Where to Sleep in San Diego, CA

[haileigh]

[font=Verdana, Arial, sans-serif]Hello! I am new here and am hoping to receive some advice for a potentially difficult situation.[/font]

[font=Verdana, Arial, sans-serif]I grew up in San Diego, CA, but I have always lived in a house, so I am completely unfamiliar with things like van living, stealth camping, and boondocking. My husband and I (with our 9-month-old son) have been evicted from our current living situation with my parents, and although my husband is employed full-time, his wage is not enough to cover the cost of living in San Diego. We have been living with my family rent-free and paying down debt (home is owned by my grandmother, and no one in it pays rent). We do, however, have enough in savings to buy either an Astro Van (much cheaper but also smaller option) or a full size cargo or passenger van. Because we have a baby, we plan for this to be temporary, but we will likely be van dwelling in San Diego for at least 4 months or so, so that my husband can continue working at his current job and saving money to move elsewhere (out of state). [/font]

[font=Verdana, Arial, sans-serif]I have read that San Diego is a very difficult place to van/car/vehicle dwell, and I worry about being approached by law enforcement, given that most average people view vehicle dwelling as unsuitable for a child. We will absolutely be able to continue to feed, clothe, and care for my son in a van, so please reserve judgement. The living situation with my family has actually prepared us well for vehicle dwelling because the house has been so neglected that we have gone long periods of time without access to water, electricity, and a kitchen (we are actually being evicted for attempting to fix these things  [/font]

[font=Verdana, Arial, sans-serif] ). We have found ways to make it completely unnoticeable that we are living in this situation, so I am confident that we can do the same in a van, at least when it comes to judgment in public. The only thing that worries me is law enforcement. My questions are:[/font]

[font=Verdana, Arial, sans-serif]-What are some of the best spots to sleep in your vehicle in San Diego? My husband works in East County, but we are obviously willing to drive to the coast if that is safer. We can also drive farther out east if that is safer. None of the Wal Marts here allow overnight parking, so that is not an option. Can anyone recommend any rest stops or truck stops in the area?[/font]

[font=Verdana, Arial, sans-serif]-If approached by law enforcement, aside from being polite and cooperative, what are the best ways to explain why we're sleeping in a van? We can't claim that we're traveling because we both have California IDs and will have California registration. Do we admit to living in the van, or do we come up with some kind of excuse?[/font]

[font=Verdana, Arial, sans-serif]-Last question: Is this simply too risky in San Diego? Our only other option is to travel in the van, with close to no money left in savings after buying it, to another state where van dwelling is safer. My husband would be forced to leave his job and find one in that state, and we would not have a permanent address to put on job applications. However, this would allow us to use the excuse of traveling when approached by law enforcement. [/font]

[font=Verdana, Arial, sans-serif]Ultimately, our first priority is keeping our son safe and with us. I cannot imagine having to deal with CPS if police decided to get them involved. I am open to all advice and would appreciate restraint from criticism (trust me, I beat myself up about this constantly). Please let me know if any more information that I didn't include would help. Thank you![/font]

 

[NickTheoBennett]

Hello and welcome!  First, you probably don't have to be worried about judgment for living in a van on a vandwelling forum.  Raising a kid in a van (temporary or not) is absolutely nothing to be ashamed of. For what it's worth, many of us here were initially forced into the van by poverty/circumstances and now wouldn't trade it for anything.  

I've been living in my van in San Diego since the RTR ended in January.  It is definitely harder than some places but it really isn't as bad as it is made out to be.  You are correct that the "usual spots" in other parts of the country (like Walmart) are not an option here, but what has been my saving grace is street parking.  Simply find a residential area that isn't too wealthy or an office complex type area with street parking and practice the doctrine of arriving late and leaving early (within reason ... I usually roll into my sleep spot for the night around 8PM and leave at 7AM). If you park in a residential area especially make to not go back to the same spot every night.  Even if you just move 2 blocks every night you will avoid a lot of problems.  

One of my absolute favorite spots was an office park in Sorrento Valley which was near the LA Fitness on Heater ct.  Most/all the business in the area shut down by 7 or 8pm and then it is pretty quiet until 6 or 7am.  I can give you more details on that if it is nearby for you.  I stayed there for about 3 weeks and didn't even bother changing spots every night.  And that's in a big 15 passenger extended van with reflectix covered windows and a solar panel that is the opposite of stealthy.


Finally, don't stress too much about the dreaded police knock.  If it does happen, just be polite and honest. As long as you aren't an asshole or blatantly ignoring a "No overnight parking" sign they aren't going to ticket you or anything.  In fact, I've only gotten the knock once in my year in the van and the cop in that instance was kind enough to point me to somewhere where I could sleep uninterrupted.


