Dealing with Families

[zeeter]

Hello Everyone,

I am 53 and living in a rented house in eastern Pennsylvania with two dogs and a cat. I tend to be anti-social and even take medication for this. Of late I have been considering my retirement options.

Option one is that I work until age 67 and have a $2700 monthly retirement benefit. This is plenty to live on, but I'll be 67.
Option two is that I work until age 62 and receive about $2000 a month. This is really just pushing the boundaries of living comfortably in anything more than a cheap apartment, and honestly I don't want to spend my retirement living in such a cheap apartment or house. Most decent rentals in my area are at least $1200. Having $800 left over is doable, but did I really spend my whole life working so that I can barely afford a decent place with a bit of spending cash at the end of the month?

After seeing Nomadland it really made me start looking at the nomad lifestyle. So much so that I started to ask myself why wait? Most of the jobs in my field can be done remotely. There's no reason I can't work from some state park somewhere if I get internet service. 

I've watched all of Bob's videos and it would be easy to get rid of most of my belongings and minimalize in an RV. I'd also like to do this before age starts making me think about health issues above travel issues.

This brings me to a conversation I had with my son yesterday. He said he hopes I'm not seriously considering it. The thing is that it's not clear if he said it because he thinks it's a bad idea or because he doesn't want me to go. The latter is valid; from Sept 2019 to Dec 2020 I was working a job in Colorado. It was clear upon my return that he was happy I was home. 

In my area there really are no cheap RV camps. In fact, many of them shut down at the end of October and don't open until April. So I would have to figure out how to deal with leaving my kids for a good portion of the year.

I'm wondering how many of you with families managed to break it to them that you'll be out of the area for much of the year? How have they taken it? What did you do or say to ease their minds?

 

[landyachtman]

Welcome to the CRVL forums! To help you learn the ins and outs of these forums, this "Tips, Tricks and Rules" post lists some helpful information to get you started.

Most of our rules boil down to two simple over-riding principles: 1) What you post should provide good information (like your introductory post), and 2) Any response to someone else's post should make them feel glad they are part of this forum community.

We look forward to hearing more from you.

 

[jacqueg]

Someone who insists on worrying about you will most likely continue to worry, no matter what you say. That said, think carefully about their concerns. Those concerns are not necessarily wrong.

What you should do NOW is start camping - in the vehicle you have, with the stuff you have. Because of course, the first thing anyone will ask is - what if you decide you don't like it? At a minimum, you ought to be able to say, honestly - I love to camp, why not do it full time? And if you can't say that honestly, of course the question becomes moot. The thing you don't want to do is to embark on this life with no camping experience.

Start slow - baby steps. If you enjoy your two-night outings, then lengthen your stays. If it's possible for you to telecommute a couple days a week, then do that. 

Also, look at your options for renting a smaller - and presumably cheaper - space to live in. If you can put together a satisfying life in a 200 sq ft room, you will be that much further ahead.

You're not desperate. So develop a plan, and then work the plan. Set yourself a launch date - 55? 60? - feeling free to change your mind at any stage.

And another thought - is your son (or another family member) in a position to help you address your desire to retire before you're too old for even a modest adventure? Build a mother-in-law apartment with your contribution? Site a tiny home (which could be a used travel trailer)? Then you could travel part-time and be "home" part-time. IOW, talk with the worrier, and see whether that worry can be translated into a concrete action on the part of the worrier.

 

[mpruet]

I wouldn’t worry about the family.  You aren’t living with them now so there really won’t be any difference in your or their lifestyle.  

Now for the issue about when to retire.

You didn’t say if you would have other income than SS, but if you will only have SS then I’d hold off quitting my job and starting SS as long as I could.  Your base income from SS will increase about 8% each year that you hold off.  Now before folks start in to where the ‘break even point is’ - there is another rather important consideration and that’s COLA.  Like it or not, but inflation will occur and COLA increases for a given year are based on how much SS income you’re currently getting.  By holding off and getting an 8% annual increase in SS, you are also increasing the base that the COLA will be based on.  In a typical year, the COLA is around 1%, and a 1% increase on $2200/month is more than on $2000/month.   In effect, by delaying you are increasing the impact of future COLA increases because the base that the COLA is based on is higher. I held off starting SS until I was 68 and with the COLA increases, I’m now getting about twice as much per month as I would have if I had started at 62. 

Another consideration - and this is a big one.  I would NOT quit work until I could start Medicare.  Being on a health insurance plan is a huge benefit.

 

[nature lover]

Welcome to the forum. I don’t believe I could say it any better than JACQUEG said it. Baby steps, see if you really enjoy it. Then as they said you have an answer for the “naysayer s “

 

[GypsyJan]

I agree that you should hold off til at least 67 to retire. I am still working and am holding off til 70 to retire and the difference in the monthly check I would have received at 62 or even 66 compared to 70 is quite a bit. Meanwhile I practice being a nomad on weekends and vacation road trips so I can tweak my set up in my vehicle.

