Been Living in my Van Almost a Week... my thoughts.

[One Awesome Inch]

That's a good question.

I think it would be the same if I were travelling the country. As I mentioned its the sneaking around part that is the worst and I think that would apply anywhere, unless I rent a driveway or RV park. Fundametally us vandwellers are viewed by the public as homeless and perhaps just a step or two above sleeping on the street or pushing around a grocery cart. Not everyone is that judgemental, but alot of people are and being found out by them and them calling the police/security is what I am trying to avoid. I've already had two encounters that I described in another thread where I had to deal with security at an Ikea and the police on a public street. One insight I have had is to keep off private, security patrolled places as much as possible.

I dont really care if friends/family know, but my employer can never find out. My position is to where I have a high level of trust/responsibility put upon me and I cannot risk them finding out. I have somewhat solved that issue by deciding to just park a 15 minute walk away so they never see my van. If I get comments I will just say I'm walking for the exercise, which is true... in part.

 

[Duck]

There's lots of community centers with cheap membership. For shower only access I remember one as low as 5$/year.

Parking in industrial areas in your city is not hard, if you were closer to Vancouver itself, I know of a few good areas, and one place that you won't be bothered for 200$/mo

 

[masterplumber]

As others have mentioned, I think you would have a lot of the feelings you're experiencing even if you had say, moved into a small apartment. A friend of mine who went through a very amicable divorce, if there is such a thing, said it still hurt as much as cutting a piece of his body off, which is a somewhat accurate description. Take all of the previous suggestions, especially about getting out and doing things, and give it some time. We're all different in our needs and wants, but for me I'm actually more comfortable spending time in my cargo trailer than in the house. If it wasn't for family and my shop I'd hit the road in a heart beat.

I do think sneaking around in the city and feeling like people are judging you as a "homeless" person can get to you. If possible maybe you can get out into the countryside close by on some weekends. Being out in nature can do wonders for a soul and you can be "camping" rather than sneaking around trying to hide the fact that you live in your van. Best wishes.

 

[Canine]

Vancouver is a big urban area but surely it has citys parks or what are they called, provincial parks, nearby. Maybe also those private gyms or some other public facility.
Is there a place you can volunteer at, that would allow you to spend some time out of the van while being "quasi" normal looking? I don't mean to imply that we vandwellers aren't "normal", yet in a way, we aren't. Society views us as strange or dangerous. So try to "fit in" as you can.

Ok, your top two priorities are being at your ex's house 3x a week and not allowing your employer to know you are living in your van. Can you stay 15 minutes away on the other side of the ex so you are actually closer to 25 minutes away from work? Then nobody would likely ever see you. Just depends on how the city is laid out I suppose.

Public libraries, as mentioned, could be searched out. Malls, where you can just walk or sit and watch people. Is there public transportation that you could ride to work, so you aren't even appearing like a vandweller? Just ideas...

Eventually something is going to "break", either your arrangement with your ex or your employment. Be getting ready for it. It happens.

 

[Oberneldon]

One Awesome Inch,

I would guess many of us have reinvented ourselves through our lives. There is risk with change and with this there is naturally anxiety of some level about the change. I retired 18 months ago and I worried for years about what I would do and since my last job was very public I was greatly concerned about being seen as living the past after I retired. Since I was always "in the know" around town I didn't want to relive my life through past stories to feel self worth. I decided before I submitted my papers for retirement I would reinvent myself deliberately.

I made a mental list of all the things that brought me personal satisfaction and then another mental list of what I missed in life, being a workaholic, and putting myself second to most everything my whole life.

My decision was that I would travel every winter (3.5 months) to get away from New England as I love yo drive and loved to travel. I also decided to continue with teaching by doing it online, as a part time job so I would have a feeling of continued self worth and teach while I traveled.

I also decided I would read for enjoyment and take time to meet new and interesting people and listen intently to them. In doing this I would fulfill what I felt I neglected in my life.

My first winter I I bought a Class B and drove 13,500 miles. The next winter I did a Prius conversion and drove 19,500 miles. I met all kinds of people and in doing so learned more about myself. Traveling alone gave me time alone to think and listen to all kinds of podcasts.

My first year I thought I would get homesick but didn't my sticks and brick was there but I was content to stay traveling until it was time for the first lawn mowing. It's amazing how well we can adapt, but I think it requires soul searching and learning more about ourselves. On the road I would go to all kinds of public events to get out in public and out of my vehicle. I chose to write a blog and I think this also helped in my transition. My first year on the road friends and relatives accepted it as since I was in a Class B they could see it as camping.

When I started living in the Prius I had one year of travel behind me and I stealthed in many places. Now friends and family were skeptical at best with me living in the Prius. Some had a hard time accepting it, but most came around over time. For me I got used to "slinking around". I had the Prius set up that I could get from the front seat to the back by laying the drivers seatback down and sliding back and then putting the seatback in place and closed the curtains behind the legal tinting. I also had it se up to just enter the rear drivers side passenger door and step in for the night. The key is to have it all set up before you are ready for the night.

I felt very self conscious about taking my Prius to the dealer for service and explaining that my car is my house and they couldn't access some things as I had modified them. I could only think that when they opened the car and saw my bed that the tech may be calling others over to check this out. I got over feeling this way as I kept an organized vehicle and was always clean and presentable. Respect I find comes from how you hold / present yourself to others.

