Need encouragement

[rm.w/aview]

I think you guys are right...and it might be in my best interest to start talking about my plans to travel the world. Let them start focusing on enjoying what time we have left with eachother. If they still have a problem with me, great, no hard feelings about leaving then

Thanks for your support everyone. It’s really helping Me

^^^This!!!^^^ Wishing you all the best, Happy Trails!

 

[dragonstar85]

I'm few months shy of being at this for 2 months now. I understand where you are coming from especially with the family (and I spent 10 years being a strict vegetarian while rest of the family are hunters and big time meat eaters so I also understand the diet being criticized. They still insist I've destroyed my life and shortened it by decades. Funny enough rest of them are having major health issues, I'm not. But I'm still going to just magically drop dead in matter of years..... but enough about that rant lol).

With my family there's few that'll either insist I'll die or that I'm a complete failure. Rest tends to be the "we will save you!" Which is kind of them to always wanting to help people but it's what I want and I know they won't understand the car dwelling part and will keep insisting on helping. They fully understand the converting a can or buying a rv and going full time traveling. Just not the willingness of car living to save the money. Than, there's my Mom who wants complete control of everyone to "save them." I don't let her. Yes, it drives her crazy.

You'll be ok. There will be nights you may miss having a home/apartment. I sometimes do. Even days you feel frustrated or even like you have failed. But remember, you haven't. You woke up and kept going and that in itself is not failure. You made a choice and you stuck to it and didn't let anyone convince you otherwise. You followed your dream and your heart. That's winning no matter what.


Funny thing is what kinda helped give me that final push (outside of having a violent roommate) is my Grandma. I love hearing her stories but ones that always brake my heart are the ones of how her own mother controlled her. Even to the point of doing some pretty sneaky things. I loved my great grandma and I know my grandma loved her too but seeing the look of regret in her eyes always killed me. Seeing the dreams she had that she let go of because of family just kills me. And when I told her how I plan on traveling the world and I'm first going to with the Americas with a converted van or RV the look on her face told me to do it. She told me to do it and not to let anyone stop me. And that my Mom (her daughter) can just get over herself. But she still doesn't know I'm living in my car. She would feel horrible about me living in a car. Some how having a converted van or a rv makes it ok for her. I think it's because it's pretty much a home on wheels where I'll have a way to cook, bath, use the bathroom, and a bed unlike a car. lol Seeing her face when I said my plans and her telling me to do it and soon before it's too late just gave me the push. And I knew I would be able to do it sooner if I was willing to live in my car to save $300 a month in rent and gas driving to work (I lived a bit from work prior). I know she knows I won't just vanish and never visit. I already visit her all the time. Even told her I would love to take her anywhere she wants to go and see whenever she wants. All she has to do is pack her bags and tell me.

I found that having a friend that knows and not judging me helps. I know I can have mini rants when needed and he won't lecture on how I made a huge mistake. He understands that no matter what we do in life, even following our dreams, there will be parts we don't like. Sadly one friend I told wasn't understanding like I thought and know views me as a complete failure and tries to do the "look at me, I'm helping this poor helpless person that made bad choices that I foresaw." Needless to say he's not in my life anymore.

 

[dragonstar85]

He's making lots of plans for outfitting a van for me, but i think it's because of "traveling envy."

Well, at least his worrying is him attempting to help you plan out your van instead of trying to steal your van to hide it. lmao!

 

[Ms Daisy]

I have a similar problem. I'm feeling a little guilty because, even though my children are doing their best to be supportive, they are worrying about my taking off on my own. They're not really against it - just kinda worried sick. My son jokingly said, "Mom! It's inconvenient!" I promised him that he would not have to fly 3000 miles to identify my dead bloated body (poor kid!).  He's making lots of plans for outfitting a van for me, but i think it's because of "traveling envy." Ha. I'm not particularly concerned about what anybody else thinks of my decision; i just don't want to be worrying the kids. But, being all cozied up in a boring, going nowhere (safe) apartment is not my idea of living - it feels like a prison. So, i have cut the ties and have to be on the road by this time next week. The scary part of that is, i still have whole rooms that need to be packed up, donated or trashed and I'm running out of time.. And scared. Not afraid of traveling alone; afraid of meeting people, of checking to see whether this unique, amazing group of ppl will actually be as accepting as everyone here in the forums seems. So far, the encouragement everyone offers in general has helped me so much.  Thank you guys! I'll get there, and it won't be on a guilt trip...  

