THE GIRLS' ROOM: Can I poke my head back in?

[AmieW]

I got a little upset last week because of something people said and had to take a break. I miss you gals, though, so I figure maybe you will let me hang out here?

I'm so torn over this van dwelling thing. I have a year to think about it, and I need to declutter anyway, but being undecided does make decluttering harder. I know I'm going to put things in storage while I try it out, because I have family heirloom furniture I am NOT going to give up, plus some pretty precious keepsakes and such. Still, I can get rid of a lot, and need to, because it all doesn't fit into this 520 SF apartment anyway.

One thing that keeps me from getting rid of too much is that if I don't like van life, I don't want to start completely over with nothing. I don't mind starting over with the absolute miinimum, but I don't want to have to buy everything all over again. So my goal is to get down to the absolute essentials and things I cannot POSSIBLY part with and go from there. I know it's probably crazy to pay for storage, but like I said, I'm NOT giving up my furniture, because it is all I have left of my family. It was my grandparents' stuff, then my parents' and now mine, and I lost so much of what was important to me along the way, I just can't let go of this.  My son wants it eventually, but not right now, I don't think.

I don't know if I'm maybe too old for this lifestyle, but I won't know until I get back in shape and lose this 40 lbs. of fat I've put on. Once I'm healthier, I think I will feel a little more confident.

It's all just scary to me. Was it scary to you when you started thinking about it? I know some of you were forced into this life, and even though I could stay where I am, I feel trapped because I don't have enough money to do anything I want to do. I feel like I'm in financial prison sometimes.

Anyway, sorry to come back with a whiny little rant, but I just need some girl time.

 

[AmieW]

This is why I wanted to take a year to "get ready." I won't go into the long, arduous journey of my last 5 years or why I am hanging on to things I don't need, or why I haven't decluttered, because that would be a book. Short version: I was so scared I was going to have to move again that I didn't want to unpack and I had lost so much, I couldn't bear to let go of any more. Try losing your job, car, house and every bit of savings all within 2 years and have to move from place to place trying to get into a financially stable situation and not end up feeling paranoid and scared to settle down.

I don't own a car. I don't need a car. it would be stupid to own a car when I work at home and live about a mile from all the shopping I could ever need. All I own is stuffed into this 520 sf house and 300 sf of gardens, which is 1/3 the size of the house and 1/10th the size of the yard I lost. Along the way, I have lost, sold, given away, or left behind 75% of what I owned, all my savings, and all my retirement. So forgive me if this is a big step for me, and one which I need to take my time on.

I need to lose weight and get in shape because I am unhealthy right now, and wouldn't survive a week on the road. I don't want to get out into the wilderness and have a medical emergency which could be prevented by a year of healthy living and exercise.

Not everyone has the money or the fortitude to just "jump into" things. It will take me a long time to save enough money to buy a cheap van and outfit it with the basics I need to be somewhat comfortable. Once I get it, I fully intend to do some local trips to test it out before I invest a lot of money into fixing it up. If I hate it, I will simply sell the van and go back to apartment life. If it's o.k., but I don't want to do it full-time, I may keep the van and take short jaunts.

At any rate, it's all scary for me, because it's a HUGE life change right at the time I was starting to think I wanted to get settled down in one place. When you are financially secure, life isn't so scary. When you aren't as secure, it can be terrifying.

 

[cyndi]

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[cyndi]

Amie, only you can know what's best for you and you may not know that until after you try it.

Taking your time and moving forward methodically sounds like a good plan , for now. You can change your mind at anytime and decide to go full steam ahead.

Many of us have found this lifestyle to be healthier; or at least easier to maintain. For me, the minute I hit the road the weight starts coming off. I'd Cross that off my list of things to worry about.

 

[AmieW]

Thanks, Cyndi. Yeah, I know about the limited bandwidth too. Wasn't thinking.

I have a ways to go until I can even afford a van, since I'll be living on about $700 a month. It will take me at least a year to get it and get it halfway outfitted. I have some plans to "live like I'm in a van" in the meantime, so I can get a little taste of what it's like.

 

[AmieW]

gcal, I'm long over the being financially destroyed. I sometimes think it was the best thing that could have happened to me, because it showed me exactly what is important in this world, and what is just clutter that restricts you from living free. I could actually live comfortably here, but if I'm going to have to work my tail off, I might as well be seeing this great country while I'm doing it.

