Considering the lifestyle

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Nowak1981

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Hello everyone, I've been a lurker for a week or so now and been looking around for about a month.  I'm at a point in my life where I just can't take the rat race any longer.  I'm bi-polar, have major depressive order and idiopathic hypersomnia.  I've been at my current job in private aviation for over ten years.  I have pretty good health insurance that has allowed me to get quite a bit of help dealing with all this.  I also am 30% disabled from my time in the military, I collect about 410$ from that.  And I am capable of using the VA centers if needed, however terrible they are.  

I'm considered selling everything I own to pursue this venture.  It seems as though the only times I'm really happy is when I go on long backpacking trips, but even that is becoming a challenge due to not being able to get unpaid time off from work.  When I'm on these trips I spend all my time with a tent, hotels take away from the enjoyment I get from being out in nature.  If things really hit the fan on my mental health it's entirely possible that my disability rating may go up.  

My issues are with the responsibilities I have.  My 74 year old mother lives with me.  She works full time and enjoys her job but if I leave she would not be able to live on our own.  My brother who lives in Boston has offered several times to take her in, but I know my mom would hate living there because of traffic and my brother leads a completely different lifestyle.  I also have two indoor cats that I love and I don't want to see them end up in another home.

I currently own the house, I have about 95k left on the mortgage but I am unsure as to what it would sell for if I had to sell it.  There are a lot of unfinished renovations that need to be addressed.  At a minimum of around 10k.  I have a 401k of about 15k not including about 6k in a loan I took to make repairs.  And 1k in a fund through Edward jones.  

I'd like to be able to build up a decent e-250 extended as I doubt I could afford anything newer then that.  The mileage bugs me the most as I would like to travel a lot north and south through the sierras and beyond.  But I can't really do much about that.  Between buying and building anything more then an older van would be unrealistic.

I'm would be boondocking most of the time, I have no interest in spending anymore time in the city then I have too.  I think a camp host position would be very enjoyable and I had also considered doing some kind of backpacking instruction.  I love the southwest, I've been to Zion three time in the last two years and in a few weeks I'm headed to Yosemite to check out the John Muir Trail.  

I'm lost at this point I feel trapped by my responsibilities and guilt for leaving, but my health isn't getting any better.  I have no meaning at this point.  And I don't know what to do.   Everything seems so impossible all because society expects you to make money and it seems it's getting harder and harder to obtain it.

I'm sorry for the personal rant, but I needed to get it out.  I have tried taking to my brother.  I have tried talking to a therapist.  But it always comes up the same and I need to make a change.  
 
Hi Nowak1981 and welcome. No need to apologize for the hardly a rant. It just sounds like normal human stuff to me. I hope you get some relief from the worries soon.

As to societies expectations from me, that's not really a concern of mine. What is disappointing to me is societies failure in my expectations from them. Also, the total hypocrisy of it all. Best of luck to you and you are not alone in your worries and the guilt that comes with some of your concerns. Take care of yourself.
 
Welcome Nowak to the CRVL forums! To help you learn the ins and outs of these forums, this "Tips & Tricks" post lists some helpful information to get you started. We look forward to hearing more from you. highdesertranger
 
Welcome! Not a rant, sounds like you are overwhelmed. I get it, was feeling completely pointless my self until I made this decision. My goal is to be on the road 1/1/18. Not feeling so meaningless anymore. Good luck to you!
 
Have you asked your Mom if she would like to go also? You could pull a cargo trailer for her living space. Of course after you made it comfy like mine. Just saying...
 
Ironically mom mom traveled all over the world when she was younger but not anymore. She hates driving and being on the road. My mom needs to work, it's how she stays as healthy as she is. She's been a smoker since 14 and I'm surprised she hasn't had any issues with it at all. If she didn't work she would probably end up like my dad who retired early and then just sat around til he died. She wants her computer tv and internet.
 
Nowak

Welcome to the forum.

The first thing I will say is to make sure you are considering the lifestyle because you love the thought of doing it and not just a easy escape from the world you feel trapped in. The second is that taking it from the considering to the decided can take a huge weight off of you. No matter what it doesn't happen overnight but just the fact that you have a new path to work towards makes getting ready as well as the mundane day to day things easier. You will have new things to fill your mind as you research, plan, design and collect what you will need while at the same time be doing what is needed to get out of the house. Just the fact that you have decided to move forward will make you feel much better.
 
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