I've been a member for some time.....but.........

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If you don't want your kids hanging around after the age they should be gone get an early start on being tough on them when they mess up! Just joking of course. I am not a family therapist and only give terrible advice regarding family life 🤪✌️

Every family has it's own dynamics as families are very different blends of previous parenting role models versus children with a wide variety of personality types as well as likes and dislikes.
No one can predict what retirement will really be like, there are way too many variables.
Very wise comment Maki2 !
 
Yep, I waited until my Jr year of college, and then ... zoom... but in almost every case of people I know NOW with kids who won't leave, drugs are involved. I do not envy them.
I'm a boomer with no kids. I was just reading an article about grandkids expecting their grandparents to raise their newborn...and the 52 year old grand father said no- this is his time now for travel etc and the daughter threatened him with a nursing home later down the road.
I'm glad I'm in a unique position to do my thing at my age untied.
 
I thought that was a sponsored advertisers.

Most of that kind of stuff is showing up from IP's in India in the early morning here...presumably in the middle of the work day there...it must be profitable for companys to blast that crap all over the internet or they wouldn't be doing it. I suppose somewhere, somehow, the links are clicked by somebody enough times a day to make a few bucks for them. I think there should be a way to fully block ALL the IPs from that part of the world, but the spammers would surely find a way around that too.

In our case here, when we relax the rules for newcomers, that type of spam becomes visible to everyone. If the rules are tightened up, the spam posts are still getting in, but you guys don't see the posts because they require individual approvals from a mod or admin before they are seen 'in public'.

And yes I detoured the thread, apologies to the OP...now back to your regularly scheduled programming!
 
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I have forgotten who said this or where I heard it, but a long time ago someone said "I was told by my dad that when I turned 18 my corner of the table was sawed off an my plate got broke."
Always loved that line.
I should look up who said that, but I have a busy day scheduled: I 'm putting a tuck in the Airedale, and then I got the frogs to let out.
And later, have to figure out where the damn cat dragged my shoelaces.
 
All four of my kiddies moved out at appropriate times and I was good with that - until my youngest moved out a couple years earlier than I anticipated, at the age of 15. I'd been thinking I had a little more time with him and I grieved the loss of my "last baby." I cried on his shoulder as he left. I knew it was his choice and he was going to a safe place with his dad, but still... I felt cheated.

PS - I'm over it now... LOL
 
When I was about five years old, my mother laid an emotional trip on me about how worried she would be if I ever ran away, how hurt she'd be, and all that goes with that kind of thinking. Because I was so young, it affected me very deeply, making it hard for me to leave even after I was twenty! I felt strong guilt that I was not fulfilling my responsibility to be "the obedient child". So parents, please don't lay this kind of trip on your kids.

Secondly, I was forever over-protected at home, while not taught nearly enough about the outside world, nor allowed to experience it, nor shown how to succeed in it. My father even said "I'm afraid you'll just get sick and die out there somewhere" when I was twenty-four! So when I did leave -- moving 2,000 miles from Texas to Washington State -- the letters and phone calls from parents -- as well as dollars sent to live on -- were endless. And I felt deeply responsible to accept it all.

Instead, I wish they had given me realistic outside-world experiences as early as possible, and expanded those experiences as I learned to handle them. Then I would have been ready to successfully deal with the world on my own. But instead, after I left, people told me I was acting so much younger than my age, truly immature, which made developing real friendships very difficult for me. (And relying on Mom and Dad like a twelve-year-old was truly ridiculous.)

In short, please don't lay a "You can't leave me, I'll miss you too much" trip on them! The feeling of guilt that results from that is hard to ever shake off. And teach your kids from the very start, how to live out in the real world in every way you can, as soon as you can, helping them grow into each aspect of life through experiencing it. Help them become true adults.
 
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Just a couple of thoughts.
I am at the very end of the time line to be a baby boomer so I have a lot in common with the next generation.
Going to college was covered by grants, not student loans until I went back to school in my 30s. Even tho I took out very little in loans, it still took me 10 years to pay them off. It really was different for Boomers cost wise in school and housing. That is why so many children end up back home as adults.
That being said, if you have children or other family living in a home you own, GET A CONTRACT or lease just as you would if you were renting out to a stranger.
Many a person has helped out family only to end up in very dire circumstances because of their kindness. Up to and including losing the home and having to continue to pay off utilities and fines.
 