It would be royal if you could spend seven months in a warmer climate and 5 months back in PA with your family for the summers.

So camp now while continuing to work remotley, saving funds for later, and stave off retirement for a better monthly income in the future.

 

[vgilbert]

Very simple for me, I just said I'm going but will be back from time to time 

 

[Tony's Dream]

Like you, I looked at my retirement finances. We looked at our options and I will retire at 60 (9 months away) and have a nice retirement income. My plan is travel throughout the lower 48 and hit all the national parks, forests, and historic sites. Unfortunately, the wife does not share this dream....at least not driving around for weeks at a time. She will join me on some of the trips, just not all of them.

So traveling alone, I decided to buy a 2016 Ford Transiet Connect cargo van. It was only $17,000 and has 32,000 miles. First I wondered how I was going to fit my 6 foot 250 lb frame into that short roof. Like Jacqueg said, you have to decide if what you want is really for you. I built a simple bed, added and ice chest, and 5 gallon water bottle. Very basic set up, just what I needed to make an initial trip. I spent a week in June traveling throughout WY, going to 20 different national parks and historic sites. The trip allowed me to see if this was a good fit for me. It was! I had no issues getting in and out and it was very comfortable. I did identify some things that needed changed or upgraded. My bed worked great, but I am adding a drawer under the bed instead of tubs. I plan to add a vent and a window for ventilation.

Like you, my wife and kids were not sure about me traveling so much. My plan would have me on the road for about a year, but I broke it down in 1-2 week trips. So I will go, come back, clean, and restock. I basically told my kids...I am not a child and I will make my own decisions. My wife found an app that tracks me as I travel so it's like we are traveling together. We video chat every evening and message her throughout the day. She knows where I will be staying and how to find me if somethign goes wrong. A good compromise I think.

The hard part is taking that first step. Plan well and expect issues. Good luck

 

[Spaceman Spiff]

I am 53  . . .
Option one is that I work until age 67 and have a $2700 monthly retirement benefit. This is plenty to live on, but I'll be 67.
Option two is that I work until age 62 and receive about $2000 a month . . .

I disagree with some of the advice given here.

None of us are given any guarantees in life.  It's 9 years until you will be eligible for SS, 17 years to 70.  Your world may be very different:
 - your health may severely restrict your ability to travel.
 - travel will be different.
 - SS rules can/do change.

I retired at 58 with savings earmarked to get me to 62, when I started receiving SS.  If I had waited to 67 or 70 I would have either depleted my savings or not traveled, loosing 9 to 12 healthy years of adventure.

My 2¢:
Start planning and saving now.
Start taking short trips now, and increase their range and durations as you get comfortable with living mobile.
If you can work mobile for part of the year add that to your plan.
Sell your family on short 'vacations' and make sure they know how much you enjoy it.  That should make it easier to convince then your plans are valid.

 

[maki2]

My opinion on what you should do should not matter in the least. Talk to your son instead of asking the opinion of strangers. It is what he thinks that truly matters.

 

[RoamerRV428]

No one matters BUT YOU and what you want!

key being in truth that you disappoint, make mad, they judge ya and more but in the bitter end your life is your life.

but it sounds to me you 'are thinking and just jawing what ifs' at this point.

Nomads aren't just about cheapest option to live on a dime or some lifestyle that seems to fit into some 'maybe I can afford' this or even an option to correct your lower income to afford that nicer apartment etc.

DO YOU want nomad? Travel? RV type campgrounds and COE's and boondocking and camping and more? Have you done camping and loving travel etc. to the extent it signals you as something you must 'be' to thrive?
If this is not you at all in the basic heart of what you want to retire to then don't even go here.

No where in your post did I see the wanderlust, that draw to travel and be living daily day to day on who knows what or how you want to live those retirement years................to me that is key.

If I made your post I woulda been all about me, what I want, how I want to travel and explore and live day to day and in the end your post is all about the dollar and other's making decisions for you so I see a big red flag here..............just figure out what you want and move forward.

You got tons of options..........take your time and think it thru but think for you at all times.....others ideas and more won't be what you take to the grave in the end......how you decide to live and suits you personally is what you take the the final hr to the grave and no regrets hopefully

saying all this in good form, no judging but not enough info to know you and truly what you want........so take that time and think it thru!! In the end you will roll exactly the way you need to roll!

 

[eDJ_]

If you took a job where you traveled far and wide frequently, they would have to understand. You could swing by there and visit with them when you are passing thru the area. This way you could combine the Nomad with the work.

I know one guy who lives out of suitcases as he travels in his work working "Trade Show'. He's done many things on the trade show circuit but he is a Chef by trade. He now works for Hormel meat company and does meat prep demo's at the trade shows. Trucks from the company arrive at the shows and "set up people" have everything in place for him so all he has to do is arrive and do his thing much like an instructor. But he loves the lifestyle. His family misses him but he says he "Zoom's" with them on the week end.

