A question more uncomfortable than "Where do you go to the bathroom?"

[Sonnyblu42]

I am retiring early next year at 62 (Take the money and RUN!) and I want to become a "full timer" I have been trapped in a place that I really really hate for 20 years called Florida. My Soul is and has always been in the West. But anyway... for those of you who have had to sell your homes to do this or had no choice about having to do that etc... My most uncomfortable question is... "Where do you plan to die?" "Are you planning on dying in your van?" I would like to know Bob's views on this subject also... and also... "Who do you leave your van to?" "Do you keep your Will in your glove box?"

 

[cyndi]

My son has all that information in the form of a living will. I don't necessarily want to die in my van because the smell of death tends to linger. I do hope to be in control of my death. I have several chronic health issues. I'll know when the time is near.

I hope to donate my van to HOWA

 

[B and C]

Donating the van to HOWA never entered my mind. Great suggestion. The son has all the paperwork. I really hope to be out and about when the time comes. Hopefully, I'll have the presence of mind to sit under a tree when the time comes with a bottle of whiskey. I will be cremated.

If you have family, leave the will with them and have ICE (In Case of Emergency) information in your phone and in your van.

 

[RoamerRV428]

only just tagging into the 60 area in a few years
planning on being full time in about 4-5 yrs

I don't care one bit where I die. What goes down goes down in life. I got the will, I got the 'possible escape plan' if infirmed plan in set for both of us but in the end, death knocks on the door and what goes down goes down for us.

all info the kid will have for emergencies. kid will have will and instructions on what to do next. being an adult and we both chatted with this I am sure she will handle the next phase of it all. as many have done before

it is the living part up til the death I am more worried about then the 'where do I actually die' part.

 

[Stargazer]

I was an RN in a level one trauma center for 15 years, county hospital in large metro area.  Worked in the trauma ICU.  Have seen (too) many people die, most unexpectedly.

It will happen when it happens, probably not the way you hope.  It won't matter where or when and it most likely won't be the way you'd choose.

The man who fell off the ladder while hanging his Christmas lights.  The boy who dove into a river while on an outing with his church youth group.  And the numbers of motor vehicle accidents...

Where, when and how won't matter to you.  You'll be...well...dead.

Personally, being one who always wants to see what's down "that road", I am curious to see what's down THAT road, cuz then you will KNOW!

 

[Blanch]

I have chronic health issues and I won’t be doing this forever. I’m getting very tired and this isn’t getting easier. I’ve clocked three plus years on the road so far....

I have an app on my phone that my adult children use to follow my movements. If I don’t answer my phone or move for a few days they can call local authorities with my gps coordinates. If I pass someone will be here looking for me in a few days, I won’t smell up the place that quick.

I have a Will in with my papers.




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[MrNoodly]

This became a real question a few months ago. I'm 67 and have been a happy nomad for six years with no intention of ever living in a building again. I had told myself that in the hypothetical future, if I ever got to the point I couldn't take care of my myself, I would end my life. The bold and in control way out.

Then in May I was diagnosed with stage 4 throat cancer. Okay, would I fight it or get out the gun? Um......................................... I decided to fight it, even though it meant coming in off the road and staying with a friend. Even though it meant surrendering control of my life.

What would happen if treatment didn't work? What to do with my body? What to do with my van? I should've gotten that all worked out, but I've avoided it. I guess I've been clinging to that last bit of control. "I decide this."

Well, I'm going to survive this. The cancer is gone and now it's all about recovery from the side effects, and future monitoring of my condition. I'm itching to get back on the road again, but I have to wait a little longer.

Of course, the end of life questions will come up again some day. We're all going to die. I can't predict how my attitudes will change by then. All I can do is make arrangements so my passing is as little burden to anyone else as possible.

 

[Qxxx]

Seems to me that when you die, it doesn't matter if you're in S&B or on a mountain top. Make a will and let someone else worry about what happens afterwards. My sister the lawyer keeps telling me this: make a will.

