Today I'm kicking the hornet's nest :)

[MrNoodly]

Evidently, I'm the one who kicked over the hornet nest, ilovemyvan, and you came buzzing out. We experience and see life and the world differently, and that's okay.

 

[ilovemyvan]

Evidently, I'm the one who kicked over the hornet nest, ilovemyvan, and you came buzzing out. We experience and see life and the world differently, and that's okay.

Yap it is. btw, I enjoy following your blog.

Keep having fun as I will.

Nicole

 

[Wanderer]

Ok, first lets all agree to be nice to one an other. All posts, if any, must be kind because, after all, we all like each other here right! :heart:

I've been wanting to point something out for a while now but didn't want to kick the hornet's nest or get my head chewed up. However, I can't help it I need to air it out, so here I go: I don't understand why so many full time van dwellers feel the need to be so condescending towards house dwellers.

I copied the following from an other thread:

"They're doing the normal thing, the familiar thing, so it must be the best choice, the safe choice." 

Nicole

I have no probs with people who feel/believe/think that their way of living is best for them as it is.  On the other hand, I may say (And have) said something which raised the ire of some here and frankly it's a simple miscommunication of my viewpoint, but they sure got way riled...OK, it really was just a humorous post, but rubbed someone the wrong way...

Oh and I have seen some comments which have been the "Bare edge" of civility between people here....Glad most of that was calmed down and sorted out........

BTW I was actually looking at some MH in Alabama...The only thing that set me back? The $300 a month rent....32 miles to the nearest Walmart...Oh well, guess I can still buy a lottery ticket now and then..Staying in my van though....

 

[ilovemyvan]

I have no probs with people who feel/believe/think that their way of living is best for them as it is.  On the other hand, I may say (And have) said something which raised the ire of some here and frankly it's a simple miscommunication of my viewpoint, but they sure got way riled...OK, it really was just a humorous post, but rubbed someone the wrong way...

Oh and I have seen some comments which have been the "Bare edge" of civility between people here....Glad most of that was calmed down and sorted out........

BTW I was actually looking at some MH in Alabama...The only thing that set me back? The $300 a month rent....32 miles to the nearest Walmart...Oh well, guess I can still buy a lottery ticket now and then..Staying in my van though....

I'm not sure which post got you in trouble, I'm sorry you found yourself in hot water because of a misunderstanding. As you already observed, English is a second language for me. I'm not always certain that how I'm saying something is reflecting the tone I intend. I was so glad when emoji come into play. As the saying goes "A picture is worth 1,000 words". It might help you too.

Good luck with finding a new place. How long have you been living in your van?

Nicole

 

[Coffee Tim]

I don't think this forum is unhealthy at all. I don't want to simply walk away. The goodwill and kindness here are quite special. I only wanted to point out a little flaw. B&S dwellers are not brain washed, that's all.

Cheers, I wish there was an emoji raising a martini glass.  

Nicole

I was not saying that this forum is unhealthy.  I was pointing out that communication is often misunderstood.  Also, I choose to walk away from situations that I think are unhealthy.

 

[Wanderer]

I'm not sure which post got you in trouble, I'm sorry you found yourself in hot water because of a misunderstanding. As you already observed, English is a second language for me. I'm not always certain that how I'm saying something is reflecting the tone I intend.  I was so glad when emoji come into play. As the saying goes "A picture is worth 1,000 words".   It might help you too.

Good luck with finding a new place. How long have you been living in your van?

Nicole

4 years come July 22nd...Come May 20th it's three years I quit smoking....

Finding a new (Used) van is in the cards, but when is a debate..I only mentioned the MH in AL as I was curious as to COL down there...

Still better to be in van...

 

[Txjaybird]

:huh:    Whats a emoji and do they bite?                       TJB

 

[GotSmart]

Finding a new (Used) van is in the cards, but when is a debate..I only mentioned the MH in AL as I was curious as to COL down there...

Still better to be in van...

There is a reason the COL is so little.

Humidity, ticks, weather events.

 

[ilovemyvan]

:huh:    Whats a emoji and do they bite?                       TJB

You bet they bite Have a look at these teeth

Nicole

 

[Every Road Leads Home]

Ok, first lets all agree to be nice to one an other. All posts, if any, must be kind because, after all, we all like each other here right! :heart:

I've been wanting to point something out for a while now but didn't want to kick the hornet's nest or get my head chewed up. However, I can't help it I need to air it out, so here I go: I don't understand why so many full time van dwellers feel the need to be so condescending towards house dwellers.

I copied the following from an other thread:

"They're doing the normal thing, the familiar thing, so it must be the best choice, the safe choice."

Keep in mind communication relies on body language and tone of voice just as much as spoken words.  With virtual communication like forums and texting we lose two of the three and thus a lot of things get misinterpreted.  It can be very easy to read to far between the lines and what would have been a very non hostile, non confrontive, non judgmentive response ends up being taking as such. Now this isn't always the case but I always take a step back when I get mad at something I read as lots of the time it's just me reading too much into it.

