Need encouragement

[Free_to_be_me]

I’m convinced I already made this post but I’m guessing I was just really tired and probably even dreamt that it happened, haha!! 

It’s November 20th today. That means it’s exactly 10 days before the cord is cut and I’m officially a full time car dweller. I’ve been sleeping in the car every night this month, transitioning myself. I have no doubts that this is the right path for me.

However, I can’t help but be nervous. The big change is about to happen. The official start of a new life where I straighten my back/shoulders and face people judging my life choices.  They already judge me for being vegan, and for having the sides of my head shaved, and for being a minimalist. Adding more to the pile. I have to talk to myself often... remind myself that this is the true me... and that people who are rude or judgmental arnt the right ppl in my life anyways, and I’m not right for them.

It just sucks when those people are your own family.

People are starting to ask more and more details about where I’m living and I’m trying my best to make it sound like an average living condition (ex. A nice small space for me and my dog with no irritating roomates!) . That way I can try to direct the convo towards something more exciting like my work or hobbies... but occasionally someone will keep poking at the living situation and I’m trying really hard to know what’s to say. 

Sometimes I dream of dream of just taking off in the world and leaving my family behind.... and that kinda breaks my heart to say. Our family has always been really close and supportive , so having them judge me now is a big shock for me. 

It’s hard to face this alone, so I’m really grateful for you guys. I’m grateful to have people online who not only understand me, but cheer me on. I need a little bit more of that. It’s so hard when you’re trying to do the thing that will make you truly happy and everyone hates you for it cause it’s not what THEY want.

 

[user 2252]

.....some people dream and never succeed, some people wish and never come true, but you, my friend, have got this. Go out and LIVE!

 

[BobBski]

I think you’ll love it and do just fine. Wishing you all the best.

 

[CautionToTheWind]

Live outside their "box" and have fun! You sound like someone I'd like to meet. Spread your wings!

 

[Minivanmotoman]

Be straight up about your situation. Those that accept are the ones to keep close. Those that don't, ask them if they rather support and stay close, or have you walk away? Those are the choices. Seek out your light and path forward. Don't waste any of your precious life on others negatives. As I like to say, run like hell. Away from negatives, situations and people. Be prepared to accept the realities of your choices. Ruminating and worry are wasted emotions and energy. Always look and move forward. It's your life.
Talk talk, it's my life, music video

 

[bigsallysmom]

Find one family member who is ok with the idea and speak to them often. It will slowly filter out to the rest.

 

[ClassyGlobal]

Open your mind to being selfish for once. Be the loving, giving, helpful, caring and sharing person I'm sure you are to everyone you can. But when it comes to YOUR health, wealth, comfort, space and sanity BE SELFISH. There's nothing wrong with that as long as you're not imposing harm on anyone else.

Shun taunts of misery, I'm sure you've heard, it loves company. Guilt trips, negative scrutiny, ignorance, fear, pity are all just affront for those unaware of their own conditioning/addiction to systemic reliance.

Think of the MATRIX... Some people really don't realize there are other ways to life and fear anyone that steps away from the accepted norms.

I didn't graduate high school, have no interest in college, Loved my military service, Extremely happily divorced, my last full time job grossed very high 6figures per year, took a near 4 year vacation along with building my mom a home and remodeling my grandmother's all before 35yrs old and I miss my dog . Not the accepted path to structured "Success" - All while peers, colleagues, family members and associates nagging and bugging me about my life decisions. Why why why sounds lot like wahh wah wahhhhh to me most of the time...

I always wonder why are they wasting so much energy on what I am doing when they can be much more productive and effective at working on their own lives and choices.

Don't let their lack of direction or fear dissuade YOU from the possibilities and experiences you have.

 

[Minivanmotoman]

^^^ Very well said Classyglobal. Attitude and focus are everything as well as staying positive.

 

[dawnann7]

Sometimes I dream of dream of just taking off in the world and leaving my family behind.... and that kinda breaks my heart to say.

I'm sure you've thought of this but I'll put it out there anyway. Is there anyone in your family you can tell this to? Anyone you could open your heart to and tell them they'll lose you if they don't learn to accept you as you are? Let them know how your heart is breaking?

You sound like someone who knows what they want and is going to go out and get it. Continue being your authentic self. You will figure it out (hopefully sooner than I did). Wishing you all the best as you head into your adventurous new life! :heart:

 

[mpruet]

I know what you mean.  This past summer I spent a lot of time car camping and was met with the same reactions.  I just didn't care.

My situation is probably a bit different from yours.  I am retired and managed to build up a comfortable retirement nest egg.  I am by no means poor.  I chose to live a while in my car.

