Cancer Does Not Win Today

[Random Painted Highway]

[font=Tahoma, Verdana, Arial, sans-serif]My wife and i are relatively young, early to mid 50's and had been planning to quit work to travel down to the Southwest this winter, to explore our pursuits and interests and possibly work along the way at some point.  We have worked hard for many years and have saved a few hundred thousand dollars, which for us, is a considerable amount of savings.  [/font]

[font=Tahoma, Verdana, Arial, sans-serif]Out of the blue, one beautiful morning in late August my wife asked if her skin looked yellow to me, yeah, i said and your eyes too...so off to the clinic we go.  Well, after a terrifying whirlwind of testing and procedures we finally heard "you have pancreatic cancer".   It felt like our world fell out from under us.  The word cancer is frightening enough to hear but adding the word pancreatic next to it was too much, just too, too much hear.  [/font]

[font=Tahoma, Verdana, Arial, sans-serif]A major surgery was scheduled and was successful, and after some healing, we are now currently going through a series chemo treatments, which will be finished in May if all goes as well.   We are so fortunate to have made it this far and to have health insurance through our work...but wonder what would have happened if we had quit our work and did not have health insurance or had insurance limited to the state we have insurance in but were living elsewhere?  We are trying to update our future plans for summer, but trying to figure our health insurance options is daunting.  We could retire and pay the premium of $900.00 per month for the same coverage we have (having to pay the employer's portion is included in this monthly premium).  We could stay put and work until medicare (will the cancer come back?).  We don't know what do.  It feels like being a prisoner to the cancer in some ways.[/font]

[font=Tahoma, Verdana, Arial, sans-serif]I feel like we are between a rock and a hard place-our nomadic plans and now even more than ever dependent on having good health insurance....without it, we would be nearing financial bankruptcy. [/font]

[font=Tahoma, Verdana, Arial, sans-serif]I'm not sure how much time we have left together, my wife now has a more enlightened life time frame than i do, but in reality not one of us is guaranteed participation in life tomorrow.    [/font]

[font=Tahoma, Verdana, Arial, sans-serif]Looking for advice from others who are in the same situation or something similar, who are too young for medicare and do not have military service VA option. [/font]

[font=Tahoma, Verdana, Arial, sans-serif]Thank you[/font]





[font=Tahoma, Verdana, Arial, sans-serif]  [/font]

 

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I am saying a prayer for your wife and you. I have recently had the cancer scare, but fortunately they are just going to monitor my thyroid each year and watch it. Best of luck with your decisions. Jeff

 

[GypsyJan]

You can be nomadic on vacations and long weekends for now. You don't have to make a big change at this time. You are in my thoughts and prayers.

 

[maki2]

Look for a job(s) that allows you to work remotely. A lot of people work out of their RVs while they travel.
Maybe it will mean you need to do some extra education and training time to make it happen. But if there is a strong will you can and will find the way to make it happen. There are quite a few blogs focused around working while living nomadic and what kinds of work is suitable. Just be sure it comes with health insurance options from the company you are working for.

 

[rvwandering]

Welcome to the CRVL forums Random Painted Highway! I'm sorry for everything that you and your wife have been going through and hope that she has a full recovery. Working remotely would be the best scenario if that's a possibility for you.

To help you learn the ins and outs of these forums, this "Tips, Tricks and Rules" post lists some helpful information to get you started.

Most of our rules boil down to two simple over-riding principles: 1) What you post should provide good information (like your introductory post), and 2) Any response to someone else's post should make them feel glad they are part of this forum community.

We look forward to hearing more from you.

 

[Stargazer]

Dear Random Painted Highway,

Yes, I've been almost exactly there. 

My husband gave his notice for retirement and two weeks later was diagnosed with lung cancer.  We kept his insurance.  During the ensuing four and a half years, there were periods of remission where we traveled in our RV.  At one point, I begged him to take a trip and he refused.  He didn't want to miss any medical appointments.  I asked his oncologist and he said, "GO!"  We went to Hawaii.  New Years Eve in Vegas.  Yellowstone and the Tetons.  The Grand Canyon.  Memories.

Go!  Schedule trips around treatments if your dear wife feels up to it.  And if road trips are too much, trains?  With sleepers?  Or planes, airports have handicapped services.  Hotels will arrange for rental scooters.  Cruises.  Live today like there will be no tomorrow.  Please.  You will not regret going.  You will regret not going.

I am not a praying person, but you are not alone.  We are out here, rooting for you both.

 

[crofter]

My van is my comfy place that I can take with me and travel some. Everything I need is in there, and when I am on the road there is no pressure to do anything, but if I need a creature comfort it is in the van. I think you should have that too, and especially for your partner who is being treated. It is very comfortable to have your home with you when you don't feel well.  Whether you retire or not? That's up to you. But there can be much less stress and more healing energy in retirement.   -crofter

 

[Stargazer]

Sofisintown is right. Social Security (at least 12 years ago) awarded disability benefits if one is diagnosed as "terminal". It took months to get it, and you can apply online.

