Women Only Being a nomad woman without a man to help

[G0ldengirl68]

Well, you just relaxed all my tension I've had a bout this today maki   I know Doug will help me figure all that in, and the timing of the Seasons will learn also with all the help I get from you all.  It sounds wonderful where you are!  I don't remember if I mentioned, but the place Doug, Paulette and I were going to have dinner was closed on Tuesday eve.  So then we were going tonight.  I couldn't go as I felt sick after breakfast this a.m. and still wasn't up to going out so they are going to our yummy Chart Room, and said they'd see me tomorrow.

I know people must get tired of hearing all my fears, but it really does help me to get feedback from you all.  I found that chart of the Monthly weather temps in AZ and felt kind of silly as I know they can fluctuate, but for the most part, they were pretty moderate.  That was for Quartzite, and I really want to meet you if possible, so maybe I can find out where you're going to be when I am ready to roll.  Doug is up for doing the build in August, so I'll keep folks here posted.

 

[G0ldengirl68]

You're so close, Goldengirl - I wish I could go spend time with you, Doug and Paulette - but right now I'm only focused on trying to make my van livable again... so am making trips to Oregon for lumber and whatever is needed for the conversion. When I get it to where I can sleep in it again, hopefully we'll be able to meet up somewhere. Right now the van is full of things to be used for the conversion.

Anyhow, for cooling - what I was using was two oPolar USB-rechargable fans plus sitting in the shade under a tree somewhere with the cargo doors open.

We are doing the same thing, I just want to be comfy and organized in my truck, and then I will head out.  I wish you had time too, to meetup with Doug and Paulette! I enjoyed their company so much and look forward to doing my build with them.  I also wondered about getting materials up in Oregon but we'll see what Doug wants to do.  I also can't wait to meet Maki and you probably saw what she wants to do is put me through Boot Camp, which I need for sure, so I can do more things on my own, and even help others with their needs too!  I am excited for you and admire you for doing all you are doing now to get ready to roll!  I hope we meet soon, who knows, maybe sitting and watching a sunset over the Grand Canyon like Maki is doing!

 

[maki2]

My boot camp means you show up with the tools you want to learn how to use safely and with some degree of control and I will show you how to use them. I am not going to work on your builds or even design them for you. I am not a lady of leisure. I am self employed and also burned out from doing my own build work. So basically I will empower you just enough to pick up the tools and get some work done.

 

[G0ldengirl68]

I understand Maki I didn't know about your self-employment though and I so hope to get at least some Seasonal work once I get the hang of "roughing it" again

 

[G0ldengirl68]

Thanks all, for you feedback here. I am heading out in a few so have to get off the puter If I get a signal, I will pop in most likely Denise

 

[Vanlifenment]

I used IKEA furniture and attached it using existing bolts in the van floor. Bed, side cabinet, and a kids' storage unit for water and food. I didn't recycle or upcycle furniture because I've had problems with wood bugs. My floor is a rug I had that I cut to fit with a box cutter. The only thing I built myself was a composting toilet, but I only needed a drill and a jigsaw. I never used a jigsaw before, but I learned!

Home Depot offers DIY classes, sometimes geared specifically for women. Check other hardware stores in your area to see if they do the same. A lot can be learned from YouTube - that's how I learned to change a flat, repair a tire, check and fill various fluids, etc. I always keep side fluids in ther car: oil, coolant, brake fluid, and transmission fluid. 

Get your tires checked regularly. I go to a mechanic when I need repairs or oil change, and I highly recommend using RepairPal to find one on the road. They have high standards for joining and guarantee certain pricing. I also recommend getting an OBD/OBD2 reader for your vehicle so that you can find out what's wrong if any service or error lights come on. Alternatively, auto parts stores have cheap ones you can use for free.

I also have a satellite communicator for emergencies. I don't always have service, but someone always knows where I am and I can check in daily. If I need help, I can contact emergency services. That and my stun gun, pepper spray, bowie knife, hammer, and taekwondo training give me peace of mind.

Bad things will absolutely happen on the road. I've felt afraid and frustrated and angry and disappointed and ugly cried many times. But bad things will happen in your apartment, too. Bad things can't be avoided for as long as you're alive. Meeting them willingly and head-on builds resilience and confidence, and that gifts you with FREEDOM.

