spring when I came back. A friend asked if I'd planned it out for the amount of space I had in the trailer - I barely got the moving dolly in and had to push to close the doors...

As long as you don't pay too much for storage and don't leave it there too long, it's a good plan for getting out of Dodge on schedule!

 

[jimindenver]

that plan didn't work so well because I needed this item until the day I moved out

And there lies the problem. Take the dinettes out so I can move forward with the build, it's a permanent decision. Sign a lease on a storage unit and not need it, same thing. I can pack a lot of it but I still have to live.

I have to admit that there is a part of me that just doesn't want this. It's so hard to give up on what I have worked so hard for for over three decades. I didn't want to lose my husband, I wanted him to grow up and be mine too. My stomach knots up every time I try to move forward, search for info, start packing. I think part of it is being so disappointed that I couldn't make it work and I don't give up easily.

Okay, so I am a bit more than just disappointed. I'm angry, I'm bitter, sad, disgusted, scared, worried and it's overwhelming, paralyzing. Add in the pills and I'm not able to quell the emotions and be the gracious person every one thinks I am.

Sorry for dumping on you all, I sure hope I can put my house in order and put this all behind me before having to deal with people again.

 

[Queen]

I know it won't help, but what you're experiencing is normal as hell. I'd be concerned about you if you didn't feel shitty about what happened. You had a whole life planned out and the other person didn't keep up their end of the agreement, they created an environment that changed your well laid out plans and of course you are pissed/sad/disappointed...

 

[jimindenver]

Queen, the only plan I ever had was to make him smile, make him happy and improve our lives.

 

[Queen]

I get that, I'm right there. If that all changed for me, I'd lose my mind. From what I can tell from afar, you're doing the best you can, and it will get better.

 

[Jerry1088]

When you wander near Cottonwood/Sedona, Az, as most of us out West do, you will find yourself boondocking on 89b or forest road 525.  200yards down 525, left on a side road is the largest model aircraft airport and viewing stadium in Arizona.  Windless Saturdays are big events.

Enjoy, Jerry from Brooklyn

 

[jimindenver]

COOL!

Now how do I fit a quarter scale pitts. a giant scale GB and a 10 ft cub in the trailer. lol

 

[Jerry1088]

COOL!

Now how do I fit a quarter scale pitts. a giant scale GB and a 10 ft cub in the trailer. lol

Solving problems of this type is the community specialty.  Just wait...

 

[jimindenver]

Oh I use to do shows with the owner of a hobby store. He had a huge toy hauler AND a extended van.

 

[gcal]

Little River Band put out a song call Cool change. It starts "there is a time in my life that I have been missing, it's the time I spend alone, sailing on the cool and clear blue waters" The chorus is Time for a cool change.

After 31 years of choppy waters, violent storms and fighting the current I have decided it's time to chart a new course and head for smoother sailing. I thought I was trapped here until I spoke with someone and found out that since gay marriage became legal that I can use it to get out of a gay marriage like others are getting into them. What a concept. I'm not trapped anymore, I don't have to walk with nothing to escape, I signed the divorce papers yesterday.

It will take time to right this ship but in the end I plan on joining your ranks, it's why I have been here. (bet ya have been wondering)  That time will let me prepare for the journey in a not so half assed way. Being here as a outsider has allowed me to see what I have to look forward to and what to prepare for. Various assets should leave me a decent jumping off point and I think it will be 6 months or so before I am ready to tear it up again. I'll get her patched up but it's gonna take some time. I need a few patches myself, a nice buff and shine wouldn't be bad either.

By the way I have never discussed being gay here for a few reasons. A. I have always felt it was discussion to be held with the person I wish to spend the evening with and B. I have lost many long term friends once they figured it out, even those that proclaim they are fine with it would become distant. I realize that at that point they are not worthy of my friendship but the only way to know is to run around introducing my self as gay Jim. I don't have sex often enough to be worthy of title or the hassles.

So here's to a new heading out there some where or maybe I should say anywhere but here.

