'At Last'

[ggwoman]

As I interview real estate agents and property managers, tear down my house, eBay the interesting collections that earned me the praiseline  "man, this is a house of distinction!," as I sort through piles of belongings, papers, records, junk and once upon a time treasures, take loads to the dump and donate, I just keep wondering how in the heck did this happened?  How did I get here?? LOL

It's definitely wake up time.
Stuff filled a hole in me, how sad is that?  AND I've just been slumbering through it all, trying to keep going.  Let that be a lesson of sorts. Only do that which you love.  Life's way too short to waste time and precious energy and health on some dudley job in a field that is going awry.  I'm talking being a teacher.  A special ed teacher.  I used to LOVE it, but 35 years gives one a great vantage to see where the profession was and where it's going.  I disagree so deeply with the current propagandic thinking and power talking money and where it's talking this country. Thought I could fight it and change it once upon a time. Now I am only tired and disappointed.  I'm not alone. Plenty of disappointed teachers leave the profession every day.  Teacher prep colleges report huge drops in enrollments. Well, what did 'they' expect? Decades of teacher bashing, scapegoating, low pay and disrespect is beginning to take its toll.  I think that's what the plan is anyway now...get rid of all teachers, why pay them, when a computer program or robot can take care of the kids?  Kids today already spend inordinate amounts of time in front of screens, which is resulting in becoming passive aggressive, me oriented, weak people who are nothing, but organic extensions of the tech world "they've" dreamed up for our future existence. The public schools are adding more mandatory online programs and tests every year, resulting in even more hours of a kids day.  Separate them from the natural world, dumb down their ability to imagine, think and create.  Yep.  All you young parents out there, home school. It's not against the law....yet.

Anyway this is record of sorts. Every journey starts with a step. True. Only now reflecting on how it was so hard to start takign the first step to break down one's old life, I'm starting to now say HURRY HURRY HURRY, let's get it on!  Every thing I list on eBay is one step and a dollar closer. Every box filled for the yard sales and swap meets represent another load off my back.  Like so many others who have gone before, and which I didn't quite understand before, I need to make a few bucks as Hawaii doesn't make it easy or cheap to get away.  After 23 years, now I'm beginning to understand the desperate super sales people who leave the islands always have.  No wonder I got such great deals.  Well, I've arranged to sell most of the furnishings to a Hawaiiana reseller and will prolly only get half what it's worth, but it's one less thing to think about. I've joined the ranks of those who scramble to get out. Ha.

I remember (decades ago now ) when I lived on the mainland, I could leave with 50-100 bucks in my pocket and drive in any direction my heart took me.  Been going around in circles for so long on these islands, that all that wide open space is going to be a real experience of ?what? I don't know, but I am looking forward to breathing and living big again: heart, mind and soul. Had no idea I felt so squished, been keeping keepin' on for so long, I almost forgot living.  Funny how that shit creeps up on you.  Well, I'm awake now and it ain't no dream.  
Thank you, thank you, thank you whoever runs this universe.  Thank you for bringing Bob and Cheaprvliving and Without Bound to my attention.  Thank you for a wonderful man, I'm proud to call my Son, who utterly supports and admires and understands his mom.  "At Last".   An excerpt from his latest letter:... rejoice, take this time and make it the most peaceful of your lifetime.  Your profession will always be a part of you, and I think more than the profession itself, it becomes an identity, a safety net.  The worst part is, you can’t remember what you did before it, that’s what you’re about to find out except you are more set for the adventure minus some additional years in service. haha.  “At last”,  It took me years to understand what in the world that meant.  I think I get it now.  It’s truly a new chapter.

Love you Mom

Man, sometimes I can't believe I gave birth to such a wise and wonderful person.  

Enter Talking Heads "Once in a Lifetime" a song that keeps coming into my head.

 

[nobodyG17]

Best of luck!

 

[rvpopeye]

Welcome aboard ggwoman.
It always gives me a feeling of joy to see someone "get it" and get out !
Let your new life begin and hope to see you out on the road ....................


(Some people ask why I end sentences with a line of periods , being a teacher I'm going to tell you before you wonder . Those are the lines on the highway...........)

