There will be Peace in the Forum

Help Support Van Living Forum:

akrvbob

Administrator
Staff member
Administrator
Joined
Dec 12, 2010
Messages
7,706
Reaction score
31
[font=Verdana, Arial, sans-serif]“I didn't intent to raise the controversy of butane vs. propane or adapters or dual stoves and such. Just a quick post on a good deal that others might also appreciate.[/font]

[font=Verdana, Arial, sans-serif]Honestly, must every post be a battle? it's getting tiresome”[/font]
:mad: :mad: :mad: :mad:
I’m sick and tired of the constant fighting and bickering over Even the smallest issue. Often, I can’t even see a significant issue, just fighting for the sheer pleasure of a debate. It’s going to stop.

The moderators are going to start keeping a list of all members who love debating and turn every small issue into a mountain. Unfortunately, that’s often a very gray area that can’t be genuinely figured out. We don’t want to do these stupid things any more than you want us to do them! But, you’ve backed us into a corner and forced us to make such silly decisons!

There will be peace and harmony in the forum. A few can’t be allowed to ruin it for the many.

So, we’re going to give you a fresh slate, all is forgiven. But, every time you get in a pissing contest about nothing you get a warning and when your warnings reach 100% you go on moderation. That means a moderator must approve  each and every one of your posts.

You don’t want that, and we don’t want that—who wants extra work???

Fortunately, it’s very easy to avoid!!

Before you hit “send” look that post over by asking a few quick and easy questions:

  1. Is this post really helpful to others?
    Or am I just showing off how smart I am?
    Will this be helpful to a raw newbie Or just more blather and confusion?
    Is this bickering that ruins the forum for others?

To be fair, I really do believe you honestly mean well and you are just unaware of the problems you create. I’m not writing this in anger, but the goal of the forum is to be helpful and the things that stand in the way of that have to be corrected.  

Constant bickering about nothing keeps people who come here to get help from gettin get help they need—so it has to stop.

If you can’t figure it out for yourself, the moderators will have no choice but figure it out for you.

What do you say, can’t we all just get along??!!
 

lenny flank

Well-known member
Joined
Nov 15, 2016
Messages
2,458
Reaction score
2
Speaking for myself, everyone would get along better with me if they'd just recognize that I am always right.

I *thought* I was wrong once--but I was mistaken about that.

:angel:
 

wagoneer

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 20, 2013
Messages
3,121
Reaction score
1
Location
San Francisco
I have noticed how trivial some posts are and how unhelpful repetitive info is posted. It does get boring to read.
 

tx2sturgis

Well-known member
Joined
May 4, 2017
Messages
6,490
Reaction score
68
Location
Texas
I'm probably as guilty as anyone, and even more so in certain subjects, but dang, I just have to respond when someone tosses incorrect information out there.

Should I stop taking the 'bait'? Probably.  :dodgy:

But then, I feel that a lot of misleading information gets posted and assumed to be fact. This forum has a WIDE and DEEP influence on a lot of people.

There needs to be a balance.
 

Almost There

Well-known member
Joined
Nov 3, 2014
Messages
5,130
Reaction score
0
tx2sturgis said:
But then, I feel that a lot of misleading information gets posted and assumed to be fact. This forum has a WIDE and DEEP influence on a lot of people.
I agree that this forum has a wide and very deep influence.

When you see information that is, in your opinion, misleading or factually wrong, you can always hit the 'report' button at the bottom of the post. There is room for you to offer an explanation of why you think it's wrong or misleading.

At least one moderator will look at the post and decide whether to remove the offending post.

By doing this, you're refraining from the bickering, protecting your warning level and alerting the mods that a post needs to be looked at. IMO a far better solution than jumping in to the fray!!
 

tx2sturgis

Well-known member
Joined
May 4, 2017
Messages
6,490
Reaction score
68
Location
Texas
Almost There said:
When you see information that is, in your opinion, misleading or factually wrong, you can always hit the 'report' button at the bottom of the post. There is room for you to offer an explanation of why you think it's wrong or misleading.

Sorry, I don't dial 911.

:p
 

cyndi

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 24, 2011
Messages
5,731
Reaction score
3
A PM is always an option, too.