Just a couple of thoughts.
I am at the very end of the time line to be a baby boomer so I have a lot in common with the next generation.
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Same here. I often feel like I have just as much in common with the Gen X folks as I do with Boomers. I read one article that called our generational cohort "Generation Jones." Google that and you'll get a bunch of references, incl even a Wikipedia article :D
 
I haven't been very active. I joined when I got nomad fever. Just after retirement.

That happened a bit earlier than planned. I was only 58 years old. But my job was turning into garbage. Revenues had fallen badly, with no real prospect of recovery. Those who still had jobs at the place were suffering badly. And I despaired of finding anything else worth having at that age. So I retired gave up the rat race. I haven't regretted this, by the way. Life has been better this way.

My wife actually retired a bit before me. She did it in order to take care of her aging father, who has since passed away. She's a bit more listless in retirement than I am. She surely is happy not having to punch a clock. But she's having a bit more difficulty than I in finding constructive things to do. She's doing more "nothing" than I am. It's not really severe and I think she's more happy than not. But her notions of "what to do?" are less solid than mine. (She got out of the workforce at a mere 52 years of age. Some people have all the luck :)

I love my home. It's modest, but it has virtues and we've been here 30 years now. But it demands too much of me. When I was working 40 hour weeks.........plus other times being a sole proprietor, which demanded even more time.........I would do what absolutely had to be done on the home. And I'd dream of the day when I could devote more time to our home. I had plans for the place.

But in retirement I've found that I just don't seem to be able to make much progress. I work myself to exhaustion and soreness, only to feel disappointment that I've accomplished perhaps 10% of what I wish I'd accomplished. Time and time again.

And I think I knew it would be this way when I retired. At least, the notion of setting up a tiny home on wheels and hitting the road for better weather was very, very appealing to me. And my wife was on board with this. "On paper" anyway. What I found, though, was that she'd become mule-ish......and even a bit destructive.......when I'd get close to starting out. Even on very small 'test' trips which didn't involve long distances. I reached the conclusion that while her interest in getting out and seeing a few things was probably sincere, she was panicking when it came time to take the plunge.

To be fair to her.....I had not provided the sort of road home which many ladies would dream of. I've collected some perfectly good camping equipment. Some of which is now four years old and only now getting it's first uses. But our vehicles were anything but those one would consider for van life. She has a Chevy Impala and I have a Chevy pickup truck. Standard cab and nothing fancy in it at all. I figured the two together would be adequate for getting our feet wet, rather than jumping straight into some other vehicle. It seems my logic did not sway her.

But you know what did sway her? It was when I said, "Why don't I get us a mini-van?" Boy.....she was on board with that!!! She was so enthusiastic that I realized I'd better not dawdle. So I bought it just a few months ago. Just before Easter, I think. Not brand new. But not far from it either. A Chrysler Pacifica.

I expected it to be good. I find that I can hardly praise it enough. I honestly doubt if........say..........a 1965 Imperial could be more comfortable. And it would probably be inferior. Longevity? Well.......it's too early for me to testify. But I'll guess that a Chrysler mini-van.....properly maintained......can be trusted for some time.

We've already been on two, week-long camping trips with it. We'll be going on a two week trip here in about a week. Plus we did a month-long 4650 mile trip from early May to early June. About two weeks of that trip was spent visiting my brother. Who has in-law quarters in their basement. So the Chrysler was merely parked in the driveway during that time. But we camped for the last week of the trip at a spot about 8 hours from home. And during the actual travelling my wife got her first tastes of sleeping and showering at a Flying J, for instance. And she found it enjoyable. By the way......4650 miles with an average MPG of 28.1. I'm impressed.

She found the shower tent thoroughly okay with her. She's not even too very intimidated by the porta-potty. She will go to a bit of trouble to reach plumbing if at all possible. But she's getting along without it without apparently suffering. And she found that having a porta-potty in that van when in the desert is very handy. She probably would have doubted my word on that. But they say that experience is the best teacher......

When we left on that month-long trip I powered the house down and shut off the water. Only a few days later, my sister-in-law moved in. Powered everything right back up and opened the water shut-off. Damn it! I was trying to save some costs there! It's actually not as bad as it sounds. For one thing, when this has happened before it was one of my darned kids. I love them. But two out of three are too damned feckless to take care of business in any meaningful way. Such as keeping a stable roof over their heads. At a rather advanced age, I might add. We're getting tired of bailing them out.

But my sister-in-law is a different matter. She kept a job faithfully since high school. It's been just about thirty years now. And she's provided one of my children a place to live for many years now. She even intends to leave her house to my kids. (I do, too. And the two homes are right in the same neighborhood. So I guess they won't be homeless.) But last fall she had a health crisis. And her recovery has been slow. It's not clear that she'll ever be able to work again. I think I regard it as doubtful.

