Anyone else nervous about quitting a perfectly good job (by society's standards)

[FreeToBe]

Has anyone else here quit a job that was fine, but unfulfilling, to get out and live life?  I've had the house on the market and now it's gone to contract, so the possibility of it happening are becoming more real all the time.  I've had this all planned out, but suddenly starting to feel panicky that I'm throwing away a 30 year career that I might could work at for several more years (BTW, I'm 58).  But, when I say "career", it basically means sitting in a lot of meetings and listening to a lot of nonsense - there has to be more in life.  However, the closer being able to leave gets to possibly being a reality, the more apprehensive I'm getting.

I've read Bob's post on philosophy, which has really helped (I read and re-read his post entitled "Quotes to Inspire You").  But, I'm nervous that I'll chicken out and lose several more years of my life.  I have pins on Goggle Earth of all the places I want to visit before I die, but fear of letting go are becoming more intense than I expected.

 

[BigT]

I've been thinking a lot about quitting my job and running away, but the thing that stops me lately is the insane cost of private health insurance.  :s

Well, that and the fact that while extremely boring, my job, driving a "tech bus" for a major high tech company, pays extremely well (for the industry).  It's also just about the only work I can do without aggravating an old back injury, so it's pretty scary to think about dumping it and trying to start over someplace else, or not working full-time at all and having to pay for my health care.  

I figure I'm just having a midlife crisis (I'm 51).  My work is sooooo boring, unsatisfying, unrewarding and unchanging, but it offers a steady paycheck large enough to allow me to stay in the Bay Area, and free benefits. 

I too would love to travel the country before I die, but the idea of quitting a good paying job I could likely keep for the rest of my life, if I wanted to, and going out on the road in a van, is really quite frightening.  

I'm also concerned, given posts I've read suggesting it, that the van life isn't all it's cracked up to be.  
The stories you read are always written with a sense of romance, intrigue  and adventure, but I can't help but wonder if living in a space smaller than my closet, pooping in a bucket and bathing out of a tub of soapy water with a washcloth, might not get old after a while.  

In addition, because I've been here so long and have rent control, I pay less than 50% of what anyone moving to the Bay Area would pay for the same apartment.  Because this is the only place I can get the job I have with the pay I enjoy, if I leave and give up my apartment, then find I don't like the van life, I'm screwed!  

I guess the short version of what I'm trying to say is that I'd love to hit the road, but I feel trapped and overwhelmed!  :s

 

[Cammalu]

Freetobe I'd like to hear about the places you've pinned on Google Earth.

BigT - do you really want to live in San Francisco anyway? That would be a punishment to me. Even if you want to go back to work you don't have to choose to live in such a high cost of living place.


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[WalkaboutTed]

I walked away from my RN "dream job" and pay. I loved the patients, hated the suits. I've kept my license so I can give flu shots if I'm broke.

But I never would have been able to do it without health insurance. That's a toughie! I'm a Federal widow, so I've had it since my husband died when I was 36. I don't recommend that route, but there has to be some work-around for you.

The demise of the ACA is going to make it hard for a lot of people. My youngest is stuck in the Reserves after four years of active duty because of health insurance. He's heard too many horror stories from me about patients with no insurance to go without his own. He's just glad he didn't get out, expecting the ACA to be there for him in vain. I've already had one kid in Iraq though, it would suck if my youngest ended up going there just because he needed health insurance. Unfortunately, he could be called up with the current regime. It sucks for the soldiers, Marines and sailors, but it's not a cakewalk for a mother or dad to look at the casualty lists every day your child is over there (they didn't list the casualty names online, just the unit).

But, you say that you don't know if you would like the lifestyle. That's a big possibility, especially if you have no experience with living rough, or close to it. Why not get a tent and gear and do some camping - where it is cheap, not on the coast.? Going into the "poop in a bucket" life style is not for everyone.

I'm crossing my fingers for both of you.
Ted

 

[Optimistic Paranoid]

FreeToBe and BigT, why does it have to be all or nothing?

The sensible thing to do is to keep your current well-paying jobs and apartments and buy a van - or whatever escape vehicle you think you want - and do the complete conversion, solar and everything.  Then start taking trips - weekend trips, vacation trips, etc.  Move up to sleeping in the van more and more.  Ease into the life and discover for your self if it is really for you or not.