Also, if you don't have/can't afford a gym membership many of the beaches have public showers as long as you can tolerate cold water.  Planet fitness is decent at $10/month if you can swing it with the registration fees and such.

 

[haileigh]

Thank you so much for your advice. This has provided me with such relief, given that you actually have experience in San Diego. I also really appreciate the reassurance about living in a van with my son.  :shy:  We are actually looking at 15 passenger vans, so this gives me a good idea of what our experience may look like. We are out in El Cajon, but we would be willing to drive to Sorrento Valley if that has been the best area for you. We can probably afford a Planet Fitness membership, at least for my husband, who needs to be presentable for work. I am so relieved to know that it is unlikely to be ticketed unless we’re ignoring the signs. All of this information is so useful. Again, thank you for taking the time to respond!

 

[tripper]

It was many years ago, but i did have good luck parking in the apt complex areas of El Cajon, there are many parking spots that are adjacent to storm water runoff ditches so you are not parking in front of any apts. Those areas are so densely populated nobody knows who their neighbors are I am sure you are familiar with El Cajon already and it is not the safest place. I stayed in the apt complex zones at night, and hung out at the beach or parks during the daytime. The trolley parking lots are ok during the daytime also. Just park in the apt zones near dusk and leave early in the morning, I did it in a class A RV for years.

There is some mobile home housing in San Diego that is not too high priced. Another option for the San Diego area is to live across the border in Mexico, I rented a place for very little money. An other option is the auto junkyards will allow someone to stay on their properties in exchange for you watching their place while the business is closed.

 

[haileigh]

It was many years ago, but i did have good luck parking in the apt complex areas of El Cajon, there are many parking  spots that are adjacent to storm water runoff ditches so you are not parking in front of any apts. Those areas are so densely populated nobody knows who their neighbors are I am sure you are familiar with El Cajon already and it is not the safest place. I stayed in the apt complex zones at night, and hung out at the beach or parks during the daytime.  The trolley parking lots are ok during the daytime also. Just park in the apt zones near dusk and leave early in the morning, I did it in a class A RV for years.

There is some mobile home housing in San Diego that is not too high priced. Another option for the San Diego area is to live across the border in Mexico, I rented a place for very little money. An other option is the auto junkyards will allow someone to stay on their properties in exchange for you watching their place while the business is closed.

You know, I have been wondering about apartment complex area because I see several RVs parked just as you describe every night when we drive by. We will definitely try that out, and hopefully it will work for us as well. I am looking into mobile home housing, although here it does seem a little bit out of our price range. After living in the van for a while, I can see us potentially doing that in another state, though. I hadn’t even considered Mexico, but that is definitely an option to consider. Thank you so much for all of your advice! 

 

[frater secessus]

[font=Verdana, Arial, sans-serif]Hello! I am new here and am hoping to receive some advice for a potentially difficult situation.[/font]

Welcome!

although my husband is employed full-time, his wage is not enough to cover the cost of living in San Diego.

[font=Verdana, Arial, sans-serif]
You are definitely not alone.  Many folks are taking to alternative living arrangements in areas where housing/cost of living is high.

Even though your son is very young, you are already showing him how to overcome adversity, how to think creatively, how to stick together, how to make do with what is available while planning for the future, how to ask for help and advice.  You're doing a great job!



[/font]

Because we have a baby, we plan for this to be temporary, but we will likely be van dwelling in San Diego for at least 4 months or so, so that my husband can continue working at his current job and saving money to move elsewhere (out of state).

It can be temporary, or longer if it helps.  As others have noted many folks start 'dwelling out of necessity and end up loving it.  Bob from the videos (and who runs the forum) started out that way.

I have read that San Diego is a very difficult place to van/car/vehicle dwell, and I worry about being approached by law enforcement, given that most average people view vehicle dwelling as unsuitable for a child.

[font=Verdana, Arial, sans-serif]
I've collected a list of local ordinances for places, including San Diego.  I include links to the articles or codes to help with further research.

There are several reasons folks are hostile to vandwellers.  Understanding them may help you fly under the radar.

[/font]

1. [font=Verdana, Arial, sans-serif]aesthetic NIMBYism - "those vans/RVs are junky and I shouldn't have to look at them."  As shallow as that sounds, people are like that.  Staying neat and orderly helps avoid this backlash.[/font]
2. [font=Verdana, Arial, sans-serif]the fraternity effect - I got hazed so you get hazed.  Only in this case it's "I paid a stupid amount of money for this weather/view/whatever so I'm not going to let you get it for free."  If you get it for free then they are revealed as chumps, dupes of a con job.  Nobody likes to be revealed as a chump. Particularly not status-grubbers.[/font]
3. [font=Verdana, Arial, sans-serif]child welfare - Nahhh, just kidding.  They don't care about this.  They might try to use it against you but they don't really care. [/font]

We will absolutely be able to continue to feed, clothe, and care for my son in a van, so please reserve judgement.

