Real

[RoamingUSA79]

Why are there so many fake people out there ruining it for everyone else that really wants a true partnership between two people? This life isn't for everyone I get that, that's okay but just be honest. I'm just looking for a woman that wants to live life.  That understands that nothing is perfect and things will go wrong but doing it together is what it is all about.  Yes I could do this alone, but to be honest may sound corny but I have a lot of love and passion to give and I do it everyday with intensity. Just want someone that understands a relationship is work everyday and the moment you want to put it on cruse control and become okay with just okay it is over.  Or maybe I'm wrong and asking to much ha ha.  

Hope everyone is well

 

[RoamerRV428]

ya gotta weed thru the fakes to find yourself a pearl!

it is hard to match up personalities and find someone who wants a nomad type lifestyle. A lot still want the big house, the big shopping sprees, the 'burbs, the big parties, the big vacations and more. Trying to find someone to fit a lifestyle you have chosen and work within those means is gonna be hard. Then trying to find someone who suits your values etc on top of that and wants to live exactly as you do. Best one can do is just keep trying.....and make sure you fine tune your BS meter....so you can weed thru people faster and get a read on them sooner so you don't waste your time as much. It is rough, no doubt about that

 

[jeanmarie]

Yes, you are asking too much. Your bio says you are 39 yrs old. What do you think most women your age want? It is certainly not to uproot their lives and their kids' lives so they can travel around in a van/rv with no job, away from their entire social support system, with no way to make a living, with some guy they barely know. 

Women in their early 20's may be interested in the lifestyle. But they sure as the devil are not interested in traipsing off with some guy nearly twice their age to do it - unless he has money and is ready to give it to them. Most are not stupid. They know that their fertile time is limited. If they eventually want families, you are a lousy choice.

As for older women, well, most will be concentrating on building their own retirement. They will have arthritis or something else and will want some comforts.  Pooping in a bucket and only showering once a week does not appeal.

So, your problem is that women ARE real. Your expectations of them are not. You may find a rare unicorn. If you do, grab her and hang onto her. You are a lucky man. But there is a lot of competition for the unicorns and most men will not be chosen.

 

[travelaround]

Go to the caravans and meeting places for vandwellers and you may find the person you're looking for. Or you might just meet her at some remote campsite. But don't spend life stressing about not having someone. Relationships bring their own problems. Enjoy what you have now.

 

[cyndi]

^^
Many of us older women, who are out on the road, don't mind pooping in a bucket or showering once a week. Stereotyping, generalizing and categorizing this community never works. I believe that's true for most communities

 

[owl]

Yes, you are asking too much.

WOW! Maybe you and I read a different OP. This man is just lamenting his current life. Why don't we try to be helpful rather than telling him how hopeless it is for him. Show some kindness. OP, first you are not a lousy choice. If you are a good person, with good values there are countless women out there who would be love to meet you. I think this life is just about like any other when it comes to making connections. The large cities in this world are filled with unhappy people who can't find someone to share their life with. Foremost, understand that because you have chosen your life doesn't lessen you in any way. You are a valid man and there are thousands of women out there willing to tell you that. In my opinion stay away from social media. It is very contrived and operates in very predictable avenues that folks like us probably don't. Meet and talk to women the same way you would in any other lifestyle. You have nothing to be ashamed of and the type of lady you are probably looking for would be attracted to your confidence and freedom. By the way, I know for a fact that there are some incredible women who come here who not be put off in any way by your chosen lifestyle. I truly hope you will find the person you will make happy.

 

[Dingfelder]

Go to the caravans and meeting places for vandwellers and you may find the person you're looking for. Or you might just meet her at some remote campsite. But don't spend life stressing about not having someone. Relationships bring their own problems. Enjoy what you have now.

What she said.  Don't get mad, get glad.  Any kind of tension or a chip on your shoulder will get you written off no matter your good qualities,so find a way to decompress or nobody will care what you have to offer.  Just IMO, I'm no expert.  But it's a frightened world full of click-bait terrors and click-bait answers to them and click-bait panic psychology geared to tell everyone to run from everyone else and judge everyone else in the worst possible way, so the last thing to do is activate anybody's over-populated pop-psych checklist of warning behaviors.  

I don't think most of us are perfectly okay or without our own problems, so be wary of the tendency to look too critically for stability in others, IMO.  Especially if it's to even you out and bring your own self around.  Perfect composure and stability is probably not reliably there in most of us, even less so in the average person choosing unusual lifestyles like this one, and always, flawlessly there in none of us.  We're already all bringing our own baggage to the table before anyone else shows up to make things more complicated.  Bring your own instability or short fuse to the mix, and any relationship will be a fuse just waiting to be kindled.