 

[BigT]

^^ That's what I've been doing. ^^

 

[Almost There]

And not everyone 'poops in a bucket' nor bathes in a tub with a washcloth and lives in a space smaller than the closet. A very large walk in closet maybe but not any closet I've ever had...  

For a lot of us, it's the way we CHOOSE to live, others who are economically disadvantaged would like to have other choices but have different priorities. But it doesn't sound like the OP is amongst those that have no choices.

I definitely don't live rough as anyone who knows me will attest!

How big a home on wheels you choose to live in is YOUR choice...mine was a van because I like to travel economically (good gas mileage and maintenance costs). I have everything on board that I absolutely need and nothing that I don't. If I was willing to pay the costs, I could have a much larger home on wheels,I CHOOSE not to. I consider my van to be a studio apartment!...

I don't poop in a bucket, I have a marine grade separating toilet because I CHOOSE not to use chemicals in holding tanks and pay dump station fees BTDT don't want to do it again.

Yes, I admit I had to take a washcloth and soapy water bath the other day. I'm in the final end stages of a move of 'home base' across the country. Normally here in the summer I pay for monthly gym access but since I was only going to be here for less than 2 weeks it didn't make economic sense to pay for a whole month (it's $65.00 a month here for the only gym in town). The pools aren't open yet here and the lake water is just too damned cold. I heated water on the stove, poured it in to my pump sprayer, shampooed my  hair in the sink and then washed up with the hot water I didn't use out of the tank. Would I rather be standing in the outdoor shower...heck yes, but not in Ontario in early May when we had snow on the ground 2 days ago. For 90% of the year that's not my MO.

Right now I'm sitting in my 'living room' typing on my laptop with my morning drink in front of me. I'm warm, dry and comfortable. In an hour or so I will turn the key and start meandering across Canada, sightseeing as I go and end up on the west coast near my kids. I was offered a 'home base' by one of them but all I need is his address...

 

[FreeToBe]

Big T - I hear you - we are in similar boats.  I do think I could get another job if I wanted and I'm in reasonably good health, but I doubt it would be a job at the same level or pay as this one.  If I knew for sure how health care was going, that would make the decision somewhat easier.

WalkaboutTed - Health care is one of the biggest factors for me to consider, since I'm still ~7 years away from getting Medicare.  It scares me to think that I might leave and then in the next few years not have access to health insurance.  Of course, on the flip side, I'm also worried about staying in this job too long and not really experiencing all live has to offer.  We've had several people here at work that have died very early and many others that have died within a year after retiring.  Not sure if it was the stress or what.  I guess I'm worried more about not actually living than dying from not having health insurance, if that makes any sense.

Cammalu - I'll make a list of the places that I've pinned and post them.  I usually watch videos of travelers on YouTube and if I see something interesting, I pin it on Goggle Earth.  Some of the ones I can think of off the top of my head are Valley of the Gods, Sedona, Mount Rushmore area, several campgrounds in Montana, Wyoming, Idaho, and Utah, and of course, Yellowstone and the Grand Canyon (well, really, just about all of the National Parks).  There are dozens of pins and a lot of them are just some little National Forest, BLM, or similar dispersed camping area off the beaten path.

Optimistic Paranoid - I have done that in the past with a Class C that I owned.  The problem was that I just didn't have time to devoid to it with any consistency because of my work, my house, and family health issues (among other things).  However, now I might do something similar to what you're suggesting (although where I live is a tough place to do that in the winter).  After I sell the house, I may go ahead and get a van or RV, but I'm undecided on the timing as of yet.

Almost There - The life you are describing is exactly what I'm envisioning.  My biggest thought is that I want and need to simplify.  I am taking the first big step with that by selling the house.  That should take care of 75% of the complexity of my life.  Selling the house is scaring because I've been so busy getting it ready to sell that I haven't really thought much about how emotionally it will feel after living there for 22 years.

 

[mayble]

I have been at the same job for 21 years.  They've been good to me, the work is easy, the co-workers (mostly) very nice people.
I can't stand it anymore.