I want to spend my retirement years seeing as much of the USA as I can.  Just after I retired, I took my big class-A up to Alaska with my wife.  When we got back home, my wife made it very clear that she didn't want to go on any more trips in the RV.  I saw no sense in taking a large bus for me to take solo boondocking trips, so I started setting up my Prius as a camper.  I used my home and a condo that we have in Colorado as base camps and spent the entire summer traveling through out the south west.  I camped mainly on BLM land and parks.  I camped on the sea shore and forests.  I had a wonderful summer (except for the time that a cop knocked on my door at midnight ...) 

My biggest issue was with relatives who couldn't believe that I could be comfortable and content in something as small as a Prius.  But I was and had a wonderful summer.

This fall I was able to sell the class-A (37 feet long) and used the money to help purchase a smaller class-B (21 feet long).  It's still small and capable of being used for boondocking.  I've already taken it for a week long trip to my home town and to see a bunch of my relatives.  I still get poor reactions from some of my relatives, but they are also the ones that I know are one paycheck from having to learn to cook cat food casserole, so I really don't care what their reactions are. 

I'm enjoying my retirement years and am making the most of every day.  And that's all that really counts.

 

[sreesekelley]

Mind over Matter:

Those that mind don't matter

Those that matter don't mind.

another $.02 from the peanut in the gallery

 

[Mercy200]

I’m convinced I already made this post but I’m guessing I was just really tired and probably even dreamt that it happened, haha!! 

It’s November 20th today. That means it’s exactly 10 days before the cord is cut and I’m officially a full time car dweller. I’ve been sleeping in the car every night this month, transitioning myself. I have no doubts that this is the right path for me.

However, I can’t help but be nervous. The big change is about to happen. The official start of a new life where I straighten my back/shoulders and face people judging my life choices.  They already judge me for being vegan, and for having the sides of my head shaved, and for being a minimalist. Adding more to the pile. I have to talk to myself often... remind myself that this is the true me... and that people who are rude or judgmental arnt the right ppl in my life anyways, and I’m not right for them.

It just sucks when those people are your own family.

People are starting to ask more and more details about where I’m living and I’m trying my best to make it sound like an average living condition (ex. A nice small space for me and my dog with no irritating roomates!) . That way I can try to direct the convo towards something more exciting like my work or hobbies... but occasionally someone will keep poking at the living situation and I’m trying really hard to know what’s to say. 

Sometimes I dream of dream of just taking off in the world and leaving my family behind.... and that kinda breaks my heart to say. Our family has always been really close and supportive , so having them judge me now is a big shock for me. 

It’s hard to face this alone, so I’m really grateful for you guys. I’m grateful to have people online who not only understand me, but cheer me on. I need a little bit more of that. It’s so hard when you’re trying to do the thing that will make you truly happy and everyone hates you for it cause it’s not what THEY want.

I know and understand how you feel.  I am starting this new life too.

You are doing the things that are making you happy so sometimes that means telling everyone else back off (in a nice way if possible ).

My children are supportive since I have that, but I am very nervous and scared, but doing it anyway.

I have been living in my rv for the past 3 weeks getting use to it. I have a rabbit name Puff that has been out there with me for a week niw, getting use to this new life too. Sad, but.  I think he is doing better than I am lol.

After Thanksgiving I am hitting road.  

Wishing you luck with this new  we are embarking on.

 

[KoreyC]

Be the master of your own ship and do what is right for YOU. When you are living in a way that makes you happy, then it doesnt really matter what anyone else thinks or says because you are content (I know its so much easier said than done).  I feel like once you’re content and happy that itll make you more powerful as a friend and family member, because no matter if you live in a cardboard box or a multimillion dollar mansion, when you are truly happy people will notice and seek out your advice and opinion. Expect people to not understand because it is unusual compared to the way that most in society live and think, but that is what makes people like you so special because you have such courage and will most likely end up being so much happier by breaking the chains of the masses and doing your own thing. So put on your armor and be fierce with sticking to what brings you peace. Dont tremble when facing judgment because judgements are just an illiusion, they arent really anything except an opinion that will eventually fade and be forgotten. Stay strong and pursue your own unique happiness and everything will be just fine I bet!

 

[RamblinRogue]

Two points -- 1) you are so far ahead of the game by knowing who you are and what makes you happy. And, 2) Family will always, always be the first ones to try to drag you back, knock you down, distract, derail and discourage you. I think it's that thing where they "know" they know you better than you know yourself -- but what I KNOW is that you can't listen to the noise outside you. Listen to the music inside.

 

[Free_to_be_me]

I think you guys are right...and it might be in my best interest to start talking about my plans to travel the world. Let them start focusing on enjoying what time we have left with eachother. If they still have a problem with me, great, no hard feelings about leaving then

Thanks for your support everyone. It’s really helping Me

 

[WanderLoveJosh]

Don't put too much focus on family... I see this wayyyyyyy too much. People will base life decisions on what their family thinks. Its very damaging, Some families are great, but some aren't. Every person is different, and have different ideas about life, love, eating, dressing, what have you. As someone who has always been the black sheep because I didn't live with the focus of being trendy and popular, I can tell you to seek out friends, or even random strangers, like you are doing in this post. Especially a best friend, they most likely know you way better than family, and will help and encourage you.

and don't let anyone tell you you're doing something stupid, if you are doing something that you're passionate about then thats all that matters in life. NO ONE is promised tomorrow, and we should all be grateful for waking up.

