Thank you. Strangely in a way, maybe sometimes it's kind of safer to try and park a class C rv that sticks out like a sore thumb in the city, and maybe sometimes it's harder to do it in the more rural areas, where the locals notice anything out of the ordinary much more readily. Harder to blend in and camouflage. I sort of practiced looking just in my area today, not Santa Cruz, and passed some industrial areas, and quiet residential and commercial areas, and I thought to myself, "I bet if I parked and slept here, no one would really notice or care." Kind of counter-intuitive. <br><br>Oh, but my dream is to find some beautiful secluded spot. Away from all this noise. My heart and soul needs it. I wish I could just bawl out my eyes night and day. I'm tired. And I miss her. What the hell is it that we're looking for? I mean come on, some of us do this not because we need affordable shelter or not because it's fun, but because we need to. And we look for truth in nature, in ourselves, in poetry and books, in philosophy. But God is the only one who can fill that damning void. <br><br>So anyway, I got into contact with someone from an ad on Craigslist. She lives out in the forest/mountains. She told me she might know someone who might have a place for my RV, and I'd pay something like $200 a month. It hurts, because Bob in his book talks about how he's only spent $10 or however much, in years. So man, that hurts, especially having so little money. But, it would still save a lot of money. And every chance, I'll be hunting for that beautiful, perfect spot insane writers spend writing at. And it will cost what it ought to cost: free. And we can be free from every single prison, including the prison of this body and this life. Encumbered by flesh. Heh, sorry. Anyway, I know what the meaning of life is. It didn't take decades of meditation, or an LSD trip, a climb up Mount Everest, or a near-death experience. It is in the eyes of every single human being on this planet. And it is to do good, to save life. Salvation. <br><br>Maybe I'll put out an ad on Craigslist, like some others have. More likely to be in the city, but hopefully just temporary until I find a place. Worse comes to worse, I know someone who knows someone who might let me park in front of their residence. Lol, real adventurous "Into The Wild" right there, huh? In front of an upper-middle class home in a safe neighborhood. Possibly even gated. Don't even have to worry about bears and coyotes. How daring and adventurous. Maybe some teenage kids might pelt some rocks at my RV, or try to smoke pot inside it while I'm at work. Just like Thoreau, really. <br><br>I re-read Into The Wild some time ago. I have no doubt in my mind that if Chris were an atheist, whatever he went through, at the end of his life he believed in God. I was an atheist once, but I swear I was actually an agnostic, or really, I believed in God, I just didn't know who or what He was specifically. I believed that there must be something more. And I believe all of us, even atheists, believe that. They may reject the notion of a traditional Judeo-Christian God, and who wouldn't with the state of things, but I believe the overwhelming vast majority of atheists are actually agnostics, and believe in something else, something more. Just not knowing what. <br><br>Chris McCandless' last words were: <span style="font-family: sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 19.1875px;">"</span><em style="font-family: sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 19.1875px;">I HAVE HAD A HAPPY LIFE AND THANK THE LORD. GOODBYE AND MAY GOD BLESS ALL!</em><span style="font-family: sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 19.1875px;">"<br><br>I find that so sweet and sincere and beautiful. So desperately beautiful. What does a man go through when he slowly starves to death, and in complete awareness of his imminent death? There's something so comforting and relieving about death. So hopeful and yet hopeless. He handled his death so well. He seemed grateful, so grateful, and okay. Like that terrible movie, American Beauty, where Kevin Spacey says at the end that he was so grateful for every stupid little insignificant moment in his life. But oh, his beautiful wife and daughter. Oh I saw a child today in a cart, and she shouted to her mother, "Faster mommy!" And I thought, "Yeah I'm ready to die. This is a good moment. Nothing could be more beautiful." Lol. My God, more than enough. I've had more than I've deserved. It's just so beautiful those little things. The joy of a child. What could be more? What could be more. <br><br>Anyway, I need a place to stay.</span>