Terrified

[Tristina]

Hey!! Youall 
I've always been a independent woman who had a can do attitude.
Now that I'm more mature I am experiening apprehen,and indesiveness,  I don't know why???
I served in the arm forces I NEVER had feeling like these.
I live in so-cal things are so fricken expensive I can bearly make rent & bill each month.
I need to make a decision.
I have decided to fix my truck up, pack it up and leave.
But where to go???? What will I face ???
I have nobody to turn to ..... All are gone .... Just me a dog & cat.
This feeling is odd to me in the past I always had a mission, or destination, however now ??????
I don't wanta die like this sitting alone with no clue of what to do.
I thank you for the YouTube channel it has given me hope.
My brothers always told me " Tina you need to grow a pair. " (lol as if   )
Yep I agree sooooooo 
I'm making my mind up to find adventure soon.
Please keep up encouraging vids they are truly inspiring
Thank youall again 
Peace ✌

 

[Cammalu]

Tristina, Once you take that step you will be fine. I'm also a vet and kinda stuck with medical issues for a bit but I'll be out as soon as I can. There are a ton of women on the road.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

 

[Vacilador]

What branch did you have the pleasure of serving with?
  
Know whatcha mean about anxiety suddenly popping up for no apparent reason.  Have learned a few things: there's always an underlying cause, that the cause is always temporary, that you can just talk to the irrational bits and either make them go away or just get their noise down to some light yapping, and that the VA likes to prescribe medication (unless it's expensive, a scheduled substance, or controversial).

Anyway, purposeful action is usually a good thing.  You don't have to make a major decision and pack up right away, just get what you need to take a few weekend trips and do it.  Spend a weekend at a casino or somewhere with free, safe, boondocking.

Looking forward to meeting you at the 2017 Rubber Tramp Rendezvous.  Not a far drive from where you are?

 

[SternWake]

Anxiety and apprehension are inevitable stages to any process, just like procrastination.

A day or two away from the simpering selfishness of southern California will have your confidence lifted.

Kind of hard for me to leave the Pacific when inland is so dang hot, but when a road trip is calling, Listen.

 

[rvwandering]

Welcome to the CRVL forums Tristina! I think all of us are a bit apprehensive whenever we're about to make any kind of change. It's natural so don't worry about it too much.
Take your time. Fix your truck so that you'll be comfortable. Save as much money as possible to give yourself an emergency fund. Keep watching the videos. I'm sure that you noticed the many woman who are van dwelling and traveling. You won't be alone. Come out to the RTR in Quartzsite in January and join us!

To help you learn the ins and outs of these forums, this "Tips & Tricks" post lists some helpful information to get you started. We look forward to hearing more from you.

 

[TrainChaser]

Baby steps.  What kind of truck rig do you have?  Just a pickup?  With a plain camper shell (aka canopy) on it?  Or a regular camper unit with 'stuff' installed in it? 

If you've got just a shell and nothing else, get it ready for a weekend of use:
Measure crosswise inside (above the 'lip' connection), deduct about one inch* of length for a platform bed.  Decide how wide you want the bed (probably at least 3 feet, but more would be better if pets sleep with you).  Go to Home Depot or Lowe's and get a sheet of non-fancy 3/4" plywood and  have them cut it to your written dimensions.  Take the scraps home with you.

Go to an upholstery store and get a piece of 4" thick sofa foam.  If they can cut it for you, cut it to your plywood length PLUS one inch.  Now  you've got a bed with storage underneath.  Non-fitted twin sheets work fine, and they don't even have to match.  Blankets and pillow.

Cooking:  a small propane stove with a stable base.  A small pot and small frying pan for cooking, a large pot for heating water for dishwashing and bathing.  The usual plate/bowl/utensils.  Matches in a watertight box, and a lighter for backup.  Can opener.

Food:  quick-fix and canned, coffee/tea, condiments.  Some things that don't need cooking at all.   A box holding six one-gallon bottles of water.  Regular cooler with block ice (doesn't melt as fast as cubes).

Decent flashlight or two, plus batteries.  I bought this set of two Duracell 500 flashlights at Costco for $25, and I love them -- wide beam slides to tight focused beam, each takes 3 C batteries (pricier at Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/Duracell-Intensity-Tactical-Flashlight-Batteries/dp/B00FO1TUH4)

A simple compass -- can come in handy on a cloudy day.

Rand-McNally road map or state maps or local maps for area you'll be traveling in. They work when cell phones don't.

Clothes suitable for range of weather/altitude.

Also nice: tarp and 1/8" cord to make an awning.

Small first-aid kit.  Some basic tools.  Decent folding knife.

Extra truck key to wear on a sturdy, non-slip cord around your neck.

Pets: leashes, harness for cat, food, bowls, folding wire dog crate, litter box.  A microchip & collar ID.  Train the cat to harness & leash.

Start going out for a few days at a time to gain confidence.  You'll learn what you need and don't need.  Storage can be same-size cardboard boxes that slide under the bed.

*If you try to make it exact, it will be difficult to get it in.

 

[DannyB1954]

You may find the adversity that you face is a blessing in disguise. People will often suffer through situations because they are afraid of anything unfamiliar, (even if it is better than what they now have). Reasonable fear is quite beneficial. It keeps us away from being carelessly hurt. probably thousands of people have changed their lifestyle and it caused them no harm. Try not to fear what will not harm you.

You are on your way to a new adventure. There are thousands of friends that you have yet to meet.

 

[JeriLynn]

Hi, Tristina,

I think I have a sense of what you are experiencing. 