I'd say be happy with yourself as much as possible first, instead of looking for happiness elsewhere to shore you up.  If you achieve that in a deep and lasting way, you will have something to share if only because getting there is fairly rare and will make you stand out.  If only because you lack the craziness of the next random over.  

In the meantime, don't expect more of people than they can give, and don't make resentment or expectation a big part of your palette of colors.  In a world pre-wired for paranoia and suspicion between races, sexes, ages, political bent, and everything else that could possibly divide people, that will give off a stink you won't have time to shake off before your chances are done and gone. You can't complain your way into love.

 

[RoamingUSA79]

Thank you to you all.I will never except that my expectations are not realistic as I won't settle for just okay that would be lying to myself and the other person. Not looking to cradle rob ha ha.... I do not agree with the younger ladies and money thing as I have been with younger women and it wasn't sexual or money and they were more mature than a lot of women my own age. It just comes down to personality really. No hard feelings I wanted to hear from everyone bad and good and all have brought good points to it. I take nothing personal that would lust be stupid to post on a forum and expect everyone to agree ha ha. Thank you for all the positive and negative really, can learn from both... I am good by myself I have always known I can thrive on my own and will. I will think about the caravans that sounds like it could be fun... 

Hope you all are good and having life out there. anyone ever need to talk or just bullshit about anything message me...

 

[RollingOm]

So, your problem is that women ARE real. Your expectations of them are not. You may find a rare unicorn. If you do, grab her and hang onto her. You are a lucky man. But there is a lot of competition for the unicorns and most men will not be chosen.

I'm with you

 

[Day Dreamer]

Definitely a dilemma. I think about the same things. Meeting someone is hard enough but meeting someone that has the same nomadic goals might be darn near impossible in "real life". People can't seem to match up even without those differences.

I think the best chances are to start living the life you want and then find someone that has also chosen that lifestyle. In other words, go on the road and possibly meet someone already doing it. You may end up single but no better chance of that than living a "normal life".

If I am alone anyway whats the difference right? May as well be doing exactly what you want alone. We need to be prepared and willing to live without a mate if that's how it works out. And be happy.

 

[MrNoodly]

I've had better luck finding "real" people when I wasn't looking, when I wasn't auditioning. When I spend time with a variety of people the "real" ones become apparent.

Of course, the problem with finding the right person is whether they think YOU are the right person. I spent a lot of my adult life attracted to women who weren't attracted to me, and vice versa.

I think it was in an old Woody Allen movie where he approached a random couple on the street to ask them why they have a successful relationship. They answered that they're both shallow and good looking. A friend of mine, explaining her first marriage, said, "I loved his Corvette and he loved my boobs." Sometimes that's all it is. It's probably easier to connect with someone for superficial reasons than it is for deep, meaningful, enduring reasons. Because we humans do things for foolish reasons.

 

[RoamingUSA79]

To clarify... I don't know why you are focused on women not being real lol. I said fake people. I know there are many real women out there and plenty of women that would love this life style of all ages. 

Anyways I hope everyone is well. Thanks for the responses.

 

[travelaround]

I'm wondering what makes people fake as opposed to non-fake.

What are the criteria?

 

[Dingfelder]

Once you have to inflate something, or there are nozzles or hydraulics of any kind besides the natural involved, I think you're starting to move from idealization into fetish.

Which gives me more sympathy toward some of my elders.

 

[Scorpion Regent]

Roaming, I wouldn't lament that you haven't found the person you're looking for.  These things can take time.  The best advice I can give you is focus on yourself till they arrive.  Don't be selfish, be self improving.  Get your life in better order.  Work hard making sure that you are worthy of the person you want to find.  If you have issues and baggage, work them out.  If you want to be the person who can fix the van, work on that.  If you always wanted to learn Italian, work on that.  Want to play guitar better, practice, practice, practice.  What ever you do make yourself valuable and interesting.  This does not mean you should be full of yourself, just know your worth.  Evaluate what things you are looking for in your future partner, be sure that they are realistic.  Be prepared to compromise and work.  You are going to interview for a serious life opportunity.  You might as well get your resume in order so you can ace it when it happens.

 

[Scorpion Regent]

Then again, it's been five months since the last post.  He could have gotten married and divorced in that time.