Yes it's nerve-wracking to think of walking away from the paycheck and the health benefits, but the alternative is unthinkable - to sit at this desk until my government approved retirement date or die quietly in the corner, all the while working to maintain a house I don't want to shelter me in a climate I don't like.

If I need more money, I'll get another job.  If I don't like being on the road, I'll settle somewhere appealing.  Every "If" has an answer.  It's the "If only" that scares me.

 

[waldenbound]

I think it's leaving familiarity that's so scary. We get comfortable, familiar, then that leads to complacency. It then becomes fearful to leave all that's familiar and comfortable.

 

[FreeToBe]

Mayble - Your situation describes my situation to a tee.  My job can be very stressful at times, but can also be very calm and quiet at other times.  I'm not a police officer, but I've heard it said that it can be a rather boring job, punctuated with pure terror.  My job can be similar (plus, lots and lots of meetings).

Waldenbound - I totally agree.  It's the familairty and the feeling of security, which is very much a false security (just ask the people we've laid off over the years, the most recently a few months ago).

gsfish - Based on your response, sounds like you've had no regrets at all.  Did you end up traveling?  If so, what kind of vehicle?

 

[gargoyle]

Play weekend warrior before making a full-timer investment in vehicle and accessories.
But to invest $1,000's on a "oh this looks fun" adventure vehicle and quit your job seems silly.

-Baby Steps-
Vehicle can be most anything. Your travel can be camping in the garage/driveway. Or a local park. It will give you a small sense of the lifestyle and a good idea of what you need to be comfy in a vehicle.

Try a weekend, then a week. Use what you have. See if traveling and all that is van living is for you.

Keep your income rolling in.

 

[FreeToBe]

Gargoyle - I've done the weekend and week thing for several years, including when I was a kid with my parents.  I've owned a Class C and have done week long trips in it, as well as a tent and sleeping in the car, travel trailer, and pop-up.  All were fun and never any insurmountable problems.  I'm thinking that I would like a Class B and could live in it for extensive periods of time.  Also, money is not that big of a deal if the sale of my house goes through.  I guess I'm more worried about those intangible things, such as guilt that I'm not working (my Dad retired at age 80 and I will never hear the end of it from him) and something inside questioning whether I did the right thing.  Also, the future of health insurance is a concern of mine.

Thanks everyone for your comments, it's helping me to put it all in perspective.

 

[FreeToBe]

I should add that the only part of camping of any kind that I've hated is having to come home and go back to work.

 

[closeanuf]

If you happen to be a veteran there's alway VA healthcare.  It has drawbacks but there are no monthly premiums.  Depending on your income there may be copays.  You do not have to be retired military to get it.

 

[Optimistic Paranoid]

Also, the future of health insurance is a concern of mine.

If health care is that big a concern, I would think it will be settled, one way or another, within the next year.

 

[slynne]

yeah. when people complain about the VA, I have to admit that I wish I had access to that health system. Had I known when I was young how health insurance works in this country and that I would, like many before me, experience “job lock” due to no good way other than being employed to get health insurance, I might have joined the military. I guess 18 year olds don’t think of such things. OTOH, I have a friend who is really super F'd up from being shot in Iraq so you know, there is that.

Job lock is a real thing though. If it isn't affordable to buy health insurance in the individual market, I will die if I lose my job because I can't afford to manage my chronic illness without health insurance.

 

[FreeToBe]

closeannuf - Unfortunately, I'm not a veteran.

Optimistic Paranoid - Yes, I agree.  And it might be worth waiting a year in order to see how health care goes, plan things out, do some test runs in a new rig, etc.

 

[FreeToBe]

. . . OTOH, I have a friend who is really super F'd up from being shot in Iraq so you know, there is that.

Job lock is a real thing though . . .

Yeah, the being shot and shot at is a real downside, which gives me tremendous respect for our veterans.

I'm definitely feeling the effects of "Job Lock", but I wonder how much of it is real and how much of it is just in my mind.

 

[slynne]

Job lock is always entirely in the employee’s mind but generally refers to cases where someone can’t quit a job because if they do, they will not get their basic needs met. So if you have a situation where if you quit, you will starve or be homeless or not get your health needs met, you are experiencing job lock. Unless you are enslaved though, you can always quit.