Women's Forum: Overwhelmed and coping

[VanKitten]

I am posting this here because I think that women are move susceptible to feelings of being overwhelmed.

Between trying to get the build finished enough to get on the road, being homeless in the meantime, and having serious mechanical issues...all happen at the same time.  I feel my emotional reserves are getting close to dry.

I was counting on an electrician to follow a simple diagram and finish the 12v wiring.  He put me off week after week, and last week admitted he was not going to do the work...BUT..he already took my money.   Said he would pay me back when he could.   Really!   So, I need to just get that done myself.   Which means that I have to stop the other work I was doing to take the time to do that.    But, the mechanic issue I was having has put the RV in the shop for 2 weeks.    Meanwhile, the parts I ordered arrived and they are wrong.  Fighting to get a return authorization has just drained me...and I cannot Afford to keep paying twice to get it done Right once.

The list just goes on and on.   Work that has to be done over because it wasn't taken care of.  Etc. etc.

It had all just put me in a state of depression.

Now, friends are telling me the work that is being done at the mechanic is not needed.   Fine...but, there isn't anywhere else I could have it taken.  No shops will work on an RV...and the RV centers are backed up weeks on their schedules.    This shop was the only one to take this.   If I accuse them of cheating me..I will have to have to towed...but there is no where to tow it.  AND! Because the rear steps were not properly installed...right now the RV cannot even be towed!  

I just want to hide somewhere and wait till next year!!!  

I am feeling that I am getting poor service because I am a woman.   I know that sounds bad, but honestly...when a guy says back to you..."I said I could do it...NOT that I WOULD do it".  (After waiting weeks for him to get it done)... think a 180lbs guy wouldn't punch his face out and force him to honor his deal to do the work?   Think I ever could?

Ok.. just feeling like I cannot function.   I need a break, and I don't see anyway to get one.  
Thanks for listening.

 

[mert6706]

Take your break, (a short one) and then tell yourself the end "Freedom in the great RV community" is going to be worth it. As to how you are feeling, I've been there, done that, not connected with an rv but other stuff. Customer service these days just sucks, no matter what the issue. The end seems to be buyer beware but don't expect any help once you plunk down the $$. I think you are right, some of them try to take advantage of women because they think we are too dumb and/or passive to catch on or fight back. All this not to discourage you further, but to say I agree and sympathize. I think your solution at this point is to get royally PISSED and go back and fight some more. Sometimes they just want you to go away, and if you don't give up and show you have balls (or the equivalent) and are determined to be treated fairly, you might get results, especially the guy that took your money and didn't do the work. Is he licensed? If so, report him to his governing body. Go get 'em!! Don't let the bastards grind you, as my Australian friend loves to say. Keep us posted!!

 

[Cammalu]

Kat I so get it. I know exactly that overwhelming feeling. Where are you? Perhaps someone on the forum is close by and can help?

I've fought so many battles with Camping World it isn't funny. I fonLly got satisfaction but it required a couple of calls to corporate.

I paid Gotsmart to do some work on my RV sometime ago and it's right!


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

 

[CautionToTheWind]

Yes, where are you? Out east I presume?

I wouldn't accept the fact my money was taken and no work in return. If it's a business, that's fraud.

You need support Kat, you've got it here. How can we help? I haven't been on the forum much, what needs to be done?

 

[VanKitten]

Caution.... thank you so much! How kind! Just the offer has lifted my spirits!

I am on the western slope of the rockies...in Colorado.

I started to write out a laundry list of what the bare minimum get on the road. It sounded way too much like whining to me.

I guess it is the mechanical issues that finally corked for me. Not that I have these issues...but I feel that the shop has taken advantage of me. After dealing with the guy blowing me off..right in my face! And having the shop disregard what I told them...only to have it all still unrepaired after another 12 days of no work getting done! Aarrrrgggghhh!

I have been homeless since July 31. I have stayed a few days in cheap motels and few couch surfing...a few in my car. I have a sofa to sleep on for the next 2 weeks. Just really planned to get all this done long before now! As long as I was making progress (or thought I was) I could cope with the day to day grind of it.

Well, now the shop will finally begin to diagnose the problems I brought it there for 12 days ago!
Thank you for letting me whine.

The guy that took my money and didn't even start the work...I am tempted to file in small claims....but, you know I will not be here to do it. He is probably counting on that. I have a friend that recommended him. I told her what a slim he is and what he did. I hope she spreads the word about him.

 

[TexasWoman]

Wow ... thanks for reminding me why I am not getting an RV!

Really hope you can get some help.  It's going to start getting cold  soon up there ....

 

[cyndi]

Ack. I feel for you. I've been in that boat. Put about 2 grand into a transmission over a period of a couple months. A "friend" kept taking my money but not fixing anything. Turns out the idiot that took my money overfilled the sucker. Mike the mechanic aka vonbrown rescued me at the RTR. I need to call him, it's been awhile.