No one is saying don't state your opinion. What's being said is state your opinion and then walk away. A pissing contest serves no purpose
 

Trebor English

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 20, 2016
Messages
1,401
Reaction score
9
Location
Melbourne, FL
highdesertranger said:
if I might add,   STAY ON TOPIC.  please.  highdesertranger

The original poster, akrvbob, starts with the example of a butane bargain post going off topic into bickering about non-butane bargain issues.  Staying on topic would, in this example, eliminate the bickering.

When you see the thread going to another topic go ahead and start a new one.  They are free.  The new title should help users find the information.  For example, there was a thread where the original question was "do I need a fuse here?"  It got derailed into connectors.  I started the thread titled "best 12 volt plug and socket."  If someone is searching in the electrical forum that title might help find the information.  All of the connector stuff obscured the original fuse question.  All the connector information in the first thread is hidden under the first title.  

If the best connector thread goes into details and minutia about some connector that's ok.  That's where it belongs.  If some of the posts get rude and snarky that's unfortunate.  At least it doesn't obscure the original fuse question in the first thread.  The person with the fuse question doesn't get offended, doesn't even see it.  There is less damage.  

If you don't want to see arguments and bickering about which connectors are best you know which thread to avoid.  If everyone stays on topic there is nothing there that isn't about connectors.
 

Charlotte's Web

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 10, 2017
Messages
576
Reaction score
0
tx2sturgis said:
Sorry, I don't dial 911. :p
 
:D :D :D 
This too shall pass.  Better to dial up your inimitable
sense of humor which, IMHO, is one of the high points
of this forum.  
Cha Cha Cha
 

MrAlvinDude

Well-known member
Joined
Nov 11, 2017
Messages
340
Reaction score
4
I hope this is the right thread to say thank you to everyone.

Thank you for being here. Thank you for participating. Thank you to every one who share experiences and insights. But especially thank you to Bob and everyone he has enlisted to help make this such a great place to be.


I find that communication can sometimes be difficult, and I find that this can become even more so, when using written communication.  

So I appreciate that those in charge of the forum, has decided on a method, that will hopefully assist me (and all) in working on finding (and/or developing) communication styles that are conducive to the sharing of both experiences, insights, opinions, humor and the kind and considerate assistance, when ever something I (or someone else) has written, could easily be misunderstood, misinterpreted, or simply does not contain information, habits or acts that should be repeated by someone seeking  assistance.



I believe it is possible to learn to communicate in ways and styles, that allow room for all, and allow room for personal preferences, without the need for such preferences to become  universally true for everyone else.

And because I believe this, I also welcome arguments about other personal preferences.  And I also welcome comments about dangers or disadvantages about my way of saying, doing or implementing things.



What I, however, really do not like is; being told that I must or ought do things a certain way.


The one requirement I have to communication, is; that I must always be allowed time and space to become wiser, as I will Always end up doing my thing, exactly my way.

And for this same reason, I actually do try my very best, to also allow You the time and space to chose what will become: Your way of doing your thing. 


But I truly and honestly appreciate anyone who takes time to assist me in limiting (my) costly mistakes, or help me see that it can also be done some other (better) way.
As I am not good in school (and unfortunately I have twenty one years of schooling papers to prove it), then I mainly learn by doing (and failing), and by getting advice from others, while I am right in the middle of trying to do it.


And thus I hope I will quickly learn how things are best done in this forum as well. 



Did I remember to say Thank You to all, for being exactly you?

And that I will do my best to re-read,  to see if I at least appear to be on-topic,  and have weeded out superfluous (read: too much argumentative) stuff, before I push that "post" button?
 

Sleep

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 22, 2017
Messages
186
Reaction score
0
Location
Las Vegas
Almost There said:
When you see information that is, in your opinion, misleading or factually wrong, you can always hit the 'report' button at the bottom of the post. There is room for you to offer an explanation of why you think it's wrong or misleading.
As usual I agree with Almost, there have been numerous times when I start reading a thread and part way through there are so many differing opinions, I quit reading because I'm confused. Who  is right?  Have mercy on those of us who are trying to learn.
I'm done with tonight's official rant, thanks Bob for the topic.
~Sherry
 

frater secessus

Well-known member
Joined
Aug 6, 2016
Messages
1,791
Reaction score
45
Location
desert southwest
Almost There said:
When you see information that is, in your opinion, misleading or factually wrong, you can always hit the 'report' button at the bottom of the post.
...
IMO a far better solution than jumping in to the fray!!