 

[USExplorer]

Escape from paradise, hmm? 

Hawaii is surrounded by sea & sky, with far more freedom than any landmass offers. 

Be aware that the open space of the West is no paradise. It is unpopulated due to the harshness of its climate and the lack of resources. Some come to love such an unforgiving place and embrace its dramatic natural diversity; some cannot stand it.

Good luck on your journey, wherever it takes you.

 

[ggwoman]

Escape from paradise, hmm? 

Hawaii is surrounded by sea & sky, with far more freedom than any landmass offers. 

Be aware that the open space of the West is no paradise. It is unpopulated due to the harshness of its climate and the lack of resources. Some come to love such an unforgiving place and embrace its dramatic natural diversity; some cannot stand it.

Good luck on your journey, wherever it takes you.

USExplorer,
Well, perhaps if you are a creature of the sea or a bird, you do have that sense of freedom. However, being human, unless you have beaucoup moolah to spend on airfare or own your own sailboat or private jet, you are surely landlocked. It's costly. It's well understood here that the initial sense of freedom newcomers to the islands have can turn into rock fever after a while. For some it happens within months. For many, it happens after a couple years. I have spent 23 years on various islands in the Pacific from Micronesia to Hawaii. It's enough. I'm looking forward to a change. I grew up on the West coast , have lived and traveled the Western US and lived under some pretty harsh conditions on islands and n mountains. Now, being on a desert for an extended period will be a new experience. I've only got experience crossing them at night. But then, if I don't like it, that's the beauty of being on land. You can just pick up and go anytime, anywhere. It's so much easier and cheaper.

 

[Yogidog]

Wishing u well in journey!

 

[ggwoman]

There has been such a flurry of activity the last few days.  I am madly eBaying away treasures I though I could never live without.  Last night I started in on my favorite collection and started crying.  Gee whiz, but this is emotional.  Then after letting out the stress for a few minutes, it dawned on me that why NOT let someone else enjoy this stuff? I could die tonight and not live to enjoy it anyway.  (I am still getting over my friend who died in January after only 13 months of retirement freedom).  That has lit a fire in my heart and under my butt.  Why the hell wait?? For what??  Anyway, once I broke the ice and listed my favorite things last night, it is much easier. The view from my desk is now one of boxes, bags, shipping supplies stacked over halfway to the ceiling as I have cleaned out my closets for the first time in years! :blush: LOL
Carol, who has sold me the trailer called for truck specs. SO nice, she's setting up the appointment to get the truck ready to tow, so when I get there, it should go smoothly. Lots of talk about stabilizers, braking systems, engine coolers...who knew? Lucky for me, she has everything safety oriented like the trailer brakes, new tires all round including the spare, sway controllers etc already done. WE just need to match up the truck to the trailer electric wise and heighth, weight wise so its ready. I am very relieved to hear from knowledgeable sources that I figured my towing ability correctly and all systems are go.
Back to work. Can't wait for the first swap meet to get rid of stuff, get the furniture and Hawaiian bric a brac out and clear the decks a bit. Layers, absolute layers of stuff. Final yardsale will be .25 and it's YOURS!

 

[Yogidog]

Someone closes to us dying makes mortality real doesn't it? I got moving a couple of years ago after helping my mom go through long slow painful death, best lesson she taught me. Clearing everything out after a lifetime of gathering is an amazing process isn't it ? I am excited for u yay!

 

[ggwoman]

Ok, it's only been 3 days since I started eBaying my stuff and it's up to $580 and change already with a week left to go. Ebay only allows a person to make 5 grand per month and it's late in the month so working really hard here to list stuff. Making progress on sorting stuff into piles. Having to choose only what I need and what I'd like to have is something else. I even backed out of an Easter invite with my crazy best friends to get this undertaking underway. The only thing I feel guilty about is I promised I would bake them a lilikoi coconut cake. Ah well. I have sorted out all my baking stuff into piles all around the house for sales, to mail ahead and it's a mess. I can't bake under these circumstances.