I hope you can figure it out. In the meantime, keep your eye on the prize. FREEDOM!!!

 

[VanKitten]

Cyndi....

Yes, it's all about freedom. It's all about hitting the road in the mobile home of my own making.
Have to keep perspective.... this too shall pass.


Texas....

This has nothing to do with it being an RV. If what you are in has a motor...then you also share that common thread with me.

The RV part of all this is my choice to build one completely from scratch.

I thought I had possibly years. I was the sole caregiver for my elderly parents. I came to Colorado in June of 2016 for that reason. During this past year, both of my parents died. My Mom was last...she passed in June. Took me by surprise. Suddenly I had to do all the work quickly. Hired people to help me get it done.

If I had another year, I would have had the luxury of doing it all myself and doing it all to my standard of pickiness.

But..like I said...this issue is all about the mechanical issues, combined with men not doing follow thru on promised work.

 

[CautionToTheWind]

Thanks for venting, it's okay to vent. Oftentimes in your situation, it can feel as though we're alone. That's what this forum is for! We gotcha VanKitten!

A trusted contact/mechanic is invaluable. I have one locally, he's a trustworthy honest man (in fact I placed him in the "Positive Reviews for Repair and Service Providers" forum).

Keep us posted!

 

[Vanna White]

A trusted contact/mechanic is invaluable. I have 1 locally, he's a trustworthy honest man.  
___________________________________________________________________________________________________

Is he single?

[size=small]Ooops! Wrong forum.[/size]

 

[Queen]

Cat, sorry you're dealing with this endless nonsense, it is just draining to have to rely on other people to do things for you... and have them suck at it! Glad you're seeing some forward progress, fingers crossed for you that it continues and you get to move the hell on.

 

[CoachOnTheRoad]

Kat,

I have no advice but my heart goes out to you! I do think you're right, the journey is somewhat different for women, we have different issues to deal with.

Hang in there!

Mary Ellen

 

[WalkaboutTed]

Cat,
Are you still in the same town as the guy who took your money? If so, this is what you should do: get a poster board, write on it with thick marker, the guy's name and what he did. Put it in your windshield, take a picture of it and email it to him, or print it out and send it to him in some way. If he has a place of business, park on the closest public right of way, and post the sign where his customers can see it.

I've done the above multiple times and it has always worked. The best as when my ex wouldn't pay his child support. With the poster board and the statement of arrears in the rear van window, I parked right out front of the restaurant where he worked. The $3000+ was paid in two days. I used it for a dentist who did a crap job who wanted $400 to fix his mess. I walked in to his office, and gave the staff a big smile (with the broken crown), wearing a pin I had made: "Ask me about my dentist "J**** S****, DDS". The crown was fixed that day

Give it a try. It can't hurt.
Ted

 

[WalkaboutTed]

The above works best in small towns.

 

[Txjaybird]

RK you are right there are some guys that will take advantage of anyone they think doesn't have the knowledge to know what they want or need if they think they can get away with it.  Just like there are some females that prey on others to support them because they are to lazy to get a J O B.

I understand your frustration.  I have days when I wonder what is the point.  It seems like one problem is fixed and then it's not.  I've had a family member tell me it's my fault I'm having so much trouble trying to downsize because I have too many things.  There's only 1 family member that I can talk to about going mobile and thay want to do the same.  I just keep telling myself that I can do this, it's just taking a little longer and costing a little more.  That's on the days I don't just say "Screw It" and Q and I stay in bed watching DVDs, reading and doing the 'net thing.  Sometimes it's good to step back and mentally and emotionly regroup.  It works for me.

To me it's hard to pay others to do things that I have the skills for and just no longer have the strength for.  Luckily I have a good shop that doesn't overcharge and gets the job done even if it takes nemerous time to find the problem and fix it.  Also I have a comfortable apt to stay in so I'm not dealing with the stress you are re: housing


I've been the first and only female heavy equipment operator in a construction co.  The only female Hot Shot driver in 2 trucking co., denied a position in a Caterpillar training program where I was the only female applicant and exceded the  requirements for acceptence.  I've been called to stand up and was fired in a room full of men on the first day of orientation at a trucking co. by the same guy in the company that during his part of my interview had commented " I hope you're not pregnant" and my reply "Me too, If I was it wouldn't be your business ".  I've raised Hell in AL and TX with the labor boards, wage and hour depts, better business bureau , and DOT.  I've been called back by one co. and offered any open position I wanted at any facility they owned.  In one trucking co. I was owed a refund on my tags when I turned them in to the state.  The guy in the co I always talked to said the state was slow.  I called the right state agency and was told that they had sent the check to me to the company and I had signed it and a company rep cosigned it. It was the guy I'd been talking to.  I called the same guy and asked about "has the check arrived" when he said no I said " funny thing the state has it with my forged name and your signature on it,  you have 24hrs before  charges are filed".  I recieved my money   Anybody reading this can see why I think yes some guys will try to get away with what ever they think they can dealing with females.  They're not all bad, we just seem to find them!

