Women Only: Family of 3: Need Advice for Van Dwelling in San Diego, CA

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haileigh

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[font=Verdana, Arial, sans-serif]Hello! I am new here and am hoping to receive some advice for a potentially difficult situation.[/font]

[font=Verdana, Arial, sans-serif]I grew up in San Diego, CA, but I have always lived in a house, so I am completely unfamiliar with things like van living, stealth camping, and boondocking. My husband and I (with our 9-month-old son) have been evicted from our current living situation with my parents, and although my husband is employed full-time, his wage is not enough to cover the cost of living in San Diego. We have been living with my family rent-free and paying down debt (home is owned by my grandmother, and no one in it pays rent). We do, however, have enough in savings to buy either an Astro Van (much cheaper but also smaller option) or a full size cargo or passenger van. Because we have a baby, we plan for this to be temporary, but we will likely be van dwelling in San Diego for at least 4 months or so, so that my husband can continue working at his current job and saving money to move elsewhere (out of state). [/font]

[font=Verdana, Arial, sans-serif]I have read that San Diego is a very difficult place to van/car/vehicle dwell, and I worry about being approached by law enforcement, given that most average people view vehicle dwelling as unsuitable for a child. We will absolutely be able to continue to feed, clothe, and care for my son in a van, so please reserve judgement. The living situation with my family has actually prepared us well for vehicle dwelling because the house has been so neglected that we have gone long periods of time without access to water, electricity, and a kitchen (we are actually being evicted for attempting to fix these things  [/font]
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[font=Verdana, Arial, sans-serif] ). We have found ways to make it completely unnoticeable that we are living in this situation, so I am confident that we can do the same in a van, at least when it comes to judgment in public. The only thing that worries me is law enforcement. My questions are:[/font]

[font=Verdana, Arial, sans-serif]-What are some of the best spots to sleep in your vehicle in San Diego? My husband works in East County, but we are obviously willing to drive to the coast if that is safer. We can also drive farther out east if that is safer. None of the Wal Marts here allow overnight parking, so that is not an option. Can anyone recommend any rest stops or truck stops in the area?[/font]

[font=Verdana, Arial, sans-serif]-If approached by law enforcement, aside from being polite and cooperative, what are the best ways to explain why we're sleeping in a van? We can't claim that we're traveling because we both have California IDs and will have California registration. Do we admit to living in the van, or do we come up with some kind of excuse?[/font]

[font=Verdana, Arial, sans-serif]-Last question: Is this simply too risky in San Diego? Our only other option is to travel in the van, with close to no money left in savings after buying it, to another state where van dwelling is safer. My husband would be forced to leave his job and find one in that state, and we would not have a permanent address to put on job applications. However, this would allow us to use the excuse of traveling when approached by law enforcement. [/font]

[font=Verdana, Arial, sans-serif]Ultimately, our first priority is keeping our son safe and with us. I cannot imagine having to deal with CPS if police decided to get them involved. I am open to all advice and would appreciate restraint from criticism (trust me, I beat myself up about this constantly). Please let me know if any more information that I didn't include would help. Thank you![/font]
 
I wish you the best in this situation and at least from most of us you'll get no judgment here. The owner and creator of CRVL was moved to create this after seeing a mom and her children living in a car in Alaska.

It's become difficult all over for the poor as well as those who choose to live this way. On one hand were are told to think for ourselves and live within our means, then we are demonized for doing it.

I wish I had some answers for you but I don't. I can only lend moral support and wish you a speedy transition out of your situation. Just know you aren't alone. There are more families on the street than you know.
 
^I have definitely found since posting this on a few different forums that this community is very understanding, and that has been such a comfort to me. I have received a few answers from other San Diegan van/RV dwellers that have given me a better idea of what our experience may look like here. I really appreciate all of the encouraging words. Thank you.  :shy:
 
As someone who is not yet on the road (although I will be soon), I can't offer pragmatic advice as of yet. However, just know that there are SO many families out on the road doing what you are needing to do.

In my opinion, you would do better to go to Arizona because that is where you're going to find more people who can offer pragmatic advice about where to camp, etc. I am returning there after 18 months, having lived there from 2010 to the end of 2016. I am ready to go back. There is BLM land near Phoenix and Tucson, although I don't know specifics.

I have lived in San Diego and there is just no way to do it unless MAYBE near the dog beach in Ocean Beach. But that is not really a viable option. (Edit: I see that people have offered advice about that which is hopefully usable.)

