having issues being alone

[mayble]

I see the original poster hasn't been back in two years.
Perhaps it was too lonely out there for him after all.

We need a CRVL "Where Are They Now" episode.

 

[arctic cat]

I see the original poster hasn't been back in two years.
Perhaps it was too lonely out there for him after all.

We need a CRVL "Where Are They Now" episode.

Ha Ha Ha maybe he really like it been alone

 

[ArtW]

CLINICAL DEFINITION OF INTROVERT...

1.a shy person.
2. Psychology. a person characterized by concern primarily with his or her own thoughts and feelings

Nope

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Extraversion_and_introversion

It is far from simply being shy or self absorbed
But do I ever see the therapist I spoke to on the topic, I'll be sure to tell him he and all other behavioural psychologists are wrong

 

[Sameer]

CLINICAL DEFINITION OF INTROVERT...

1.a shy person.
2. Psychology. a person characterized by concern primarily with his or her own thoughts and feelings

Nope

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Extraversion_and_introversion

It is far from simply being shy or self absorbed
But do I ever see the therapist I spoke to on the topic, I'll be sure to tell him he and all other behavioral psychologists are wrong

Well, I needed a good laugh today!...that was the dictionary definition which is good enough for me...
This subject isn't live or die for me.....after reading comments about extroverts, I just said that those of us who are considered extroverts...look at introverts as a 'little self-absorbed....and since 'all' the introverts decided I was talking about them..PERSONALLY.........Well?

 

[mayble]

Surely we've all seen enough after school specials to know that the shy one isn't stuck up and the prom queen is actually burdened with low self esteem.

 

[akrvbob]

Every human is self-absorbed! After all, we truly are alone in our own heads.

That self-absorption just shows itself in different ways. Introvert is alone thinking his own thoughts mostly revolving around himself. The extrovert spend his time with other saying metaphorically "Look at me."

It's rarely that blatant but its still the motive deep down.

Two sides to one coin.

Once you recognize, admit and embrace your total self-absorption, then you can start to turn it around and genuinely allow other people in.
Bob

 

[USExplorer]

As a kid growing up in a very insular family I used to be extremely shy and unable to approach strangers. In college I barely made any friends and spent all my time studying and working. After spending many months traveling the country solo I have become much more confident talking to people of all types but still retain some introvert characteristics. I always try to avoid inconveniencing people with casual conversation, so I am very attentive to their level of interest. The proliferation of smartphones and the banality of most electronic conversation has not helped with meeting young people (especially the ladies). I quickly tire of small talk and those bland characters who never express any but the most generic opinions. I regret not keeping in touch with many of the interesting folks I met on the road, as doing so would help on rainy and dull days. 

Volunteering is a great way to meet unconventional (read: interesting) people, and work is a great bond. It also helps to get our mind off ourselves and our issues. Work-staying in peoples' houses temporarily is a great way to learn how to relate to people and establish a mutual trusting relationship. Other great places to meet weird folks are gatherings like the RTR and Rainbow Family. I've meet more than a good share of interesting people near salt-water docks and piers in fishing towns. Hunt camps are a great place to spend a wild redneck evening around a campfire. If you are a bookworm, some bookstores and libraries function as social places. Some church denominations are very open and friendly, others are very insular. Picking up hitchhikers is another way to learn to judge character and thus increase self-confidence. Many homeless people (especially hobos) are friendly toward fellow travelers and willing to share some of their knowledge. Hell, even some cops are friendly toward vagabonds like us.

Someone who wants friends must show themselves friendly. Greet everyone. Automatic distrust is a sign of poor character judgment, and it will get you nowhere when traveling where everyone you meet will be a stranger. Take small risks and step outside your comfort zone every once in a while to keep van dwelling from getting mundane.

 

[Luciano151]

NOBODY IS TALKING ABOUT DISEASES.....See, that is the problem with being self-absorbed....you cannot take everything personal....My statement was not a reference to you and what ever issues you have.  

CLINICAL DEFINITION OF INTROVERT...

1.a shy person.
2. Psychology. a person characterized by concern primarily with his or her own thoughts and feelings

I don't think it's necessary to label an introverted person or an extroverted person's particular attributes, because there is a lot of spillover between the two. We all need people to a degree and we all need to be by ourselves to a degree. Some people need less of one than another. I have found that as I've gotten older, I have shied away from large group activities because conversation tends to be so bland and superficial. I much prefer smaller groups or 1:1 conversation. There is so much more interaction and I usually leave the experience with a smile on my face because the conversation actually meant something.

 

[ArtW]

Sameer,
for some reason I cannot quote atm. however
I did not take your post personally, I simply pointed out that your 'clinical description' was simplistic and not at all the clinical description, and provided a better one, though it's also simplistic
yep the dictionary definition is what you posted, first result you got when you googled it probably
The fact you felt the need to 'school' all us introverts shows your own self absorption, that's neither good nor bad, it just is
If it helps you to put people in simple little boxes, go ahead, but get your facts straight
I could have simply replied with my IA instructor's definition
'An extrovert is someone who tells you all about the awesome thing he's going to do, while an introvert just quietly does it'
But that's also demonstrably wrong
Glad you had a good laugh, I did, too

Bob and Luciano make very good points here
Part of the reason I get so worn out socializing is I really don't care who's boffing who if one of em ain't me, and I could care less about what happened on the last episode of 'the bachelor'

 

[Belinda2]

I think that nature and pets keep me from getting lonely. Last night the alarm in my minivan was blinking on the dash to show it was working. A lightening bug who was outside of the windshield took "a liking" to the blinking alarm and started to blink in sinc with it and was flirting and hanging around the light!

