Optimistic Paranoid
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Shamelessly stolen from another forum. Names have been changed to protect the innocent , well, me. :angel:
Principles of the Master of BS Certification Process
Ladies and gentlemen …let me state right up front that a Master of BS Certification involves more than telling a fanciful tale. This honor is only granted to the people that show a comprehensive understanding of the multifaceted core principals of the science of Scatology. A mastery of the spoken and written word is also essential as one simply cannot express their dominance of the BS arts without the ability to communicate fluidly. If you would like the gain the honor of an Master of BS Certification please take the time to familiarize yourselves with these core BS principles….
*Knowledge: To truly master the Scatological sciences you have to have a deep and ranging knowledge base. This ranges from history to science, pop culture and mysticism, to the body politic and the manly arts. Without this depth of knowledge you cannot truly BS all the people all the time. Remember a successful BS session leaves your victim believing that you know what you are talking about even if you don’t have a clue. This is how most experts become experts these days.
*Thespianship: One cannot succeed at scatology without some showmanship. An entertaining presentation draws the audience in and makes them more willing to follow you along the ******** highway. One also needs to be mindful of the crowd you are playing too as what will work for one target group might be off-putting to another. Target your story to the market, sell it and the scat will follow.
*Sarcasm: To truly employ a BS narrative one needs to understand the importance of Sarcasm and how to apply just enough of it to let your audience or opponent skewer themselves without them even realizing it. Apply too much sarcasm and charges of being a "mean poopy head" ring through the etherwebs and the loss of personal BS karma will follow. This delicate balance of Sarcasm cannot be taught but most be coached forth from the deepest recess of your psyche. For a few fortunate individuals Sarcasm is innately engrained from birth and is present in the most successful of all Masters of BS. Those gifted by the Gods with exceptional Sarcasm skills become Master Trainers, much like the Jedi Masters of old. And don’t let anybody tell you any different; Sarcasm is a form of Martial Arts when applied correctly.
*Tenacity: If you’re going to be Certified you have to have a thick skin. BSing is a rough and tumble endeavor and there will be times when you meet another Scatologist of equal or greater skill. Rest assured, in these scenarios a battle of BS will ensue. You must hold your ground, countering BS with stronger BS until one of you is broken. It could be you so just be aware; running off and crying to your mommy or a moderator after getting bitch slapped will mean the immediate cessation of the Master of BS Certification process. Scatology is not for the timid or weak.
*Morality: One of the most abiding principles all great Scatologists must adhere to is that the use of their BS powers must be for the greater good. While it might seem counterintuitive, BS actually makes this forum and the world a better place by entertaining our friends, gently nudging a member to the right path, and diffusing tense situations before physical violence ensues. A great Scatologist can win the hearts of the most strident of foes and convince them that you are they're bestest buddy of all time. Meanwhile you are free to plot their imminent fall. Failure to use your BS Certification for the benefit of all mankind will result in an immediate BS Certification suspension and possibly a career for you in politics. Politicians are the Sith Lords to the BS Certified Jedi masters.
So study, learn and practice these Scatological principals and you have the chance to earn the coveted Master of BS Certification. We’ll be watching and weighing your every post and response and will notify you when you have reached a level of BS that merits such an honor.
Principles of the Master of BS Certification Process
Ladies and gentlemen …let me state right up front that a Master of BS Certification involves more than telling a fanciful tale. This honor is only granted to the people that show a comprehensive understanding of the multifaceted core principals of the science of Scatology. A mastery of the spoken and written word is also essential as one simply cannot express their dominance of the BS arts without the ability to communicate fluidly. If you would like the gain the honor of an Master of BS Certification please take the time to familiarize yourselves with these core BS principles….
*Knowledge: To truly master the Scatological sciences you have to have a deep and ranging knowledge base. This ranges from history to science, pop culture and mysticism, to the body politic and the manly arts. Without this depth of knowledge you cannot truly BS all the people all the time. Remember a successful BS session leaves your victim believing that you know what you are talking about even if you don’t have a clue. This is how most experts become experts these days.
*Thespianship: One cannot succeed at scatology without some showmanship. An entertaining presentation draws the audience in and makes them more willing to follow you along the ******** highway. One also needs to be mindful of the crowd you are playing too as what will work for one target group might be off-putting to another. Target your story to the market, sell it and the scat will follow.
*Sarcasm: To truly employ a BS narrative one needs to understand the importance of Sarcasm and how to apply just enough of it to let your audience or opponent skewer themselves without them even realizing it. Apply too much sarcasm and charges of being a "mean poopy head" ring through the etherwebs and the loss of personal BS karma will follow. This delicate balance of Sarcasm cannot be taught but most be coached forth from the deepest recess of your psyche. For a few fortunate individuals Sarcasm is innately engrained from birth and is present in the most successful of all Masters of BS. Those gifted by the Gods with exceptional Sarcasm skills become Master Trainers, much like the Jedi Masters of old. And don’t let anybody tell you any different; Sarcasm is a form of Martial Arts when applied correctly.
*Tenacity: If you’re going to be Certified you have to have a thick skin. BSing is a rough and tumble endeavor and there will be times when you meet another Scatologist of equal or greater skill. Rest assured, in these scenarios a battle of BS will ensue. You must hold your ground, countering BS with stronger BS until one of you is broken. It could be you so just be aware; running off and crying to your mommy or a moderator after getting bitch slapped will mean the immediate cessation of the Master of BS Certification process. Scatology is not for the timid or weak.
*Morality: One of the most abiding principles all great Scatologists must adhere to is that the use of their BS powers must be for the greater good. While it might seem counterintuitive, BS actually makes this forum and the world a better place by entertaining our friends, gently nudging a member to the right path, and diffusing tense situations before physical violence ensues. A great Scatologist can win the hearts of the most strident of foes and convince them that you are they're bestest buddy of all time. Meanwhile you are free to plot their imminent fall. Failure to use your BS Certification for the benefit of all mankind will result in an immediate BS Certification suspension and possibly a career for you in politics. Politicians are the Sith Lords to the BS Certified Jedi masters.
So study, learn and practice these Scatological principals and you have the chance to earn the coveted Master of BS Certification. We’ll be watching and weighing your every post and response and will notify you when you have reached a level of BS that merits such an honor.