Yes Yogidog clearing out years long "collections" is a trip. I decided the heck with a swap meet, I DO NOT want to carry all this stuff to the truck, then to the booth and set up and then bring back whatever. Decided weekend yardsales would be better. That way everybody carries THEIR stuff away. Whatever is left goes to the goodwill. Simple.
The countdown is on and there so much to do and clear out of the way and I still need money for shipping the truck and flying the pets and getting registered and licensed in SD. Reasons to keep working and time is starting to fly. Back to listing. The animals sure know that something is up. Heh.

 

[lterry]

Ok, it's only been 3 days since I started eBaying my stuff and it's up to $580 and change already with a week left to go. Ebay only allows a person to make 5 grand per month and it's late in the month so working really hard here to list stuff.  Making progress on sorting stuff into piles.  Having to choose only what I need and what I'd like to have is something else.   I even backed out of an Easter invite with my crazy best friends to get this undertaking underway.  The only thing I feel guilty about is I promised I would bake them a lilikoi coconut cake.  Ah well. I have sorted out all my baking stuff into piles all around the house for sales, to mail ahead and it's a mess.  I can't bake under these circumstances.  

Yes Yogidog clearing out years long "collections" is a trip.  I decided the heck with a swap meet, I DO NOT want to carry all this stuff to the truck, then to the booth and set up and then bring back whatever.  Decided weekend yardsales would be better.  That way everybody carries THEIR stuff away.  Whatever is left goes to the goodwill.  Simple.
The countdown is on and there so much to do and clear out of the way and I still need money for shipping the truck and flying the pets and getting registered and licensed in SD.  Reasons to keep working and time is starting to fly.  Back to listing.   The animals sure know that something is up. Heh.

Congrats on your enlightenment! Also, good luck on your new life

 

[akrvbob]

Someone closes to us dying makes mortality real doesn't it? I got moving a couple of years ago after helping my mom go through long slow painful death, best lesson she taught me. Clearing everything out after a lifetime of gathering is an amazing process isn't it ? I am excited for u yay!

Death is by far the greatest teacher any of us can have in this life, and yet we cheat ourselves out of it's amazing wisdom by living in terror of it. 

Elizabeth Kubler Ross is my guru, and I love this quote from her (ggwoman, did you mean to quote it?):

It is very important that you only do what you love to do. you may be poor, you may go hungry, you may lose your car, you may have to move into a shabby place to live, but you will totally live. 

And at the end of your days you will bless your life because you have done what you came here to do. 

Otherwise, you will live your life as a prostitute, you will do things only for a reason, to please other people, and you will never have lived. and you will not have a pleasant death.

 

[ggwoman]

Death is by far the greatest teacher any of us can have in this life, and yet we cheat ourselves out of it's amazing wisdom by living in terror of it.

Elizabeth Kubler Ross is my guru, and I love this quote from her (ggwoman, did you mean to quote it?):

It is very important that you only do what you love to do. you may be poor, you may go hungry, you may lose your car, you may have to move into a shabby place to live, but you will totally live.

And at the end of your days you will bless your life because you have done what you came here to do.

Otherwise, you will live your life as a prostitute, you will do things only for a reason, to please other people, and you will never have lived. and you will not have a pleasant death.

No Bob, I sure didn't mean to quote her.  Guess I should read her stuff.  It's just everything I have felt, resented and stuffed down inside me the past few years has come loose.  It's like a dam has burst, now there's movement and exhilaration, and planning and joy. I am sleeping so sound and yet need less sleep because suddently I'm alive, really and truly alive and I can do this!  I needed a new challenge.  I have gotten so run down and tired, just existing.  This society's expectations are so unrealistic and such a thorn in my side again.  It's just time.   Because it is working out so smoothly and with magic, synchronicity, coincidence etc. I know it's definitely the Universe making way for it to happen.  For the first time in years, I feel safe again even though I'm tearing up my old world.  It's hard to explain, but it sure feels good and right.  THanks so much.  Hehe I heard today from a van dweller that you are the "Godfather" of the van dwelling movement. Pretty darn righteous rep you got now, eh?  

 

[akrvbob]

Hehe I heard today from a van dweller that you are the "Godfather" of the van dwelling movement. Pretty darn righteous rep you got now, eh?  

