Anyone here looked at assisted li-...I mean nurinsg homes?

[QuirkyBar8]

Maybe someday I'll get the whole dying with dignity thing, but I doubt it. The notion that's it rare or nonexistent was firmly planted when I watched my ex's dad take his last breath after about 10 years of Alzheimer's. I liked that guy alot and having to explain that he wasn't seeing gremlins on his pop up hitch was anything but dignifying.

The way my brain works, this brings two different songs to mind to help explain things. Isbell's Elephant (which he'd sing to annoy people when he was on a no festival playing kick) and Fred Eaglesmith's How's Ernie?.

 

[Cammalu]

Who can afford assisted living or nursing home? Isn’t that about $6,000 a month to start?

I can’t afford that


I found a chart for average cost by state here:

https://www.seniorliving.org/assisted-living/costs/


I’m in Kentucky and average is $3,330. That’s actually a lot less than I thought.

Looked up nursing home costs by state

Over $7500 a month in my state

https://www.seniorliving.org/nursing-homes/costs/

 

[travelaround]

State and federal assistance for the care of the elderly
https://www.eldercaredirectory.org/state-resources.htm

Since most of us can't afford the cost of assisted living or nursing homes, these are the resources we'll be looking at when that time comes, if it does come for us.

 

[Cammalu]

Problem is that a lot of those programs you are only eligible for if you are on welfare.

I worked and am not eligible for welfare and Medicare and my secondary insurance don’t cover any kind of nursing home.

I could have a ton of services now had I not worked.

 

[StarEcho]

If you talk to an elder care attorney you can find out about a trust that you can put your extra monthly income over what qualifies you for Medicaid if you need to be in a facility.  You don't get to keep the money...it all goes to the facility but at least that way you would qualify for Medicaid services.

https://www.elderlawanswers.com/medicaid-and-trusts-12004

So you don't really have to lose out if your social security and pension combined push you over the income limit for medicaid.

 

[Cammalu]

I don’t really understand that. Are you saying that I can put all my monthly income into a trust to qualify for Medicaid? What about the money that continues to come in monthly? What about homes and properties?

One of my sisters lived life hard. She worked off and on but spent way too much time partying and living crazy. I know she was in the pokey a couple of times and had a drug and cigarettes problem that eventually ate her health away. She’s on oxygen and living in a house welfare rents for her. She has two people coming by daily to cook and clean for her and take care of her.

She is on oxygen and still smoking. She lived like hell and was a crappy person stepping on everyone she could.

She is taken care of but for me Medicare won’t be paying for anything neither will my secondary insurance. I see something desperately wrong with the system.

 

[geogentry]

I worked in three different homes. After an accumulation of several years I can say that I will never go into one of my own free will. I intend to keep traveling until I drop dead. Like someone said - the dog or a wild animal will get me. It may not be painless or comfortable but I will die free and with all the dignity I can muster.

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[travelaround]

Well, there's always the option of starving yourself to death and then you won't have to worry about wild animals causing you pain. There are other less painful options. Taking a long walk on a snowy day would do it.

Anyhow, I will just drive till I can't then find a place to live until it is my time to leave. I'm not going to do anything to intentionally shorten my life. For me, at least, it wouldn't feel like the right choice.

 

[geogentry]

Well, there's always the option of starving yourself to death and then you won't have to worry about wild animals causing you pain.

I'm not worried about a wild animal attacking and killing me. I'm cautious. But if I drop dead when I am not in my tent or in my car, where the dog would eventually work on me. I suspect a coyote will clean up my campsite by removing the body lying about. I don't think a bear would touch a dead body.
That was actually what I meant.

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[travelaround]

Okay... makes more sense than intentionally sacrificing oneself to forest creatures.

 

[jeanmarie]

What a trip.
Where's the "assisted living" facility for fat bikers?

Try touring the freaking place and they got all torqued up over a doobie lite up as we toured the gardens.
(Guess a few stealth plants would be out of the question.)

As we all decline, either quick ends or the drawn out kind hit us all.
I cannot imagine sharing a room with someone not my own partner.

Anyone else left these "advanced facilities" only more sure of driving to one of the self-death-legal states and drinking the sleepytime-juice??
When life becomes one of those poor people I saw moaning, smelling like...oy vey. Bad stuff.
Some of them had the whole 'TV in bed' thing working in private rooms, but I think I'd rather skip that, thanks.

There are "stay-at-home" programs here, but income/asset limits make them out of reach.

Who else has toured one of these facilities with the 4200 dollar a month efficiencies?

"That does not include any coverage. You get billed for that based on a per-use basis."

($165 for a "fall and cant get up."   ("Nursing" interventions cost more...after your call is evaluated.)


I was having a hard time not laughing.


There is one in CT I remember well that was very different.
McClean Home. (Used to be called that, anyway.)

Totally not-bad old folks digs.

Besides that...where do those who do not fit in the mainstream spend their years of decline?

If Mrs G passed and I was on my own, I think I might have a better retirement hiring Slabbers than what I saw today.
(Dead serious about this ^^^^^)

Have any of you thought about the end?
Where you will go, what is in place?

At a bare minimum, do you have a Guardian chosen and signed on the dotted line all legal like?
Are you aware what would happen if picked up by medics in public?

Old age is not for the weak or faint hearted.

 

[Dingfelder]

The whole deal is that, yeah, they are going to charge you money rather than giving you hand-outs. I don't know why this should be a problem. Once you run out of money, you are home-free. You are the only class of people that the government will take care of for the rest of your life. The people I've dealt with as a guardian conservator are absolutely living more safely and hygenically and in most cases so far at or far, far better than the best places they've ever lived in their lives.

Don't want to lose your money or spend it? Then don't ask the government for free money to pay for your care. The government does wonderful things for elderly people, but it is absolutely not obligated to help you keep your wealth while spending hand over fist for your care.

 

[maki2]

The original poster of this thread recently passed away.  He did after all avoid that which he could not reconcile himself to the thought of....living in a nursing home.

 

[mert3957]

JD GUMBEE "Who else has toured one of these facilities with the 4200 dollar a month efficiencies?"

I looked at one in the town where I live. It's beautiful and everything is done for you, very high cost, of course. I was convinced I wanted to live there until I made another visit as part of a writing group doing a presentation. The residents were either too tired or too anxious to stay. They slept through it, giggled inappropriately, were disinterested in what was going on around them, some appeared quite depressed. I'm not putting them down, just observing that it doesn't appear I would have much companionship living there.

I'm with you, Walkabout Ted.

 

[Cammalu]

Mert- JD Gumbee has passed.