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Hey Linda 

I'll send you a PM later today.  I'm with you in spirit my new friend  I'll be at the RTR site later today and definitely send you those pix of the area as promised and any details of how I got to the area.

 

[GypsySpirit]

. So, i have cut the ties and have to be on the road by this time next week. The scary part of that is, i still have whole rooms that need to be packed up, donated or trashed and I'm running out of time.. 

Hey Linda, if it helps:  I sent a ton of stuff over to my local auction house.  Made the sorting so much easier.  And, I'll be picking up a check for it on Tuesday.    I would have just donated or given it away as I don't have the time or energy to do another yard sale.   Might be worth looking into.

 

[BikeBoomer]

But, being all cozied up in a boring, going nowhere (safe) apartment is not my idea of living - it feels like a prison.
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Exactly my thoughts.  It feels like a prison!

 

[S.IX:Phoebe]

Hello free_to_be_me,

It's alright to be nervous when starting off this lifestyle. I've been living full-time in my car since I was 18 (now 24) and believe me I was beyond nervous in the beginning. As for people pushing to know how you live just be honest. I've always told people I'm a car-dweller but always made a positive note on it, usually saying "I wanted to travel" or "I want to try something new".

There are a lot of us dwellers out there (countless at this point). It will feel rough for the first little bit but as long as you are happy with the lifestyle then it can be one of the most rewarding experiences you have. My time dwelling was to be temporary but became addicted to the freedom of going wherever I wanted to go and being apart of an amazing community. So welcome to the dwellers lifestyle, welcome to cheapRVliving and if you have any questions or to chat PM me.

- Jamie
"Captain of the S.IX Phoebe"

 

[Photogal39Travels]

People that don't support what you do may say your homeless. I say I'm not, I have 4 walls and I don't sleep on the streets. I'm free and I can leave anytime I like, can you?
I feel if you live in any vehicle, tent, trailer ect your not homeless.
June 24th 2017 I took the plunge on full-time living in a truck with camper shell. Loved it. I wished I did this years ago. I was nervous at first and then it got easier as each day passed. A few months ago I added to a mini trailer. Love it even more. You have to make yourself happy, ignore everyone else non supporting and judgements. Its your life. So go for it! :-}

 

[Free_to_be_me]

I know and understand how you feel.  I am starting this new life too.

You are doing the things that are making you happy so sometimes that means telling everyone else back off (in a nice way if possible ).

My children are supportive since I have that, but I am very nervous and scared, but doing it anyway.

I have been living in my rv for the past 3 weeks getting use to it. I have a rabbit name Puff that has been out there with me for a week niw, getting use to this new life too. Sad, but.  I think he is doing better than I am lol.

After Thanksgiving I am hitting road.  

Wishing you luck with this new  we are embarking on.

Awww... I grew up with rabbits. I’ve owned just about every species of pet you can, and I have to say that rabbits were one of the best animal companions I’ve ever had, sometimes even better than a dog.

 

[Free_to_be_me]

How did your situation turn out?  I've wanted to be nomadic for a long time, but I hate the thought of everyone I know feeling bad about my life choices.  I don't want to let them down anymore, but I'm afraid I'm letting myself down trying to meet other peoples expectations rather than my own.

It’s going well. There are two friends that cheer the idea on so I try to remind myself to pay attention to them, and all the support here is wonderful. I’m getting more and More complaints from my family. I told my mom that family is the only thing keeping me on this continent right now and that I would rather travel the world. Told her that the more family drama we get, the easier it is prepare to leave. She confidently said “you won’t leave your family. “ ....oh boy is she in for a big surprise. 

I take a deep breath, and let their comments move past me. It’s not THEIR lifestyle, it’s mine. And I’ve been on depression pills long enough trying to fit into their expectations. Now that I’m doing it my way, I am off medications and healthier than ever. 
Everyone is different, and we need to embrace our true selves....or what’s the point of being you?

 

[Michaelgabriel]

I will be doing this soon and I am terrified but excited. I am not one for change, but I must try. I look at it as "step by step" day by day until I get to be part of the tribe, then I will relax a bit. God Bless you on your journey, my prayers are with you.