 

[BikeBoomer]

It’s hard to face this alone, so I’m really grateful for you guys. I’m grateful to have people online who not only understand me, but cheer me on. I need a little bit more of that. It’s so hard when you’re trying to do the thing that will make you truly happy and everyone hates you for it cause it’s not what THEY want.

I think you are at the right place and will find the support you seek here.

 

[waverider1987]

I’m convinced I already made this post but I’m guessing I was just really tired and probably even dreamt that it happened, haha!! 

It’s November 20th today. That means it’s exactly 10 days before the cord is cut and I’m officially a full time car dweller. I’ve been sleeping in the car every night this month, transitioning myself. I have no doubts that this is the right path for me.

However, I can’t help but be nervous. The big change is about to happen. The official start of a new life where I straighten my back/shoulders and face people judging my life choices.  They already judge me for being vegan, and for having the sides of my head shaved, and for being a minimalist. Adding more to the pile. I have to talk to myself often... remind myself that this is the true me... and that people who are rude or judgmental arnt the right ppl in my life anyways, and I’m not right for them.

It just sucks when those people are your own family.

People are starting to ask more and more details about where I’m living and I’m trying my best to make it sound like an average living condition (ex. A nice small space for me and my dog with no irritating roomates!) . That way I can try to direct the convo towards something more exciting like my work or hobbies... but occasionally someone will keep poking at the living situation and I’m trying really hard to know what’s to say. 

Sometimes I dream of dream of just taking off in the world and leaving my family behind.... and that kinda breaks my heart to say. Our family has always been really close and supportive , so having them judge me now is a big shock for me. 

It’s hard to face this alone, so I’m really grateful for you guys. I’m grateful to have people online who not only understand me, but cheer me on. I need a little bit more of that. It’s so hard when you’re trying to do the thing that will make you truly happy and everyone hates you for it cause it’s not what THEY want.

How did your situation turn out?  I've wanted to be nomadic for a long time, but I hate the thought of everyone I know feeling bad about my life choices.  I don't want to let them down anymore, but I'm afraid I'm letting myself down trying to meet other peoples expectations rather than my own.

 

[Linda Cripple-Creek]

I have a similar problem. I'm feeling a little guilty because, even though my children are doing their best to be supportive, they are worrying about my taking off on my own. They're not really against it - just kinda worried sick. My son jokingly said, "Mom! It's inconvenient!" I promised him that he would not have to fly 3000 miles to identify my dead bloated body (poor kid!). He's making lots of plans for outfitting a van for me, but i think it's because of "traveling envy." Ha. I'm not particularly concerned about what anybody else thinks of my decision; i just don't want to be worrying the kids. But, being all cozied up in a boring, going nowhere (safe) apartment is not my idea of living - it feels like a prison. So, i have cut the ties and have to be on the road by this time next week. The scary part of that is, i still have whole rooms that need to be packed up, donated or trashed and I'm running out of time.. And scared. Not afraid of traveling alone; afraid of meeting people, of checking to see whether this unique, amazing group of ppl will actually be as accepting as everyone here in the forums seems. So far, the encouragement everyone offers in general has helped me so much. Thank you guys! I'll get there, and it won't be on a guilt trip...

Sent from my LG-M327 using Tapatalk

 

[rm.w/aview]

 I have no doubts that this is the right path for me.
However, I can’t help but be nervous. The big change is about to happen. The official start of a new life where I straighten my back/shoulders and face people judging my life choices.  They already judge me for being vegan, and for having the sides of my head shaved, and for being a minimalist. 
It just sucks when those people are your own family.

Far too much weight given to what the family thinks about you being a nomad. You might be used to being judged by now, based on the above statement, or you may regret not eating hamburger and you may hate your hairstyle (yeah, I didn't think so). Mom got pregnant & boom, you have another brother/sister... you weren't consulted. You can choose your friends but you're stuck with your family. Still, far too much weight given to what they think. They're just people that you may or may not want in your life based on how they treat you. Being related is irrelevant. I've read, "If you're not for me then you're against me", and there may be a third group that is just indifferent. We choose to have close to us people that are in one of these categories, and then we are happy or we are not.
On the other hand, being judgmental is nothing more than having an opinion and probably sharing it with people. No harm/no foul unless someone takes the stand saying, "I'm right and you're wrong!", to which you reply, "Prove it." This generally disarms the attack or you could be "talking to the wall".