Anyone go through what I'm going through now?

[cyndi]

 I get enough grief from people on the outside. I don't need it from people here, too.

I don't think anyone was giving you grief. I think someone was offering different perspectives

 

[JuliaAnne2018]

When I started this thread, I just wanted to know if anyone was going through what I am going through during this transition. As a kind of sharing thing to see if I was the only one or not having the ups and downs during preparation for my new life, and I did get some beautiful responses, but some people got too wrapped up in trying to provide me therapy, which I wasn't looking for. And I felt misunderstood and misjudged -- and picked on by some people who responded.

My number one priority is making sure my dog and me don't freeze to death this winter, and I'm connecting with people from here who have the kind of practical advice I want and need. The rest of the drama I don't need.

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[John61CT]

And again, you can't prevent, can only ignore, the words that do not match (only you know) what you're looking for.

 

[Brian_and_Jesse]

JuliaAnne2018,

Bless your heart! :heart:

Two things first:

1.  When people ask me where I live, I say, “I *live* wherever I am!” with the emphasis on *live*, which I find usually derails their train of thought about the location of my domicile, and tends to make them ponder the difference between existing and living instead.

If I sense that the enquiring party doesn’t run too deep, I keep it simple and say, “Oh, just down the road a bit. “

As a writer, you could honestly say, “That’s a good question. I travel so much nowadays, conducting research for my books, that I think my real home is on the road!”  Then add, “How about you? Are you from around here?” (Learning how to turn questions around can save you a lot of talking!)

The truth is, most people couldn’t care less where you live. It’s just one of those social howdy-doodies that few bother to listen to the answer to.  It’s right up there with, “How are you?”

2.  Why do you care what others think about *your* life’s choices?  Who decided what so-called ‘social norms’ either are or ought to be?  They do differ widely around the world y’know, and you are a unique individual who has every right to live as she chooses, provided that you’re not bothering anyone else, of course, which I’m sure you’re not.

That said, major life changes, like the one you’re making, do involve a period of  feeling displaced and/or lost. It’s simply an adjustment period and it’s perfectly normal, JuliaAnne, and it can last for several weeks/months, depending on your personality, and how much fun you’re having. Making new friends who choose to live as you do is enormously cathartic in helping you to settle yourself.

I’m sure that you can find, through this forum and others, many fellow nomads with similar interests to your own.

Love and All Good Things,

Jesse.?
www.jesseleighbrackstone.com

 

[JuliaAnne2018]

JuliaAnne2018,

Bless your heart! [emoji813]



2.  Why do you care what others think about *your* life’s choices?  Who decided what so-called ‘social norms’ either are or ought to be?  

Law enforcement mostly. LOL I don't want many people to know my plans because of that. Not that I'm intentionally breaking laws just can be frustrating to find out how many rules and regulations there are about living like this.

Thank you for your encouragement. I do appreciate it. I will say I started this thread weeks ago, and since then have had too many things on my plate to even have the time to care anymore about what people think. Working like mad to prepare for winter.




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[WanderingRose]

I feel your struggles, JulieAnne.

When things have been darkest and most difficult for me, I make myself get up each day, put one foot ahead of the other, do whatever I need to do to survive and get myself out of that circling-the-drain place.

I have faith in he universe that if I do my part, it will all work out, and it always does.

I have learned that what works out isn’t always what I wanted most nor thought it would be, sometimes by the time I see a light at the end of the tunnel I am not in the same tunnel I started out in.

Every day, step by step, do what you need to do, a path will lay itself out and it will all work itself out.

Good luck to you, and keep us posted.

 

[rm.w/aview]

Based on what I've read here, your circumstance and your reaction to it, I can only hope that when society breaks down and the shite hits the fan that I will find you in our tribe or group of souls carving a way and overcoming adversity. You are a capable and determined individual that will most certainly land on your feet.

