The good, the bad, and the ugly truth

[VanGrrl57]

Hello Theadyn.

I want to thank you for sharing this. I am a recovering addict (Crystal Meth) and have been clean and sober since July 3, 1985. I will PM you with contact info if you need to talk to someone. I truly admire your courage in sharing your story. Once again, thank you. Please don't hesitate to call or text because you would be helping me, okay?

VanGrrl57

 

[Gigi]

I am in awe of the courage to share your story. Good for you for doing so. You dont have to suffer or do it alone. Be gentle with yourself on this new journey. Sounds like you have been through an awful lot. Best thoughts being sent your way!

 

[cognitive dissonance]

Congratulations, Pamela!

You're obviously a tough cookie, so I expect you'll prevail. I'm happy to hear you like AA and have found a good group. This was a huge help to my dad after he quit drinking. He attended all the time at first and at least sporadically for the rest of his life.

I don't stop in here very often anymore, much less read this section. Tonight I did, and it really lifted my spirits to know that someone, somewhere wasn't giving up. You see, just last Friday I drove a friend home from the hospital after his second alcoholic seizure/car crash, and he's not inclined to do a damn thing about his drinking. He looked me in the eyes and told me he doesn't care if he lives or dies. I have helped him out a few times now, and this time I had to tell him not to call again, that I would no longer be enabling his behavior.

This was really tough for me. He's a great guy and has a heart of gold. It hurt a lot to have to tell him to stop calling. So, thanks for telling your story! 

Looks like on the way to figuring out who the sober you is. I can already see that she's a terrific lady - I hope you figure that out for yourself, and sooner rather than later!

 

[GotSmart]

Congratulations on having the strength to go to rehab.

I watched a lot of friends destroy their bodies and families on meth. My father drank himself to death. After a personal battle I cold turkeyed myself clean to save my children.  I never had the strength to go to rehab.  23 years away from meth. I can take or leave the small stuff, but I still get the shakes (and sick to my stomach)  just smeling a meth head walking by.  

Now all my vices are in moderation. Pizza, pastry, In~N~Out Burgers. 

 

[DannyB1954]

It looks like a good percentage of us have danced with the devil. I wonder if it contributed to being a nomad later in life. As far as myself, even after over 38 years sober, I still don't think like most "normal" people.

It would make for an interesting poll. In your past life did you party to excess, or did you use alcohol or drugs beyond what a normal person would consume. Something like that.

 

[jaxtonsgram]

THanks for sharing. My 26 year old daughter is an alcoholic. Most times my husband and I feel so alone dealing with everything. My family doesn't say anything but I know they think it was poor parenting on our part. She's been to rehab 3 times in last 18 months. She just got out 2 weeks ago, had a chance to go into a woman's sober living house, went back to boyfriend instead. We have finally made the choice to let her go...for now. We have been in rescue mode with her for 5 years. I went to a few Alan on meetings, didn't like the group.  I know, I should try another group...anyway...thank you for sharing. It's a tough road for everyone involved. Stay strong. Nora

 

[ArtW]

I've ridden this train, as a rider and a passenger
I was a speed freak, at one point, pretty tame, but there it is
My ex was into speed at one point, long before I met her, or so she said, then after 10 years clean, started using crack
I spent the next 10 years trying to 'save' her / my marriage, Well, I did after a year of being in denial as to her use, because, y'know, pedestalizing, my sweet angel couldn't possibly have become a crack head :O

You can't save an addict, you simply can't, you can try, but it has to be their choice
It has to be their choice
Theadyn, stay strong, know you made the right choice, know that you are better than that, and hold yourself above it

 

[jimindenver]

It would make for an interesting poll. In your past life did you party to excess, or did you use alcohol or drugs beyond what a normal person would consume. Something like that.

Over the tears there has been weed, speed and drink. I got tired of them all and then the doctors decided it was better to control the pain with weed than anti-inflammatory or narcotics after it became legal in Colorado. It's one of the reasons I am glad I left the State.

 

[Queen]

I consider myself extremely lucky to have avoided addiction. I came of age in the late 70's and worked bartending in gay bars in the early 80's, we could have redefined excess. But I met my beloved at the close of the 80's and she wasn't in the life, so I walked away. Ever grateful it was my choice.

 

[DannyB1954]

My family doesn't say anything but I know they think it was poor parenting on our part

Children are a roll of the dice. Some of the best parents have some of the worst kids, Some of the worst parents have some of the best kids. 

I agree with others that you can not save anyone. There is a saying that you can lead a horse to water but you can not make them drink. The way rehabs work is if the horse is there long enough it may get thirsty. Until she makes up her mind that drinking and using are not fun, there is little anyone can do.

 

[masterplumber]

Wow Theadyn, I rarely get down to this sub forum. And tonight I decided to check it out - glad I did as your thread was at the top. As others have said, it takes a lot of courage to get sober, and even more to share the journey with others. But you don't have to do it alone. You of course have your blood family, which is awesome because many have burned those bridges. But as you can see here you have a whole tribe that has your back. I'm praying all goes well for you and we get to see you again at next year's RTR, if not sooner.