Happy to be a Solo :-)

[ShesJustJodi]

This weekend I had a friend come to visit from Ohio. She was coming down to Bradenton to be with her partner who was already at his family's place, and she let me pick her up from the plane and steal her for some friend time. We stayed in a hotel in Clearwater for two nights before I dropped her in Bradenton and came back to my life.

It was wonderful to see a dear friend, but it was a clear reminder of how happy I am living my alternative solo life. I'm a simple girl with non-traditional ideas when it comes to things like retirement funds and credit scores. Basically, I could care less about those things. I love being by myself and doing things my way. I am fine with living differently than the average 42 yr old with almost all adult children, and I don't usually give it much thought. Spending 48 hours with someone living the traditional American life, though, shined a spotlight on how different I am. And, after some consideration, I think I am much happier than most.

I did miss my Annie very much, and I missed MY coffee. Lol But I am left with complete peace about my solo life. I want to make real friendships with other solo travelers, but I definitely don't need a partner. Hearing someone speak all weekend about how every decision she makes had a reference to her partner and how their lives were intertwined reminded me that I just prefer not to live that way. Been there, done that, I guess you could say.

It means more to me to have friends that truly love me for who I am, and understand that I have to be true to myself above all. I want to surround myself with others who live true to themselves as well.

Thank you all for providing a kind, friendly place where it is ok to be who you are without judgment. Where we have open minds and can agree to disagree, because everyone has to make their own choices. I am so blessed to be here.

 

[mockturtle]

Hope your last name isn't Arias, LOL!&nbsp; <img src="/images/boards/smilies/biggrin.gif" class="emoticon bbc_img"><br><br>I know whereof you speak.&nbsp; In planning a trip to Alaska in 2014 I am faced with a dilemma:&nbsp; Wanting to go by myself but also maybe touch base with other travelers and occasionally meet up at camp to compare notes, etc.&nbsp; My sister wants to go with me <img src="/images/boards/smilies/eek.gif" class="emoticon bbc_img">.&nbsp; I told her that would be fine if she brings her own camper. <img src="/images/boards/smilies/wink.gif" class="emoticon bbc_img">

 

[dragonflyinthesky]

<STRONG>Amen to both of you. You don't know what you've got till it's gone.</STRONG><BR><STRONG><SPAN style="COLOR: #ff00ff">Dragonfly</SPAN></STRONG>

 

[offroad]

solo folks unite!!&nbsp; what an oxymoron that statement is.&nbsp; people do like their private alone times, but also like having others around for the ride and companionship on a temporary basis.&nbsp; as long as they do not push into the DEPRESSED or into the CRAZY zone.<br><br>Am surprised every day by those who handle being solo with such grace and skill and calmness. Please continue sharing your tips on how you do not develop cabin fever type isolation behaviors.&nbsp; maybe cabin fever is just hype from a social world that has to stigmatize others living a different existence.<br>&nbsp;

 

[wagoneer]

We are tribal people just look back, strength in numbers. The big threats to life are no longer a great threat no giant animals roaming around to eat you, not many cave dwellings.Too many no burn areas. too many people with their hands out. Too many helpless, clueless, defenseless . greedy manipulative OK I give up. All this said We are a tribal people it's in our DNA.... Love ye<br><br>

 

[peacetara]

mockturle: LOL on bringing her own camper! <img src="/images/boards/smilies/smile.gif" border="0" align="absmiddle"><br><br>ShesJustJodi: I agree completely <img src="/images/boards/smilies/smile.gif" border="0" align="absmiddle"><br><br>With Love,<br>Tara

 

[Stargazer]

I'm not sure what "cabin fever type isolation behaviors" means? And "in our DNA"?

Respectfully, and perhaps I misunderstand (easily done in this format), these comments show that those of us who choose and prefer solo are seen as different in a strange sort of way, kind of like vandwellers. Those who enjoy the tribal atmosphere/connection see us as too shy at best, loners (with a not so good connotation), or antisocial with "depressed" or "crazy" traits.

I will admit that I just can't understand how and why people like the whole group thing. I guess they're weak, dependent, helpless and can't get along without the others? I say this tongue in cheek because that's how it feels to hear how strange we are as solos.

ROFL! To each his own. And to each the respect they deserve in choosing whatever works for them.

 

[mockturtle]

This is a pretty good book that some of you might like:&nbsp; <em>Party of One: A Loner's Manifesto</em> <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Party-One-Manifesto-Anneli-Rufus/dp/1569245134" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">http://www.amazon.com/Party-One-Manifesto-Anneli-Rufus/dp/1569245134</a>&nbsp; .