[font=Verdana, Arial, sans-serif]
The willingness and ability to raise a healthy human in challenging circumstances is deserving of respect, not judgement.  The average American parent could probably learn a lot from you.


[/font]

[font=Verdana, Arial, sans-serif]The living situation with my family has actually prepared us well for vehicle dwelling because the house has been so neglected that we have gone long periods of time without access to water, electricity, and a kitchen[/font]

[font=Verdana, Arial, sans-serif]
...further proving my point 

[/font]

If approached by law enforcement, aside from being polite and cooperative, what are the best ways to explain why we're sleeping in a van? We can't claim that we're traveling because we both have California IDs and will have California registration. Do we admit to living in the van, or do we come up with some kind of excuse?

[font=Verdana, Arial, sans-serif]
One way to deal with anxiety about about law enforcment or CPS is to work through it before the actual contact.  If this sounds workable to you, here are some ideas :

[/font]

1. [font=Verdana, Arial, sans-serif]look at yourself and your environment with "CPS eyes".  When it doubt, arrange and maintain your resources so that it would be immediately obvious to police and CPS that you are taking care of things.  When it comes to police/cps, first impressions may be more important than the reality of the excellent job you doing.[/font]
2. [font=Verdana, Arial, sans-serif]practice an "elevator speech" - a short, enthusiastic, and confident description of what you are doing and why.  It will also be useful when meeting regular people in your regular life.  "Building out this campervan allows my husband to keep his fulltime job in SD.  I get to to parent full time, and we are saving for our future even in this housing market!  Baby Jerome and I go to parks, to museums, health fairs..... take lunch to my husband every day... "    Just spitballing here but that's the idea.[/font]

personal note

When I was a young man my wife and I and two little kids lived in a small trailer for a couple of years. It felt like an adventure and the kids didn't mind a bit.    I've lived in houses since then, but i am building my own campervan to live in when I retire.

If you can make it out to an RTR or other gathering sometime you will see hundreds or thousands of happy, healthy people (with kids and/or dogs) living in vans.   I hope to meet you and your family some day.

 

[haileigh]

Welcome!

[font=Verdana, Arial, sans-serif]
You are definitely not alone.  Many folks are taking to alternative living arrangements in areas where housing/cost of living is high.

Even though your son is very young, you are already showing him how to overcome adversity, how to think creatively, how to stick together, how to make do with what is available while planning for the future, how to ask for help and advice.  You're doing a great job!



[/font]


It can be temporary, or longer if it helps.  As others have noted many folks start 'dwelling out of necessity and end up loving it.  Bob from the videos (and who runs the forum) started out that way.


[font=Verdana, Arial, sans-serif]
I've collected a list of local ordinances for places, including San Diego.  I include links to the articles or codes to help with further research.

There are several reasons folks are hostile to vandwellers.  Understanding them may help you fly under the radar.

[/font]

1. [font=Verdana, Arial, sans-serif]aesthetic NIMBYism - "those vans/RVs are junky and I shouldn't have to look at them."  As shallow as that sounds, people are like that.  Staying neat and orderly helps avoid this backlash.[/font]
2. [font=Verdana, Arial, sans-serif]the fraternity effect - I got hazed so you get hazed.  Only in this case it's "I paid a stupid amount of money for this weather/view/whatever so I'm not going to let you get it for free."  If you get it for free then they are revealed as chumps, dupes of a con job.  Nobody likes to be revealed as a chump. Particularly not status-grubbers.[/font]
3. [font=Verdana, Arial, sans-serif]child welfare - Nahhh, just kidding.  They don't care about this.  They might try to use it against you but they don't really care. [/font]

[font=Verdana, Arial, sans-serif]
The willingness and ability to raise a healthy human in challenging circumstances is deserving of respect, not judgement.  The average American parent could probably learn a lot from you.


[/font]
[font=Verdana, Arial, sans-serif]
...further proving my point 

[/font]

[font=Verdana, Arial, sans-serif]
One way to deal with anxiety about about law enforcment or CPS is to work through it before the actual contact.  If this sounds workable to you, here are some ideas :

[/font]

1. [font=Verdana, Arial, sans-serif]look at yourself and your environment with "CPS eyes".  When it doubt, arrange and maintain your resources so that it would be immediately obvious to police and CPS that you are taking care of things.  When it comes to police/cps, first impressions may be more important than the reality of the excellent job you doing.[/font]
2. [font=Verdana, Arial, sans-serif]practice an "elevator speech" - a short, enthusiastic, and confident description of what you are doing and why.  It will also be useful when meeting regular people in your regular life.  "Building out this campervan allows my husband to keep his fulltime job in  SD.  I get to to parent full time, and we are saving for our future even in this housing market!  Baby Jerome and I go to parks, to museums, health fairs..... take lunch to my husband every day...  "    Just spitballing here but that's the idea.[/font]

personal note

When I was a young man my wife and I and two little kids lived in a small trailer for a couple of years. It felt like an adventure and the kids didn't mind a bit.    I've lived in houses since then, but i am building my own campervan to live in when I retire.

