The reality of not having a home, and getting old.

Van Living Forum

Help Support Van Living Forum:

This site may earn a commission from merchant affiliate links, including eBay, Amazon, and others.
One can do everything "right" and plan for "old age" all they want, but there's no guarantee. A crash like 2008 can come along and knock one back, and then another situation can come along and wipe out what's left of college and retirement funds. Or one may not have been in a position to grow much in the way of retirement in the first place---somebody has to work the service jobs. Just because a person is "set" doesn't mean that others who aren't as fortunate didn't do things "right." May those that think this never lose their naivete by having the rug pulled out from under them.
 
Queen said:
I was thinking Stoker?

That could be.
Most of what I know about steam engines I've learned from Thomas the Tank Engine (and Friends) or from "Atlas Shrugged".
 
Great topic as this applies to us as we approach our eighties.  For the most part we followed the route of the American Dream and succeeded beyond expectations.  However, once we retired in our fifties, a glitch occurred when our annuity company went bankrupt in our early sixties costing us over half a million of our nest egg. Add that to an earlier divorce that wiped out my pension, and all of a sudden in our sixties all of that money saved for retiremend was diminished...gone with the wind. At first, I just said we'll work at interesting jobs and travel the world for the next ten years.  Actually, it worked well for 12 years into our seventies, then my new wife of 26 years started to have aches and pain in her legs so that slowed us  down a bit from our hiking, biking and kayaking activities.  We moved into a cozy apartment last year after full-timing for seven years in our Lazy Daze RV.

To be honest, I prefer to be RVing, but my wife is complete with that lifestyle. So I have learned to compromise with purchasing a new van a few months ago which I am converting into a camper.  This has become a great project that should keep me going into our nineties.  For those years if we run out of monies, we'll buy a lot in an Escapees Park in Oregon for the summer and one in Arizona for the winter, although our kids have already invited us to move into their rental condo at any time.
Problem is, once we lose our independence, it's all downhill after that. 

We had a good friend take his own life a few months ago because he was finished with his life long pursuits and goals. He talked to us about it still in decent health at age 84 with no financial worries. He didn't want to be burden to his wife or kids or wait until his health declined so he was no longer independent.   We had another couple of friends move into a retirement home.  Visited them once over dinner.  Depressing! That's when I decided to get the van, my eventual retirement home.
 
The verdict is in.

Cerebrovascular disease, Carotid stenosis, 

Fancy names for brain farts.  

Basically the small arteries in my brain are getting clogged, and causing the mini strokes.  The kids have put me on a strict diet, and I need to avoid all stress.   :rolleyes:  

Folks, this is the one you don't want to get.  I am aware of not remembering, and that makes it worse. 
I am only 57, and too young for this shit.  At least I got in some time vandwelling.
 
So sorry to hear that. If you don't mind, I'll include you in my prayers.
 
Stephen said:
We are semi being forced into it. We both want to travel but we are moving into our daughters home as a home base because we can't afford to live in New York once the wife retires. Property taxes here make it impossible. Was I a heroin addict? Was I an alcoholic?

No, I left a pretty nice job to go into the ministry. What I got was a salary that was barely enough to live on and no benefits. When I disagreed with a bit of doctrine I was declared a heretic I was thrown out of the church and thrown out of the church housing I had. We had one week to move our family. 

Yes, getting old can suck. Not having enough, whatever it is, can suck. I plan on living the rest of my life, however long that might be, with a much different mind set. I ain't drinking' the Kool-aid any longer. I am dropping the consumerist life like a hornet's nest. I will travel as much as I can and live my life to the best of my ability.

Stephen, go to Youtube and find a channel called Becky's Homestead.
 
anewbiewannabe said:
One can do everything "right" and plan for "old age" all they want, but there's no guarantee.  A crash like 2008 can come along and knock one back, and then another situation can come along and wipe out what's left of college and retirement funds.  Or one may not have been in a position to grow much in the way of retirement in the first place---somebody has to work the service jobs.  Just because a person is "set" doesn't mean that others who aren't as fortunate didn't do things "right."  May those that think this never lose their naivete by having the rug pulled out from under them.

Thank you for stating this!  My brother is one of those naive people.  After I had survived a tornado, tropical storm and early season snowstorm in the span of 5 months and having to move into a roach filled rooming house because it's all that was left which wiped out my $5000 in savings he still told me I should have planned ahead! /face palm
 
Queen:  “It's either the next grand adventure or nothingness, I'm good either way.”

It’s not the destination that’s the problem, it’s the last bit about getting there.

VanMan2300:  “I would love to see a survey done on the 50 plus year ago who are homeless to see how many can't support themselves because they are running into ageism.”

WHAT?  Do you mean working all your life just to have it annihilated by circumstances that were never within your control, and then not being able to get a job because the 30-yo manager doesn’t want to hire someone who might be a threat his job because they know more than him???

