How to deal with gas station panhandling

[QinReno]

In Boulder CO where I lived for 20 years, the homeless would spend their nights up in the very plush homeless shelter on North Broadway, getting a free meal, evening movie, and a free bed. Then get a free bus ride downtown in the morning. Then they would sit on the benches on the Pearl Street Pedestrian Mall all day long, and panhandle from the tourists. I got so I would just hold my hand up and say "No Thanks", even before they spoke.

 

[travelaround]

I have lived in places where almost **everyone** around me was in desperate need. Takes the hubris right out of you, you can only do so much.

Yes, I understand that. I used to live in a place like that, but now am kind of isolated from it here in North Idaho. So it surprised me, I've been approached twice in the last couple of months by people asking me for money. Both times I didn't give them anything, but I came up with the idea of gift cards. Of course, if I was in an area where there was a lot of mendicancy going on, it would get old very fast. I'm not a bank!

I also am wondering what kind of person would choose begging over finding income from other sources. I happen to know how easy it is to get Foodstamps because I did it last year when my income took a sudden dip and I was having a hard time paying bills, before I found the online transcription job that paid 3 dollars an hour (piecework). I went into the human services office and not only did they immediately grant me a lot more Foodstamps than I ever expected, they also fixed me up with Medicaid right then and there! I'm no longer getting either of those but it was a great help at the time.

Knowing that, I know that anyone we see out there on the streets is able to get food. No problem. And I happen to think that if a person can't afford gas they shouldn't have a car, and I'd go so far as to suggest that to them. I lived here in North Idaho for three and a half years without a car because I couldn't afford one. It wasn't easy, but that's life. We do what we have to do.

So I could be a bit jaded in what I think people really need, and my attitude would be that it is better to cut corners, cut back, and live within your means, than to go out begging on the streets.

Still, there are likely to be circumstances when someone is in emergency need. I wouldn't want to pass up an opportunity to help someone in legitimate need . . . but I don't know if I could determine which ones are needy and which are opportunists, or career beggars.

 

[pksmart]

I was passing through Carson City today when I stopped for gas, actually I was running on fumes. A young couple parked next to me asked for gas money. I said sure but let me see your gas guage. He said he didn't think it worked and drove away. Last year a father sent his two young son's over to ask me for money. After I gave him $20 I asked to see his guage and it was 3/4 full. I'm all for helping people but not interested in being taken advantage of. How do you all handle it?

I'm not sure what you are asking exactly.  How does one handle panhandlers?  Just say no.  You don't owe anyone an excuse as to why the answer is no.  If someone is asking for money - they have done it hundreds of times already.  You aren't their first sucker.  I know this sounds blunt, but it is life.

If someone is truly needy, you can tell.  They don't ask for money, they ask for something specific.  Maybe they need milk for their young child.  Maybe they are hungry and would appreciate a sandwich.  These are the people to help.  If they ask for money, then buyer beware.

 

[Cammalu]

There are quite a few panhandlers in Quartzsite. Many stay in the LTVA that is right up against the city and walk into town every morning. Some are so incredibly dirty that it’s hard to believe and I’ve heard them called, “The Dirties”. They can be spotted a mile away.

 

[becida]

I was pumping gas at a station on southern WA state and a guy parked there came over with a 2 gal can and said he was out of money, I pumped him a gallon or two then continued filling my rig. I didn't figure he was after beer money...

 

[WanderingCanuck]

Opportunities for genuine altruism are rare indeed. As with many others, I won't give out cash or anything that could be quickly and easily converted into it. When approached, I head them off with a "no thanks" or simply ignore them. If they persist, I stop and stare them in the eye while standing completely motionless and silent, with my patented "don't F* with me" expression prominently displayed. This never lasts long. They are either intimidated by my tall and muscular stature or think I'm crazier than them.

All of that out of the way, I really try to look for opportunities to help those that NEED help. I have been in more than a few situations where I know I've made a difference. It just really puts me off that there are a small number of people that take advantage of the innate desire to help one another.

 

[WanderingRose]

If someone gets too close to me or my rig, I make sure my dog is front and center, and that usually backs folks off very quickly.

She’s never bitten anyone, but has very impressive teeth which she is not afraid to show, and would use them if she needed to.

 

[MrNoodly]

...a sign that read, "need money for beer"....

My favorite sign is "This IS my job."

 

[ByeBye]

Disappointing to see all the grouping together into stereotypes being done. The 'panhandlers', dirities, etc. We're each individuals, with different paths and stories. I know we've been conditioned to do this so, I find knee jerk reactions related to it in myself, as well.

Yet wait till someone in a white van makes bad publicity nationally and we'll hear about how unfair it is to judge.

Conditional giving isn't about charity or sharing of abundance, it's about feeling superior. I've been on every side of the disenfranchised that I know of and it's easy to sit back and think we know what somebody else needs.

