Success, now what?

[vsession]

I was searching about goal/objective and did not find anything.

Recently I finally got a milestone that I had for a while. When I got there, I wasn’t feeling happy nor sad, I was feeling lost. I was a little bit thrown off by my own reaction so I turn to my friend Google. Turn out, feeling lost after achieving a goal is something more frequent than I thought.

What's your experience with that? I’m talking about the after. The goal itself doesn’t matter. How do you feel about it? What did you do after? Did you set a new goal?

I did set a new goal, but I feel it’s not meaningful like the first one. I guest when I get to it, I’ll see how I feel about it.

Any inputs will be appreciated.

 

[ACagedTraveller]

I also recently reached a milestone in my life, and I did not feel much of anything in regards to happiness or sadness. I suppose the best method remains to move towards the next goal that a person feels important. I do not think the achievement of a goal changes the person, but the experiences required to achieve the goal holds a major impact on the person. The removal of the goalpost, especially after a prolonged goal, could effect the mental guidance of a person. I decided to set new goals for myself and to adjust the movement rate as I went along the path. The achievement of the goal did not create a miraculous change in my life and I have to continue moving along like before the event.

 

[Mobilesport]

I've been very poor to where I was struggling and starving for everything , I've also experienced the other side not that I was a millionaire or anything but I conquered enough goals to get to a place where I needed absolutely nothing and when I first got there I felt kinda lost and I started thinking I should pursue a new goal of somesort but then I thought again and thought that I should be happy just being and so thats what I did , it just took exercising my mind to get use to being happy just being.

 

[eDJ_]

Sometimes we arrive at our goals at long last,  and feel empty or hollow the moment we arrive.   If striving for that goal was the certainty of misery,  when the goal was reached we find ourselves faced with the misery of
uncertainty.  LOL   Ever been there....know what I mean.

In my senior year of High School the last day of school the girls were all wandering the halls bawling and crying. Only a few who had plans for College & advanced schooling weren't crying it up so.  The Guys were turning cartwheels through the halls as they had plenty of ideas about what they would be doing once it was "over". (and they weren't going to waste a minute thinking what life was going to be like without School to wake up  and go to each day) 

This is when we realize that success is a very fleeting thing. 

I like the lyrics of a song by the Bachman Turner Overdrive which states,

"you're only as good as your last record"

Meaning we all must have our next goals to pursue.

Like the Fleetwood Mac song,  "Don't stop thinking about tomorrow"


As to the OP's post and question,  Not sure I truly understand it, but I'll offer this.

One method of reaching goals is called "Path Goal" where a person sees the goal and plans a path to pursue
to reach the goal.  This takes in the equipment, preparation, materials,  etc that it will take to execute this
effort. 

Another is something called MBO (Management by Objective)  There are books and articles online and in the Library concerning this way of going about reaching a goal.    These are both used in business frequently.

 

[Mobilesport]

Like the Buddhist says the only way you have piece of mind is by not thinking about tomorrow or history but only being in the Now.
Its really nice to be happy at where you are in life rather than chasing after things that don't matter.

 

[vsession]

What I realize after a few days is that I enjoyed more the whole process involve about achieving the goal than the result itself. I saw myself progress in a path that I have planned and it’s kept me motivated. At the end I had no more path to follow and this is why I felt lost.

I like to have some sort of challenge to look for, living in the now without any thinking of the past and the future is not something that goes well with my personality. I love history, understanding why we do what we do, and the past is often a good indicator of our current behavior. I even been to the university studying psychology for 3 years for that reason, understanding how the mind evolve and how we interact with each other is a passion of mine.

 

[MrNoodly]

When I was growing up, I had all sorts of goals set by other people, and achieving them was more about them being happy than me. Oh, they claimed achieving the goals would make me happy, but it only made me relieved to have others off my back. It took a while for me to realize I could set my own goals and that they didn't need to be about anyone's happiness but my own. Over the decades, I've chased a few goals I thought were worthwhile -- everyone said they were -- only to achieve them and be left empty or thinking it was a waste of time. The problem was that they were the wrong goals FOR ME. On the other hand, I've achieved a lot of positive, fulfilling, enriching things that never felt like goal-chasing. I just did what I was interested in. I was following my path which, metaphorically, was a constant, gradual rise. Since getting my head straight about goals, I haven't been left at the top of a peak wondering why I was there or which mountain I should climb next. I think the "goal" isn't to climb a bunch of peaks. Life isn't about how vertical you can get. It's about being pointed in the right direction -- FOR YOU. That direction might take you out one the plains, through the valleys or down into the heart of the mountains instead of to the summits, but you'll be happy because it's where you want to be, where your soul -- not someone else, not society -- tells you you need to be.

 

[Ella1]

Recently I finally got a milestone that I had for a while. When I got there, I wasn’t feeling happy nor sad, I was feeling lost. I was a little bit thrown off by my own reaction so I turn to my friend Google. Turn out, feeling lost after achieving a goal is something more frequent than I thought.

What's your experience with that? I’m talking about the after. The goal itself doesn’t matter. How do you feel about it? What did you do after? Did you set a new goal?

I did set a new goal, but I feel it’s not meaningful like the first one. I guest when I get to it, I’ll see how I feel about it.

May this year I achieved a goal that I had set 3 years prior. Though I had taken a few preliminary steps, I hadn't directly worked toward it until mid January 2016 because I didn't feel competent. Jan 11, a friend suffered a death in her family, and wrote about it. I decided it was time for me to work on, and finish, my project, though I still did not feel competent. That friend helped me complete it. It was finished in May, and I offered to make something for her as a thanks.
I did get it started, then one day, quit. Haven't worked on it since, and nothing in that line at all. It's as if ALL my interest in that area just got up and left. It was a passion for over 5 years, now I struggle even to think of it. I have/had a couple of goals to re-ignite it, but so far, nadda.

As far as how I felt about it: completing it, relief. The actual result, it was as good as I could do at the time. I am pleased, even proud of it, but sure wish I had the talent, the training, the experience, to have done a much better job. No, it's not that "dissatisfaction" that stops me.  I don't think. I still, a few months later, feel burned out. Other than the goal of making that gift for her, I haven't set any goals, other than getting from one end of the day to the other... I'm beginning to feel guilty about it. Not Good...

 

[DannyB1954]

I used to think if I just had this thing or that, then I would be happy. I would work until I achieved the goal. While the newness was still there I felt joy. Everything has a disadvantage as well. Over time the joy was gone and I planed on the next thing that was going to make me happy.

What I realize now is for me happiness comes from gratitude. Every time I was happy it was because I was grateful for what I had just gotten or achieved. When the gratitude left, so did the happiness. It occurred to me that for many years I was saying that I refuse to be happy until I get this thing that I want. I put off happiness and made it contingent on something else. So today I can be happy and grateful while I chase after the next end of the rainbow. I still want things to happen in my life, but I can be happy until that happens.