 

[maki2]

Doug will show you how to rig up some shade cloth. You need it for reducing heat as well as preventing getting sun burned when you sit outside.

On hot days you are going to be outside, not inside. Your vehicle will also provide shade except at high noon in the mid summer. You will learn to orient it so that in the hot afternoon a preferred side is facing north so it stays cooler. But of course it is on wheels so you can reposition it if needed. I have shade cloth for 3 sides of my small travel trailer but of course only need it for extreme hot days which I try to avoid by not being in extreme heat areas. But those days sometimes come along with freaky weather patterns even in normally cool areas. A 12v fan helps as do tank tops, shorts, short hair and wetting yourself down with water, wrapping up in a wet bedsheet, camping near water so you can immerse in it etc. AC is a very recent invention in terms of human history.

You will get this sorted out very quickly using some common sense and begin to thrive in the life. This last spring I had to spend some time in Quartzsite waiting on my vaccine appointment. Some days it was very close to 100 degrees, I have no AC in my tiny travel trailer. So for the hottest hours of the afternoon I went to the Quartzsite public library because they have AC, a water dispenser, a restroom, comfy chairs. Obviously entertainment in the form of books as well as videos I could watch on my laptop. I talked to the librarians, they did not mind my using it as a cooling station. Hardly anyone else was in there. Here by the Grand Canyon on some very hot afternoons I went to an air conditioned food court place in the small town that also has some shops and an IMax movie. There is a common use area with a lot of tables, some electrical outlets near a few tables. I bought an iced tea and when it was gone refilled the cup from a soft drink dispenser with the water selection, bonus points for the ice! No one cared that I sat there for several hours looking at my tablet, reading a book, etc. It was not lunch or dinner time so the place was pretty much empty. No waiters because it is a food court that is shared by several businesses . There is of couse also a public use restroom. Like I said, just use common sense, you will figure it out.

 

[WanderingRose]

After my husband died, I wanted to continue to travel and so took on the “outside” chores that were once his domain, including emptying the holding tanks, something I had never once done.

I now do it all, tho occasionally am stumped with something and need a man’s eyes/perspective, and sometimes their brute strength.

At those times, I look for a kind male face and ask for help.

I also give help when asked, or volunteer it when it seems appropriate, my way of paying the universe back for the privilege of continuing to travel.

We can and do learn new things, and particularly those things that allow us to do what we want to do.

 

[Morgana]

In terms of daily life tasks, there's really very little (if any) "man stuff" and "woman stuff." It's mostly just "stuff you've already done" and "stuff you haven't done yet," and you can learn if you want to.

Same for things people like to talk about. There are plenty of gals who fix cars, and plenty of guys who knit.

You really can learn if you want to. And there are plenty of people out there who will help. Sure, you'll occasionally stumble across a moron who likes to lord it over people who don't know the exact same set of things he does (yawn, eye roll), but for every one of those there are a dozen who are happy to share.

Double-dog-dare ya: Pick one of those "woman things" and learn how to do it. And if you get stuck, ask here on the forums!

 

[user 16179]

This feels so hard to talk about but I keep hitting road-blocks, in my mind, because I am a woman alone. I do fine living in an apartment where all the major maintenance is done by hired men. I'm sure there are maintenance women out there as well. I want the skills to build my own Camper, to maintain my vehicles engine, and all the other maintenance on a vehicle. I feel helpless about becoming a Nomad, but I know you gals are out there doing it. Maybe it's about over-coming fears, and maybe it's "I'm not cut out for this". It's extra scary to think of "having" to live as a nomad. I guess if I had to I could do it, but honestly, I don't even know if I could then. Just be a bag-lady, and I'm not that far from it if I look around the world and see the changes taking place.

I know I need to talk to other women, but it's hard to make new friends. All my close friends are far away in compatibility from me. They have families, grand-kids, great-grand-kids, husbands, still employed, busy! I call them and keep in touch but we have nothing in common anymore.

I don't know, I'm seeing what comes of someone that didn't take life serious enough. All I ever wanted to do was find "Mr. Right" and all I did was look for perfection, the Fairy Tale, after the honeymoon it was like "hell with this" and move on. I'm 68 now and being forced to slow down by age. I think I'll somehow escape reality by living "out there" but I didn't work long and hard enough to have the income to have what I feel I need.