I stopped at a county camping park in CA for one night and the patrol car came by and asked if I had a tent. I said yes I do but since I modified my Prius to live in and out of that I choose to sleep in the Prius. I did carry a one man tent if it became an issue. I asked him if he would like to see the setup but he said no and left me alone.

It's funny how living in a car creates such feelings when you can hike the Appalachian Trail living out of a back pack or bike across the country and get embraced but upgrade to a vehicle and it changes the attitudes. I take every opportunity to educate people about van dwelling that are skeptical of what I do. My unofficial poll is that it is about 50/50 where you can see that they don't approve and others are intrigued.

We all go through self evaluation and this is normal. I will not know what it exactly feels like to be in your shoes but I would like to know and appreciate how you deal with your new lifestyle.

Good fortune,

Brent

 

[Marie]

Brent, that was a wonderful post! The information was great, but even better was the way you presented it, and the story you told. I was mesmerized! Thank you.

 

[WriterMs]

My first year I thought I would get homesick but didn't my sticks and brick was there but I was content to stay traveling until it was time for the first lawn mowing.  It's amazing how well we can adapt, but I think it requires soul searching and learning more about ourselves.  On the road I would go to all kinds of public events to get out in public and out of my vehicle.  I chose to write a blog and I think this also helped in my transition.  My first year on the road friends and relatives accepted it as since I was in a Class B they could see it as camping.

Brent

Brent, you mention a blog. Was it private since you do not show one in your signature info? You really seem to have a measured and very philosophical approach that has worked well for you.

 

[Oberneldon]

My blog is macaloney.blogspot.com - my blog posts are not always this reflective, but OAI's post was very forthcoming & I am hoping that in sharing feelings and experiences so we can better understand firsthand.

 

[Canine]

"It's funny how living in a car creates such feelings when you can hike the Appalachian Trail living out of a back pack or bike across the country and get embraced but upgrade to a vehicle and it changes the attitudes. I take every opportunity to educate people about van dwelling that are skeptical of what I do. My unofficial poll is that it is about 50/50 where you can see that they don't approve and others are intrigued. "

Great post... Especially the quote above. (You can hike the A trail living out of a pack or bike across the country and that's cool). If you live in your van you're perverted or something. Crazy.

 

[One Awesome Inch]

Week 2

Well, I am now into week 2 and things are better. I think alot of it is psychology and coming to terms with living in a vehicle in the city. If you prefer the pampered life living in a van is not for you. The luxuries of hot water, a fridge, a shower and a flushable toilet have to be foregone... unless you have deep pockets for a Class B (that is in good condition). Yes you can use alternative solutions to get those things, but simple things like turning on a tap to have hot water are more complicated. Once my single stove burner is hooked up ( I need to buy a long propane hose to reach the spot where my 20LB tank will be) I will be able to use that to boil water. For now, I am using a thermos and getting hot water from various places and storing it that way. Its not a huge deal, but it is an example of how something as simple as hot water gets more complicated acquiring living in a van. All these inconvenciences add up to a loss of time to make sure you have them. Now if you are in a position that you can afford to work less because you dont have to pay rent, its a good trade-off to many people. In my situation the money I would have saved not being spent on rent/mortgage is going to child support payments so I dont benefit financially as many others do. If I had $800 extra a month that would make things *alot* more tolerable. That said, the positive side of things is that I dont have to live with roommates or get a second job on top of the one I already have. Makes me thankful that vandwelling is an option for me. Lots of men get divorced and have to make child support payments (again I have no problem with doing my part to support my children) and I wonder how they do it if their income is modest like mine and vandwelling isnt a solution for them. $800 per month is not exactly pocket change.

 

[One Awesome Inch]

A friend of mine summed up my situation succinctly. I lost my wife and best friend, I lost the experience of living with my kids, I lost my condo and home for over ten years, I smashed my finger in the van door and split my finger wide open... still numb a week later, and my rock band just broke up. It can only go up from here!

 

[Canine]

Damn Inch,You've got the makings of a great country/western song there.

 

[Rugster]

Well, I can definitely feel for you and hope it gets better. I am pretty close to the same situation as you, but I wasn't in a rock band. But, I do have the camper van as a plan B.

 

[Luisafernandes]

Stay upbeat and don't get discouraged. Van life isn't easy at times, but will get better.
When coming to the realization that you have no other choice, as I did before moving into mine, you'll adapt, knowing that your van is now your home.
Eventually you'll learn where to and not to park. How long to stay at one place. The best way to keep clean. How to store things in the van.
Be of good courage, let not fear of the unknown paralyze you. Be mindful that you're not alone, and thousands go through the same situations every day.
[emoji106][emoji1][emoji604]

 

[One Awesome Inch]

Thanks Luis. I appreciate your kind words. I know you and I are in very similar situation so I am sure you can relate.

 

[Luisafernandes]

Thanks Luis. I appreciate your kind words. I know you and I are in very similar situation so I am sure you can relate.

Yep, very similar. Stay upbeat and give it time. [emoji106][emoji106][emoji1]

 

[pros80]

If you are a homebody then the general answer is that van dwelling is not for you. Since I ventured into the lifestyle, I've been forced to live and thrive outside of a home. Doing errands and other things in public places, using Starbucks internet, and bathing after a workout in the gym. 

Doing it in a suburb/small city has allowed me to make new connections and friends I wouldn't have otherwise. Regulars I run into everyday at places.

The van has been a place to cook a quick meal or crash in bed after a long day of being out and experiencing the world or even day at work.

 

[4GNomad]

Hang in there bud! Things will definitely improve and you will look back at it as a learning experience.