Women Only The Girls Room is for Women Only

[FlowerGirl]

Thank you, Bob, for taking the big risk of being seen as exclusionary by some members. Thank you for modeling the prioritization of principles above all else....
By helping us women have a "safe space" to share, you are helping many of us women gain the confidence to live a bigger life as we learn from other women who are similarly vulnerable in certain ways.

Having a man tell me to approach traveling with a fearless demeanor, to drop the "negative, fear-based thinking" about security on the road is about as useful as having a male gynecologist tell me about my period or the pain of childbirth. There are some things a man simply cannot know about a woman's experience and vice versa.

THANK YOU for your generous spirit, so very evident all over this website.

 

[heron]

Thank you, Bob. Doing work that was traditionally not "women's work" ( as if there is such a thing) most of my life, I've been pretty comfortable around men. Interestingly, when I stopped doing that work to take care of my husband, I started being treated very differently, by the same people who'd respected my opinion and abilities. That was really a wicked blow, but the greatest result was that I came to appreciate the women in my life in a much different way, and to value immensely spaces in which we can speak honestly with each other. I thank you for seeing that value, too, and for the kindness of your philosophy.

 

[Kat_]

Is there a women’s only forum that is not available for public view?  
I have some  specific questions about my vandwelling/divorce/custody issues that if I make public I’m sure my soon to be X will find them.  (He and his girlfriend are excellent internet stalkers and have tried to cherry pick Facebook posts to make me look bad.) 
Thank you,

 

[WalkaboutTed]

There is a women only forum on another vandwellerforum that is not visible to men, not even male members. (I couldn't help myself!)
Ted

 

[Kat_]

There is a women only forum on another vandwellerforum that is not visible to men, not even male members.  (I couldn't help myself!)
Ted

Haha.  
Any chance you can PM me the info?  Thanks!

 

[Gardenias]

Kat_, it's in the sentence.

 

[ladeeblaze]

Thank you Bob! God has blessed you with such wisdom. It seems like quite a few women can relate to the loss of a husband...I am so happy to have like minded women, not saying we will always be sad, unhappy, stuck, lost and just plain confused. I am one to always have a smile, but no one knows how much I cry and hurt. Calvin just died in July so it is still fresh. I do not have a lot of friends, my mom... I think she wants me to pick myself up and get it together...kinda hard!!! So here is where I am. I have starred getting rid of stuff. Some of my "stuff" will have to come with me because I am not ready yet. After some time I guess I will give them away just not today. Some ladies on this site has come along side... I thank you so much!!! I pray that I will meet you.. I ow you all a hug.
By the way let me explain hugs for me... I love touch that is my love language. I will hold anyone's hand, touch a shoulder, bump a shoulder... I believe that is what is wrong with this world, we are crated to touch and we don't enough. Sorry getting on my soap box!!! Hugs!!

 

[Elsie]

Bob, every time you post in the forum or on your blog, I am more blown away by your wisdom and lovingkindness. Thank you.

Love the dirty dog.  That is most what I am looking forward to - having a traveling companion with four legs!!

 

[Nutball]

There are women who have had such bad experiences with men that they are scared and uncomfortable with them. I want to be sure they have a safe place here. Beyond that there are many issues that women would rather address in private and don't need men butting in. This forum exists to help people, not to protect Truth, Justice and the American Way. If someone is more concerned with concepts and their ego instead of helping people, this simply is not the place for them.<br><br>I've known women forced into living in their cars and they are terrified and alone. The next step for them is a bag lady pushing a cart.&nbsp; I care about them and when they reach out to us for help, they are all that counts. We have one goal here, to help people live their best lives.

