When my #3 son at nine, was suspended from school (in the 90s- I was a single mom of four boys), I said, "well, it's time for the belt". He immediately said "you can't do that, it's child abuse". I opened the phone book to Child Protective Services and told him to call them and tell them what I was going to do. He did call them and after he had a nice conversation with a case worker (I never spoke to her), she ended up telling him that he deserved it and that he should not waste their time calling them again.
My #4 son watched his older brothers, got one spanking at 5 and never again needed one.
In my house, if Momma ain't happy, nobody is happy. And don't bother me in the morning until after coffee and newspaper unless the house was on fire or someone was bleeding on the carpet.
I let my 12 year old wander around Tokyo, including the subway by himself. All my kids flew transcontinentally and internationally by themselves. #4 (at 11) ended up in LAX intl terminal having flown unaccompanied from Phoenix to go on a 16 hour flight to Singapore. They didn't want to let him in the plane without an adult, but with a Mom not answering a phone in Arizona and Dad in Singapore, they had no choice.
I let my kids play with knives and fire - with supervision. That's the only way to learn not to get burnt. College three of them, one six years a Marine, one 7 years in the Navy and the youngest still (6th year) in the Army. All of them were shocked at how easy the boot camps were. "Mom, they're all ******* there!" They're all good boys, upstanding citizens. .
I don't think I would get away with my "parenting" nowadays.