 

[bullfrog]

Just so you know matress sales outlets just throw away the big plastic bags that they ship matresses in. I had a friend build a green house with them last year. I just called them up told them I was transporting several matresses and asked if they would save them for me and they did. I got free vegies all winter from my friend! Also harbor frieght sometimes gives away free 5' x 7' blue tarps with a coupon and any purchase doesn't matter how small a purchase. Around camp ground dumpsters after big wind storms there is usually the remains of broken or bent canopies which can be fixed sometimes with parts from another one. Reinforced with wood and lag bolts at the joints held together by the original bolts and making walls out of old carpet held, in my case, by bamboo (it's an invasive species here, grows like mad people are happy to get it cut back) it also is easily bent to reinforce the roof. Discarded PVC pipe also works. Depending on how much snow you let sit on it will last easly a couple years.

 

[JuliaAnne2018]

Thanks, WanderingRose, RM.W/View and Bullfrog. Yeah I was wondering as I was sitting next to my hot tarp earlier this summer if I could use tarps to make a "greenhouse effect" mostly to stay warm not grow/store veggies but wouldn’t mind that either if I have the room. The mattress bags idea sounds cool and yeah I wouldn't mind getting free tarps from H.F. someone message me if you notice the H.F. coupons before I do.

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[Txjaybird]

 HI AGAIN juliaAnne2018 

 I'm glad to see you're still hanging in there.  The first house I bought in SD cost $2,500,  that was in July 1986.  In March of 1989 I moved into it.  I'm from TX & in March I can wear shorts, tank tops, & flip flops.  I was unprepared for a home that hadn't been lived in for 10 ys and the furnace didn't work either!  I slept on 2 blue "egg crate" mattress toppers on the floor with a borrowed old electric heater sitting up on a milk crate far enough away that if I threw off some bed covers in the night I wouldn't set my happy self on fire  :huh:   I slept with a mans sweater wrapped around my head and tied on with the sleeves.  It was Soooooo Coooold that there was ice on the drapes on the inside of the windows 5ft from where I slept.  It was damn cold for my Texas blood I'm a tellin' ya!  One thing I learned up there is that heavy blankets and those old style drapes with the white insulation on the back are my friends when hung over windows and doors

I've read on a few posts that placing reflextic  <<<<<{ may be mis-spelled}  under your mattress will make the bed be warmer.  I'm thinking any type of insulation might help.

Whenever I think I'm at the end of my rope and the knot at the end of it is getting frayed & is coming undone...........I just look for a stronger rope and tie a bigger knot in the damn thing.  I do often get discouraged cuz some things just get sideways on me when I least expect it.  Like on 10/27 2 windows on my van shattered and I can't open the side cago slider door until that window is replaced, hopefully this coming Monday.  So for a month the van is loaded with my stuff that I need to sort out and determine what goes where and I can't get to it.  So I just found plenty of other stuff to do in the mean time,

If you Google tiny houses on a Prius

 

[Txjaybird]

 HI AGAIN juliaAnne2018 

 I'm glad to see you're still hanging in there.  The first house I bought in SD cost $2,500,  that was in July 1986.  In March of 1989 I moved into it.  I'm from TX & in March I can wear shorts, tank tops, & flip flops.  I was unprepared for a home that hadn't been lived in for 10 ys and the furnace didn't work either!  I slept on 2 blue "egg crate" mattress toppers on the floor with a borrowed old electric heater sitting up on a milk crate far enough away that if I threw off some bed covers in the night I wouldn't set my happy self on fire  :huh:   I slept with a mans sweater wrapped around my head and tied on with the sleeves.  It was Soooooo Coooold that there was ice on the drapes on the inside of the windows 5ft from where I slept.  It was damn cold for my Texas blood I'm a tellin' ya!  One thing I learned up there is that heavy blankets and those old style drapes with the white insulation on the back are my friends when hung over windows and doors

I've read on a few posts that placing reflextic  <<<<<{ may be mis-spelled}  under your mattress will make the bed be warmer.  I'm thinking any type of insulation might help.