I've never panhandled or begged but I've had people look at me w/ repulsion and disdain and it's horrible unless you build up the walls.
Sorry, rant over and I'm not trying to confront anyone. It's a tender spot for me.

 

[Firtree]

We've already had "someone in a white van make bad publicity nationally". He's in federal lockup and probably will be for rest of his sorry life.

 

[WanderingCanuck]

Conditional giving isn't about charity or sharing of abundance, it's about feeling superior.

Initially your post did strike me as confrontational, but in a second and third reading I decided it was well thought out and had some good points.

However, I have to disagree with the sentence quoted above. If there are no conditions attached to giving, it is too easy to let one's self be taken advantage of. There are very few (if any) sustainable systems where you "get something for nothing".

Would you give to a registered charity where only 75% was used for the stated charitable purpose? How about 25%? Wherever it is for you, there _is_ a line to be drawn - a condition.

Would you hand a beer to a clearly intoxicated person on the street? Probably not, but many (most) wouldn't hesitate to do the same for their best friend at a party or bar. That's an interesting one now that I think about it.

Would you be punctual for your mediocre and somewhat boring job five days a week for free? Not likely for most. That's called "volunteering".

There are plenty of examples of things we do that have conditions attached to preserve the balance of time, effort and compensation that have nothing to do with needing to feel superior.

 

[Spaceman Spiff]

Conditional giving isn't about charity or sharing of abundance, it's about feeling superior . . .

It is not about feeling superior but about being responsible with my money.  I think it is irresponsible to fund the drug trade with all the misery it causes.  I prefer to give to organizations that work with the homeless.  With all the resources available in large metro areas, people begging on street corners, et.al. are there by choice usually.  One needs to be very discerning to separate the truly needy from the con artists.

 

[ByeBye]

"If there are no conditions attached to giving, it is too easy to let one's self be taken advantage of." And, this is very valid but it's still conditional. In my original response I think I mentioned I use my intuition and sometimes I'm sure I've been duped but I'm ok w/ it.

Decide to give or not, it seems either is ok. I give sometimes because I can do so without expectations of the outcome. It's from a concept of selfless giving. It's not a goal I'm able to obtain constantly but I can regularly if I make it my intention.

I think everyone does it exactly the way they need to do it and no way is "better". I'm was just expressing my disappointment and I guess my expectations were too high and unfair. I do that more than I like. My issue, no one else's.

Once again, it's just my perspective and a bit of my emotions. No offense intended.

 

[WanderingRose]

For me, it’s about not enabling, whether that be drugs, alcohol or general irresponsibility.

Again, speaking to panhandlers asking for cash.

 

[John61CT]

In this scenario

I have lived in places where almost **everyone** around me was in desperate need. Takes the hubris right out of you, you can only do so much.

You quickly realize that even giving away everything you own, working hard the rest of your life only for others, is just a drop in the bucket.

Of course try to always have empathy and be kind, but we need to set our own limits and boundaries in accordance with our own conscience.

There is enough need among those I know and love, not just for my cash, but also my energy, time and attention, to exercise all the compassion and generosity I personally can muster.

And finally, if you don't take proper care of yourself, you'll be ever more limited in what you can offer others.

 

[QinReno]

I also size the people up for what they are. Some people are just plain lazy beggers. Like the "homeless" people who panhandle on Pearl Street Mall in Boulder CO, and stay in the plush homeless shelter at night. These I say to hell with.

Some people are truly in need and these I'll give $5 to. If some guy in a car in a gas station asks for money, I point to my van and say, "Do you know how much it costs to run this thing? How about giving me some money". I was once hit up in a rest stop on I-80 while moving cross-country in a Budget rent a truck. I pointed to it, and say "6 miles per gallon".

 

[lenny flank]

I once heard "religious fundamentalist" defined as "someone who lives in mortal terror that somebody somewhere might be having a good time".

I define an "economic fundamentalist" as "someone who lives in mortal terror that somebody somewhere might have a dollar that they didn't deserve".

I view them as not much different from each other.

 

[ByeBye]

+1 Lenny

 

[John61CT]

Huge difference between arguing government policy,

and trying to dictate how others should spend or give away their after-tax disposable income.

Yes it is a moral issue, but not necessarily from an "anti-fun" puritanical POV, and we determine those issues for ourselves.

For those of us with deep and tragic personal / family experience of the consequences of various forms of addiction,

it may be very important to refrain from enabling destruction.

I would much rather see friends or family working in porn or the sex trades, than liquor, gambling, military / weapons, tobacco, fossil fuel or drug trades.

 

[lenny flank]

 arguing government policy,

We're not allowed to argue government policy here.  

Nor would it serve any purpose: as a society, our social policy towards homeless poor people has always been the same--we (collectively) simply don't give a shit what happens to them and we don't want to do anything to help them (especially if it will cost us a nickel).