This jerk that took your money needs a can of Whup Ass opened up.  If he has a legitimate place of business I'd call the Better Business Bureau.  If he advertizes in the local paper I'd call them.  I had a guy in SD that owed me money and I put big signs made from white freezer paper and black magic marker on both sides of my big Bronco.
  I was the 1st female driver for a chemical fertalizer feeder truck they had ever hired
         
            In my opinion
                    TARA SUCKS       After the signs went on I went to the plant and stated I was going on a 2 county tour &                              Ask me Why              stopping in Sioux Falls at the radio station that did a outside interview with people on                                                                   the street in the afternoon.  I was paid, I was owed, I'd done my job.

I may be more combative than others.  I think that when anyone is robbed or cheated we have two choices one is accept it for whatever reason and just walk away.  There are times when some things are more trouble than they are worth. 
The other choice to me is get VERBAL let them know I'VE BEEN CHEATED AND THIS NEEDS TO BE MADE RIGHT....QUICKLY!  Many years ago my son said to me while shaking his head and smiling " Mama you're the only person I know that people will pay to go away".  To me it's a complment.  If you owe me pay me.  It works both ways.

Maybe someone you know in the area could contact the Jerk with a similar but different 12v problem ask if he can do it and how much $$ and when he would start the job. Record the conversation,  it might come in handy.  If he goes to church call his minister.  Go to wherever you can find him and ask for your money back on the job he didn't do, daily.  It's a war and he is the aggressor.  My 87ys old Mom will tell someone in a heartbeat "Do not start anything with me you cannot finish, I will finish it for you".  She did not raise me....I shudder to think what my attitude in some situations would be like if she had    Yeah Yeah I am like her in some ways

I know you've been thru a lot.  I hope you are able to get everything you need done soon and then 
YOU CAN GET THE HELL OUT OF DODGE!

Jewellann

 

[TrainChaser]

Don't pay for the job in advance. The people who WANT you to pay in advance are the ones who are most likely to cheat you. WARNING LIGHT! WARNING LIGHT!

If that guy has a business listed in the phone directory, go online and give it a review.

Make the sign as suggested above. Put it on a firm backing; if it flaps around, it can't be read. Park across the street if you can, with a big arrow pointing to his place. Better yet, make two of them so people can read it when going both directions. Make the writing as large as you can make fit and still be legible.

Contact the city/county business licensing department and file a complaint. Fraud is fraud. Also call the cops and meet them there. Did you get a receipt for the money you paid? Never pay cash w/o a receipt, and make sure it's a detailed and signed receipt.

Sorry I'm not closer to give you some help.

 

[VanKitten]

ÔI also was for many years the only woman doing a job where only men worked.
I was Systems Programmer back before there were any women in the field.   After 30 years of that..I quit everything and went to the racetrack.   A lot of women hotwalkers..but no grooms were women.   And certainly no women barn managers when I worked there.    I never travelled from track to track on the horse transports like the grooms did...they were all men and I wasn't doing 30 hours straight to Miami with them.   But, in every other way I did the same job but never got the same respect.

When I know my job, I take no sh*t from anyone.    These guys just have me at a disadvantage on all of this.   That and I trust when anyone says to me.."I can do that" and he shakes my hand that the deal is sealed.   Sure do not expect to get "I said I COULD do it, not that I WOULD do it" in my face when I demand to know when this is going to get done.    Wished I was a big guy..I would have punched his lights out.   He did not say he was keeping my money...only said he would pay me back when he could.   Like it was a loan or something.

His place of business is a place way back in the high desert.  He has a dirt driveway about a mile from his building off a desert road.   I am not going to impact his business.   Oh...and do not bother with the BB.  They want you. To agree you will NOT sue.   Plus, you know businesses buy a rating from them....they are not really there for the consumer.

Ok...learned my lesson.   You finish the job..I pay you then.   Plus, do not wait more than a week to see the work has begun.    

Finally, I was a landlord and a property manager for decades.  I can tell you this...you can win the case before a judge, but odds are dead to right you will never collect a penny...even from a business.

Thank you everyone for your kind words and encouragement.

 

[duckwonder]

I can not only relate to the overwhelmed and coping thing, I too am going through it myself.  I am sorry to hear about what you are going through and hope it improves with a relative quickness. You're not alone and I'm not either it seems! Hang in there.

 

[TrainChaser]

The Better Business Bureau is a private organization that doesn't give a rat's ass about non-members.

Go to the County. That wasn't a loan, it was outright theft.

 

[Gardenias]

What about
http://www.ripoffreport.com/
?