SimonLea: “ I was mostly afraid of what my friends, family, and co-workers would think…  I was so weary of being afraid.”

Being controlled by other people’s whims and beliefs can destroy you.  There’s only one, single, solitary person that you have to account to:  Yourself.  And sometimes that realization is kind of late in coming.

Vagabound:  “In some European countries, their mental hospitals are minimal… because almost no one is in them… Those people are still living in the communities, where family and friends care for them, with the help of medical professionals who do frequent home visits, and the larger community goes out of their way to integrate the person as a full member…”

A long-time NYC schoolteacher said that our govt bases their decisions on ‘divide & conquer’ (I’m not trying to be political, but when something this serious is caused by politics, the problem/solution/results are tied together).  He said that in the U.S., the family is deliberately separated:  the kids spend about six hours in school and half that again with homework, both of which divides them from the family.  Also, it is economically difficult to have the funds to raise and educate a family w/o both parents working, which also divides the family.  And when the grandparents get older, the division is complete when it is expected that they will go into a retirement home or assisted living.  Back in the ‘olde dayes’, Mom was at home, she was homeschooling the kids, and the grandparents moved in with them when they couldn’t manage on their own.  The family was integrated, rather than divided.

Many of the Asian families still work together:  they come to this country, often with not much more than the clothes they’re wearing.  They get any kind of job they can, no matter how menial.  They rent a house and three families live in it, pooling their resources.  Together, they manage to buy or lease a piece of land to grow food crops and sell most of it (eat the rest), and most of them work on that farm; the ones who are too infirm to work watch the young children.  When they’re old enough, the children help in the fields.  With the proceeds of their labor, they buy a tractor and another piece of land.  They work together to GROW.  Exactly opposite to that, young Americans either leave home and go out on their own as ASAP, or stay home and play computer games while their parents support them into middle age.  Which concept makes the most sense? Which one does our country promote?

What about medical care here vs other countries?  Theirs is based on caring for people; ours is based on making money.   We pay a fortune for medications that were created here; but you can get the same stuff in Mexico or Canada (and probably other places) for a fraction of the cost.

Steamjam1: “(I can't for the life of me remember what the position is called, but its the fella who useto keep the steam engine boilers warm at night on commuter lines.)”

On trains, they were called ‘firemen’.

“As long as they stay working doing what they are doing, they stay relevant.”

Sometimes.  For others, that’s all they know; they’ve never developed hobbies or other interests – their lives have always revolved around Work.  W/o it, they are unable to adapt.

Tussah:  “…the only security I know of in life is having a close circle of family and friends who will help take care of each other.”

It’s nice when you’ve got it, but many Americans are conditioned to consider being depended upon as a nuisance.  I know quite a few older people who haven’t seen their adult children in years; they’re nice people, but their children don’t see the need, don’t want to provide, and simply ignore the fact that their parents are reaching the point where they need help.  That need is inconvenient; all they want to provide are brochures for assisted living facilities.

ERLH:  “There's no possible way to prepare for every situation.”

Fifty or sixty years ago, many people got a job when they left school and kept it until they retired.  They had a pension they could depend upon, because it was banked.  They had family who would help, if needed.

There is no way in ‘ell that people in those days could foresee the financial disasters that we’ve been going through.  The 401(k) boondoggle was created to supplement pensions, but then they became the pensions and the victims absorbed the losses; the banked pensions became obsolete (the railroads are the only holdouts, and even they are now in danger).  Also unpredictable were the seriously unstable stock markets, the export of nine million jobs to slave-labor countries, the periodic economic crises, stagnant wages, the use of Social Security to support drug addicts and as a private piggybank for politicians, rapidly escalating health care costs, rampant job insecurity, etc, etc, etc.  There are people now in their 40s who are absolutely CERTAIN that nothing will happen to mar their plans for retirement.
 
GotSmart, I'm really sorry to hear that.  At your 'young' age, is surgery a possibility?

You might want to investigate the benefits of Vitamin K2.  Vitamin K1 is the one for blood clotting, but K2 isn't that.

A very readable book on the subject is Vitamin K2 & the Calcium Paradox:  How a Little-Known Vitamin Could Save Your Life by Kate Rheaume-Bleue (2013).  If your library doesn't have it, ask the librarian if you could get it on an InterLibrary Loan (ILL).

I believe the normal effective dose is about 200-230mcg/day.  I do not remember reading about any negative effects unless you are allergic to soy, as most of them are soy-based, but there are others that aren't.

And ask your doctor if he knows about it, and see if he's even heard of it.  It's a relatively new concept, although the beginning research began in the 1930s and 40s.  MAKE SURE he understands that it is Vitamin K2 and not K1.
 
steamjam1 said:
As long as they stay working doing what they are doing, they stay relevant.

