Women Only: Just An Observation

I am not entirely new to traveling alone and bondocking but I had an experience over the weekend which shook me up a bit and I feel conflicted- I was camping alone and all was peaceful until I woke to find a van parked next to me. The man with the van was over-friendly and also eventually asked for money. I admit I was frightened so I gave him what little cash I had. This experience has caused me to fear a bit where I never had before. Just an observation...

If I was getting a bad vibe, I'd have driven away before I talked with or given him a chance to ask for money.

Listen to your gut.

Glad you're OK! Sorry you had such a scare.

Ironclad rule for any woman alone: strange man comes up, woman leaves. Don't wait for him to strike up a conversation. Just turn that key in the ignition and vanish.

On a lighter note: I was sleeping in a mummy bag under a bush (this was in NM in 1970, I was 17) and woke to see this dude standing there with an enema bag! He wanted to give me an enema....forcibly....I have no idea how I got out of that bag, but I found myself far, far away from him after I stopped running.

The Dire Wolfess

Wow, what a shock that had to have been! Maybe he was a lab technician. 

The thing that bothered me most is I did not get a bad vibe. Not until he ask me for money and just kept smiling. I packed my gear and got out of there as quickly as possible. He seemed to get a bit of pleasure making me nervous. Not good.

Ew, creepy.

The Dire Wolfess

You know, I was never too hyper-vigilant about this sort of thing but today, as I was shopping, there was a man sitting outside a store near the door not exactly asking for money but he was obviously in need. It was hot. He appeared to be suffering from the heat. I gave him a couple of bottles of water. As people walked by him it was apparent that his presence made folks uncomfortable. He had probably seen better days. Can't really blame him for being in distress but can't really blame the people who walked way around him either. The man's obvious discomfort made people unsure, I guess. I left feeling this may be the new or more prevalent. Sad but I do understand. Maybe the man who asked me for money was desperate, not dangerous. Still, I have to learn to say no and not let fear dictate my decisions. It's hard being alone sometimes. I'm learning.

I'm sorry you had that happen to you- What a drag but thank God/dess you got away safely. What you describe, LivGolden, is something I've experienced before, too. I wasn't boondocking when the man showed up, but I was far enough away from civilization that I could have screamed and yelled and no one would have heard me. Thank God I got away, too.

When I do get out on the road in a vehicle, I will travel with others, plus have a reasonably sized dog, too. Dogs have awesome hearing!

It can be scary but I'd rather be on the road so I guess it's just something to be aware of. Just the thought of you feeling you could have screamed for help and no one would have heard is heartbreaking. Sorry that happened to you...Oh, and I do have a dog but she is a golden retriever. I will say this though - she lives for hugs and love but her bark is bone-chilling. Weird the first time I heard her bark. Scared the heck out of me. Maybe that's all she's got. That and big, big love!  lol 

I've thought about how to handle desperately poor people asking for money. I figure someone would have to be desperately poor if they're doing that. I do want to help if I can . . . but when this happened recently, I was hesitant to pull out my wallet because I didn't want the person to see how much I had in there! I've decided to keep some envelopes handy containing five or ten dollars or a Walmart or fast food gift card, something like that... so I can give just the envelope and not pull out the rest of my cash supply.

That said, the option to drive away quickly is one I'll be using if strange men approach me. I'm definitely security conscious... but I don't want to have to get a dog, which is the best security to have around as they'll alert you to danger before you know it is there.

That's a great idea! I try to budget for a certain amount of charity every month, so buying a few $5 Walmart gift cards could help somebody buy food or put a couple gallons in their tank (not too long ago you could fill up on five bucks). Maybe I should do a couple $10 cards instead of more $5s just because five bucks isn't enough to buy anything much these days.....

My dog is such a valuable deterrent to creeps! She's large and can be fiercely protective, and she scopes out people's vibes for me. I have severe PTSD from various traumas including violent rape, so I'm not good at judging other people's intentions. I normally simply avoid other people. Atina (my Doggess) makes it possible for me to live more comfortably, knowing I'm protected at all times.

I rented a hotel room a couple weeks ago so my adult son would visit me. We had two queen beds, one for him and one for Atina and I. I got in bed with my pup while he washed up. When he came out of the bathroom to get into his bed, Atina crawled ON TOP OF MY BODY and lay there baring her teeth and growling! I felt bad for him, but reassured that nobody, and I mean nobody, is going to bother me as I sleep!

The Dire Wolfess

In retirement, my mother ran #2 charities - one was a home for unwed mothers and the other a prison ministry. Over the years, my mother and her friends realized that they were really addressing the needs of the homeless or potentially homeless. Each week, volunteers would get together and make 'help' bags. My mother was a born fundraiser and she would get corporations to donate overstock for the bags, such as aspirin; eye drops; Kleenex packets; chewing gum; razors; creams; toothpaste and so on. In each bag was also a gift card for a lunch at a fast food restaurant and, sometimes even more importantly, a stamped postcard. We all carried these 'help' bags in the back seats of our cars. This was ideal.

I miss my mother!  :heart: :heart: :heart:

Dire Wolfess  :heart: :heart: :heart:

LivGolden, What a wonderful mother you had. Clearly rubbed off on her wonderful daughter [emoji178]

The Dire Wolfess

Ah, that's sweet of you, DW. 

I lost my mother and my husband within 6 months of each other. Knocked me to he ground. Each day I remind myself of how good and how strong they both were and of the  love we shared. Some days it's hard to breathe but I am doing my best. I would never want to disappointed either of them. Love, love, love. :heart:

I sure hope you got out of that hole, today! 

Best wishes.

Ouch, Liv, that's hard. I lost my dad in 2014 and that pretty much catapulted me out on the road. I've never had a real partner, and can only imagine how horrible it would be to have and lose, and so close on the heels of.

Yes, I got out, in the dark, and my trailer is safe but my truck busted a tie rod getting hauled out of that deep hole. Now parked on a windy plateau, exhausted, taking a few breaths before Rescue, Part II. I don't even know what that will be. 45 miles from anywhere.

The Dire Wolfess

Sorry about your dilemma. I guess it is a thing we may all have to face out in the road. I have been about 70% on the road for a couple of years, now and only suffered a flat. Of course it was on a Sunday, on the side of a mountain...lol

Good luck!

You know, heading back home with this looming decision of going through with the sale of our property is really weighing on me. I wish I could keep it a while longer and keep Road-ing  but it is not financially feasible. I need to generate income and the land is all I have left. That it is at a premium is pushing me into selling while I can. Still, what a tough decision.

My condolences for the loss of your father. Love is a wonderful thing but losing it is unspeakable. 

BTW, my husband trained K-9's. Mostly, Belgian GSD's but just before he retired, he had the opportunity to work with a  Malinios. Incredibly loyal and super smart. 

I slept in late and need to get going.

I wish I did have a portal to save this day's drive.

Talk to you, soon.

Peace

Yikes! Most of the time we're ok, but you just never know. When I first started out (solo) I was approached by a transient couple camping near me, the woman yelled outside of my van and asked what time it was, and then other times for rides. I should have left but I didn't, I think I was lucky on that one.

Now that I'm not traveling solo, my partner and I have had a man drive into our camp and ask for a light. (for a cigarette) In the same area, some young men in a car stopped and asked for rolling papers!!!! Did we look like the general store lol? Both times were a firm NO. 

I give when I have a few extra dollars on me, or water or food, but never in my own camp. 

Standing firm and trusting our gut are two of our best weapons!

Mary Ellen