Can't plan two days into the future?

[offroad]

I love my relatives. But I seriously have some who can't plan two days into the future.

Then I ask them to plan two weeks, two months, two years, two decades --- and they have a stress melt down.

This is a society problem. Not that we can't fix the problems. Stuff happens and needs to be fixed. But if you ask someone to discuss their plan that went wrong, it's not that they have a plan that went wrong direction. It's that they have no plan and it was not even being thought of.

It's all daily management by fire drill. Fire starts and you do something. What a way to live.

So you release and center and let others crash and burn, knowing that all you can do is empathize, because they will not learn to have some kind of plan.

 

[Almost There]

I can only sympathize!

With my 'problem' relative, it isn't that she fails to plan, it's that her plan is a REALLY, really bad plan!

It is totally self-centered with no concept that it places burdens on others. It also has no basis in reality.

Add a totally stubborn nature to it and you have a recipe for disaster.

She did solve my biggest dilemma though - in the middle of a big 'discussion' on her lack of concern for her own welfare she threatened to replace me. If I didn't like the way she wanted to do things, I could be replaced.

So be it! I'm about to be replaced by paid help!

 

[offroad]

Costly lesson. Let it be learned. Let it be - Beatles song.

 

[Patrick46]

you won't reach your destination, unless you have a plan of how to get there.

your PLAN is just like a roadmap. Follow it, and you'll reach your destination. You may have a few detours and have to alter your route a bit, but you'll still get there.

 

[cyndi]

I don't have a solid plan, most days. Just an idea. However if someone needs a commitment, I can do that.

Back when I was working and raising a son I usually had plan a, b, c, and d. I don't miss that at all.

 

[Almost There]

I don't have a solid plan, most days. Just an idea. However if someone needs a commitment, I can do that.

Back when I was working and raising a son I usually had plan a, b, c, and d. I don't miss that at all.

I'm learning to do that plan in jello thing too! However, I still usually have at least an inkling of Plan B.

But I think what Offroad is talking about is not just 'what am I doing today' but those longer term life plans!

 

[mockturtle]

I like the good old serenity prayer:

God, grant me the Serenity
to accept the things
I cannot change,
Courage to change
the things I can
and Wisdom
to know the difference.


[align=left]Other people's behavior comes under the first category.  ​

​

[/align]

 

[cyndi]

But I think what Offroad is talking about is not just 'what am I doing today' but those longer term life plans!

Right now, my long term life plan is not to suffer through a cold winter New England type or a blazingly hot summer. that's all I got.

 

[ramblingvanman]

I can make and follow a plan if I choose, however I often choose not to plan. I prefer to be relaxed and take things as they come now. When I was married and lived in the sticks&bricks, I always had to stick to a tight schedule between work, kids and wife. I like this life better.

 

[JT646]

It's all daily management by fire drill. Fire starts and you do something. What a way to live.

Perhaps what's needed here is a one minute time machine

 

[akrvbob]

Of course balance is required in all things, but if I hear you correctly I think you may be off-balance. With a lot of people they think they are just making prudent plans but I see it as obsessive efforts to control their world based on fear.

I try very hard to live my life by the principles of Zen, and at the heart and core it is about living in the moment. Of course balance is always required so there must also be some planning for the future. But in my opinion way more Americans are obsessed with the future and pissing all over today than are living in the moment in the Zen sense.

If I err, it will be on too-little planning.
Bob

 

[flying kurbmaster]

I don't like planning much either, I strive to live in the moment, people around me sometime feel I don't plan at all, however I do keep a lot of ideas to myself, in the back of my mind, about alternatives if things go sideways. I like to keep them in there, parked in the shadows, so they don't mess with my day as they are usually hypothetical.

 

[akrvbob]

I don't like planning much either, I strive to live in the moment, people around me sometime feel I don't plan at all, however I do keep a lot of ideas to myself, in the back of my mind, about alternatives if things go sideways. I like to keep them in there, parked in the shadows, so they don't mess with my day as they are usually hypothetical.

That exactly describes how my life works!

But I like to muse about things out loud, just mull them over without any of them being a plan. And then at the last minute when I must make a firm decision, I do.

Drives my girlfriend crazy!!

I'll be talking about why we shouldn't do plan A, so she thinks we are are not doing that. Then I talk about the reason we should do it, and she thinks we are doing it. Later I'm talking about the reasons we should and shouldn't--at the same time!!! 

No matter how many times I tell her I'm just thinking out loud she still can't grasp it. 

I think a big part of it is if you are right or left brained. They are very different ways to think. 

Neither is right or wrong, just different.
Bob

 

[Tinman74]

I like to keep busy so I always have a tentative plan/ a to do list in my mind you might say but if someone says lets go bike riding or hiking or lets just sit by the fire and chat my to do list always takes a back seat. Nothing has to be done that can't be put off till tomorrow or next week for that matter.
Bob