 

[ilovemyvan]

Keep in mind communication relies on body language and tone of voice just as much as spoken words.  With virtual communication like forums and texting we lose two of the three and thus a lot of things get misinterpreted.  It can be very easy to read to far between the lines and what would have been a very non hostile, non confrontive, non judgmentive response ends up being taking as such. Now this isn't always the case but I always take a step back when I get mad at something I read as lots of the time it's just me reading too much into it.

"They're doing the normal thing, the familiar thing, so it must be the best choice, the safe choice."

I used the above as an example, not as the one and only comments of this sort. I guess I'll have to readjust my 'touchy sensor'. We were out there for many years. I still fell like one of the tribe. I shouldn't let negative comments about S&B dwellers affect that sense of belonging <= Ya, maybe that's how I should have phrased it. :s

Nicole

 

[GotSmart]

"They're doing the normal thing, the familiar thing, so it must be the best choice, the safe choice."    :dodgy:


"They're doing the normal thing, the familiar thing, so it must be the best choice, the safe choice."  :huh: 



"They're doing the normal thing, the familiar thing, so it must be the best choice, the safe choice."  for them   


"They're doing the normal thing, the familiar thing, so it must be the best choice, the safe choice."  


"They're doing the normal thing, the familiar thing, so it must be the best choice, the safe choice."   :-/

"They're doing the normal thing, the familiar thing, so it must be the best choice, the safe choice."


]Now how does each sentence make you feel?

 

[AltTransBikes]

 I don't understand why so many full time van dwellers feel the need to be so condescending towards house dwellers.

Nicole

Hi Nicole. Blame Chris Farley, a kind of reverse schadenfreude.

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Jus' kidding, but seriously, I get your  point, there are things in life that can befall us that none will know the full extent of, you know what's right for you, better to hold to one's own counsel in such matters.

All the best

 

[ilovemyvan]

Hi Nicole. Blame Chris Farley, a kind of reverse schadenfreude.

<iframe src="//giphy.com/embed/JGfYvkS6QiABa" width="480" height="320" frameBorder="0" class="giphy-embed" allowFullScreen></iframe><p><a href="">via GIPHY</a></p>

Jus' kidding, but seriously, I get your  point, there are things in life that can befall us that none will know the full extent of, you know what's right for you, better to hold to  one's own counsel in such matters.

All the best

 

[Richard]

I guess I'll have to readjust my 'touchy sensor'. ... I shouldn't let negative comments about S&B dwellers affect that sense of belonging

In all fairness to you, Nicole, it's also the case that there shouldn't be any negative comments about S&B dwellers to affect your, or anyone else's, sense of belonging. Everyone has a role to play in the communication process, and fair is fair, right?

Since I'm new here, The Rules of the Forum: February, 2014 are still fresh in mind. The bold emphasis is in the original page; I've colored red the parts that I think probably apply to the situation overall. As a friendly reminder to us all, I'll share those parts below:

---

Spirit of the Law:

Every post should somehow make members's lives better. We are here to be helpful, kind and supportive. ... But every post should make someones life better and easier.

If your posts make other members lives harder or unpleasant you are forcing the moderators to make a decision between the whole forum and you. Please understand, we will choose the forum every time! 

Letter of the Law:

1) No political discussions. Half of us have opposite political opinions with the other half and we are not going to change each other minds. That means there is nothing to be accomplished by political discussions except anger and frustration and that does nothing to help anyone. Political posts will be deleted.

2) Don’t ever attack, belittle or denigrate anyone. If you have something bad to say about someone, keep it to yourself. This includes politicians, police officers and the homeless. You can hate them if you want, but you don’t get to spread your hate here. 

3) Don’t judge other member’s posts or opinions. It’s perfectly fine to disagree or offer a counter point of view, but never in a negative way. An attitude of “I’m right and know more than you!” creates an unacceptable negative atmosphere. I’ve had people tell me they were afraid to post here because they were afraid someone would mock or belittle them. Any posts like that will be deleted.

4) Don’t be a know-it-all or dismissive of others. We’re family and we’re here to help and support each other. So before you hit the “Send” button, ask yourself if what you are writing is helpful and supportive or is it to make you feel better about yourself. Are you just trying to prove you’re smarter than everyone else and you’re right and their wrong? That turns into fighting and bickering over nothing and that makes this an unpleasant place for people who come here in need.

 

[GotSmart]

The way I see things, from my training and real world experience is this.

Not everyone sees things the same way.

Not everyone interprets things the same way.

People focus on different things.

Here is a real life experience I had when I kicked an actual hornets nest.   My brother and I had gone blackberry picking.  We were walking along the river bank.  My big brother, being a big brother, told me to kick an old can sitting by the path.  He kept walking.  I kicked the can, and it had a hornets nest in it. (He knew this!)  I took off running towards my brother, while he stopped to laugh at me.  I got to him, and jumped down the river bank.  He was left with the angry hornets and got stung.  

Same situation, I focused on escaping, and he focused on laughing at me.     I got a beating from him, but he got one from my parents.