WOOHOO! I'm Divorced!

[Auto360]

To my non-married ears, these are horror stories!
I feel like its not even worth the risk to get married. Even if everything checks out in the beginning, things can change.
Although, many marriages are easily predictable that they'll end in divorce.
Whats surprising is that even though the consequences can be so high that one party will clearly suffer, there is no shortage or people waiting to get married.

 

[jimindenver]

There is one born every second. lol

 

[Every Road Leads Home]

I often question if people are even supposed to be with one person for their entire life?

 

[GotSmart]

I just don't understand.  They married my because of the person I was, then they all tried to change me.  :huh:

 

[DannyB1954]

To my non-married ears, these are horror stories!
I feel like its not even worth the risk to get married.

My advice is date them long enough to see how they behave when they don't get what they want.
Anyone can be nice to you if they want something. See how they behave when they don't get what they want.

 

[Txjaybird]

I just don't understand.  They married my because of the person I was, then they all tried to change me.  :huh:

:s  I think Love and Marriage and Long Term Relationships are often strange Beasties.  I met my husband when I was 16 and he was 24.  After 6 weeks of marriage he left me the 1st time.  The reason?  I did not act like a wife.........you see I didn't "mind" him  {his words}

I feel that if you love Me now, love the Me I am and not the Me you hope to change me into.  It works for me, mostly.  I think when we change ourselves to suit others it doesn't really provide true happiness for anyone.  That's my story and I'm a stickin' to it!

Jewellann

 

[ArtW]

Me and my next ex-wife are definitely gonna have a prenupt.

A prenup is worth less than the paper it's written on, if the judge feels it's 'unfair' (gives one party less than the judge would have awarded them) it will simply be set aside

Auto 360, these are actually 'mild' horror stories
it's entirely possible, in an alimony state, to wind up handing your ex up to 75% of your taxable income, ongoing (alimony + child support) leaving your ex living very nearly the same lifestyle they lived with you as their spouse (or better) off of your labor
do yourself a favor, and never 'put a ring on it'
Marriage is not necessary to form a family, and families formed outside the legal system tend to be much more of a mutual benefit than those codified in law, because both partners know the other can walk at any time without the proxy violence of the government being brought to bear

Especially the way the 'family Court System' works now, whoever is the highest earner in a marriage is, socially and financially speaking, handing the other a loaded gun pointed at their own head, and if you ever anger them enough, or just fail to live up to their expectations they'll pull the trigger
Personally, knowing it's such a potential trap, I can't see how you can expect someone you claim to love to put themselves at that level of risk just to prove they're 'commited'

 

[SternWake]

With this ring, I hereby call you accountable and responsible for everything everywhere that is deemed detrimental to my immediate desires, and reserve the right to insist I am always right, with ever increasing volume levels, petulance, complete lack of rationality or logic, followed by personal verbal and then physical attacks.

Then when you inevitably fail, I will punish you with lawyers, courtrooms, and unfathomable greed while I practice playing the victim.

Ain't love grand?

 

[Auto360]

I often question if people are even supposed to be with one person for their entire life?

Every Road Leads Home,

I  have been asking myself that very same question. In fact, it's almost like my own personal hobby to ask questions about things in society that are so ingrained we never even think to question them. (I'm sure most here can identify with this statement)
By asking myself these questions it provides me different ways to view things and can help open my mind to other things.
But most could be never ending debates, which mostly just boil down to what the individual believes, it's neither right nor wrong. 

Thankfully I have no dreams of marriage...just of random women passing through the night....[joking]

 

[GotSmart]

[font=Verdana, Arial][font=Verdana, Arial]JERRY REED LYRICS[/font][/font]

[font=Verdana, Arial]"She's Got The Gold Mine (I Got The Shaft)"[/font]

[font=Verdana, Arial]Well I guess it was back in '63
When eatin' my cookin' got the better of me
So I asked this little girl I was goin' with to be my wife

Well she said she would
So I said "I do"
But I'da said "I wouldn't"
If I'da just knew how sayin' "I do"
Was gonna screw up all of my life

Well the first few years weren't all that bad
I'll never forget the good times we had
Cause I'm reminded every month when I send her the child support

Well it wasn't too long till the lust all died
And I'll admit I wasn't too surprised
The day I come home and found my suitcase sittin' out on the porch

Well I tried to get in
She changed the lock
Then I found this note taped on the mailbox that said
"Goodbye turkey. My attorney will be in touch" 

So I decided right then and there
I was gonna do what's right
Give 'er her fair share
But brother
I didn't know her share was gonna be that much

She got the goldmine (She got the goldmine)
I got the shaft (I got the shaft)
They split it right down the middle
And then they give her the better half
Well it all sounds sorta funny
But it hurts too much to laugh
She got the goldmine, I got the shaft

Now listen, you ain't heard nothin' yet
Why they give her the color televison set
Then they give her the house
The kids
And both of the cars

See?
Well then they started talkin' about child support
Alimony
And the costs to the court
Didn't take me long to figure out how far in the toilet I was

I'm tellin' ya they have made a mistake
Cause it adds up to more than this cowboy makes
Besides, everything I ever had worth takin' they've already took

While she's livin' like a queen
On alimony
I'm workin' two shifts
Eatin' baloney
Askin' myself, "Why didn't you just learn how to cook?"