Thanks for the advice on the van. I intend to get the best I can, put some money into mechanical repairs/prevention maintenance, then have an emergency fund set up before I go.

 

[TrainChaser]

Amie, the VERY FIRST thing you must remember is that you're doing it the way YOU want to do it, WHEN you want to do it, and IF you want to do it. It seems like a good idea now, and may continue that way. Great! But if you change your mind, that's fine, too.

You'll read here about people who get rid of everything they own, and that was fine for them. Maybe they didn't have much, maybe it wasn't important to them, maybe they have a good income and can replace it easily. But some of them want everyone else to do the same thing. Why, I don't know.

Change is always kind of scary. New people, new job, new location, new circumstances. Some people like that kind of thing (*rolley eyes*). It's fine if it's your own idea, but being forced into it leaves a lot to be desired, doesn't it?

Just keep doing what you're doing with future 'mobile living' in mind, always with a little PostIt Note stuck in your brain that you can change your mind if you want to.

Just think of it as camping. Have you ever done that kind of thing? VanCamping and VanLiving are pretty much the same thing to me -- it was a pretty effortless move from one to the other. I'm selling out soon, and will be going back to living in a van, but due to the info on the Internet, it's easier these days than it was back in the early 80s. Cheaper, too.

 

[AmieW]

TrainChaser, thanks so much for the encouragement. I'm on a decluttering forum where I run into the same thing, with everyone saying "toss it," or "donate it," when I want to get every single penny I can out of trying to sell things. I do believe that those with more money have sometimes lost the understanding of how much a dollar is really worth to someone who doesn't have one. I'm a freelance writer, and I used to work for a site that paid me $3 for a 300 word article. That sucked, but the good thing was that they paid me daily, so if I wrote daily, I got paid daily. Sometimes the few dollars I got from that site was all I had to eat on for the day, or helped me pay a bill I was worried about paying. I still get flack for writing for lower paying sites, but I do it because it's a sure thing, and I know I'm going to get paid, no matter how little it is. That pays the bills and miscellaneous expenses, and the rest of the time I work on finding better paying work.

My point is that everyone has to do what is best for them. Maybe van dwelling will be great for me, but maybe I'll get this place decluttered and find it much nicer to live in and want to just stay here and travel. I used to camp all the time, even in the summer when it was really, really hot. But we were camping at a lake, so it wasn't so bad. I have never liked cold weather, so I've never camped in the freezing cold, and will try with all my might not to van dwell in it either. There are planty of places to be where it's not broiling in the daytime and freezing at night. I'd love to visit the desert, but not live there, that's for sure.

So I'm just exploring now, and I will make up my mind when I make up my mind. I may find a year down the road that my lupus has gotten worse, and I can't handle living in a van. Life throws all sorts of things your way.

 

[kiznkitten]

Don't feel like the lone stranger. I've lost it all 3 times and now going for a 4th. The Van Life is a good way to feel more confident in your ability to keep things going, since it's very cheap compared to apartment living.  Because of the way it is now with unlimited rent increases, but no raises for SS and the raiding and bankrupting of retirement accounts, this is probably the best choice for many people.  It's going to get worse before it gets better (if ever).  Be sure to have some money set aside for repairs and maintenance, and you should be OK. Good vehicle insurance with replacement cost included is a must! A legal plan that allows you to talk to a lawyer anytime you want to, and that will handle your traffic tickets for you to keep points off your record is also a must! Find a LegalShield representative and sign up for $20 a month. It's worth it's weight in gold! The people on the road are different, most of them are helpful and considerate. There are always a few A$$holes that will screw that up, but for the most part you will get plenty of help and support. Always be careful and use common sense. Always be aware that the stigma of homelessness is a problem.  Those who are still able to afford a conventional place don't get it yet, won't they be surprised when it happens to them! Stay away from heavily populated areas and wealthy area's and you should have a better experience. There are plenty of video's on YouTube that will help you see what's out there. It's scary giving up a fixed location! Don't be afraid to minimize, you can't take it with you anyway, so enjoy the great outdoors unencumbered with too much stuff.  I did the Van Life for 6 years before when I was too sick to work and had almost no income. Many people helped me out. My mistake was trying to go back inside. Now I've been priced out of a place to stay again, and I can't make enough money at my age with my disability to fix it. So I'm going back out for good.