So now she'd fallen on hard times? Well......she's most certainly got a home with us. So moving in was not a problem. I do wish she'd have given me some notice.........but........okay. I might have just given her the money to make her liabilities. But I couldn't have done that forever. And maybe it's better this way. We'll all live a bit cheaper and she'll be relieved of keeping a house up and running. I've tried to help her with that. And I've made some contributions. But I have trouble keeping up with my own house. I think it's better this way. She and I get along well. She once remarked that I soothe her. And she's had need of soothing at times during her life, I can tell you. She and her sister......my wife.....get along pretty good. Though they are capable of bickering unnecessarily. Yet I can usually get them to stop that silliness. Both of them have always needed someone to lead them out of their combative anxieties. And I've been working on them for more than thirty years now. And I've made some progress. Their volatility is not wholly gone. But it's definitely less. I think we can live harmoniously most of the time.

I guess if she can't return by fall her company will be able to terminate her. I suspect that even if she makes it back, she won't be particularly wanted there. And I doubt if anyone else would be very interested in a roughly fifty year old, questionable health employee. She's probably going to have to retire.

If she does retire, then she's pretty enthusiastic to just go out on the road with us. She's all in on a travel trailer in the 5000I lb or so range. I've been urging her to think smaller. She doesn't know what she's getting into there. I won't be too uncooperative there since it's not my choice to make.

But she recognizes the desirability of cutting way back on the responsibilities and worries of maintaining a conventional home and living a simpler life. Both she an my wife seem to be more hopeful even than I am of spending this coming winter in Arizona or some other warm place.

So......we're not van-lifers yet. But we kinda hope to be before a year or two have gone by. And maybe we've established ourselves as part-timers. And I'm glad.
I really enjoyed reading this .it has a very calming effect on me.
I think you would make a great writer.
I look forward to your next post to see the lastest.( I'm retired and paint most of the time as an artist.
Own my home.
I haven't did the Nomad thing fulltime yet but identify with this nice group.
I have my 93 Dodge Ram van , Purple Haze parked in the back and I'm slowly doing renovations .)
It's good to do the Nomad thing at your own time and speed.
 
Well, we've had Gen X, Gen Y, and Gen Z. Now if I remember correctly, nothing comes after Z? Is someone trying to tell us something? Hurry up Musk, I need to get to Mars really soon!
Gen. A has the reins right now LOL
Gen A: Generation Alpha starts with children born in 2012 and will continue at least through 2025, maybe later (approximately 48 million people in the U.S.) The term “Millennial” has become the popular way to reference both segments of Gen Y ---gen Y is 1981 to 1996.

My kiddo is Gen Z.
I am Gen X. But honestly I feel like Gen D....D for Dinosaur HA
 
I hear the "grown kids can't be bothered with keeping in touch" story quite often, too. On the bright side, the parents then need not feel any guilt for hitting the road and not looking back ...plus they won't be expected to come running everytime Junior needs bailing out of a situation.
 
I also gave my children choices. Go to college, get a job for spending money, can live under my roof till 21, 22 or as long as I can afford. 2nd option, work full time and pay me rent. It didn’t work out that way.
My daughter moved in with her boyfriend, now married over 10 years. My son, well, I made some mistakes, he made some mistakes but now he is doing very well. Family, house, job. Never finished high school and waited 10 years to get his GED. Aced it, just as I knew he would. The traditional education system does not work for him. He can learn anything as long as it is not done in the traditional education method. Both my children are so much smarter than I am.
I am fortunate to have both of them still living in town even though we don’t see a lot of each other.
 