I just hate feeling like this is just the end of the road. Living around, and becoming one of those that are sitting in front of a tv waiting to die.

I'm sorry to rant and barf out all my stuff here but I don't have another place I feel I can be honest. I pray I don't bring anyone else down. I'm crying now and sometimes I do feel better if I can let it all out honestly. Denise PS I guess men can read this even though it's a womens "board" but I don't care. I just know men think/feel different than women (me anyway).

Don't worry about doing vehicle maintenance yourself. I put myself through college as a mechanic working on German cars. I use the Valvoline Quick Oil centers, they check more items than you can in the desert, or woods. The tool I use most for repairs is my Samsung S8+.

 

[user 22017]

Where is fantym?

 

[RVingFT]

Well, you just relaxed all my tension I've had a bout this today maki I know Doug will help me figure all that in, and the timing of the Seasons will learn also with all the help I get from you all. It sounds wonderful where you are! I don't remember if I mentioned, but the place Doug, Paulette and I were going to have dinner was closed on Tuesday eve. So then we were going tonight. I couldn't go as I felt sick after breakfast this a.m. and still wasn't up to going out so they are going to our yummy Chart Room, and said they'd see me tomorrow.

I know people must get tired of hearing all my fears, but it really does help me to get feedback from you all. I found that chart of the Monthly weather temps in AZ and felt kind of silly as I know they can fluctuate, but for the most part, they were pretty moderate. That was for Quartzite, and I really want to meet you if possible, so maybe I can find out where you're going to be when I am ready to roll. Doug is up for doing the build in August, so I'll keep folks here posted.

1- you CAN do this! No-one goes into a mobile lifestyle knowing everything. They do know they can learn as they go. 2-the NRVTA in Athens, TX has GREAT program to teach you the basics. Hands on. I took the course and now am not afraid of my LP tanks. I can diagnose all sorts of issues I used to be clueless about. 3-Join Girl Camper or Sisters on The Fly to connect with other females who camp in various vehicles around the country. 4-always be learning because Knowledge is Powerful and women are more powerful than they realize! 5- Men with knowledge and/or skills are great to have around but are not required for women to be able.to learn how handle their own equipment. 6-RVillage is another great community with solo females traveling. Find your tribe and enjoy the life that YOU create C ya down the road somewhere, someday!

 

[LargeMarge]

This feels so hard to talk about but I keep hitting road-blocks, in my mind, because I am a woman alone. I do fine living in an apartment where all the major maintenance is done by hired men. I'm sure there are maintenance women out there as well. I want the skills to build my own Camper, to maintain my vehicles engine, and all the other maintenance on a vehicle. I feel helpless about becoming a Nomad, but I know you gals are out there doing it. Maybe it's about over-coming fears, and maybe it's "I'm not cut out for this". It's extra scary to think of "having" to live as a nomad. I guess if I had to I could do it, but honestly, I don't even know if I could then. Just be a bag-lady, and I'm not that far from it if I look around the world and see the changes taking place.

I know I need to talk to other women, but it's hard to make new friends. All my close friends are far away in compatibility from me. They have families, grand-kids, great-grand-kids, husbands, still employed, busy! I call them and keep in touch but we have nothing in common anymore.

I don't know, I'm seeing what comes of someone that didn't take life serious enough. All I ever wanted to do was find "Mr. Right" and all I did was look for perfection, the Fairy Tale, after the honeymoon it was like "hell with this" and move on. I'm 68 now and being forced to slow down by age. I think I'll somehow escape reality by living "out there" but I didn't work long and hard enough to have the income to have what I feel I need.

I just hate feeling like this is just the end of the road. Living around, and becoming one of those that are sitting in front of a tv waiting to die.

I'm sorry to rant and barf out all my stuff here but I don't have another place I feel I can be honest. I pray I don't bring anyone else down. I'm crying now and sometimes I do feel better if I can let it all out honestly. Denise PS I guess men can read this even though it's a womens "board" but I don't care. I just know men think/feel different than women (me anyway).

