Change of plans: Hubby getting his own van

[WalkaboutTed]

Well, we've been back and forth. I'm one who likes to stay in one place for a while and slowly drift around. Hubby is just the opposite.  He is willing to live the slow life with me, but I can always feel the vibrations of him mentally tapping his foot to move on.

The decision has been made, after we sell the house, for him to get his own van. This way he can do what he wants, when he wants, and we can meet up when it's good for both of us.  

Now there will be no room for any extras, money-wise. But it is fun to see him all excited, like a little kid jumping up and down like his birthday is coming.  Now we have to find a van for him. His build will be much simpler and cheaper, as his needs are pretty basic. He just needs room for his bike, his kayak and his metal detector.  

It's interesting how plans change.  Whoda thought? But now I'll have the big van to the dog and myself ( I get to pick her out, now, since she'll be MY dog).  It's cheaper than divorce-or murder. I think we would drive each other mad if we had stayed with the original plan.
Ted

 

[Putts]

Adulting...you're doing it right.

 

[tx2sturgis]

Thats a whole new twist on Rob and Laura Petrie sleeping in separate beds!

Or Lucy and Ricky Ricardo.

And all this time when we said someone was sleeping in the doghouse for misbehaving, they could have had their own VAN!

Who knew?

 

[CityWoman]

I've known several married couples in my life who are bicoastal, or binational, living separately in two homes and periodically traveling to see each other. So, yours is the vandwelling version! I guess you could be called... bivanal, or bivehicular! Haha!

 

[WalkaboutTed]

It hasn't been an argument. It's been a great concern for both of us, especially since I won't be able to wave him away and say "Go elsewhere, you're getting on my nerves!", as we'll have no home base like now. In the last year, we've spent two months apart anyway. I was worried, that aside from his bicycle, he'd have no transportation to get out of my hair..

Bob Wells, in his blog on March 12th, copied a post I made as a comment on another thread, about couples who have different traveling needs and desires.

If we weren't selling the house, we wouldn't have even considered this route. If the money situation becomes untenable, we can always get rid of the second van. With the separate "households", my mode of living won't change except more room for my stuff and peace of mind. And I will have to get an electric kit on my bicycle for errand running since my bicycling distance riding ability is way below Hubby's.

This isn't a workable solution for most couple, but we've been living like this for 21 years, so we know that it is doable.
Ted

 

[jimindenver]

You must have a very strong relationship. It is to be envied.

 

[TrainChaser]

You plan sounds like me walking down a beach with my dog: I would look back and see my footprints meandering along, looking for shells (etc), and weaving around my footprints were the prints of my dog, looping down to the water, running up to me, veering off to see if there was anything behind that log or clump of seaweed or mound of debris, back to me, back to the water, etc.

I was doing what I liked, and she was doing what she liked, but we still ended up together.

 

[AbuelaLoca]

I think it's a brilliant idea!! I would love a relationship like that! Enjoy, enjoy, enjoy and then relish in your times together!!

 

[TMG51]

bivanal

Is it just me or does this word sound dirtier than it was intended?

 

[akrvbob]

I think it's the only truly healthy relationship I've ever heard of.

 

[mco65]

I think its crazy.. which is why i love the idea..

 

[tx2sturgis]

I think it's a brilliant idea!! I would love a relationship like that!

The perfect woman.

:heart:

 

[WalkaboutTed]

Bob,
Healthy relationship? Au contraire-you haven't been a fly on the wall. We have our share of doozies! Why do you think that we have to have some serious time and space away from each other? It would be nice to be the theoretical, lovey-dovey couple joined at the hip, but ain't gonna happen. I don't want anyone thinking that we're an ideal, I just wanted to put out there that sometimes a strange compromise might be the only way to make a relationship work. We both came into this partnership in our late 30's with our pre-existing baggage and wounds and sometimes you can't glue together the ragged edges.
Ted

 

[slynne]

I was just thinking of this sort of thing today! I just get so annoyed with people, even those I love the most. And they find me annoying too! LOL So I need part time people :

I love that you arent letting your different styles of travel get in your way.

 

[bpdchief]

I've known several married couples in my life who are bicoastal, or binational, living separately in two homes and periodically traveling to see each other.  So, yours is the vandwelling version!  I guess you could be called... bivanal, or bivehicular!  Haha!

Brother-n-law lives in Lenox, GA  my sister lives in Baltimore, MD  works for them probably last 15 yrs or so. See each other once a month.