They give her the goldmine, (She got the goldmine)
They give me the shaft (I got the shaft)
They said they're splittin' it all down the middle
But she got the better half
Well, it all sounds mighty funny
But it hurts too much to laugh
She got the goldmine, I got the shaft

Well, she got the goldmine, (She got the goldmine)
I got the shaft (I got the shaft)
They split it all down the middle
And then they give her the better half
Well, I guess it all sounds funny
But it hurts too much to laugh
She got the goldmine, I got the shaft

Heh, heh. Hey ain't kidding. I got the shaft
But I don't have to worry about totin' a billfold anymore
Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha
I let my wife tote it, I'm gonna be carryin' food stamps
You get it judge?
I'm gonna be indebted
That's not funny, huh?
Huh?
Contempt of court?
What do you mean I'm
Listen judge, I'm just kiddin'
I mean
You can't get blood out of a turnip, can ya? (Ha ha ha)[/font]

 

[frater secessus]

Whats surprising is that even though the consequences can be so high that one party will clearly suffer, there is no shortage or people waiting to get married.

Men are stupid:

[font=Georgia, serif]"A 2009 [/font][font=Georgia, serif]study[/font][font=Georgia, serif] demonstrated that after a short interaction with an attractive woman, men experienced a decline in mental performance. A more recent study suggests that this cognitive impairment takes hold even w hen men simply [/font][font=Georgia, serif]anticipate[/font][font=Georgia, serif] interacting with a woman who they know very little about." -- Scientific American[/font]

 

[GotSmart]

[font=Verdana, Arial][font=Verdana, Arial]WILLIE NELSON LYRICS[/font][/font]


[font=Verdana, Arial]"Last Thing I Needed First Thing This Morning"[/font]

[font=Verdana, Arial]The postman delivered
A "past due" bill notice
The alarm clock rang two hours late
The garbage man left all the trash
On the sidewalk
And the hinges fell off of the gate

And this morning at breakfast
I spilled all the coffee
And I opened the door on my knee
But the last thing I needed
The first thing this morning
Was to have you walk out on me

Last night you came home late
And I knew you'd been drinking
By that old mellow look on your face
I thought, "It don't matter
'Cause it's the holiday season"
And you fill such a big empty space

But then I laid down beside you
And I wanted your lovin'
Because your love makes my life complete
But the last thing I needed
The first thing this morning
Was to have you walk out on me

So excuse me for lookin'
Like my world just ended
And excuse me for lookin'
Like I just lost my best friend
And excuse me for livin'
And being forgiving
So just go on if you want to be free

But the last thing I needed 
The first thing this morning
Was to have you walk out on me[/font]

 

[VanGrrl57]

I am widowed and while I don't wish widowhood on anyone, I can only imagine that having to deal with all that goes with getting divorced is a royal pain in the butt from reading the posts here as well as what friends of mine have had to experience going through their respective divorces. I consider myself fortunate that I have never had to deal with getting divorced.

YIKES!  0.o


VanGrrl57

 

[Denisesweety17]

Marriage is the leading cause of Divorce!!

 

[eoewan]

I learnt with my first marriage that lasted all of 13 months that I was not ready to get into another relationship until I could think of my ex-husband without anger, hurt, or sorrow. Five years later I married my current husband. We are going on 31 years, 4 kids, and 6 grandkids. Definitely we've had times where we look at each other and say 'wtf are we doing?' and then that passes and we know why we are still together. The very nature of relationships are an ebb and flow. I can honestly say there has been times I disliked my husband but we are a team that chose to spend the rest of our lives together.

People too easily are ready to throw a relationship away because it gets hard or for selfishness. A wise man spoke one day and I was privileged to hear it...his words "there is only one difference between united and untied; it is where you place the I. A marriage takes team work and sometimes we have to do for our partners when we really would like to do just for ourselves. You can decide to become a united team or untied and alone." Please note he did not say lonely because as he went on to say..."we can chose to be lonely with a partner or lonely alone; it is your own personal outlook".

Cheers to all.

My wish for everyone is that they are truly happy with their decisions. We all deserve to be happy and with only one kick at this life - live!

 

[TrainChaser]

People get divorced for stupid reasons because they get married for stupid reasons.

I've seen lots and lots and LOTS of couples that make me wonder why they got married in the beginning. And some of them were recently married. Forty years of that snipping back and forth is insane. There's more to life than 'free' sex or a 'free ride, financially'. And it's more than 'yes, but what have you done for me TODAY?'

But the biggest wonder (to me) are the couples who get married, but they aren't even FRIENDS!

 

[WalkaboutTed]

I believe in serial monogamy. Unfortunately, that's cost me well over $500K in attorneys' fees, even when I walk away from the houses. I don't understand how people can believe they own and control you, and if you don't let them, you are going to pay. After a very expensive legal battle, ex-husband #1 told me me that he would spend $50K a year in attorney fees to drag my ass through court, just to make me miserable.

I must be a masochist, I just kept trying. They say insanity is when you keep doing the same thing and expect a different outcome. This time around (after 20+ years), as long as he's amenable, we've decided to stay together and separate at the same time. We have different hobbies, outlooks on travel and different medium-term plans. Hence, his and her vans. We've always spent months apart from each other every year with travel, but we can't live with each other and can't live without. The grass ain't greener, been there and done that, so we'll see how this goes.
Ted

 

[Queen]

...  After a very expensive legal battle, ex-husband #1 told me me that he would spend $50K a year in attorney fees to drag my ass through court, just to make me miserable.  

I have two friends whose ex husbands took them this route, for both it lasted until the kids were out of high school.  They both have excellent careers and incomes, but they are completely broke, and could only start saving again when the constant court battles stopped.

 

[PattySprinter]

Come on people. Let's gather round for a heapin' spoonful of self-appreciation. The kids have gone off to college and we don't have to deal with that anchor anymore. Can I get an AMEN?

I did my job. I raised him. I paid for him. I don't have a guilt in the world. Do you live without the stress anymore, or are you still haunted by your past?


Mike

I am in the same boat as you! Just divorced (ex already remarried!) and kids are all in college.
>>>WHAT TO DO WITH MYSELF NOW??<<<

 

[blmkid]

I am in the same boat as you! Just divorced...