A lot of folks (you may have seen this in Bob's Video's) register in South Dakota and get a remail service there. No state income tax, license fees/insurance is reasonable there etc. They can digitalized your mail and send it to you by email. (so you could be anywhere and get it) Then you can live anywhere you want. Other states offer this too, but South Dakota is a favorite with many as it is so "central". . This way you can live at large traveling with the decent weather (snowbird) etc.

There are a couple of links below which may be of interest & helpful for you.

 

[bullfrog]

I was able to “retire” at 53 and start receiving a “livable” pension. By livable I mean barely afford health insurance, food, fuel etc. anything unusual or extra could be paid by working minimum wage or seasonal jobs which pretty much proved to be true. By selling our house I was able to buy an older restored Barth motor home and have about a $35,000 emergency fund that I felt would cover about two years of travel without any income. It ended up being about a year due to things like staying in full hook up RV parks in the eastern populated areas, tires, axle bearing and seals, starter as well as repairs to a towed vehicle. At the end of the first year we had gotten to Texas and started working part time jobs. Wanting to continue west we took seasonal jobs in Utah after saving enough money to travel again. Fortunately once we were west we were able to learn and use BLM land and boondocking skills that allowed us to do seasonal jobs part of the year and travel the the southwest the rest. Once I reached 62 I took early Social Security which allowed us enough money we could travel and do more. My wife is younger than me and she continues to work and will not start Social Security until after at least she can receive the full benefits or more and draw a small retirement from her present National Park Job to add to monies she will have should I pass even though my pension continues till she dies. This means she will not “have” to work should something happen to either of us. Staying healthy and the sad state/costs of health care and insurance are the biggest concerns. Travel is not the priority it was when we were 20 years younger but we still enjoy it and treasure the much better life it has provided us. If you can afford to, do as much as you can as soon as you can as it gets harder as you age. If the job you have now does not provide you what you need to continue living the way you are, I highly recommend seasonal work with housing and adopting a nomadic lifestyle if you are healthy and able. It is possible to learn to live simply and save while adventure traveling.

 

[RoamerRV428]

zeeter never came back from over a yr since this post but it still shows members saying great things about their journey and what it took for them. we can only hope for zeeter at this point??

 

[tradesman]

I think the only consideration would be to wait until 65 for medicare. Besides that I have known people who waited until they had just a bit more monthly income, and then passed away before they could enjoy it. I think it would be better to retire earlier with less per month and have the option of doing some part time work to make up the extra if needed. You never know what life will give, or take from you.

 

[maki2]

You do need to check dates on the new comer welcome threads. Many of the people who post do not stick around for long. Unfortunetly the forum software kicks those old threads up at the bottom of the recent listings in recommended similar threads. That feature revives stuff from people who are no longer active. As a person can not unsubscribe this forum will be constantly plagued by people responding to old conversations essentially talking to someone who is not around to listen.

 

[Morgana]

Well, the recent posts seem valuable, and interesting to a lot of people besides the OP, so what's the harm?

 

[Sage]

some of us newbies find the information and conversation interesting and enjoy learning from others.

You do need to check dates on the new comer welcome threads. Many of the people who post do not stick around for long. Unfortunetly the forum software kicks those old threads up at the bottom of the recent listings in recommended similar threads. That feature revives stuff from people who are no longer active. As a person can not unsubscribe this forum will be constantly plagued by people responding to old conversations essentially talking to someone who is not around to listen.

maki2, I hope that helps you understand why old forums have value.

 

[maki2]

some of us newbies find the information and conversation interesting and enjoy learning from others.

maki2, I hope that helps you understand why old forums have value.

you can use search functions on the forums to find all that stuff.

The issues come up when newbies expect replies to direct questions they ask in the old threads from those people who have not participated in the forum for quite a few years so will never be there to answer your question or reply to your comments. That leads to newcomers feeling frustrated by not getting answers and feeling like they are being ignored. To prevent that you will get reminded that you are posting in a very old thread that is no longer active. I hope that helps you understand why you area getting told it is an old thread and the person you are trying to communicate is not going to respond to you.

 

[Sage]

you can use search functions on the forums to find all that stuff.

The issues come up when newbies expect replies to direct questions they ask in the old threads from those people who have not participated in the forum for quite a few years so will never be there to answer your question or reply to your comments. That leads to newcomers feeling frustrated by not getting answers and feeling like they are being ignored. To prevent that you will get reminded that you are posting in a very old thread that is no longer active. I hope that helps you understand why you area getting told it is an old thread and the person you are trying to communicate is not going to respond to you.

Believe it or not this old bird understood about the current problems of unanswered questions. Just for some of us we learn from them regardless of their age. Thanks for the reminder.