 

[highdesertranger]

that's one lonely bug. highdesertranger

 

[akrvbob]

I think that nature and pets keep me from getting lonely. Last night the alarm in my minivan was blinking on the dash to show it was working. A lightening bug who was outside of the windshield took "a liking" to the blinking alarm and started to blink in sinc with it and was flirting and hanging around the light!

Vandweller porn!!!!???? 
Bob

 

[Sameer]

SIMPLE SOLUTIONS
6/11/16 FLAGSTAFF, ARIZONA
Others within walking distance.  Most of my friends here I have known for three years or longer.  Some I just met and became friends with.  Some I met at my first Winter RTR three years ago.  We don't always live together, but we see each other during the year and spend some time together.  Many easy solutions to the issue of loneliness if you are willing to take action. 
Come to the Summer RTR and meet wonderful people...become friends...enjoy the beautiful forest of Flagstaff, Arizona...be happy!
View attachment 8140


"COMMUNITY"

 

[ArtW]

Indeed, and there are plenty of RTR style events to go round

 

[ghost]

Being alone sometimes is a good thing. Int let's you relax and clear your head. We do need companionship though. The right person is out there for you believe that! Stay positive and hold your chin up. It's just around the corner...

 

[capt_caveman]

hi all I sometimes let being alone get to me as well.. 
  When I can feel it coming Il start planing setting my self up to be around people theres lots of things to do go to a library gathering theres all ways at least one a week go to a free theater play there fun go to the public swimming poll 
there are lots of self help groups some are free .
 I know im most likely not going to find a partner that likes this life style but you just never know .

 

[Moxadox]

Heh...my "problem" is, I don't get lonely. At least, I'm not aware of it. I used to when I was younger....terribly. I don't know what "cured" me. Actually, I've spent my whole life feeling acutely uncomfortable around other humans. So after acquiring my Belgian Malinois and van, several years ago, I discovered that camping in the wilderness alone with my dog is the most peaceful feeling. Now my biggest problem is that I've been following this forum and I'd like to meet many of you, but the idea of soooooo many humans all in one place like Quartzsite is terrifying. In fact, my handle on other forums (fora, in correct Latin) is Gone_Feral ?

The Dire Wolfess

 

[Dingfelder]

I'm mostly good with just my dog, too.  

I've lived with lots of people and alone, plenty of both, and each can be okay or nightmarish, depending on a lot of things.  But for me, for now, I just take things as they come and rarely get lonely.  If people are there, fine.  If they're not, that's fine too.  I don't seek them out too often, but I don't really avoid them either, even though I'd have to say I'm for the most part an introvert.  

I do need my alone time on a regular basis.  Or at least quiet time.  I like to read, for instance.  I've been spotted trying to take a nap.  True story.  

That can be hard when people want your attention.  Non-participation doesn't mean I reject you, but sometimes people seem to have a hard time understanding that or accepting that it could be true.  They need a lot of validation.  I can do that, but sometimes I need a break.

 

[Moxadox]

That can be hard when people want your attention.  Non-participation doesn't mean I reject you, but sometimes people seem to have a hard time understanding that or accepting that it could be true.  They need a lot of validation.  I can do that, but sometimes I need a break.
[/quote]

Yep, I hear that. I have to go out to the E. Coast next week to visit my ancient mother. Guess what, her even more ancient brother and his son and his son's daughter are going to be there too! This sends me literally into a protracted panic attack. Wahhhh, I don't wanna go! I'm useless at making conversation.



The Dire Wolfess

 

[wasanah2]

Heh...my "problem" is, I don't get lonely.  At least, I'm not aware of it.  I used to when I was younger....terribly.  I don't know what "cured" me.  Actually, I've spent my whole life feeling acutely uncomfortable around other humans.  So after acquiring my Belgian Malinois and van, several years ago, I discovered that camping in the wilderness alone with my dog is the most peaceful feeling.  Now my biggest problem is that I've been following this forum and I'd like to meet many of you, but the idea of soooooo many humans all in one place like Quartzsite is terrifying.  In fact, my handle on other forums (fora, in correct Latin) is Gone_Feral ?

The Dire Wolfess

Do you ever wonder what things were like when there were fewer people in this country?  Back in the day, well medicine was bad and poor Moxie (she's a doc) would be paid with live chickens and other livestock, but fewer people meant that there was a frontier.  In the 1700s, people wanted to settle Kentucky (which then was a lot bigger than today's state).  Then later in the 1800s, people wanted to settle the west.  When I was little I read the Laura Ingalls books when she wrote about her father's wishes to keep pushing west because there were too many people, and he had to compete with neighbors for the small game he'd shoot for the table.

Your forefathers (if they immigrated to N. America) came here to settle a frontier.  I think a lot of that has passed down in our American culture.  Indians on the other hand originally did not put up fences and land boundaries and the like.  There was no frontier, nothing to conquer.  Every member born had the right to his or her own place in this world and in his/her society.  Each member "owned" more land than they could visit in a year.  The idea wasn't to claim it or tame it but to live in harmony with it.  I know that sounds somewhat campy or sentimental, but that didn't last because when populations pushed in, the complaint was that there are too many people.

Moxie, I think most of us have that lingering DNA in us, that we aren't so comfortable when there are too many people close in like that.  The only place I could go where there were many people was a sporting event where my mind was on the players and the game, but if it got boring, I thought about all the people there, and I really wanted to get out.  I wasn't alone; people were heading for the exits in droves well in advance of the end of the game.   Yet, if it were an exciting game, I might last to the end, but once over, I noticed all the people and really wanted out.

It's okay to go feral though.  Every once in awhile I hear of someone who spent years in the wilderness without seeing a soul, and while personal hygiene goes by the wayside for them, they're generally pretty happy people.  That's what matters the most.  What makes folks happy.  We can never go back to frontiers.  But you can maybe carve a bit of one out for yourself.