 

[WanderingRose]

I’m so sorry to hear of your wife’s cancer and wish you strength as you navigate this journey.

You don’t say what stage cancer your wife has, but that would figure in to your plans.

I’m not sure about eligibility for SS disability/Medicare if you have several thousand dollars in savings, but a conversation with your local SS office will clear that up.

Given your relatively young ages, I’m with those who recommend you keep working for now and not make such a huge change as leaving your jobs in the midst of this.

Choosing to live off savings and paying a big premium for health insurance seems very risky, to me.

You can take great adventures as vacation time, doing some of those things you dream of, maintaining your insurance and income until the dust settles around this disease and it’s outcome for your wife.

Maybe consider a leave of absence.

There’s an old saying about life being what happens while we’re busy making other plans. We never know what might be dealt us on any given day.

I’m a big believer in asking whatever powers that be we believe in for guidance, being thoughtful and trusting that a path thru whatever darkness has descended will show itself.

Good luck to you and your wife.

 

[maki2]

Your life has changed, at least for now. Yesterday's plans are no longer the perfect fit, at least for now.
The only choice is to live it one day at a time. You can't leave town until she is medically stabilized as far as treatment goes. You can't leave town until you come with a plan for your medical care and coverage. That can be a vastly confusing task to sort out what plan to get. So start using some local resources to help locate a medical insurance specialist. I know that in the area where I am in in Seattle there is Cancer Care Alliance, a consortium of teams of people supporting the patients for a variety of resources, not just doctors and treatments but also issues that affect other aspects of their lives. Part of those resources are counselors who help connect up the patients to things such as someone to help them sort out their medical insurance needs and where to go if you are traveling out of town.

You are both team players and now is the time to expand your team and find those new people you need on your team. You need some real pros to teach you two rookies about insurance coverage and income generation. You can't find it all out by yourself in forums or on the internet. You need a pro or two or three literally sitting right by your side who can be trusted with knowledge of your personal financial matters as well as health issues. Your attorney will also be one of your team members as will your next of kin such as children or siblings. Forums are good for support but it takes more than that to resolve this major change in your life. Once you get that plan together then start rebooting your goals for a life on the road. One day at a time, one step at a time. You have a bunch of steps to take before the ones that takes you out and about for long stretches of time. Little steps, one at a time, will get you there faster than you think. And remember to delegate some of this research, you can ask for help and you might need it as your energy won't hold up to doing it all by yourself.

 

[badmotorscooter]

My take might be considered a little radical, but it worked for me.

I had cancer 13 years ago and endured head/neck radiation therapy. Post treatment I got one PET scan after about 6 months. My doctors and the literature they gave me said after one year the odds of the cancer returning was very low and after 2 years it was not much more than an average person...

Yet they wanted me to keep seeing an oncologist for the rest of my life and monitor with scans? How does that work?
I didn't buy into their big pharma program and never went back. I drank Essiac tea religiously for the first two years and got back into shape with my usual rigorous physical routine. I have had to deal with multiple morbid side effects that plagued me and that no doctor or literature warned me of. I have been to the doctor several times for such issues and most of the time they were unable to help me in spite of knowing my medical history. I had to study up myself and figure out how to deal/treat these issues. The information is out there, you have to find it. If you strictly rely on your doctor to take care of everything, your long journey will be magnitudes more difficult...

That being said I my health is good and I am physically in great shape. I forgot about cancer and never looked back.
Could I get it again? Sure, but so could any of us, I refuse to let it rule my life.

After surgery, therapy and the original all clear diagnosis, forget about having your life ruled by the medical establishment, just go out and live... When the inevitable side effects show up arm yourself with the knowledge to improve/correct/mitigate them and live a healthy life and be free...

 

[WanderingRose]

It is a sad state of affairs that we have to critique our medical providers to determine what is necessary and what is about keeping their schedules full, but I agree with bms on that part.

Of course, you are in the throes of it and so being completely compliant is important.

Once you have the all clear, then determine what is reasonable follow up and keep your own objective eye on that.

 

[Random Painted Highway]

Thanks to everyone who posted and i wish the best for you all everyday.  There is a lot of information to take in and digest, but it is so good to read others perspective because sometimes when you feel like you are all alone, you are not always sure what route to take...

 

[Gypsy108]

"My take might be considered a little radical, but it worked for me. "   (Badmotorscooter)

(Everything you said alines with how i see it too )   I AM A REBEL !!!!

My heart goes out to you & your wife RPH  :heart: :heart: :heart: