Totally Confused

[joey]

My parents have been supportive about me getting a van,until today it seems. I have been staying with them for the past four months so I could save up for a van. My dad took me to look at a van today. When I told him I wanted to go ahead and buy it,he said that if I did I would have to leave. My problem is that if I buy the van,I won't have the money to live on for the rest of the month. It would take everything I've saved to pay for it,plus tags and insurance. I am getting really depressed.Any ideas would be greatly appreciated. thanks,joey

 

[Where~the~wind~blows]

Joey, all you can do is follow your heart....ask yourself why are they wanting you to stay? are they concerned for your safety? do they&nbsp;benefit&nbsp;from having you stay? what's the motive behind the action? The threat was pretty intense...and I can understand a lot of their concern... my family could care less, unless I can't do things for them... then its an issue. Recently in the&nbsp;hurricane&nbsp;my brother wanted me to stay at my shop and allow his children to use my van to stay in. When I said no, it was clearly an issue for him.&nbsp;<br /><br />You will face hurdles, and hit bumps in the road, are they concerned you will not be able to make it?<br /><br />I know me and if that was the reply I got, I would have said OK, sorry you feel that way, but I want and need to do this...I am not sure I can make it but I want to try.&nbsp;

 

[mockturtle]

It sounds to me as if you want the best of both worlds.&nbsp; Are you really ready to be independent or not?

 

[dragonflyinthesky]

Mockturtle and wtwb speak wisely.<br /><br />Myself, I spent my entire life before my mother's death trying to please her, then a few years ago after she died, trying to please my father. While my mother was sick, I took care of her-as I should have because I could.&nbsp; <br /><br />There were a lot of years I let everyone control me though that I could have been making my own path.&nbsp;Between time I tried to mix in 22 years of pleasing a husband.<br />No one was ever really happy even when I did everything expected of me. They always wanted more. <br /><br />I lived in my sticks and bricks instead of flying on my own. I do not regret the time I raised my kids, a lot of wonderful years. I encouraged and taught my kids self sufficiency from the time they were small. I let them go when the time came.&nbsp;I do believe if you have kids, their needs come first. I don't expect my needs to come first with them. Yes, I do miss them but I see them and we have fun together. Daughter will be traveling with me this this summer if she can. I will visit with son and his inlaws on Destin beach this winter.<br /><br />How many years have I lived for others?&nbsp; I'm going on 59 years old.&nbsp; Think about&nbsp;it.&nbsp;<br /><br /><strong><span style="color: #ff00ff;">Dragonfly</span></strong>

 

[joey]

&nbsp;I was counting on getting a van and then staying here while I converted it. When he told me to stay here and save money for a van,I thought he would let me work on it here. I will just have to make sure whatever van I choose can be used like it is,until it can be converted.

 

[peacetara]

joey:<br /><br />When I moved into my van, it was a giant metal shell with some shelves along one wall. there are pictures on my conversion forum that show what it was like.&nbsp; I moved in with a bedroll and some clothes.&nbsp; It's maybe not the ideal way to start this lifestyle, but it works.&nbsp; The upside is, you start doing the most important things first, insulation, etc <img src="/images/boards/smilies/smile.gif" border="0" align="absmiddle"><br /><br />Whatever you decide, you need to do what is right for YOU.&nbsp; Don't let anyone pressure you into doing something that isn't right for you.<br /><br />With Love,<br />Tara

 

[joey]

Thanks Tara, They bought a class c because that's what they wanted. My dad thinks I should do the same. All I want is a decent van.

 

[dborla01]

Hi Joey. Darrell here. Glad you come here and get encouragement to continue your journey toward independence. It can be a time of emotional ups and downs, as you are experiencing, but your path will become clear in time. The folks who commented are good folks and have maturity so the path you are on has been walked before. <img src="/images/boards/smilies/smile.gif" /> Darrell.

 

[bobbert]

My parents have been supportive about me getting a van,until today it seems. I have been staying with them for the past four months so I could save up for a van. My dad took me to look at a van today. When I told him I wanted to go ahead and buy it,he said that if I did I would have to leave.