I totally agree with this! Thank you, but as a middle-aged (senior?) woman who just completed a degree, I can tell you that this position is controversial around gen-z-ers. I got into a pretty contentious debate with a trans female in a class where I argued that a specific female-only group was justified because a woman of my age has experienced discrimination that a young, affluent, attractive white male-born person will never experience, and in this particular context I should be able to choose to limit my interactions to others who have empathy- why should I need to explain or justify my life? I was accused of being an evil TERF. I don’t even remember what this stands for. To be clear, I’m not denying anyone’s experiences, just acknowledging differences. I’m sorry to post this, but I thought that this perspective on gender-exclusivity should at least be mentioned. It’s probably irrelevant, since the forum is for whoever identifies as female, but generally gender exclusivity bothers many young people, especially in academia.

 

[maki2]

University is the place where many young people ar deeply involved in the process of trying to figure out who they are and what their world views are.

Best to let them get on with it without someone over thirty telling them how and what they should be thinking.

Do not take it personally. Truthfully lots of changes are needed ...and there is nothing new about that.

 

[Morgana]

Well said, maki2, but here are a few points from another POV:

University is a place where [young] people learn (or should learn) how to reason and how to debate (including how to disagree). This is hard work. If they're taught, instead, that it's enough to righteously condemn anything they disagree with, then both the university and the students are failing in their task. And it's the students who will suffer most by not building up their mental muscles.

All young people are figuring out who they are, not just the privileged few who attend university. That doesn't give them carte blanche to treat other people however they want. (How you treat other people is a big part of who you are, anyway.) The university is there to challenge them and push them to develop strengths, not to be their ersatz parent, shrink, or cheerleader. If you wouldn't accept it from a shoestore clerk, you probably shouldn't accept it from a classmate. (Well, I suppose that depends on how you treat shoestore clerks, but you know what I mean.)

It's not a question of the youngs vs the olds. Plenty of young people are intimidated by current practices, and plenty of older people go to university. (I got most of my education after age 30.)

It's true that lots of changes are needed. But lots of changes were needed in Germany in 1932 too. What changes are made and how they are made matter enormously.

^^
All of that said, of course it's an open question just how vigorous debates should get (something we experience here in the forums too

 

[maki2]

I started college in the late 60s. Lots of label slinging was going on over all kinds of issues. Grey Panthers were active back then.

Transgender people are not getting equal rights or unconditional acceptance. It is not too surprising some individuals are in ready for battle mode.

A few years ago at the age of 60 I was enrolled in the CNC machining course at the local college. Not only was I by far the oldest student, I was also the only female and the only student who had lots of previous experience with manufacturing and various aspects of the course work. Of course it did not stop the sexual harrassment but I was used to that and could put a stopper in their mouths with a few words of wisdom...such as do you want to get kicked out of the program? I can easily arrange that for you in just a couple of minutes.

 

[BelgianPup]

Way too many people seem to think that the world actually revolves around what they think and say, and age doesn't seem to have much to do with it. Unfortunately.

 

[scaredycat72]

I started college in the late 60s. Lots of label slinging was going on over all kinds of issues. Grey Panthers were active back then.

Transgender people are not getting equal rights or unconditional acceptance. It is not too surprising some individuals are in ready for battle mode.

A few years ago at the age of 60 I was enrolled in the CNC machining course at the local college. Not only was I by far the oldest student, I was also the only female and the only student who had lots of previous experience with manufacturing and various aspects of the course work. Of course it did not stop the sexual harrassment but I was used to that and could put a stopper in their mouths with a few words of wisdom...such as do you want to get kicked out of the program? I can easily arrange that for you in just a couple of minutes.

So bad ass! I so need this example of an empowered woman living her truth in the world, especially when I'm full of self-doubt and trying to overcome the societal brain washing of women shouldn't be too much.

I just got booted from a vanlife group for losing my cool after 2 women started bullying me and this "man" jumped in to help them. It got really ugly, really quickly. I was upset when I first got booted and now I'm really, really proud of myself. I take no crap and no prisoners. If that's not a fit for some groups, ah well. I'll always have this forum where bullying isn't allowed.