I am a woman about ready to retire on a very small amount of SS.  I have a single wide manufactured house with leaky roof to sell and a minivan that will go toward a home/vehicle. I am heading toward Quartzsite AZ to check out all the RV parks as many of them are very affordable, like as little as $200 a month. I feel drawn to the place as gaziliions of RVrs go there and also many seniors live there full time. From there, I plan on doing work camping at various state and national parks and exploring the southwest.  I love to travel, but doing that just seems to be not enough. Also, I want to have some kind of roots someplace. I feel that doing volunteer work will be satisfying. If you can afford it, being a volunteer even part time could keep you busy and help others while you figure out your mission or next step.  It is not profound but one day I had a realization that the purpose of my life is to find my purpose. When I told a friend that I am going to be embarking on van life she said, Oh you are so brave and confident. Actually, I am worried about many things and am reluctant to let go of my treasured possessions. But I know I will feel freed from them once they are gone. 

I am looking forward to meeting other van dwellers and attending future gatherings and possibly finding other travel companions. I am very open to meeting friends via this site who are also interested in traveling the southwest in 2017 and beyond.

 

[cyndi]

Welcome to CRVL and thank you for your service and sacrifice

There's a whole network of future friends, out on the road, ready to connect with you. In The Girl's Room, one of the first posts lists solo women's groups that are very supportive.
https://vanlivingforum.com/Forum-The-Girls-Room

If you use facebook search for vandwellers, full-timers and the like. Lot's more groups with whom you can network, there.

But I have to say, you've joined the best and most supportive community out there. You now have friends all over the place.

 

[highdesertranger]

welcome Tristina, where do you want to go/see? that's the question. there are a few of us here in So Cal. we can point you in the right direction on local deals. what needs to be done to your truck? if I were to leave So Cal right now I would head for the mountains, or significantly further north. any questions feel free to ask. highdesertranger

 

[ArtW]

purposeful action is usually a good thing
This.When you were in the military, you had a job to do and a place to be, (and support of your unit)
getting in gear will help tremendously

 

[MrNoodly]

But where to go???? 

Wherever you want. And if you don't like it there, go somewhere else.

Hitting the road in the US is not like being dropped into a foreign country. The nomadic life isn't much different than going on a really long vacation. The difference is your home will be with you instead of sitting somewhere waiting for you to return.

Different regions might have slightly different cultures, and the geography or climate might be different, but things are mostly the same. People aren't all that different place to place. 

Maybe try some extended trips before making the big leap to full-timing. See what it's like—or not like—out there.

 

[Cheli]

Welcome Tristina,

I know how you feel. Although I was never in the military, I have always been very independent, determined and disciplined. I've always taken care of myself and and if I ever come into a situation, I do whatever I need to deal with it. So leaving a secure career and all structure behind is terrifying for me.

Becoming a nomad for me will be by choice not necessity but I am completely terrified of making this leap, even though once I do it I will wish I did it years ago. My biggest fear is income and how will I make money on the road. I have always had a job, or two or three if needed, but it won't be the same on the road. I'm not at retirement age so I won't have SS income, but I am taking a leap of faith that everything will work out as it should.

You've got this, you're a vet and you are trained to make things work so you will come across situations where many of us may panic but you will kick into get it done mode because that's how you've been trained. Have comfort in that and know you will do whatever it takes to handle any situation.

And like others have already mentioned, take some weekend trips to work out the details. That's what i plan to do once i get my van. Test it out, work out the kins and make it happen.

Hope to see you on the road.

 

[Trebor English]

Tristina, one step at a time.  Take a deep breath.
You said rent and bills are a problem.  Do you have any income? Disability, pension, social security, alimony?  Do you have some cash or stuff you can sell?

Step one is figure out how much your budget is.  How much do you have, what do you have coming in?  If you have a job and that's it, keeping that is priority for now.

There is plenty of help on this web site to figure out how to get by on an incredibly small amount of money.  You don't need the 22 cubic foot refrigerator and the $30 per month electric bill for that one appliance.  If you have insulin that must be refrigerated you can get by with ice.  What are your limitations?

Once you figure out that you have a budget and know that you can make it, the anxiety will get better.

 

[Tristina]

What branch did you have the pleasure of serving with?

I was a Marine 

Looking forward to meeting you at the 2017 Rubber Tramp Rendezvous.  Not a far drive from where you are?

Not really like 400 miles one way.

[Edited by Mod to separate answers from quotes.]

 

[highdesertranger]

where in So Cal is it 400 miles to Quartzsite? no need to be specific. highdesertranger

 

[Damian Rolling]

Hi Tristina and welcome.

You do have people to turn to: us!

Trust fate and believe that all places have some redeeming qualities.

You need to start somewhere; consider this challenge:

Step 1: Go to the Random Number Generator (https://www.random.org/) and use it to pick three numbers between 1 and 999.

Step 2: Match those numbers with this list of zip code prefixes (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_ZIP_code_prefixes).

Step 3: Pick at least one as your destination.

Step 4: Go, without judgement, and vow to do something fun everyday. Give priority to things you have not done before. 

Step 5: Keep us posted on the trip!


Damian

P.S. From one former Marine to another I will note that if you completed USMC Boot Camp you can handle anything.

 

[Optimistic Paranoid]

Trust fate and believe that all places have some redeeming qualities.

I absolutely, positively, guarantee you:  New Jersey has NO redeeming qualities whatsoever.

If only there were some way to give it back to the British . . .

 

[Damian Rolling]

Not even Hoboken native Frank Sinatra? Ouch.

 

[kayell]

Not even the Pine Barrens? or Springsteen?