Whenever I think I'm at the end of my rope and the knot at the end of it is getting frayed & is coming undone...........I just look for a stronger rope and tie a bigger knot in the damn thing.  I do often get discouraged cuz some things just get sideways on me when I least expect it.  Like on 10/27 2 windows on my van shattered and I can't open the side cago slider door until that window is replaced, hopefully this coming Monday.  So for a month the van is loaded with my stuff that I need to sort out and determine what goes where and I can't get to it.  So I just found plenty of other stuff to do in the mean time,

If you Google tiny houses built on a Prius car there is a Landscaper in Australia who built one for $150 with reclaimed materials.  I think it's neat myself 

JewellAnn

 

[SteveRn]

I hope you plan on going to the RTR in January.  You will see we are ALL family.  We make a choice to live the way we do, that is not being homeless! Feelings are just that, feelings! Don't allow the feelings to define who you are. You are a writer, who journeys the country, and trust me, there are many many many people wishing they could do the same. Be FREE and experience and celebrate the moment! Be yourself and live the life you choose! You can do this and shout from the top, I'm FREE, FREE at last. Enjoy your travels!

 

[JuliaAnne2018]

I've enjoyed some of these recent messages. The funny part is, I haven't actually traveled far yet. LOL If I could go to the RTR I would, but it probably will not be possible this time around.

I got on this forum originally (along with looking for practical advice), to meet people in case I one day have the chance to go, but it won't be possible. I don't think my situation is that bad. I at least made this temporary shack as much of a home as possible til I get my other one built which I hope won't be too much longer. I originally thought I'd have it finished by October 31st.

I have delays because of a sudden drop in income, but for the most part, I have all I need to stay warm.

If worst comes to worst and I'm stuck here through at least part of winter, I know I can get more stuff to insulate this place, and I have a lot of clothes and blankets and two forms of heat, and I don't worry much about food - always have too much of it.

I'm really hoping I get my house done asap though. There's a spot near where he has to stay now where I can park for $15/night.


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[Brian_and_Jesse]

The ten-day deluge... so far!  

I like the sound of rain on the roof if it’s just a shower, or even if it lasts for a day or so, but after that it’s downright annoying.

We have friends who live in Katmandu, and they’ve just weathered some pretty impressive flooding. They’re okay, thank God, and now *we’re* in danger of serious flooding here.  We’re moving to higher ground tomorrow, but I made a little video (not to be outdone   ) while ensconced in the bathroom, as Brian was sleeping, so the lighting isn’t great.

It’s not just raining, it’s also freezing, and no matter what we do this rig isn’t going to be cozy. Did I mention that I WANT A VAN?  

Love and All Good Things,

Jesse. :heart:
P.S. I can’t post the video from my phone because our hosting place only stores still pictures (didn’t know that),  but I’m guessing that everyone here knows what thundering rain sounds like!

 

[JuliaAnne2018]

To Brian and Jesse: 10 days of rain…ooh…I remember four days in a row back in Sept. when I was trying to get things done outside. It rained here but no flooding. It hailed/snowed a little last week. I'm starting to think I like snow rather than rain but hope not for too much until I get on the trailer. I'm doing the best I can just in case.

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[Watch_Cowspiracy]

If you place your happiness in the judgement of others you're going to have a bad life.

Those who matter, don't mind. Those who mind, don't matter.

 

[JuliaAnne2018]

To WatchCowspiracy, thanks, but I got it under control now. This thread was from a month ago. I thought about closing it, but some interesting discussions came up. I was sharing how I was feeling at one time then moved on from it.

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[JuliaAnne2018]

Actually, it isn't so much anymore about what individuals think. It's the stigma. I'm only bringing this up because I was just in my uncle's garage going through more of my stuff and ran across an old help agency pamphlet that had the criteria for homelessness around here in it, which include living in a car, abandoned building or other place "not suitable for living." I wonder if it's like this in other locations.

I had never realized before how frowned upon this lifestyle is, but this is one reason why I don't want most people to know.

But for now, I can at least say I have access to the house anytime I want.

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[John61CT]

Yes, living in America the way 80% of the rest of the world lives is borderline criminal, get kids taken away for example.

 

[RoamerRV428]

very true. what living conditions are elsewhere in this big old world can be called criminal here and what gets me is some do this by real choice. Not due to any other conditions as forced against their will, mental challenges and more than can put people truly homeless. How I want to live, I mean truly HOW I CHOOSE to live can be called 'below par'....this is what I want away from, society's 'par and checklist'...screw it LOL