What happened to "I Love You"

[wagoneer]

all this chatter and no real serious group hug,,,, OK I may be feeling a bit alone lately

 

[GotSmart]

all this chatter and no real serious group hug,,,, OK I may be feeling a bit alone lately

Asking that question has gotten me in a lot of trouble.  

I will not go there.  

 

[nobodyG17]

I'm perfectly fine being alone and usually prefer it.

I keep my eyes peeled for the right one though.   Meanwhile all the wrong ones keep me company.  Damn them and their pretty smiles.

 

[cyndi]

Sending hugs, Adrien!

I'm not lonely but I am frustrated and bored out of my mind (waylaid in Vegas)

 

[HarmonicaBruce]

Sure, here's a big cyber hug.  The nice thing about cyber hugs is they don't spread disease or body lice.  People don't shake hands because it might spread disease, they do a fist bump or elbow bump instead.  But, they'll hug complete strangers (I see this in churches).  They'll all stick their fingers in the same vessel of water then throw it on their faces (catholics), as if "holy water" doesn't spread disease.

So if someone could explain what "I love you" means, I might start using the expression.  What I don't understand about the human species is their neurotic habit of repeating themselves over and over.  If I was to tell someone "I was born in Oklahoma", that would be fine.  If I were to tell them "I was born in Oklahoma" several times a day, day, day after day, most people would admit it was strange.  Yet I know couples who tell each other "I love you" (without ever defining or knowing what they mean) several times a day, day after day.  Are they afraid the other person will forget?  Do you think they're so stupid they need to be reminded, over and over?  

I take the Donald Trump approach.  Donald loves every one ("I love New Hampshire", "I love South Carolina", "L love the poorly educated"), and so do I.  Whatever the heck that means.  Because, in fact, it means nothing.

 

[Snowbunny]

Not Really - but I've been there.

 

[SoulRaven]

So if someone could explain what "I love you" means, I might start using the expression.  What I don't understand about the human species is their neurotic habit of repeating themselves over and over.  If I was to tell someone "I was born in Oklahoma", that would be fine.  If I were to tell them "I was born in Oklahoma" several times a day, day, day after day, most people would admit it was strange.  Yet I know couples who tell each other "I love you" (without ever defining or knowing what they mean) several times a day, day after day.  Are they afraid the other person will forget?  Do you think they're so stupid they need to be reminded, over and over?  

I take the Donald Trump approach.  Donald loves every one ("I love New Hampshire", "I love South Carolina", "L love the poorly educated"), and so do I.  Whatever the heck that means.  Because, in fact, it means nothing.

Gosh, that's a cynical worldview. Have you never felt anything you might label as love?

I typically say "I love you" when either I'm feeling it so strongly in the moment that it feels natural to say (in fact, unnatural to withhold from saying it) or when, in fact, the other person may need to be reminded/reassured of the fact. The former occurs often with my boyfriend; the latter more so with my parents.

"I was born in Oklahoma" is a very dry fact, and past tense at that. It'd be strange if you were constantly inspired to repeat that fact in everyday life.

The worlds "I love you" relate more to emotions, to present and future life direction and decisions. E.g. my boyfriend calls me on his lunch break and we're both having an off day and manage to verbally trip over each other the entire call. Not having any sort of argument or disagreement, just on different wavelengths that manage to make each other feel even worse. It's not usual for us. We had to end the call when his break was over, and I quickly sent him a text: "BTW...I still love you. " I was feeling cruddy but I knew that much to be true, and he later told me that receiving that brightened up his day considerably. It communicated that despite having a very "off" moment and no immediate chance to fix it, at the forefront of my mind was still good feelings associated with him being in my life in this way. It let him know that he didn't screw up and that I still felt goodwill towards him, at a time when he otherwise would have been blaming himself and perhaps bracing for emotional fallout.

More common for us is "I love you" for the tender moments when we're particularly struck with deeply rooted complex relationship-y feelings, whereas a playful "I like you" is more simply affectionate. Either or both get repeated whenever we feel like it, and it makes us happy.

My recent post mentioning "I love you guys" meant "This particular group of individuals brings me lots of good happy feelings that I really appreciate, and I'm feeling it particularly strongly at the moment." The phrase does not mean nothing unless the person speaking means nothing by it.

 

[VJG1977]

I take the Donald Trump approach.  Donald loves every one ("I love New Hampshire", "I love South Carolina", "L love the poorly educated"), and so do I.  Whatever the heck that means.  Because, in fact, it means nothing.

It means nothing when it is a lie, it means everything when it is the truth.

 

[Patrick46]

I take the Donald Trump approach.  Donald loves every one ("I love New Hampshire", "I love South Carolina", "L love the poorly educated"), and so do I.  Whatever the heck that means.  Because, in fact, it means nothing.

that's right...because Trump only loves MONEY...and MONEY is not a 'real' thing. So he loves Nothing.