 

[Linda Cripple-Creek]

Oddly enough, my one last supporter in my family has now said, "You're Wrong. But you need to do what you're going to do." What a blow in the face - all this time i thought she was really behind me. Disappointing. But, i decided that even without one person who will "cheer me on" i can still do this. I don't need their approval. As long as i have my car keys i can do what i like. I have learned a lesson from this too: no longer going to tell them my plans. What they don't know, they can't block.

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[waverider1987]

It just sucks when those people are your own family.

We all want our families to be supportive.  It sucks also when you're in a relationship with someone who doesn't share the same dream as you and you have to decide if you want to live out your dream or stay in the relationship.  That's where I'm at right now...but....other than this forum, there is no outside support for me.  That's part of the reason I've stayed put for so long, only taking short trips in the van.  I think a big part of the lack of support is the lack of understanding of how we are going to support OURSELVES "out there".  I think more people would choose to live this way if they knew how very possible it actually is.  Even for us young one's who don't have a check coming in every month, there are employers out there who hire seasonal workers.  But, again, I find the lack of support just comes from the lack of understanding and our loved one's want us to just be ok.  So, i don't argue with them, but i try and educate.  I find I have to do this now to prove a point that it IS possible and a sustainable and comfortable lifestyle.  Although I'm actually scared to death and have no clue if I'm going to fail or not.  I've had wild ideas like this and here I am, still living the same way I always have.  But I've taken baby steps and feel more prepared this time than in the past.  Plus being older and wiser, and perhaps a bit more jaded, helps

 

[Free_to_be_me]

Oddly enough, my one last supporter in my family has now said, "You're Wrong. But you need to do what you're going to do." What a blow in the face  - all this time i thought she was really behind me. Disappointing. But, i decided that even without one person who will "cheer me on" i can still do this. I don't need their approval. As long as i have my car keys i can do what i like.  I have learned a lesson from this too: no longer going to tell them my plans. What they don't know, they can't block.

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Indeed! I don’t bring it up with many people. Only a couple of people in my family know because the others will certainly complain. I’m sorry to hear about your friend! One of mine has admitted that she supports me if I truly believe this will help, but she’s actually anticipating that it won’t work out and that’s my ego will stop me from admitting it’s gone wrong. Ha! We’ll show them :sleepy:  My debt is already getting larger chunks out of it. I’ll be travelling in no time!

 

[Honeys Park]

Most regular folks won't get it. I've had people assume that I'm showering in the grocery store bathroom and other wierd stuff, and most the times I don't correct them just because I might as well be explaining to the wall. Do what you want, and the more people I've talked to in my life the more I've found that few people actually have that supportive sweet normal rockwell family the movies told us we'd have.

 

[awakestarseed]

I’m convinced I already made this post but I’m guessing I was just really tired and probably even dreamt that it happened, haha!! 

It’s November 20th today. That means it’s exactly 10 days before the cord is cut and I’m officially a full time car dweller. I’ve been sleeping in the car every night this month, transitioning myself. I have no doubts that this is the right path for me.

However, I can’t help but be nervous. The big change is about to happen. The official start of a new life where I straighten my back/shoulders and face people judging my life choices.  They already judge me for being vegan, and for having the sides of my head shaved, and for being a minimalist. Adding more to the pile. I have to talk to myself often... remind myself that this is the true me... and that people who are rude or judgmental arnt the right ppl in my life anyways, and I’m not right for them.

It just sucks when those people are your own family.

People are starting to ask more and more details about where I’m living and I’m trying my best to make it sound like an average living condition (ex. A nice small space for me and my dog with no irritating roomates!) . That way I can try to direct the convo towards something more exciting like my work or hobbies... but occasionally someone will keep poking at the living situation and I’m trying really hard to know what’s to say. 

Sometimes I dream of dream of just taking off in the world and leaving my family behind.... and that kinda breaks my heart to say. Our family has always been really close and supportive , so having them judge me now is a big shock for me. 

It’s hard to face this alone, so I’m really grateful for you guys. I’m grateful to have people online who not only understand me, but cheer me on. I need a little bit more of that. It’s so hard when you’re trying to do the thing that will make you truly happy and everyone hates you for it cause it’s not what THEY want.

 

[awakestarseed]

The best thing you or anyone can do for themselves is do exactly what they want..DO WHAT YE WILL..HARM NONE. everyone you know..family, friends etc..most likely does what they want already without asking you for youre approval first