I wish I were, but there is NO truth to that.

I'm just the one with the biggest mouth!!! 
Bob

 

[ggwoman]

I wish I were, but there is NO truth to that.

I'm just the one with the biggest mouth!!! 
Bob

LOL. Well, I understand that maybe you haven't sought that title, but that's the word out there now, so who's to say? You've helped so many people of all different stripes, situations, made this website, the RTR, and helped developed a very interesting and growing segment of society. Will be interesting to watch how society in general goes in the future. Peeps are tired, they want something more worthy than our current condition can provide. It's not satisfying.

 

[ggwoman]

Well it's been a little over a month since I visited my own log.  Have sold $5000 worth of stuff on eBay. Been going through the throes - negotiating with myself,  parting with old ideas regarding retirement life, lightening the load and seeing the world through new eyes....you know that way of looking at everything you have known, loved and cared for and knowing that you will never see again - saying goodbye.  I watch my little 4th generation chook flock wandering the garden, the wild ones who come for food, birdbaths adn general sanctuary, the orchids and anthurium gave me a beautiful show last month and now the roses and gardenias are having their turn.  The little lime tree covered itself for the first time completely in flowers.  Lilikoi greeting me with "Good Morning" in the cute singsong way she has, Klondike the cardinal on the rail demanding his breakfast.  I'm looking at everything with last time eyes and there is a catch in my throat, a tear in my eye and I ask myself, how can I leave?   There are things I will definitely miss.  And some I won't.
Like cucarachas, fire ants, vog, hot humidity destroying everything and rats the size of kittens (huge overpopulation of them this year and they are actually eating the baby birds in their nests!) the fights from the new neighbors down the street, the trash being thrown away on the roads where I walk my dogs.  Inexplicable really, since it costs nothing to go the dump here. That is one thing I have always admired about HI, it tries its best to make it easy to be green. So many humans are just lazy and careless. That bothers me.
There has been a large population increase here in the Big Island, especially the last couple of years. Partly because the land is still affordable (very active Kilauea), Oahu has decided to send their increasing population of homeless people to the outer islands to help solve their problems (not good for the tourist industry you know), but the traffic is getting crowded and time consuming.  The lot behind me just sold, and so there goes my privacy.  The infrastructure is being put in place, so what was once quaint is looking more like Honolulu.  

Yes it is time to go. But it sure was nice, and I find myself dragging my feet, but at the same time anxious to get the move over with.

That's another thing. There is a LOT of change involved this time. Work status from overworked to retired, home status from cozy, I know where everything is to the unknown, money from enough to half that amount. From having everything, I need and want to leaving it all behind. From a life heavily scheduled to the point of no work/life balance to absolute freedom. From rock fever to the big wide open world again. It's like when I release birds to the wild, it takes a while. You never ever just open the door and take the bird out and toss it into the sky and hope for the best. They must be nurtured through the transition and on their own time in order to be successful in the wild. I don't have that luxury and it makes me wonder.

Questions I have to keep in the fore front while continuing to get rid of everything. I only have one shot at this:
Do I need this or want this?
Is it irreplaceable or can I find it again somewhere down the road?

It costs $$$ to ship to the mainland. So mailing is the only real option.

I wish I could forecast the changes coming, but I can't.

 

[ilovemyvan]

Was it as difficult when you left the main land to HI? Did it take you a long time to get use to your new surroundings? I'm sure you thought about it but just in case, take pictures and videos off it all before you leave. From reading your threads and posts, I am absolutely convinced that you will do fine. It's just cold feet, they will warm up in the Southwestern sun . There will be a few glitches to deal wiith but I suspect they will be easier than the glitches you would be dealing with if you'd stay.

You know it will be as good as your dreams, if not better!

))))hugs(((((

Nicole

 

[rvpopeye]

I would miss some of that too it IS an amazing place to live .
You will find new things to enjoy and appreciate the same way. plus the whole tribe is here to help you find them.

$5000 from ebay ? you're doing well ,,,,,hope you get through figuring out what to send here and what to sell/give away soon so you can stop worrying about that.

