Right then ! For those fond of British Comedy.
The story begins with our three intrepid Mates charging into the canal too rapidly thus collapsing
the front skirt of the the Ford Hover Van and the ensuing splash cracks the windshield in an instant.
Dead in the water upon entry Avon Rescue is hailed on the Radio and the Hover Van is taken in for
repairs. But first the Mates breath from their Oxygen bottles for some libation as they wait.
The black pneumatic tubes are for emergency buoyancy and are perhaps the best reasoned element
in the whole film. The orange portion of the Hover Van is the skirt that traps the air under it to create
the air cushion.
With repairs undergone, the crew makes a second attempt at their Trek. It will prove to be a
comedy of errors somewhere between the comedy of "Monty Python" and "The Last of the Summer
Wine".
At last, cruising down the canal in the only semi lame Hover Van the crew begins to experience the
environment inside, the noise produced by the vehicle as it interacts with the acoustics of the water
surface and the banks at waters edge is enormous. The joys of tech and the challenges of communication
will soon be realized.
The comedy of errors will soon begin for our Hover-naughts. A set of Locks lies just ahead
unattended by the Lock-keeper. Now our crew will need to learn to operate the locks for themselves.
Good fortune as the Locks are full of water for their approach. All that remains is to open and enter. But
the challenge will come with draining the Locks to allow the Hover Van to move on out into the canal.
What to do ? How do they work ? Much finger pointing, yelling and screaming. Ciaos sets in and the Captain
leaves the Ship to evaluate the situation. He concludes his Dog could undertake the job more successfully.
At this point the Mates find a Sign Board with instructions. However, they are as perplexed by the English
Language just as much as the Yanks. Interesting that !
In order to restore the Captain to his Ship, the Captain and a Mate attempt the "Pincer Maneuver"
to stabilize the platform currently "on cushion". That is, high pressure air is being blown under the
craft for it's buoyancy. But this creates a lot of over spray at best. When one side of the platform
is pressed down the spray becomes like a water canon and hoses the Mate till he's drenched to the
bone.
Once away from the Locks, the challenge of Dead Reckoning navigation present itself all too soon.
It is supplemented by the roar of the Hover Van and that seems to overpower the headsets capacity
for communication. Errors are made and will have an accumulative affect on the journey. Yet, that
won't be discovered until later.
OMG, is that a Weir ahead ??
In an attempt to change directions it's discovered that the current is too much for the Hover Van.
The Captain reasons he must immediately turn the craft around once again to try and cross the
Weir helm first.
Miraculously, the Hover Van floats across the Weir on both air cushion and water. The crew are ecstatic
and in their euphoria decides to attempt to cross back over the Weir again a second time to travel back
upstream.