Bob, please do not feel badly about the email. I'm sure I did something wrong when I sent it and figured if I posted it to your Forum, you or one of your friends would see it and I would get a response. This is a bit lengthy, but please bear with me. I firmly believe if you want to know about "something" then ask someone who's experienced in that "something". You, Sir, are the acknowledged "GURU" of RV living. I've read your book and the one by Ramana Starfield and I've read everything on your website except your archived blogs. I'm working my way through them from the beginning. The posts about your bout with depression and the post by Jaclyn Heyen really touched me. THANKS so much to both of you.
Perhaps a little history will help. I was a workaholic. I worked 12-18 hours a day, 6-7 days a week from 1974 to 2012. I was a Houston Police officer for 5 years and in that time I went through 2 divorces and 3 shootouts, not all of which were separate from the divorces. LOL. The last shootout was my second wife shooting at me. Luckily she was so drunk she couldn't have hit water if she'd fallen out of a boat. She did however manage to force me to resign from my dream job as a police officer by filing a false affidavit with Internal Affairs claiming I was selling drugs. I spent a week sitting on my couch at home checking the fit of my Colt .45 in my mouth. You may have seen the movie Lethal Weapon starring Mel Gibson. Been there, done that. While doing that I thought of my fourth and fifth grade school teacher, Mrs. Louise Lloyd. Several times a day for 2 years she would tell us "A winner never quits and a quitter never wins". All of a sudden I got really pissed. No one can stop me, except me. I decided I would do something to keep busy. I didn't know what and it didn't matter, just so long as it kept me too busy to think about my situation. I went to Yellow Cab and hired on as an "independent" contract driver. I could work where I wanted, when I wanted for as long as I wanted. I worked until I was too exhausted to drive, slept until I woke up and then did it all over again. I did that for five years. Then I upgraded and started my own limousine business. Fifteen years later I merged my limo business with another one and ran that business for 12 more years. I worked so much that my third wife (of 23 years) divorced me in 2006. As it turns out, that was one of the best things she ever did for us. We became best friends and I developed a very close relationship with our kids. And the funny part was, all of a sudden I had money! We had always just made ends meet and now I had money running out my ears, so to speak. In early 2008 I had a heart attacked due to work related stress. At that point I figured with all the stress in my life I would not live another 5 years. I started buying everything I had always wanted but never had the money to buy. What did it matter? I'd get to enjoy it now and when I died (in the not too distant future) they'd get it back. What did I care? I bought a new house, a new SUV, 3 motorcycles in 2 years, all kinds of electronics, dozens of guns, just about every tool in the world, etc, etc. In 2012 the stress from work got to me. My partners' lack of integrity and my lack of "enough balls" to force them to take care of our employees and customers was more than I could continue to endure. I snapped. It was the middle of the day, in the middle of the week and we were busy as hell. After a very heated argument with one of my partners I just got up and walked out. I sold my shares in the company to one of my partners. I started doing only what I wanted to do, whenever I wanted to do it. Anything and everything. And I started spending money like there was no tomorrow. I suspect I was still very depressed and still assuming I had very few years left to live. It's amazing how beneficial the lack of stress is though. Early last year my cardiologist informed me that he could no longer detect any evidence of my heart attack. He gave me a clean bill of health but insisted that I continue taking my medication to help prevent another one.
So that brings us to now. I'm 62, single and the kids are grown. And I'm broke. I started drawing Social Security as soon as I turned 62 but that's only $1400 a month. I paid off everything I owed, except my house, when I sold my company shares but have since ran up quite a bit of credit card debt. More depression. I'm currently selling some of my gun collection to make ends meet. To keep my house I must go back to work. The thought of getting back into the "rat race" is VERY NAUSEATING!!! The last 3 years have really spoiled me. However, if I sell my house and all the crap I've bought and don't really need, I could easily pay off everything and have a "nice little chunk" left over. With no house, my monthly expenses drop to $755 a month plus food and gas. $300 of that is my HPO health insurance, thanks to HealthCare.gov, otherwise it would be $1000 per month. My one passion is riding my Harley Electa Glide. I've ridden over most of Texas, Big Bend, the Hill Country, East Texas, Arkansas, Smokey Mountains, Sturgis, the Grand Canyon and southern Utah. I have always wanted to see the natural wonders of the United States and would love nothing more than seeing them from the saddle of my iron horse.
I have a 2008 Saturn Oultlook with all options except DVD and navigation which I love and a great motorcycle trailer that tilts. I already have most of the camping equipment I would need. I combed your website and compiled lists of what I have, what I would like to have and what (I think) I must have. I know I could just load up whatever would fit in the Saturn, hitch the trailer and head out but if I spent $1200 for the "must have" stuff it would be much easier. The $1200 would not be a problem. The problem is there is NO WAY all that stuff will fit in my Saturn. If I could trade for a cargo van, that would be much better, especially if I could find one with an extended length and extended top. Another alternative would be a 16' box truck, the down side of that being 8 mpg. Either of which I could easily build out over a little time for less than $5000 (according to my research) which should be no problem. I guess the problem is getting rid of all my stuff and selling the house. I'd like to have it done by mid July and head to Colorado. I realize, as usual, once I finally make my mind up, I'll jump into it with both feet with never a doubt. I always seem to figure out a way to get it done, one way or another.
Of course, on the "UP" side, I don't mind my own company. I can keep myself entertained. I love PBJ sandwiches, bologna, beans, rice, pasta, fruit, nuts and coffee. My grocery costs are actually pretty low. I only wear tee shirts, jeans and sneakers or boots. I rarely drink alcoholic beverages. I don't have to see all of the United States right now. I'm thinking I could stay in NF or BLM. Pick a spot on a paved road or really good gravel for a camp. Spend a few days exploring the area on my Harley. Then move to another area nor too far away and repeat. And just keep on doing that. While this is doable, there would be very little if any reserve cash left and gas and propane are not free.
I don't know Bob. Maybe I just needed to talk to someone and get this off my chest. I suspect I'm not desperate enough yet, even though I know I should be. Any advise or referrals would be appreciated, especially concerning an available vehicle.
I apologize for taking so much of your time. I'm sure there are lots of people out there who need your help more than I do. Thanks for listening.