 

[ice_maiden]

Solo for me too.... for the most part I am happy "puttering" around my travel trailer or out doing my own thing... I have a friend that will come visit from time to time.&nbsp; I am always glad to see her.&nbsp; But I am always glad when she is leaves. When she is gone I do the mental "whew" of relief.&nbsp; I have gone the partner route and found I was always trying to find my own space.<br><br>I have another friend who says "you are the most comfortable person, in your own skin, I know"&nbsp; I think that my be a deciding factor with a lot of folks... some are happy with who, what,&nbsp; and where they are.&nbsp;&nbsp; Some will never be happy with those things, and are constantly trying to change the things around them, when the whole time it is themselves they are not happy with.<br><br>

 

[Kimbopolo]

mockturtle,<br><br>Ditto on the book recommendation.&nbsp; It was a revelation and comfort to realize&nbsp;what a bad rap&nbsp;"loners" get in our society.&nbsp; And that I am not alone (ironic, huh?).<br><br>I know people who cannot stand to be without the company of others.&nbsp; I feel sorry for them.&nbsp; <br><br>Kim<br><br>

This is a pretty good book that some of you might like:&nbsp; <em>Party of One: A Loner's Manifesto</em> <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Party-One-Manifesto-Anneli-Rufus/dp/1569245134" target="_blank" rel="nofollow">http://www.amazon.com/Party-One-Manifesto-Anneli-Rufus/dp/1569245134</a>&nbsp; .

 

[cleanheart]

Jodi, glad you found out that solo is just how it is with some of us. <br>I have been solo for many years now and it's just fine with me. Call me antisocial or whatever I don't care. I have my best friend snuggled up next to me and he's been more loyal than any friend I ever had. Even my best friend has turned on me with this van living life style. I had hoped for support from her but didn't work out that way. I'm an introvert until I get to know you then I seem to come out of my shell. I am not shy just a loner. I get fed from within not without.

 

[CrossCountryGal]

Based on the viewpoints in this thread - I'm as mixed up as I suspected I was &nbsp;I enjoy time with company, time alone, time in small groups, and time in large crowds (concerts, etc.)<br><br>Being able to cater to those swings in desire for company, and those without, are what keeps me semi-sane&nbsp;<img src="/images/boards/smilies/rofl.gif" class="emoticon bbc_img">

 

[wagoneer]

yes the balance that magic number of just right alone and with. I am alone with many around, it's OK with me not really being a joiner, tough enough for me to join this group

 

[cleanheart]

Sounds like a good balance for you crosscountrygal!

 

[Seraphim]

It's interesting; being an extreme introvert, yet having one person whom I want to be with constantly. Were it not for her, I would not miss the company of people at all.

The two of us are 'solo'. And I would not have it differently.

We are each different, but there is no wrongness in that. The only wrongness would be in trying to a life which was not right, for ourselves.

 

[ShesJustJodi]

Thanks to all for joining the conversation!

As for me, i have always been an outgoing extrovert. I am definitely a social butterfly. However, the older I get, the more I am just fine living the solo life. Of course, I haven't hit the road yet. But I like going home alone to just "be" after being in social groups. I think it might have to do with finding my balance.

 

[owl]

&nbsp;&nbsp; Stargazer, well said ! I have also noticed that a lot of us are loner types. (and I mean that in the best possible way) That being said it doesn't mean we don't often interact with others. One of the most difficult things in my life has been to control my tendency to judge others. I work on it every day. Looking at folks I come in contact with makes me realize that almost everyone has the same problem. I think people want everyone to be just like them, with the same fears and beliefs. It's a validation that who and what they are is OK I suppose. People&nbsp;tend to put down anyone doing anything&nbsp;differently, I think that is a learned behavior and can be self&nbsp;corrected. I have been really fortunate that I never craved approval from anyone and that has allowed me to lead a very different and exciting&nbsp;life from most folks. What's that saying? Be true to ones self. Always worked for me.

 

[cleanheart]

Very insightful owl! I like what you said and how you think. I fell into that trap for a while and find myself so happy to be as far from that type of person as I am. I used to be very social but have always gotten fed from within.&nbsp;<br>I learned not to judge others or seek their approval, especially my family. They are the ones closest to me and i have always tried to "live up" to their expectations of me. They all have these big wonderful careers and degrees and well, I just don't fit their mold. I have a couple degrees but find them almost useless.&nbsp;<br>Life is good......as long as I am true to me!

 

[owl]

&nbsp;&nbsp;Aww, your making me blush ch.&nbsp;&nbsp;Another thing I've noticed about myself. I do real well at everything in short spurts (that's a technical word). Then I take a break. I do that with jobs, towns, people. Even when working on world peace<IMG class="emoticon bbc_img" src="/images/boards/smilies/thumb.gif">

 

[WanderingRain]

I too am a loner. Which suited me fine during those times I had nobody romantic.<br>Wherever I go, I always set up a private zone for myself. That is kind of a must.<br>someplace I can retreat to when things get too hectic.<br>So here at my folks', I have my own little room and studio. I don't mind living with them. Both are old and retired. I believe that's part of our responsibility as children they raised. They took care of me for 2 decades... I'm barely making a dent into my time debt to them. <img src="/images/boards/smilies/smile.gif" border="0" align="absmiddle"><br><br>Anyway, I fully understand the lone wolf ways.<br>I am often alone, but not lonely. There's a difference. <img src="/images/boards/smilies/smile.gif" border="0" align="absmiddle"> And oftentimes, it's just a state of mind.