If you can make it out to an RTR or other gathering sometime you will see hundreds or thousands of happy, healthy people (with kids and/or dogs) living in vans.   I hope to meet you and your family some day.

Thank you so much for your thorough response! This has been so reassuring. 

Honestly, I naturally view this as an adventure, but my husband--because he feels responsible for our living situation--is very afraid for us to live this lifestyle, so that, of course, makes me feel like I should be more afraid. I'm hoping that after some time and experience, he will be more open to seeing it as the adventure that it can be and not simply a hell of homelessness.  :-/ 

Bob's videos have definitely given me some extra confidence as well. 

I so appreciate the list of ordinances. I will keep them printed out for future reference. I also love your idea for what to say to police. That actually sounds completely honest and accurate. 

Finally, thank you for your personal experience with trailer dwelling. I am feeling so much better after becoming more familiar with this community. 

 

[jonyjoe303]

Park in the street near apt complexes, there are always cars parked there, lots of apt complexes in san diego and all have off street parking. no one ever bother me in years. I would avoid parking in the street in industrial areas or residential areas because a lone vehicle in the street might attract police/security attention.

But I have my van completely rigged for stealth. All the windows in the rear are covered up, I have the front of van blocked off from the back. The 240 watt solar panel gives all the electricity I need (no noisy generator or running the engine).  To keep cool in san diego all you need is alot of insulation and a swampcooler. I dont have any windows/vents/doors open that attract attention. At night the back of my van is so well insulated, I can be lighted up like a christmas tree inside my van and no light will escape to the outside.

Get a cargo van and you don't have to deal with windows. Buy the rtech foam at home depot its 8 dollars a sheet use a hotglue gun to install. Without that foam insulation and a swampcooler you won't be comfortable living in your van. I wouldnt worry too much about the police, keeping cool is your number one concern. San diego has nice weather but its always sunny and the sun will heat up your van extremely well, the insulation while keeping you cool will help with making you stealthier.

Myself I've seen fullsize old rv's parked for years near where I work as long as they moved them every once in a while no one seems to bother them. And they aren't being stealth about it. 

Here is a picture of how I get air into my van. It connects to my swampcooler, even in the hottest day parked in the sun, I don't have to open any vents or windows.

 

[haileigh]

Park in the street near apt complexes, there are always cars parked there, lots of apt complexes in san diego and all have off street parking. no one ever bother me in years. I would avoid parking in the street in industrial areas or residential areas because a lone vehicle in the street might attract police/security attention.

But I have my van completely rigged for stealth. All the windows in the rear are covered up, I have the front of van blocked off from the back. The 240 watt solar panel gives all the electricity I need (no noisy generator or running the engine).  To keep cool in san diego all you need is alot of insulation and a swampcooler. I dont have any windows/vents/doors open that attract attention. At night the back of my van is so well insulated, I can be lighted up like a christmas tree inside my van and no light will escape to the outside.

Get a cargo van and you don't have to deal with windows. Buy the rtech foam at home depot its 8 dollars a sheet use a hotglue gun to install. Without that foam insulation and a swampcooler you won't be comfortable living in your van. I wouldnt worry too much about the police, keeping cool is your number one concern. San diego has nice weather but its always sunny and the sun will heat up your van extremely well, the insulation while keeping you cool will help with making you stealthier.

Myself I've seen fullsize old rv's parked for years near where I work as long as they moved them every once in a while no one seems to bother them. And they aren't being stealth about it. 

Here is a picture of how I get air into my van. It connects to my swampcooler, even in the hottest day parked in the sun, I don't have to open any vents or windows.

Thank you for your response! I have been scoping out spots near apt complexes, actually, and I have noticed exactly what you stated. There are several RVs that just stay on the same streets every day. 

Unfortunately, we need a passenger van because we need a spot for my son’s car seat, but we plan to remove excess bench seats and make that our living space.

I so appreciate the advice about insulation. I have passed all of this on to my husband.

This is all such useful information, and none of it seems very expensive, so that works for us! 

 

[wrightstuf]

I didn't see it mentioned.
2 things to keep in mind...ask permission. you would be surprised how often you can park when otherwise you would have been rousted out. Also, don't camp. Don't have awnings out, BBQs, etc. Just park