Hey maybe make a list with photos and post it here ,,,, who knows , somebody might want some of it and pay the costs to get it ! ........it could happen !

 

[ggwoman]

Was it as difficult when you left the main land to HI? Did it take you a long time to get use to your new surroundings? I'm sure you thought about it but just in case, take pictures and videos off it all before you leave. From reading your threads and posts, I am absolutely convinced that you will do fine. It's just cold feet, they will warm up in the Southwestern sun   . There will be a few glitches to deal wiith but I suspect they will be easier than the glitches you would be dealing with if you'd stay.

You know it will be as good as your dreams, if not better!

))))hugs(((((

Nicole

Nicole, Rvpopeye
No, it didn't feel the way it does this time, except for the fact that once I make up my mind, things go fast.   Hawaii wasn't even on the drawing board, just happened to be on a layover in Honolulu in '95 and decided to stay. And funny, it's the first time in my life I ever felt at home somewhere.  But the last couple of years it hasn't felt the same anymore. So, I started looking into traveling and decided to live as a gypsy, because I have no idea where I want to live, I only know I want to explore and just be for a while.  It's only that right now life's feeling loose and without a ground and it's harder to say goodbye than I thought it would be. It's also the first time in forever I have not had to make minute plans, set goals, prep for a year long and that's a big adjustment for me.   It'll be a growing time, that's a fact.  A year from now, no doubt i'll look back on this and laugh at myself.  Yes!  I'm looking forward to the feeling of the desert and mountains and forests and rivers.  I want to see that huge canopy of stars, broad skies, prairies, see those tremendous mountains and the red rocks. I've never seen a Joshua tree,  the aurora borealis or fireflies either.  Lots to look forward to.  

I'm glad you asked those questions.  Thanks for kind words and hugs.

 

[Queen]

I'm on the flip side of you, ggwoman, I've been so many places and seen so many things, so they're all in my memory and I desperately want to back to some of them while I'm still able... this time without the time restrictions I've always faced.

My beloved is slowwwwly coming around to this idea (we bought a condo in FL so she could fill her need for a home base) but now, while we're still working, we're saving like mad to buy a rig and get back out there!

Sure hope to meet you on the road!

 

[ggwoman]

I'm on the flip side of you, ggwoman, I've been so many places and seen so many things, so they're all in my memory and I desperately want to back to some of them while I'm still able... this time without the time restrictions I've always faced.

My beloved is slowwwwly coming around to this idea (we bought a condo in FL so she could fill her need for a home base) but now, while we're still working, we're saving like mad to buy a rig and get back out there!

Sure hope to meet you on the road!

I traveled around the US quite a bit before landing in HI. Got my gypsy blood from my mother. LOL  I had always planned to see Australia, NZ and China.  But HI is a very poor place for those who live and work here. Underpaid, and cost of living just keeps soaring. Gas and food is double the mainland prices, electricity is outrageous and there has always been such a severe shortage of teachers especially in my field (Sped) so that I have had caseloads of 18-26 requiring mammoth amounts of time over and above the regualr school day. IT's gotten progressively worse since NCLB, so that when weekends and holidays roll around, it's recovery time.  I thank god for my naturopath, great dentist, chiropractor and massage guy for keeping me going  - I have been damaged physically, emotionally and spiritually by the tremendous stresses of this job and i am so grateful to finally know that as of June 1 I am retired.  This is going to be a journey for the spirit as well as my physical self.  Just one last big push is necessary to get off this rock. I am so very exhausted right now.  I need to stay aware of how that is affecting me too.  It does feel good to lighten the load.

I understand your sweetheart's need for a homebase.  Eventually, in a few years I will want another one too, but it will be on the mainland and I will keep my traveling vehicles just the same too, to satisfy both needs.  For now I will keep the house in HI and rent it out to 1-2 of the 1600 young teachers they are needing to hire from the mainland to help close the shortage.  It is a wonderful little place. And if Pele decides to eat it, oh well.  That's the way it goes.  

No doubt we will meet up on the road.  For sure at one of the tribe's gatherings. Looking forward!