.
I saw your headline, my first thought:
* A lot of men I know would appreciate your help.
.
a)
I will turn 70 in a few weeks.
During our early traveling days, we joined organized caravans of experienced travelers.
We watched and learned:
* Their routes
* Their time behind the wheel
* The time they quit traveling for the day to establish camp
* Their vehicle choices
* Their equipment
* Their cook gear and recipes... because, sooner or later, everybody needs to eat.
.
We watched the ways they mingled and conversed, everybody automatically presumed to be an instant 'best friend'.
.
Those early trips, we listened more than we talked... absorbing an astonishing amount of information from the geezers.
About the only time we spoke was to clarify our understanding of equipment, procedures, or an event.
.
We did a lot of offering to help, offering to drive from camp to town for errands or grub.
.
Then, one utterly average day, newcomers looked to us for procedures and equipment.
Somehow, without us realizing, we became the geezers with the experience.
Fortunately, about that time, TheWorldWideWeb became usable for forums.
Show of hands -- how many remember the olden days of bulletin-boards?
Criminy.
.
.
b)
re -- compatible strangers
.
We SCUBA dive.
We caravan with SCUBA buds.
We occasionally go out on charter-boats for week-long off-shore SCUBA adventures... a dozen 'instant best-friends' strangers.
.
We discovered the vast overwhelming majority of divers think like us, v*te like us, treasure solitude like us.
I sometimes wonder if we were raised together in different families, and went to different schools together.
.
If I was me and I wanted another chum in the pack, I think I would probably use my basics to expand.
.
.
c)
You may not be cut out for this.
Until you try it, you will probably be torn betwixt... one fuddy-duddy foot mired/stuck/buried in the mindless predictable drudgery of a stand-still house, the other wild and free and laughing with your newest 'instant best-friends'.
.
And one of them might be "...a man to help...".

 

[user 22017]

You may not be cut out for this.
Until you try it, you will probably be torn betwixt... one fuddy-duddy foot mired/stuck/buried in the mindless predictable drudgery of a stand-still house, the other wild and free and laughing with your newest 'instant best-friends'.
.
And one of them might be "...a man to help...".

Goldengirl is gone. She decided against leaving her home. It is posted in another thread.

 

[scaredycat72]

.
I saw your headline, my first thought:
* A lot of men I know would appreciate your help.
.
a)
I will turn 70 in a few weeks.
During our early traveling days, we joined organized caravans of experienced travelers.
We watched and learned:
* Their routes
* Their time behind the wheel
* The time they quit traveling for the day to establish camp
* Their vehicle choices
* Their equipment
* Their cook gear and recipes... because, sooner or later, everybody needs to eat.
.
We watched the ways they mingled and conversed, everybody automatically presumed to be an instant 'best friend'.
.
Those early trips, we listened more than we talked... absorbing an astonishing amount of information from the geezers.
About the only time we spoke was to clarify our understanding of equipment, procedures, or an event.
.
We did a lot of offering to help, offering to drive from camp to town for errands or grub.
.
Then, one utterly average day, newcomers looked to us for procedures and equipment.
Somehow, without us realizing, we became the geezers with the experience.
Fortunately, about that time, TheWorldWideWeb became usable for forums.
Show of hands -- how many remember the olden days of bulletin-boards?
Criminy.
.
.
b)
re -- compatible strangers
.
We SCUBA dive.
We caravan with SCUBA buds.
We occasionally go out on charter-boats for week-long off-shore SCUBA adventures... a dozen 'instant best-friends' strangers.
.
We discovered the vast overwhelming majority of divers think like us, v*te like us, treasure solitude like us.
I sometimes wonder if we were raised together in different families, and went to different schools together.
.
If I was me and I wanted another chum in the pack, I think I would probably use my basics to expand.
.
.
c)
You may not be cut out for this.
Until you try it, you will probably be torn betwixt... one fuddy-duddy foot mired/stuck/buried in the mindless predictable drudgery of a stand-still house, the other wild and free and laughing with your newest 'instant best-friends'.
.
And one of them might be "...a man to help...".

She might be gone but this is great info for everybody else in her position. Thanks for posting.

 

[user 22017]

That's true!