Additionally, those frustrated by exposure to informed discussion or factual corrections could Ignore User from the link on the offenders's profile. <-- click on the username in the post.

The "bickering" immediately disappears for them and everyone else can read the full discussion. It's a productive and zero-drama solution.
 

Trebor English

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 20, 2016
Messages
1,401
Reaction score
9
Location
Melbourne, FL
What I do is ignore as frater suggests but before posting I click on and read ignored posts to avoid being inflamatory inadvertently.  

Did you see what I did there?  I said what I do.  I didn't tell you what to do.  I explained a work around made necessary by what I do.  I exposed a problem my way causes and a way to deal with it.  This would be useful to someone deciding to try what it is that I do.
 

WanderingCanuck

Well-known member
Joined
Nov 16, 2017
Messages
245
Reaction score
0
Location
Ontario, Canada
Overall, I agree with this new policy. Not that my agreement or disagreement changes things, but it seemed like a good way to start off.

I hope, however, that this doesn't completely shut down productive and respectful debates and discussion over the merits of one option vs another. As was mentioned, it's often a grey area whether something is "on topic" or not because the person asking the question often doesn't know what they don't know. There may be hints in a question that lead responders to lean a bit away from the original question because there are other things to consider in the big picture.
 

dawnann7

Well-known member
Joined
Nov 12, 2017
Messages
104
Reaction score
4
Location
Calgary, AB, Canada
tx2sturgis said:
I'm probably as guilty as anyone, and even more so in certain subjects, but dang, I just have to respond when someone tosses incorrect information out there.

I don't think Bob is saying we can't debate and/or try to teach each other new things, but there is a diplomatic way of doing and there is an arrogant way.

For me, my natural impulse is snark and condescension but I am trying to teach myself how to be more tactful. Sorta... :angel:
 

free2enjoy

Well-known member
Joined
Dec 12, 2017
Messages
131
Reaction score
0
Location
Florida
IMO, too many people (close to 7 billion) don't understand the difference between sharing ideas and sharing dogma.

Sharing ideas reflects the reality that no one knows it all, that we all have something to offer others for their benefit, and that others have something to offer for our benefit. Life is best done as a community of interdependence, of synergies, while we seek to make the daily grind of life easy so that we have time to play and be creative most of the time.

Dogma, on the other hand, is a proclamation that the person knows the absolute final truth about something. It's the pretense that an idea is the truth, not merely a guess or an educated guess.

To recognize that ideas are guesses and not the truth is extremely humbling and there's nothing humble about dogma. The humility comes when one realizes what was proclaimed as truth has led to self-destruction and that there is no one to blame for that except ones own ignorance. Rock bottom.

Ideas are always wrong because we form ideas when we don't know something, not when we do know something. Every idea put into motion soon reveals its shortcomings which forces rethinking as new information is now available.

Living dogmatically is a scary life because reality is constantly proving dogma wrong but mentally the person has some happy idea connected to the idea that the dogma is right. It's a mind game to trick self into happiness and anyone challenging the dogma is then becomes the enemy of happiness, hence debates that get out of hand and worse.

I wish the entire world could let go of everything and anything dogmatic. It would mean the end of wars which then would be the end of poverty. We could enjoy each other and learn from each other instead of argue and fight each other.
 

GeorgiePorgie

Well-known member
Joined
Dec 26, 2017
Messages
169
Reaction score
0
Location
Central California
For what it is worth, barring politics is very sensible. I am so sick of forums that have been ruined by pointless arguing. This forum is so much more helpful and respectful than most. I am so happy to have found it.
 

Myassis Dragon

New member
Joined
Mar 16, 2018
Messages
1
Reaction score
0
SUGGESTION: Before hitting that ENTER button, leave it there overnight and sleep on it.
I often find that when I re-read it in the morning, I have a different outlook than I had previously.
I might make edits, or decide not to post at all.
That way you can make sure you come across as courteous and helpful.
 

Quinn

Member
Joined
May 16, 2018
Messages
16
Reaction score
7
A 100% supported suggestion and solution, thank you Bob for strong and decisive leadership.
( I'd even go one step further and get cleaner-uppers to delete anything that does not contain an active helpful tip etc. (all the words, opinions, or responses other than something someone can use for the purpose of cheap rv living etc) It is very difficult to dig through all the words and 'personality filled responses for the sake of making conversation".
 

Latest posts

Top