You are in a situation where you are (kinda) forced to live with dictators. I feel for ya, bud.

If it helps at all, it sounds like that the van that you looked at (in another post) might NOT have been worth it; especially if it appeared like the odometer had been tampered with. I wouldn't take any chances on a van with over 100,000 miles such as possible tampering.
This kinda sounds cliche', but "better things come to those who wait"...
Who knows, maybe something better will come along.

I live with my dad, & he's abusive, sick, mentally-ill, and totally disrespects me & for what I believe in. Having said that, I have a need, & he as well has a need (in the here-and-now). We get along well most of the time.
Nonetheless, he's VERY opinionated about what my (future) lifestyle will be.

How do I cope with it? Well, I simply leave him out of the picture & out of the know.
Stealth is a big aspect of what I call "feral-living", or better known as "vandwelling", "cardwelling", truckdwelling" "hatchbackdwelling" & etc... It's separate from domesticated living, (or, house/stix & bricks living).

My point is, I live by a little phrase... "EVERYTHING DONE IN STEALTH".
I stealthly plan for my future (in the meantime) by saving money, gathering intellectual information pertinent to vandwelling, and NOT tell anyone who will make my life miserable by trying to tell me how to live!!!

Will it work for you? Perhaps it will. I know it works for me.
I don't have a van. My dad won't let me whilst I live with him rent-free.
But that's okay; I'm biding my time, while saving money in the future.

I can ALWAYS resort to living in my 4x4 Subaru Forester. I would be happy with that & it looks like I will live in it <img src="/images/boards/smilies/wink.gif" border="0" align="absmiddle">

Don't sweat it right now... just remember to bide your time <img src="/images/boards/smilies/wink.gif" border="0" align="absmiddle">

The sun WILL RISE AGAIN TOMORROW. I'm sure you'll be there to experience it <img src="/images/boards/smilies/wink.gif" border="0" align="absmiddle">

 

[joey]

Thanks xj700, my parents are VERY opinionated...lol. I like the idea of "everything done in stealth",I need to be doing that myself. For now I am biding my time until I can get something and go. I need to save up some traveling funds also.

 

[cedric]

Depends how much you want it. I would not buy that van. Bide your time to save extra cash for the conversion and some expenses / maintenance. I also would get as many jobs as I could handle for the short term. Work weekend also. If you have some items you could use for trade on places like craigslist you could post some ads in the barter section. Barter for things you need for the van conversion. I'm sure someone has some Styrofoam insulation they would like to get rid of or some rug or some ladder racks maybe. barter your time, talent, stuff. Get creative and get positive. There is nothing you can not achieve with just some time effort and strong will. Hang in there

 

[StarEcho]

I agree with all those who recommend biding your time and saving your money. &nbsp;<br /><br />I'd just like to add that it might also be a good thing to acknowledge and appreciate your good fortune in having a rent free or low rent place to bide your time. &nbsp;As irritating and opinionated as those parents might be, you might remember that they don't HAVE to do a blessed thing for you. &nbsp;Just sayin...

 

[joey]

I know, I keep reminding myself that on a daily basis. thanks everyone for the encouragement.

 

[bobbert]

not that I am trying to change your mind about purchasing a van for dwelling in, but, some people in a position (like yours) might have to take what they can get, if it does the job.
For instance, look at what this guy & his companion did to a Geo Metro...

 

[joey]

I finally convinced my dad that all I really wanted was a van. He took me to look at one this afternoon. The link to it is in "van questions". I go pick it up in the morning.

 

[mockturtle]

Looks good, joey!! Congratulations! <img src="/images/boards/smilies/smile.gif" />

 

[crazybill]

I like the van Joey. How was your Dad about it? Hope all is well. <br />-Bill-

 

[twokniveskatie]

Hey, Joey, good for you!!!

 

[joey]

He likes it. He just wanted to make sure that was what I really wanted.