I left home at 15. Hubby got his first job at 4 (Farm labor families put kids to work as soon as they could) We bought our first house when I was 17. My family was complete by the time I left my teens. I did the GED then some collage and got my degree. Hubby put himself through collage and got his degree.
My kids had until high school ended and then if they wanted, we would help, repeat help, with collage. One did for a year, his chose to not continue, the other decided he would move out the day after school ended... yep he was ready to be away from all our rules. That we enforced. No drugs, no drinking and driving. You want something beyond what we give you (basics by that time) get a job. Pay for your own car insurance or park your car. Want to talk to me - no cussing and no disrespect! Friends had the same rules. Yardwork had to be done, clean up after yourself etc. He was out of the house and found that adulthood is harder and even less forgiving, so he moved home again. Not so fast kido! Want to move home A. have a job! B. we know when you get paid. So, half goes to us. We will put 60% of what you give us into a bank fund account for your first and last rent stuff. When it reaches a certain point then 40% goes into your bank fund and 60% to us. And we still live by the same rules as before. We both work and had early start time, so no noise, phone calls (still old land lines) after 10 o'clock and if one of the friends called, they were told NO grumpily by a tired one of us. It was hard for him, but he learned to regulate himself so fast when we really did get his money and had his bag beside the door when he tried to wiggle out of stuff.
We love our kids and miss the heck out of them, we still have a great relationship with both of them. For some reason neither one came back after the first time.... Oh yea and I painted their room pink and refused to paint it back. That was hard for the oldest when he came for the week ends. Weekends was when he ate the best and did his laundry and all that stuff. He did get a care package when needed. We live on an island so sneaking over didn't work as they had to pay their own way on the ferry.
Both kids are great and have found unconventional ways to live. I am proud of each of them.
 
People are just weird, each in his/her own way. I guess that's why we get up every morning (or stay in bed all day).
 
I know it's an old thread but I wanted to offer some observations here.

I've been around the RV Scene since the late 50's and the introduction of the 60's Van's. The earliest RV's would have started when motor vehicles were first mass produced. Henry Ford produced his own truck camper and along with his famous friends, the self styled Vagabonds Thomas Edison, Harvey Firestone and naturalist John Burrough caravaned in cars for annual camping trips from 1913 to 1924, drawing national attention. "Glamping" as it became known back then. (Glamor Camping) was more appealing to the whole family where in the earliest stages if was more fathers & sons.

Into the 1920's RV's were gaining notice with the public but the economic crash of the 1930's, WW2, Korea, and the rebound until the 1960's set RV's back for decades. The advent of Vans in the early 1960's gave new life to the concept however. Surfers wanted Van's and others fixed them up as "Party Car's". (often called Hippy Van's)

RV-Adams-Motor-Bungalo-1917-631.jpg


Notice the wood spoke wheels used by Ford until 1927.

Ford's House Car concept. Circa 1937

ford-house-car.jpg


By 1959 David Peterson, an aircraft designer pondered his idea of an RV that could tow his motor boat for when he went fishing. General Motors was introducing the Corvair at that time and the engine and two speed auto transmission offered with it was his solution for an air cooled drivetrain. By the later 1960's his "Ultra Van Motorhome" was ready. (I've ridden in one of these and the interior was functional as an aircraft interior of that time in basic gray. (bland to the taste of most women of the 1960's)

Ultra-Van-icon.jpg
One of the nice things about the Ultra Van was that the bed was over the engine so it would warm the bed. If the oil needed to be checked the bed was hinged at the aft side so the bed could be lifted up to access the engine. The engine would warm up quickly and deliver heat into this motorhome. Many Aviators purchased these to keep at the airports they operated from as a home away from home.

What has led to the boom in RV's by the 1970's was that the 1960's was the decade of "Franchised Businesses". By the 1970's RV's were designed with women's taste in mind. (something she could be proud of and want to show off....and agree to DH's wanting to purchase) RV salespeople in this time were taught to "sell to the wife". Thus the 1970's became the decade of RV's. (for those who had purchased franchises, their accountants could list the RV as a vehicle that can be used in that business thus deferring some of the expenses of it if used to travel to business meetings)

Vintage-WInnebago-motor-home-camper-770x513.jpg


RV's like this 1970's self contained Winnebego could offer year around usefulness for business or pleasure. If something happened where a storm knocked out the power grid, you could stay in it until the power was back on as the RV has an onboard generator.

RV's have been refined since now going on 100 years of production and use.
 
Great pictures, and thanks for sharing.

Our very first RV some 22 years ago was a 24’, 1977 Barth Class C motorhome.

AKA The Breadbox on Wheels.

We sunk a ton of ,money into it, put about 20,000 miles on it and then sold it for practically nothing after the engine went out.

But, we learned a lot and it was a great grandma-and-grandpa mobile for camping trips with small grandkids.
 
We also sold the house and went full time in a 1983 28’ Barth Class A that served us well traveling across the country about 20 some years ago. It is headed to the scrap yard finally after many miles and then setting as an apartment allowing us to live in a beautiful place cheaply. I started out with a tent and a 1968 CJ5 Jeep in 1970 after I couldn’t afford off base rents in Tucson, lol!!! Looks like I’ll end up back there!
 
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