 

[kristinakar1na]

At 58, I finally learned to shed that out-dated notion that a woman "needs to grow up and find a good man to marry".
I finally got shed of a man who was handy for the last 17 years, but I found out that while I thought I was in a commited relationship, he was otherwise not.
Upon reviewing my situation, I took stock of my talents:
"resourcefulness", and my tendencies "to get lost in the weeds researching a subject". Also, I like to tinker.
So, when I actually take stock, I found I am actually more better equiped than I thought.
I have bought a lot of the tools that I used to rely upon someone else to have. I look up electrical diagrams, and other stuff that is boring to most people.
My most recent research is circling back to a project that I wanted to pursue before... Life.
I am researching powering a mobile by vetetable oil (hemp specifically, because .... ). I found out that a vegetable oil powered mobile still needs a diesel starter to start the engine until the vegetable oil gets warm enough.
Then, I thought about a hybrid oil-powered/electric mobile. Then I looked at how that would all fit under the hood, or in the boot, or under the undercarriage - and even on a cocktail napkin, it seemed prohibitive!!!
But it was a fun thought experiment!

 

[Bunpoh]

I truly appreciate this thread. Though I now have a male partner, and it's been about 5 years since my husband died, my partner will be taking off on a Pacific Crest Trail Thru-hike not long after we start Full-Timing in our new to us old RV, which is still in the shop.

I know next to nothing about RVing, though I've been obsessively researching for the past couple months, and acquiring all the bits and bobs that we will be needing. Our belongings are kind of scattered across 4 states currently, though, as we've been couch-surfing since we sold my house right before foreclosure could take it with a little to get us a new start in the pocket. So we're going to have to wing it and go back and collect things we need/get rid of things we don't.

Complicating the situation is my two beautiful loving cats, who are the remainder of my family since my husband passed on. I need to provide a good home for them and myself until my partner comes back and we can find the right land to build tiny houses on and we establish new income streams of one sort or another. Worried about how to keep them cool, or warm, and safe from gas/exhaust leaks or exploding fridges or invaders or stopping on the road suddenly. How to keep them entertained and healthy.

Ironically, I hiked 1300+ miles of the PCT solo several years ago, leaving my cats with a trusted person, though I can't leave them with anyone now. But you'd think I'd feel like I could take on anything after that. Life on trail was so simple, though. Hike, camp, eat, sleep, repeat. Go into town for a while, wash up, resupply, hike out. Climb optional mountains, South Sister, Mount Whitney, feeling so accomplished and powerful and free. The community was so supportive and amazing. I miss the trail all the time.

This life seems so much more complex. And expensive. And hard to navigate. And I've become chronically ill since, so I've lost my athleticism and looks. Still trying to get medically diagnosed and treated, amongst the chaos of my disrupted life.

I am joining those suggested groups from above, and more. Trying to educate myself. Trying to get our sh*t together. I am excited and relieved that at least we can live autonomously again, not tossed about by the whims and moods of those whose couches we've been surfing upon. Excited about the travel, about exploring, about being in nature. About future endeavors. About helping hikers like I was helped when on trail, becoming part of new communities and making new friends.

I cried my way through Nomadland. It was so much of what I feel and how it's been for me since my husband passed. And where I'm headed. And even how I feel about The Matrix of life in the U.S., especially since I came back from the PCT. I hope I can figure out how to do this, too. Thanks for the advice and inspiration here.

 

[ohbejoyful]

About helping hikers like I was helped when on trail, becoming part of new communities and making new friends.

What a great idea!!!

 

[LeftTown]

I haven't had a chance to read the whole thread yet, but it has saved me the trouble of asking a lot of questions and you the trouble of trying to understand my unpleasant writing style.

It is especially hard for our generation; I was born in 1965 and was raised to be "the pretty one" as opposed to my gifted sibling's label of "the smart one".

Honey, I ain't pretty by anyone's standards any more and this ain't high school.

But when I look at my Carfax report and it says my high mileage Dodge Grand Caravan needs belts and hoses examined, the knee jerk reaction is still to find a Big Strong Man to do it for me instead of just opening up the hood, thumbing through my Haines manual, and making a checklist.

Goldengirl, if you see this, don't beat yourself up over a "false start"; there's no reason to feel embarrassed if you decide to come back or encounter us elsewhere on the internet.

I cried my way through Nomadland too, as I realized that there is nothing special about "Humboldt's Finest"; it's just the same as gypsum to the powers that be.

Marriage died in1995, ex-husband died under horrific circumstances in 2020, finally grieving them both.

All he ever wanted was to be a Daddy and he never got that. If I don't talk about him, it's just like Fern's Bo....

All that pain, hurt, struggle, and failure of a lifetime was for nothing. I can't do that to hubs. We remember the good times