I work in IT.  I own a home ... er well ... I have a mortgage and car note.

I work and I'm pretty irrelevant.

I don't want their relevance I want my freedom.

To hell with their goals and profit margins.  They don't give a shit for me.  I'm just a money making cog for some fat cat.

I suppose I'm lucky that I have the wherewithal to start this journey with a decent vehicle that will meet my needs and even provide some of my wants.  I'll still need to generate income but I don't ever want to have another JOB ever again.

I'd rather walk off in to the woods and get eaten by a bear than stay in corporate America doing this shit.
 
ZZZ, PLEASE.... Tell us how you REALLY feel!  (why don't we have a smiley with little horns and a big grin?)
 
TC,

Very interesting reply.


(TrainChaser)
Do you mean working all your life just to have it annihilated by circumstances that were never within your control,

and

and then not being able to get a job because the 30-yo manager doesn’t want to hire someone who might be a threat his job because they know more than him???

and

A long-time NYC schoolteacher said that our govt bases their decisions on ‘divide & conquer’ 

and

Many of the Asian families still work together

Control:  That first sentence is a statement of fact, but we're conditioned to see it as an opinion.  And once we see it as an opinion, it _could_ be wrong, and so it _might not_ apply to us/me.  The fact is, it has the potential to apply to every one of us. A lot of society rides on the illusion of control, just like the illusion that money is actually in your bank account.

30-yr old manager:  Well said. Another truth that 30-yr old managers will never fully understand, until at least in their 50's, and by that time, it's too late.  But the people who really annoy me are all of the young, certain, typically conservative ones who pop their mouths off about how people should just "go get a job", without the life experience to even know what they're talking about.  I know.  I used to be one of those.  You'd think that would make me sympathetic to their ignorance, but somehow, not so much.

Divide and Conquer:  Maybe.  I don't ascribe benevolence to many anymore, especially not to institutions (government agencies, corporations, etc).  However, I'm on the side of greed and incompetence as the more likely explanations.  On the other hand, if we were to stick with the D&C theory, critical thinking demands that we ask "why".  What would the purpose be of the D&C?  What kind of C exactly?  Not some goofball "Boy Scouts blew up the World Trade Center" nonsense, but real, practical, feasible purpose.  Maybe here this must remain a rhetorical question.

Asian families:  As long as we stick to complementing the general, universal notion of "working together", I can mostly agree.  If, on the other hand, you dig 1" below the surface of that Asian stereotype, you'll find something very different.  I have lots of years embedded in and observing one of those cultures, so I'm not just spouting unpopular, unfounded things.  That said, I think Americans could be far more authentically successful at that game, if we ever truly put our minds to it.  Unfortunately, for that to happen, we'd need something similar to a cultural DNA modification.


(steamjam1)
...
To hell with their goals and profit margins.  They don't give a shit for me.  I'm just a money making cog for some fat cat.
...
I'll still need to generate income but I don't ever want to have another JOB ever again.

I'd rather walk off in to the woods and get eaten by a bear than stay in corporate America doing this shit.

Amen brother.

Vagabound
 
This is getting stupid.  

1.  I am not "Asian", but my family has ALWAYS taken care of the young and elderly.  All my income has gone to helping my children, and now they are watching out for me. This is what family does. I have seen it in every culture.  

2.  I worked hard until I needed spinal surgery.  Then I got a college education in my 40's.  Top of my class, but I was blocked because the employers did not want to hire someone with almost 30 years of experience. I had to go back into the labor intensive trades and finish destroying my body. More surgery, and now something that can not be fixed.  

3.  I lost 4 homes to either the economy, or divorce.  Either way there were plenty of bottom feeders to kick me while I was down, or to set me up to fail.    

I kept going, because that is what a parent does to feed their children.   

Reality is there is a large growing demographic that has no family to help, and is forced on the road to try to survive.  Many of them are seniors. If it were not for the help found on this forum, a lot of people would make mistakes that could be fatal.  

Growing old sucks. Especially when you do not have a million dollars to fall back on.
 
Got Smart,  Firstly I am so sorry to hear of your current health issues.  

I am like you in that I was raised to care for family and home, and did that to the best of my ability. 

I also know /feel for sure that as I age and my poor health becomes worse I definitely will be on my own.
I am prepared for this in that it will not be a surprise.

I have known folks who to me seem totally unprepared for this type of situation.  I think  that often we raise our families  to a certain standard of values and as the older we get and the younger they get the values change as their life interests change.  I would love to grow old/er with my 8 Grandchildren nearby.  For various reasons I doubt that will happen.  But you never know things do change as time passes, sometimes.

Jewellann
 
Posts have been deleted. You've crossed the line into political madness
 
Top