I feel sad for you both, as NOTHING beats LOVE. :heart:

 

[mockturtle]

that's right...because Trump only loves MONEY...and MONEY is not a 'real' thing. So he loves Nothing.

Of course, we know that Hillary has a real aversion to money!   :dodgy:

 

[speedhighway46]

I am repeatedly amused when big name entertainers are interviewed and "always" tell the viewers how much they "love their fans . . ." and try to sound so sincere about it. People actually believe this stuff.

They don't even know 99% of their fans; how can they love them.

What they should say when they are interviewed is, "I just love my fan's money!"

 

[mockturtle]

Love has many different forms. I love my dog but not in the same way I loved my husband. I love certain places. I also love chocolate. You guys are making too much of this whole issue, IMHO.

 

[HarmonicaBruce]

I really love jelly donuts, really.  But they make me fat, it's not good for me, so I kicked them out of my life.     

Donald Trump really loves oreos, but he kicked them out of his life because Nabisco moved their plant to Mexico.

 

[GotSmart]

So you are passionate about ~~~~~~
There are many words for love in different languages.  It all depends the level, and the direction.  The love for a friend can be more powerful than romantic love, (or not) It depends on many things.  

I love chocolate with the love only created by a powerful chemical substance.  I refuse to live without it, but on my terms.  I am diabetic, and regulate the intake strictly.  

Lasagna is best kept out of sight and mind.

 

[Wanderer]

all this chatter and no real serious group hug,,,, OK I may be feeling a bit alone lately

Well the old saying "It is better to have loved and lost, than never to have loved at all"

OK, I got that covered and God that lost still haunts me to this day...Glad to be alone...

I don't think I could take the heartbreak again....

 

[user 2252]

Love is the sacrifice one makes for another, with no thought of one's own.

 

[flying kurbmaster]

you guys are making way too much halaballu about the word love, in my mind it is simple, that is why we can love all kinds of things and all kinds of people whether we know them or not, I look at it like this, another word for love is compassion and another word for compassion is care so if you care about someone or something you love them or it. Simple!!! If you are seeing stars or are needing to contact every other minute that is likely co-dependence or some other form of mental health posturing as love.

 

[wayne49]

What does a poll on "do you feel lonely" have to do with "what happened to I love you"?

 

[GotSmart]

you guys are making way too much halaballu about the word love, in my mind it is simple, that is why we can love all kinds of things and all kinds of people whether we know them or not, I look at it like this, another word for love is compassion and another word for compassion is care so if you care about someone or something you love them or it. Simple!!! If you are seeing stars or are needing to contact every other minute that is likely co-dependence or some other form of mental health posturing as love.

They Be Twiterpated!  I could use a bit to feel alive again.

 

[DarthVixen]

Love can be defined in many different ways and can manifest in many different forms from being as simple as "just caring" for someone to "head over heals in love" with someone else. It really depends on the connection, who/what it is, the type of feelings/emotions associated, and a variety of little tid bits that are unique to you that makes whatever it is it's own thing.

If you are seeing stars or are needing to contact every other minute that is likely co-dependence or some other form of mental health posturing as love.

There are many reasons why someone would see stars that wouldn't necessarily label someone as mentally ill or codependency. In an extreme case of obsession or "seeing love through rose colored glasses" then it's possible. Someone feeling excited about a connection whenever their significant other is around means it's going well. Emotions are flying high, the relationship could possibly be healthy. Heck there might be some PDA *cough cough.* I've seen a lot of couples with new relationship energy celebrating their relationship with the "happys" as-well-as seen older couples who have been together for 50+ years and still act as teenagers experiencing their first kiss after an amazing date (or better yet, kissy and cuddly).

Messaging someone every minute of the hour because you're insecure, clingy, or otherwise (every single waking moment mind you) is of course, unhealthy. Messaging someone every now n then throughout the day because you two absolutely have a lot to talk about or just love to talk in general is okay. Some best friends do it all the time. So do some lovers. As long as it's consensual and both parties agree. However, moments of insecurity, clinginess, jealousy, or even codependency is normal and okay. Example: when Bitty and I talked on the phone that day, we were having a lot of technical issues on top of tripping over each other. I was on break, and she had finally put time aside considering how busy she gets on a day to day basis (I swear she is the busiest person on the planet). We were looking forward for this escape and because it didn't go well, I did blame myself for it. It was of course my phone that was acting up and I felt bad simply because it went a little too far south than I was prepared for (bad day all around). However she did text me "I still love you". In no way was I second guessing that. In no way did I even begin to question our relationship. It was a reminder to me that it's okay to make mistakes every now n then. It's okay if things don't go as planned. In the end, we still love each other. And as silly as it is, sometimes we need to be reminded that we are loved. When we're strongly feeling it, I'll say it and she knows I mean it and life gets 10x better. It's one of our love languages. Each couple is going to be different. For us, communication (verbal and non verbal), is at the top of the list.