Of course, she expected me to leave her half, as I don't have kids, but I figured to leave it mostly to my other sister's grandkids for a college education. Haven't heard from the lawyer sister since. I had previously indicated that my other sister would get the condo, and I swear, she had already started making plans. $$$, ding, ding, ding. So make a will, and don't let your siblings know what's in there, until its too late, LOL. No matter what you do, they'll be unhappy.

 

[MrNoodly]

This became a real question a few months ago. ...

By the way, I think it's sad that discussions of one's death are generally considered uncomfortable in our culture.  (It's also sad we're uncomfortable talking about where we go to the bathroom.)

 

[MrNoodly]

...If I pass someone will be here looking for me in a few days...

My attitude has been, if you don't hear from me, don't bother looking. Just let me decompose.

 

[DLTooley]

Considering an earlier death maximum is a good frame on calculating risk.

Does anyone have a simple will that accounts for van dwelling possessions and an on the road location?

 

[Riverman]

Everyone needs a will and also an "In case of Emergency" file in plain site inside your van, RV or whatever.

It should state your next of kin and their full contact info, not just a phone number.

It's also good to send a copy of your will to those listed in the will, but many won't do that for whatever reason.

 

[lenny flank]

"My will is easy to decide
For I have nothing to divide."

 

[jim solo]

A bit morbid but lots to think about, I know if (when) I die on the road some body will steal everything I got from around me. So, I don't worry to much about death, just life, and enjoying it for as long as I can.

MrNoodly, good to hear you will be around for a while longer, hope to run into you out there some day.

 

[Blanch]

My attitude has been, if you don't hear from me, don't bother looking. Just let me decompose.

I have two dogs with me that I would like to continue living, so I’d appreciate someone grabbing them.

I also have some health issues and would appreciate someone coming to rescue my ass if I’m only unconscious.


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[cherterr]

I plan to NOT go to a nursing home. An I'm stickin' to it!!

 

[INTJohn]

In 399 BC Socrates was put on trial for corrupting the youth of Athens. He disputed the charges but refused to beg for mercy. Because of a lack of remorse, he was found guilty of the charge and sentenced to death........

Faced with the prospect of having to raise 3 children by herself, Xanthippe, Socrates' wife was very upset and on the day his sentence was to be carried out, she cried & wept profusely in front of both him and his friends.

"Please", Socrates said to his friend Criton, "Have someone please take her home." And she all other women were banished form the area. Socrates believed that Death was no time for mourning and then surrounded by his male friends he drank the poisonous hemlock fluid. His usually stoic friends all then welled up with tears themselves; began to cry aloud themselves.

Socrates who was now walking & exercising around the chamber so the poison would more quickly flow thru his body, responded incredulously, " I asked the women to leave so as not to have such a scene, what is wrong with you? gather your tears and have control. It is good that one should die in silence & control so please be silent among your selves, too."

He then continued his exercise until his limbs were numb and he could no longer stay upright. He then laid down, and with his last words spoken to his friend Criton, "I owe Asclepius a chicken, please don't forget ot pay it."

Sooner or later something murders all of us, let the deed be done with as much dignity as possible and embrace it debt free..........INTJohn

 

[GraceinMotion]

This subject hits home today in particular after learning a dear colleague is retiring early due to terminal cancer. As Robbie Burns wrote, "The best laid schemes o' mice an' men / Gang aft a-gley." I don't care what happens when I die; I just hope I get a chance to experience full time nomad life before I go.

 

[Day Dreamer]

I'm not "planning" my death. I figure it will happen at some random time that I have no control over so I just LIVE.

 

[Headache]

Sooner or later something murders all of us, let the deed be done with as much dignity as possible and embrace it debt free..........INTJohn

At least I won't owe anybody a chicken!

I have nothing worked out which annoys me because my mom didn't have her stuff together and 15 years later neither my brother nor my uncle care to deal with it.  My dad thankfully did get his stuff together after both us pleaded with him to not go out like mom did.

Right now the only things I care about making sure are taken care of are my cat and dog.  They are the loves of my life.  I don't want them ending up starving to death somewhere because I croaked and no one knew where I was.  I don't give one rats ass about my carcass.  I'll be living it up in the next world!