WOMENS' FORUM: Do you use your van to take vacations from unhappy husbands

[SilverVoyager]

I know my husband can do it, he’s a carpenter, has all the tools. Two little notches are nothing to him. I really wanted to do this myself, make it MINE. But I may have to ask him for help with this. I really wish I had taken shop classes instead of home ec, but in the 1960s, it wasn’t allowed.
Rats and mice! (That is me cussing up a storm in real life)
Thank you ladies. I’ve been looking at that rubber convention thing in AZ. Maybe next year I’ll go, this year I’m too new, I’ll freeze to death or starve or drown in my own urine because I don’t know where to go! Also my service dog is being spayed on the 18th. I rescued her a month ago, I told her she is retired from breeding, nothing but comfort for her from now on.

 

[OregonMs]

I love my husband and I love to get away on my own, just myself and the dog. Nothing wrong with that.

 

[SilverVoyager]

Still waiting for Hubs to build my bed platform, but he has it planned out in his head. It will cost about $100.
My doggie got her spay but the stitches got a little infected. I guess when they say leave the cone on her all the time, they mean it. You know, the cone collar so she won’t lick her stitches.
But we’ve been out on some day trips. I put a sheepskin cover on her seat that she likes.
Hubs is being a bit angry lately, not sure why, he gets everything he wants. Anyway, any ideas of what kind of tradesman or tradeswoman I would contact to build the bed platform?
Just wondering, do you think someone could live full time in a van on $1,500 a month? I know, there are so many variables, hard to answer. One braid ken doggie leg would completely blow the budget!

 

[Almost There]

Just wondering, do you think someone could live full time in a van on $1,500 a month? I know, there are so many variables, hard to answer. One braid ken doggie leg would completely blow the budget!

Many, many people live as a nomad on less than half that amount.

Sit down and figure out first off your monthly absolute necessities - auto insurance, cell phone, medical insurance keeping in mind that with a lower income you can probably qualify for lower premiums. Add in any fixed monthly costs like prescription drugs. The rest is discretionary spending - food, gas etc. If you're tight on money then travel can be limited. Don't forget to factor in ice if you're using a cooler and town showers to supplement solar showers and sponge baths.

When you're not paying rent and utilities there is usually lots of room.

If you still can't make it fit it's because of some discretionary expenses that are way high- cigarettes and alcohol can add up big time.

Make sure you factor in something for the unexpected expenses like minor auto repairs etc.

As to a broken doggie leg, that is an excellent reason why everyone should have an emergency fund. Most often the amount is recommended to be enough to replace an engine or a transmission in your vehicle but a doggie leg certainly counts!

 

[SilverVoyager]

Thanks Almost There. Hubs says he is going to start on the bed tomorrow! Yay. It is so hard getting up off the mattress on the floor of the van! I’ll get comfy in the back and then, darn, left my phone up front...you know how it goes.
Once the bed is in I’ll have room for a little potty that I plan to put a flat surface on and use as a table. I don’t plan to use the potty unless it’s an emergency.
Last night I ordered, through the Amazon link on this site, a little plug in pot to boil water. With hot water I can have coffee, tea, instant oatmeal, probably a lot of stuff. My van has a plug for regular house current, but I’ll use it while driving, very carefully I guess. It should be nice to have on cold days.

 

[Spark]

Are you all still out there ???
If so I must share with you a military drill that just started today I just found out about it... IT BLOCKS ALL GPS.. AND
IT COMES FROM NELLIS... AND HAS already cased issue...here is the link with the maps of the affected areas.. PLEASE. Note and be wise !!!

According to The Drive, the air war drill is the largest of its kind in the 42-year history, as the United States prepares for a possible conflict on the Korean Penisula

 

[Spark]

My apologies..
Here is the link for the GPS BLACKOUT...
https://www.zerohedge.com/news/2018...-western-us-during-largest-ever-air-war-drill

 

[gp]

ROFL.... I didn't realize so many people were doing this too. I get away 4-5 nights a month and have been doing it for almost five years. It's way cheaper than divorce which would leave me destitute. And DH is so much nicer to me (for about a week) after I return. So goes the process, and it works for me.  Solitude is pure bliss.

 

[SilverVoyager]

Way cheaper than divorce and instead of reading legal documents and meeting with attorneys we will be reading maps and meeting new people.
Hubs is almost done with the frame and legs, tomorrow he’s going to lay the plywood. This is going to give me so much space. I think the platform will be 13” high. I’ll have to go to Walmart and see what they have that will fit under that height. After he’s done though, measurements might change a little.
I can’t wait to try it out!

 

[SilverVoyager]

Update on platform, legs and circumference frame is done. Now he is putting 2x4s across from side to side as support. It looks really sturdy, using screws and thick wood. Brackets here and there for something. He got some plank things called MDS I think, they are already painted white and will go on top of all the framing. He said that there will be no need for a center leg support!
So I’ll have tons of room underneath for storage. Or stuff to break my fall if it collapses!
I bought a bed skirt online to use, it will hide the stuff underneath, and look homey.
He’s been in a good mood the last couple of days so I’ve been keeping him fed well so he will finish my bed.

 

[SilverVoyager]

Bed is finished! Gotta go somewhere tomorrow and try it out. Yay!

 

[SilverFox]

I'm reminded of this quote by the Dowager Countess (Aunt Violet) in Downton Abbey:
[font=Georgia, Times,]Violet: "Robert, people like us are never unhappily married."[/font]
[font=Georgia, Times,]Robert: "What do we do if we are?"[/font]
[font=Georgia, Times,]Violet: "Well, in those moments, a couple is 'unable to see as much of each other as they would like.'"  [/font]

[font=Georgia, Times,]And yes I drove a lot and went on trips to see friends when my husband was being unbearable and cruel. [/font]

 

[crofter]

That's why they call it a " getaway van."  Me personally, I require time in nature to maintain my sanity, and can't blame it on anyone else. (Ditched the significant other about 20 years ago).   -crofter

 

[Janakay]

I'm responding to a old post but; I have been married for 33 yrs now and increasingly feel smothered. Husband provides income but he is totally boring. It is always when we retire. Well its close to retirement and now its "we don't have enough money". I feel like I've been cheated. When I retire in few years I will leave him behind! He can see that with my plans and it is upsetting him. I am stuck. Should I continue as a Donna Reed wife or embrace the current independence of wives these days? He thinks I want to leave him and get divorce, but I just want to experience life before its to late. See you all on road in a few years!

 

[maki2]

Get a conflict resolution counselor to discuss this subject with. This is a financial crisis in your personal life, do not treat it causually, this is a subject matter critical to your whole future. You need to approach this subject with good guidance so you get a positive result that is non offensive to both parties. Many churches have professional counselors as members who off this type of help to other members. I am not talking about marriage or spiritual counseling. Conflict resolution is a specific type of advice that helps people with resolving specific negotiations.

A good, older self help book on this subject is "You Can Negotiate Anything" by Herb Cohen. It might be out of print but there should be used copies available on Amazon. That book saved me a lot of stress as well as many thousands of dollars a number of years back. It is a great skill builder, useful for many situations in your life including marriages as well as during divorces. But also good for everyday situations with businessess, authority figures and with friends.

Not always does childhood teaching or education cover this critical lifelong skill of how to negotiate and of course reach compromise. Fortunately it is not too late to acquire the techniques. You can do this quickly with some advice from professionals.