I do need to say thank you to one that is no longer here. Grant listened to me vent and instead of comforting me, said Dude, this is abuse and you need to call a lawyer NOW. Thank you for your strength and compassion my friend, I couldn't have done it without you.

Unless someone is into molesting children, pets, livestock, or criminal assault, I can't imagine why anyone would care what another person's sexual preferences are. Well, maybe if a person is interested in a relationship that is not going to happen .....

Anyway, sorry about your negative experiences and best of luck to you.

 

[jimindenver]

The more I get done the better I feel. I found a mail forwarder that gives you a real address instead of a P.O. box. Rented the storage unit. Neighbors moved the three 157 pound batteries into the trailer. The trailer goes in next week for the work I farmed out on it. The panels go up as soon as it returns. Pat came and got the pick up trailer and was nice enough to take its old shell. I even got to show off the house a little bit.

So now I can keep my residence here in Colorado for the while until I figure out what I want to do with it. That will also allow me to continue my health care if the new doctor decides to do something worthy of staying for. I am hoping they pay at least half of the eye surgery next month, if not I'll pay. I've waited 36 years since they told me I had a birth defect to hear someone say they could fix it. It's rare, that's why the rest said no.

Having the storage is a relief. Moving things in to it makes room here and it feels like I'm moving forward with every bit. Getting the eye surgery makes me glad the airplanes didn't sell and now I can store them. I'll take something to fly and something to build when I'm bored.

Having the batteries out of the truck makes moving much easier. Having them in the trailer means I can start installing the wiring and controllers for the solar. I'm a visual builder and have to have things in place to design. I hate asking for help or paying for what I should be able to do, luckily I have neighbors are upset that I'm taking the trailer to a shop. We are not close personally but start doing something and you have all the help you could ask for. I'll miss them.

As for the rest of it, the loan is in review supposedly. yesterday he was reading off a list of things to be done until i asked why he was reading them to me. He asked what I meant and I said you like to remind me that I am taking the cash and the easy way out, now it's my turn. I didn't get screwed royally so that I could spend my time cleaning and fixing up this house for you. Otherwise we can sell it all and I'll get my fair share. I haven't heard a word since.

Last thing is I was listening to the book A dogs journey. In the end one of the people was explaining her mother to a nurse and saying that she was narcissistic and never knew that what she did was wrong or should be apologized for. That fits him to a T, I call it a Teflon halo. It gives me peace somehow knowing it's not a conscience thing and he couldn't change no matter what I did. I didn't fail, it was impossible to succeed.

Two more months, I keep telling myself that. Not in the sense of how much I need to do but rather no matter what, in two more months it's over. It brings a smile when I should be ticked because whatever it is, I won't be dealing with it in two more months. I feel like a prisoner that was unexpectedly paroled and is waiting to be released.

 

[jimindenver]

Odd couple of days.

Today I found out we sign the papers on the house the first of the month. It's over. Part of me wants to skip down the street singing oh happy day. I can finally head towards calmer sailing doing the things I could only do once I knew what direction I was heading. I still have over a month to get banking, residency, insurance, etc taken care of.

The other part is dealing with wow it's over. We grew up together and were suppose to get old that way too. I just never imagined a life without him, accepting it isn't easy. A lot of memories in three and a half decades, pretty sad actually that there isn't a chance.

On the other hand there was yesterday. The eye doctors office called to confirm my surgery and to let me know that the insurance approved the whole thing. They had hoped for half, feared I have to pay for it all but somehow I gained pre approval status in the year end clean up and got lucky. Had it been last week they would have dropped the approval like they did with my back doctor and other appointments we had set up.

Now I should postpone it considering all that I have to do still. The thing is doctors that are willing to fix the birth defect are as rare as the defect is itself, I have been looking for 40 years. Add in getting it paid for and I can not pass up the opportunity. I'll finish up the trailer this week and do the light stuff as I recover.

 

[Gunny]

How long will the recovery be? And my best wishes for your surgery. Rob

 

[jimindenver]

Thank you. Once the defect is repaired the recovery is like a cataract surgery, two to three weeks.

 

[jonney38]

You are on your way to a healthy and happy future. I'm pleased for you.