Urban stealth camping is tough. I am currently in Long Beach California about a mile from the ocean. Scores and scores of people are living here in various types of vehicles. There is a huge homeless problem here as well, with major panhandling and various crimes. Citizens are up in arms and very vigilant about vehicles parked in front of their houses. Lakewood is somewhat easier. I've heard that it is illegal to stealth camp in Long Beach, but in Lakewood it's OK. That was from someone living in her camper with 6 dogs. (Yes, 6.) There are a lot of side roads on the major streets in Lakewood where the homes are set back from the major street with a median separating. I've seen many places there where it would be easy to park overnight. And apparently the police don't move you along like in Long Beach. I don't know how true that is.

HOWEVER, the City of Long Beach has a 10.25% sales tax so a lot of people drive 2 to 5 miles into Orange County where the tax rate is 8.25%. The savings are substantial.

Like Bob says, there are always a few a-holes in this community just like in any community. However, the vast majority of the RV/vandwelling community is made up of amazing wonderful, helpful, kind and fun folks. You'll get to know them while out there. I know I am looking forward to it.

Good Fortune to you and yours. :)
 
^
First of all, thank you so much for your response! I have had some other members on other forums tell me about how they have done it in San Diego, so we will probably follow their advice for as long as we can, if we don’t get trouble from law enforcement right away. However, I have definitely been interested in Arizona, given that there seem to be more off-road style, free camp areas. I have seen on several forums that a lot of this community populate desert areas. It also has cheap housing and is less than 10 hours from where we already are. It could potentially also have lots of employment opportunities for my husband, who works in HVAC. So Arizona is definitely something to consider seriously. Thank you again! Everyone on here has given me such comfort and relief.
 
HVAC is HUGE in AZ. HUGE. He will have no problems at all finding work. Phoenix Scottsdale is a lovely area. Paradise for 7 months per year with some off years.

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Get out of SD asap yes I am well versed in HVAC in SF Ca. Retired and ready to do the same. Long Term visitor or LTVA in AZ 180 bucks for long term LTVA look for work.
 
DesertRose said:
HVAC is HUGE in AZ. HUGE.  He will have no problems at all finding work. Phoenix Scottsdale is a lovely area. Paradise for 7 months per year with some off years.

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I figured, since it's huge here too. :)  I spent all day yesterday and will spend today looking into places in Phoenix.
 
I am living in my van / travel trailer with my 2 dogs. I have had great success finding cheap places with full hookups on private property from craigslist.
You can find some listings on craigslist, but it's faster to advertise for what you're looking for on craigslist. Just post under housing wanted. I got several responses. A couple of jerks telling me that I can't do what I want to do, but mostly real offers. Just choose the best fit for you and your family.

Currently I choose to live in Phoenix. I found a place with electricity, water and laundry included for $325 / month. I don't need sewer, but it was available. Some places electricity is included, some places it's extra. I'm parked in someone's back yard in a nice residential area.

Last year I was on a 5 acre property in Tuscon - $400/month including electric. So there's all kinds of possibilities for you to live comfortably and your husband can find work. A friend of mine parks her bus in the Tucson area for $150 a month. I found a great place in Silver City NM for $150/month, electric extra. So great places are out there.
 
Confetti said:
I am living in my van / travel trailer with my 2 dogs.  I have had great success finding cheap places with full hookups on private property from craigslist.
You can find some listings on craigslist, but it's faster to advertise for what you're looking for on craigslist. Just post under housing wanted. I got several responses. A couple of jerks telling me that I can't do what I want to do, but mostly real offers. Just choose the best fit for you and your family.

Currently I choose to live in Phoenix. I found a place with electricity, water and laundry included for $325 / month. I don't need sewer, but it was available. Some places electricity is included, some places it's extra. I'm parked in someone's back yard in a nice residential area.

Last year I was on a 5 acre property in Tuscon - $400/month including electric. So there's all kinds of possibilities for you to live comfortably and your husband can find work. A friend of mine parks her bus in the Tucson area for $150 a month. I found a great place in Silver City NM for $150/month, electric extra. So great places are out there.

I also wanted to mention that when you advertise for a place, you can say that you could trade services for part or all of the rent. Child care, yard work, caring for pets while owners are at work, etc.
 
Tucson can be a lot cheaper than Phoenix and there are plenty of HVAC companies here.
 
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